Food & Finances Friday--Teacher Gifts

Last week was "Leader Appreciate Night" at AWANA. I wanted to give a little gift to the kids' teachers, to let them know that we appreciate all of their hard work.

The problem is that there are about 18 teachers for our 4 older kids. So, gifts can become quite costly.

My brainstorm was to fix up a little gift bag of candy for each teacher. They looked cute. They were small and thoughtful. And, they didn't break the bank.

1 pack of 20 gifts bags that came with twist ties.
2 packs of assorted mini candies/candy bars.
1 eight year old who thinks it is fun to stuff gift bags.

I typed up a thank you note on a address label template, and printed it out. A single hole punch provided a way to fasten the note to the twist tie.

The kids enjoyed passing out little gifts to their teachers.

I observed that other kids brought baggies or containers of baked goods. Hmm....that gives me good ideas for next year...

Luau

Jersey #2 planned a luau party for our family. While she was visiting Granny & PawPaw last week, she went to the dollar store to pick out some toys, and ended up picking out supplies for a luau. She bought invitations and filled them out herself, inviting each family member to a luau. She also bought plates, napkins, and a centerpiece. She picked out a gift for each person too. Granny was so caught up in Jersey #2's excitement while she was filling out the invitations, that she returned to the store and bought a few more items to add to the party. The two of them planned the whole thing and had all the supplies bagged up and ready for when Jersey #2 returned home.

Our family luau was a blast! Jersey #2 certainly knows how to throw a party.

We ordered pizza with pineapple topping for lunch during our luau. We were a sight to see in our grass skirts.

Jersey #2 set the table with all of her supplies. She was a great hostess.

She even bought everyone a pineapple cup for our drinks...

She gave me flower clips for my hair...

After lunch, we taught the kids how to limbo. Jersey #3 was really getting into it...

The Referee decided to show the kids how the limbo was REALLY done!

Jersey #2 baked cupcakes with Granny, which she brought home to serve during the luau.

Jersey #5 was not a fan of his grass skirt. But he was the first to sample the chocolate cupcakes.

I am still basking in the fun of this luau party. Jersey #2 has some great ideas. Getting our family together for a luau was just the fun family activity that we needed to take our minds off stress, spend time together, laugh, and make those great memories.

Role Play

I overheard Jersey #3 and Jersey #4 role playing "house" together the other day, and I just had to take their picture and capture such cuteness.

Jersey #3 was the "Dad" and he was getting his family all packed up and ready for a road trip...

When we take road trips, we have the kids pack a backpack full of toys, books, and things to entertain themselves. (Those rolling backpacks with the handle are nice because the kids can reach down and pull the bag back up into their laps, after it has fallen on the van floor). Jersey #3 had carefully packed a backpack for each of his stuffed children.


Jersey #4 was the "Mom" and she was taking care of the baby....laying in bed, soothing her baby to sleep.

I thought it was so cute to see the kids imitate with their stuffed animals, the way that we care for them. I also found it very amusing that they had 6 older children, and 1 baby. I did not realize that children from larger families tend to play house with larger families. That cracks me up.

To add to the entertainment, Jersey #1 was playing the role of the teenager in their family. She refused to cooperate for me to capture her picture. She also complained about their destination. She really captured a teenager attitude. Yikes.

When they were ready for their trip, our couch served as their van. Jersey #3 explained that he needed a really big van to drive "all these kids."

I'm pretty sure the "all these kids" line is a direct quote repeatedly spoken by The Referee!

Images of Homeschooling

We are a homeschooling family.

The term 'homeschooling' seems to conjure up images in people's minds, that I assume are based on their own opinions, viewpoints, or experiences. Comments from some folks make me wonder if the images in their minds are of sheltered children locked in a room, completely removed from the rest of society. Comments from other folks make me wonder if the images in their minds are of us re-creating a classroom setting at home, with my children handing me an apple every morning and reciting the Pledge of Allegiance to a desk-sized flag. And, then, there are the mental images of us neglecting our children's academic education entirely, and simply playing or watching TV all day long.

Since our family does not fit well into any of those categories of stereotypes, I thought it would be fun to show off some images of our homeschool.

Sometimes, our homeschool involves books, charts, pencils, paper, and all things academic...

We actually have high academic expectations for our children. Their education is important. Our academic goals, during their formative years, focus on preparing them for success in college. Reading is our first priority. A person who can read well, can learn anything. We invest in an academically strong curriculum. We decorate our home with shelves of books, and with maps and learning charts (as well as family photos). We play academic games....for fun! We also provide our kids with some educational movies and computer software. We hope to encourage their love for learning, and to instill the realization that learning is a way of life, not to be limited to a school day or school year.

Sometimes, our homeschool involves structured activities in classrooms with peers of the exact same age...

Sunday school at church, AWANA, and our homeschool co-op are great for providing this traditional "classroom" experience in small increments.....and with teachers who share our Christian values. We actually want our children to learn the basics of classroom ettiquette, so that they may be prepared for future attendance in college classrooms, job trainings & seminars, marriage & parenting seminars, and Bible study classes. We expect learning to continue throughout a lifetime, and we are responsible for training our children for life.

Our children are well aware of classifications of age and grade. They know how old they are, and they know what school grade they are in. We use age categories as milestones for responsibility and privelages. We use grade categories as milestones in their educational journey. When they complete the requirements for one grade, they move forward to the next grade. (This is where I appreciate the scope & sequence of our boxed curriculum). Most folks are gifted in specific subjects, not across the board. We assess the school grade of our children based on their age, maturity, and areas of academic strength. When they show interest in one subject over others, we add supplemental resources in that area, to challenge them and encourage their interests, while they build upon their weaker areas until they are ready for the next academic grade overall. My husband knows from experience that it is painful to be bored in school. Boredom dampens the love for learning. We do not want our children to ever grow bored in their education. Learning should be exciting.

Sometimes, our homeschool involves field trips, play time, and fun family outings in the middle of the day...

We enjoy visiting businesses during off-peak hours. We often have the entire place to ourselves, and admission prices are sometimes discounted. It is wonderful to be able to enjoy family outings on our own schedule. Field trips provide hands-on learning, and help lessons come alive. Meeting friends at the park, zoo, or aquarium keeps us active. It is important to learn the skills to build healthy relationships with friends and family.


Sometimes, our homeschool involves enrichment classes and sports activities...

This is where I say I "manage" our children's education. I keep an eye out for classes being taught at the local museums, or classes being taught by friends that would be of interest to our children. I do not expect my children to do everything....that would actually be impossible considering all that is available to homeschool families in our town. But, I want to give them the opportunities to follow their interests and build upon their education. We provide the foundations for their learning at home....and there are many ways to add to it in our community.

Sometimes, our homeschool diverts course based on the needs of our family...

We school at home. We school in the car. We even school in the waiting room of the hospital. Sometimes that means bringing worksheets to medical appointments. Sometimes that means reading a book in the car (something The Referee and the older children can do, but I cannot, because I become motion sick). Sometimes we turn a health visit into a field trip and learn a little more about some of the procedures and equipment. Sometimes we double up on the academics one day, to be able to focus on medical needs another day. Sometimes we throw academics right out the window while we learn those hard lessons about life and death, and all that runs in between. Sometimes life educates us in ways that a curriculum cannot provide.


Our homeschool does not look exactly the same every day. In fact, our daily routine does not look very routine. The Referee and I chose a structured curriculum to bring structure to our homeschool. We have structure in our family in that we are a team that works together to achieve our educational goals. The rest of our homeschool is very dynamic, and we try to go with the flow. That flexibility to blend education with life, on our own schedule, with our own style, is one of the reasons we love homeschooling.

Dear Pampers

Dear Pampers,

I do not like the recent changes you made to your Swaddlers and Cruisers diaper line. I wish you would reconsider this business decision, and bring back the diapers that were sold in those yellow and purple boxes. This was not an improvement for the better. It is worse.

I am not trying to be a critic. Actually, I am your biggest fan. I have been using your diapers for over 8 years now. For many of those years, I have had 2 children in diapers at the same time. As you can see in the picture above, there are times when my youngin's run around in just your diapers (and sometimes a shirt).

I've been through quite a few of your attempts at "improvement." I will say that the first series of Swaddlers diapers are by far, the best improvement you have ever made. They are so soft for my newborns....almost like cloth diapers, only I don't have to launder them. I wish they came in larger sizes, so that I didn't have to move into Cruisers as my babies grow.

Nonetheless, I faithfully buy the Cruisers when my babies reach size 3, because they are the next best thing to Swaddlers. I appreciate the absorbency (meaning I do not have to worry about leaks or the frequency of diaper changes). I appreciate the softness and flexibility. I appreciate the strong tabs that can hold up against my active children. I appreciate that I can buy your diapers in bulk, and that you are generous with coupons on the Sunday newspaper. I like the Sesame Street characters on your diapers. I mostly appreciate the way your diapers hold liquid away from the skin, so that my babies do not suffer with rashes.

I do not appreciate these new change to the "dry max" technology that has turned my formally wonderful diapers into thin, purple-hazed, stiffer pads. I tried to give them a chance. But, I am growing increasingly suspicious that they are not really protecting my baby's skin like the older model did. (I would be better able to prove that last point, if I wasn't also battling the difficulty in finding your wipes that contain aloe, which forced me to have to buy different wipes recently...and the scientist in me knows that I can't draw an exact conclusion with 2 altered variables in the equation). I am noticing the need to change these new diapers more often than before, which is cutting into my laziness. It also costs me more to have to buy more diapers, just so I can change them more frequently. To be honest, I am suspicious that your "dry max" technology is just a fancy name for the same technology you use to make your Baby Dry diaper line...which are actually terrible diapers, by the way. (Nobody likes that level of plastic rubbing their skin, for starters).

I am wondering what caused you to change to a lesser quality diaper? Are you feeling the loss of money from the fact that I only have 1 child in diapers right now? Did you do this to cut costs?

I have tried to do my part to keep your stock prices high. I have been a faithful customer for many years. By my 3rd child, I have even gone so far as to return other brand diapers that were given to me as baby gifts, and exchange them for the Pampers diapers that I like so much. By my 4th child, I started letting folks know what brand I preferred to use. I have not even bothered to try any other brand on my youngest 2 children. I've learned my lesson years ago.

My children are growing up, and growing out of diapers. I am guessing the financial loss to your company has inspired you to make some changes. I would like you to know that those changes are not improvements, by any stretch of the imagination. Those are the kinds of changes that are about inspire me to...

*gasp*

POTTY TRAIN!


You really don't want to do that to me do you?

Armor of God

¹¹Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

¹²For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

¹³Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

¹⁴Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

¹⁵And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

¹⁶Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

¹⁷And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

Ephesians 6:11-17

Five Years Old

This Lil' Cowboy is 5-years old today...

I love age 5. This is the age where my kids show a level of independence and behavior, that lets me know all of my love, attention, and training that I have been pouring into them for years, is actually working! Age 5 is the age of kindergarten. It is exciting to start school. It is exciting to watch the kids learn to read. I love age 5.

I am excited about Jersey #3 turning 5. He has been such a challenging child in his early years, so it is wonderful to see him growing into an independent, socially functional, sweet, & friendly kindergartner. It is even more exciting to see him start to sound out simple 3-letter words.

I am not in a hurry for my children to grow up. But, I am certainly releasing a sigh of relief that the developmental gap that Jersey #3 had before is closed up now.

Today was a day of celebration. It is easy to please Jersey #3. Cake, balloons, and presents are the important parts of a birthday for him. We also took him out to play at a local, indoor jumper place. He loves those bounce house jumpers.

He also loves to play the Wii. In this picture, he is filled with excitement about the new Wii games he received for his birthday.

He also asked for a new scooter....one with 2 wheels (in case we dared to consider one of the character toddler scooters with the 3 wheels). He assures me that he has the necessary balance to ride this scooter...

Happy Birthday Son!

Food & Finances Friday--Cowboy Boot Cake

I have been making a point to make the kids' birthday cakes homemade this year. Our budget and our lifestyle both encouraged us to be more frugal with birthday celebrations. The kids have enjoyed waking up the morning of their birthdays, to their special cakes made by Mom. I made doll cakes for Jersey #1 and Jersey #4, but I needed a cake idea that was simple enough for me, and also boy enough for Jersey #3. I found this Cowboy boot cake idea online. It was the perfect compliment to the Cowboy dress-up apparel my parents gave him.

This cake only required 1 box cake mix, 1 can of frosting, and a handful of M&Ms. I made the cake (yellow cake) in a 13x9 pan, following the mix directions. I ran a knife along the edges, to loosen it from the pan, then flipped it out onto a cutting board. With the help of The Referee holding one of Jersey #1's cowboy boots above the cake, as a pattern, I used a knife to cute the cake into the shape of a boot. It worked! (Yes, I was surprised by how easy it was to cut a cake like that...something I have never done before. All of my former cakes have been round or rectangles).

Frosting the cake was slightly trickier, because I had some broken pieces that did not leave the pan nicely, and some edges that were crumbly. The fix was to use blobs of frosting to "glue" the pieces back in place. Once again, I was surprised to see the cake still looked like a boot when I was finished frosting it.

I used blue M&Ms to give a few accents to the shape, and to put a number 5 on the cake.

Jersey #3 loved it!

Love & Respect

I just finished reading this book, Love and Respect. It is written by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. I borrowed this image of the book from his website.

The entire subject matter of this book is based on God's command in Ephesians 5:33...

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

The book is filled with many wonderful points, but there were a few that struck me with tremendous strength...

• A man needs respect (reverence) from his wife, just like a woman needs love from her husband. The author mentions that most relationship seminars focus on love, but leave out the role of respect.
  
• Respect is not a recommendation or suggestion.....it is a command from God.
• I need to show unconditional respect to my husband, much like I show unconditional love to my children. Unconditional.....meaning I don't wait for him to earn it.
• If we think about the beginning of our marriage, we married good-willed folks. So why do we assume the role of enemies when times are tough? (This was HUGE for me, because I have reached a point of denying that my husband has good intentions toward me. I am now reminded that his intentions are not evil. Poorly executed, but not evil. There is a BIG difference.)

I've received an attitude adjustment just by reading this book.

Dr. Eggerichs goes on to explain that a "Crazy Cycle" occurs in a marriage when a woman feels unloved, she reacts disrespectfully, and when a man is disrespected, he reacts in an unloving way. So, our reactions bring forth the worst response in each other.

On the other hand, if a woman makes a point to respect her husband, and a man makes a point to love his wife, then we energize our relationship.

My husband's intentions are not for evil, and I need to be respectful toward him. What a difference those two lessons make in my marriage and in my life!

Too Much

There is a common encouragement among Christians that goes something along the lines of God won't give you more than you can handle.

The idea comes from 1 Corinthians 10:13, the Bible verse that says: There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

This week, we learned that even if God doesn't give us more than we can handle, He just may give us more than the medical community can handle.

All of our providers seem to have joined in unison to the tune that we just need to wait out the time until some of the stresses in our life subside. Their treatment methods were meant for 1 or 2 BIG stresses in a person's life, not ALL that is going on in ours.

They suggest that we just hang on as best we can, until some of these stresses find closure. Our family doctor suggested that we will have a new perspective in June.....Jersey #2's heart surgery will be over, and The Referee's job situation is bound to work out by then (or else he can seek a new job after the surgery).

After some of these monstrous issues settle down, then we may be better equipped to deal with personal health issues, medication changes, insomnia, techniques for coping with stress, and marriage strains.

Right now, we have nothing to work with, because we are walking through uncommon territory. Most folks would have sunk by now, engaging in drug and/or alcohol abuse, divorce, or even suicide. How sad.

The death of a child takes its toll.

The loss of a job takes its toll.

Chronic illness takes its toll.

Not to mention, 5 young children, marital strife, job stress, financial mistakes, and relationship strains.

We used to face these stresses one at a time. For the past few years, it appears we face clusters of stresses at the same time. That is an intense way to live.

Too intense for the common therapies.

Thankfully, we do not carry these burdens alone. God may allow difficult trials to come into our lives. But, He promises to carry us through. We will stand through the trial and come out the other side still in God's hands.

Night Owls

We had a nice visit with extended family this past weekend, but we are slow to return to our regular routine, especially our sleep routine.

On Saturday, we left much later than usual, so we were traveling through the evening. The kids are usually so worn out from all of the activity, junk food, and less sleep, that they nap in the car on the way home. When it is early afternoon for their car nap, it does not usually affect their bedtime much....maybe by an hour max. My guess is that there is enough exhaustion from the travel to balance it out. This trip was different. We visited longer, drove later, and the kids napped the entire return trip. We literally carried a couple whiny, exhausted children into the house, from the van, at 8pm.

At our house, bedtime for the kids is 8:30 pm....give or take, for certain evening activities in the week. Needless to say, some of the kids were not ready to return to sleep at bedtime.

This is where being married to a night owl is a blessing!

The Referee was willing to lounge in his recliner and watch movies with the kids until they actually fell asleep. We got everyone dressed in their PJs, set out bedtime snacks, and filled sippy cups with milk.

The Referee and the kids were more than happy to let me go to bed early (9pm instead of 10:30pm).....as long as I was willing to postpone all of the chores of luggage, laundry, and cleaning out the van. It was a great trade-off. I was able to sleep off some of the exhaustion from the trip, and they were able to enjoy a movie night.

We were SO off this time, that we have actually worked that same trade-off for 2 nights now. The first night, the younger kids stayed up later than the older kids. The 2nd night, Jersey #1 was up much later than usual. Both nights, I enjoyed a night of sleep. Both nights, The Referee enjoyed a movie night with the kids.

The chores are still waiting. I am prioritizing sleep right now, because it is taking me longer to recover from the travel exhaustion. I am guessing part of the problem is stress, and part of the problem is my extra-busy life these days. I would be a mess if I had to juggle the kids' disrupted sleep habits at the same time. I am so thankful that The Referee is a night owl. His normal bedtime is midnight, so he can easily outlast the kids. Plus, he is willing to hang out with them, and care for them, until they crash. What a blessing!

4-Generations

Over the weekend, we enjoyed the RARE opportunity to visit with our 4-living grandparents (mine & The Referee's combined), our children's great-grandparents. I took the opportunity to snap a few photos of the generations together.

Here is a 4-generation photo of The Referee's maternal side of his family....

Here is a 4-generation photo of my maternal side of the family....we are the oldest daughter, of the oldest daughter, of the oldest daughter, of the oldest daughter....

4-generations with all of our children, not just the oldest....

This is a photo of our children, The Referee, and his grandparents...

*There are 4-generations alive on his paternal side of the family too. Unfortunately, The Referee's father is not in the picture.....not in this photo specifically, and sadly not in The Referee's life much either.



Looking over these pictures again, I realize that I need to take a 3-generation photo to include PawPaw. My Dad's parents are deceased, so 4-generations are not available on my paternal side of the family. We cherish the 3-generations with regular visits, so I need to make a point to save those memories in photos as well.

Facing a Bully

Jersey #2 just taught me a thing or two about how to handle a bully.

I am amazed.

Four weeks ago, she approached me in the midst of AWANA and told me that a girl in her class was pushing in line and talking rudely to her. I casually suggested she tell the girl that behavior was mean, and she shouldn't treat others that way.

Later that night, Jersey #2 reports to me that the mean girl did not like being called mean, (I said tell her the behavior was mean, and Jersey #2 said, "You are mean!") and reacted by kicking her in the leg while the class had their heads bowed and eyes closed for the closing prayer.

The next week (week #2), the car ride home from AWANA was filled with stories about all the mean behaviors this bully did to various kids over the last few weeks, and how she was targeting Jersey #2 most of the time now.

My suggestion to Jersey #2 was to keep her space, and not go around this bully girl. Jersey #2 did not accept that answer. She informed me that she needed to teach this girl how to be nice. I explained to Jersey #2 that IF she was going to take on this bully girl as a mission project, then she would have to face the consequences. The girl may come around or she may respond worse. Jersey #2 was adamant that she did not know if the bully knew Jesus, so she needed to show her the love of Jesus.

(Here is where I admit I was rather excited and proud to learn that Jersey #2 was listening to my attempts to teach the kids to be a good friend to everyone).

I made sure that she understood that approaching a bully can be harmful, as the bully has already demonstrated. I did not want her to get hurt. I also explained that in order to be a good friend to the bully, then she needed to always be kind, no matter how mean the bully responded. So, informing the bully that she was mean is actually name-calling, and that is not loving. We had a brief discussion about the "turn the other cheek" lesson from the Bible.

The next week (week 3 of this situation), Jersey #2 reports that the bully girl was extra-mean to her that evening. The bully hangs out with 2 other girls, and informed Jersey #2 that they were not her friends, so she had no business talking to them. Jersey #2 seemed upset to learn that one of the girls (girl-A) was no longer her friend, as they had been friends before. She was nearly tearful as she talked about her fears of having just lost a friend like that. She could not let go of the idea that she just needed to ask girl-A and get the truth right from the source. She was also upset that the bully girl had been mean to girl-A that night, and when Jersey #2 attempted to comfort girl-A, the bully intervened physically, and would not permit it.

I explained to Jersey #2 that if she continues to challenge this bully, she might end up hurt, and I didn't want that to happen. I assured her that I supported her desire to be a good friend to everyone....and to comfort any one in need. But, I also expressed my concern for her safety.

The Referee joined the conversation, and had a discussion with Jersey #2 about defending herself. His position on how to handle a bully is to not let the bully get away with mistreatment. He talked about some of the Tae Kwon Do moves he had taught her, and what they are for. The more he tried to encourage her to defend herself, Jersey #2 started to cry.

I interjected and explained to The Referee that in spite of my advice to take the passive approach and stay away from the bully, and in spite of his approach to challenge the bully and be prepared to defend herself, Jersey #2's approach was to take the stand that she was going to be a friend to the bully. I praised her for her love of others. I explained to her the different ways her parents each advise handling the bully. Then, I assured her that we would support her in whichever way she wanted to face the bully, provided that she did not let the stress get to her.

I also reminded her that girl-A was going to be at the park with our homeschool group the next day, so she would have a chance to talk to her without the bully being around. That brightened Jersey #2's mood. She planned to talk to girl-A and get to the bottom of the friend status.

Jersey #2 wasted no time approaching girl-A at the park, and asking if she was still her friend. Girl-A explained that she wanted to be friends with Jersey #2....that she likes to be friends with everyone....but that she remained quiet when the bully said she wasn't to be friends with Jersey #2 because she did not want the bully to turn against her. Jersey #2 completely understood that reasoning. She was thrilled that girl-A was still her friend. She promised to not confront the bully about her friendship with girl-A, so that girl-A would not be at risk of being bullied. She was excited to share the news with me. Then, she ran off and played at the park for hours with her friend.

I was pleased that Jersey #2 was so happy to have peace about her friendship. I was speechless that she understood and accepted her friend's approach to the bully, but simply rufused to adopt that approach for herself.

Armed with the security of knowing that the bully's companion was still her friend, Jersey #2 was ready to take on the bully tonight.

Here we are at week 4, and Jersey #2 informs us that during AWANA this evening, she went up to the table where the bully and the 2 girls were sitting for craft time, and sat down with them. She complimented the bully's coloring, to which the bully said "Thank you." She then proceeded to strike up conversations with the kids at the table. One topic was the number of kids in their families. The bully could not resist sharing how many brothers and sisters she had, after learning she has more than Jersey #2. That level of competition did not phase Jersey #2 because she was SO pleased that she was enticing the bully to talk to her in a friendly way.

At the closing program that evening, Jersey #2 made a point to stand with the bully and her 2 companions and asked if they would all like to be her friend. The bully replied that she needed to think about it. The second companion, girl-B, said "yes" she would like to be Jersey #2's friend. Girl-B sealed the deal by walking a step behind the bully on the way back to the classroom, and reached out her hand to Jersey #2, to hold while they walked.

Jersey #2 won.

She did not follow the bully-advice of either of her parents. She chose her own path. She weakened the power of the bully by picking off the companions one-by-one and befriending them. As far as she is concerned, it is no longer an issue. She informed us tonight that the bully wanted to think about it, but the other girls are her friends. She confidently explained that the bully will be her friend by next week, because she really has no choice....

"She has to be my friend now, because everyone else in the class likes me and is my friend."

Just like that. Problem solved. In a manner that I never would have imagined...

Big Shoes To Fill

Jersey #5 has reached that age of toddler-hood when it is so much fun to try on shoes. This is often the age when our little girls would take fancy with princess dress up shoes. This is also the age when cowboy boots begin to become popular.

Sticking to his usual method of taking a common developmental trend, and adding an element of danger, Jersey #5 thought it would be fun to try on his big brother's roller skates.

It was surprising to see how well he skated in them. He managed to get a skate on each foot, stand up, AND move his feet forward one at a time (on carpet)....

He is such a physical child, and apparently he is making that work for him. He makes me nervous though. Greater physical strength and size than expected for his age, added to a lack of fear, and a gift for danger, is a scary combination for a mother to experience!


Thankfully, this time, he landed well...

A Matter of Perspective

I often joke that I knew a whole lot more about parenting before I ever had children.

It is easier to form a theory than to put it into practice.

On Facebook yesterday, a handful of my friends happened to post an article about parenting within the same few hours. Each of them posted an article that was positive for their style of parenting. Each article took a very different approach from the others. I was entertained by the timing of the article posts. I also enjoyed reading the articles and the comments of my friends.

I admit, though, that the burst of information shook me up a little. It wasn't the specific information that got me. I have my agreements and disagreements there. I know my friends are loving parents who are seeking the best for their individual families. It was the realization that my motherhood experience just does not seem to fit nicely into those various labels & styles that were posted.

I used to delight in being different like that. I have joked with some of my Mommy friends about how I pick and choose things out of different parenting labels, but I don't really fit into a specific one.

But, what struck me yesterday, and plowed me over this morning, is the realization that my own parenting style keeps changing based on the circumstances in my life. My perspective keeps changing.

An easy example was how I was so nervous about leaving Jersey #1 overnight when I delivered Jersey #2. I worried about how she would do without me. Well, the joke was on me, because when it was time to take Jersey #2 for heart surgery, I didn't even think twice about Jersey #1 being in my parents' care for 12 days! My worries dissipated as my priorities changed.

Last night, Jersey #5 woke up in the middle of the night, battling congestion. I got up to get him a drink, and he followed me to the kitchen. On the way, we passed by The Referee (who was up battling insomnia), sitting in the recliner, watching a movie, with Jersey #4 asleep in his arms. Jersey #5 immediately went open-arms to his Daddy, and The Referee volunteered to rock him, and let me return to bed. I offered to carry Jersey #4 to her bed...she had woken too, and The Referee rocked her back to sleep. The Referee considered the idea, as he looked down at his two youngest children snuggling in his lap.....but decided he would just rock both of them a while.

Normally, I would have been quick to argue that sleeping children should be moved to their beds, to encourage healthy sleep habits. Last night, I took one look at my husband, cuddling and rocking his young children, and I thought about how holding sleeping children is so therapeutic and calming. Considering the level of stress we are under right now, does it really matter if he holds the kids for the rest of the night? Is it really going to ruin their ability to form healthy sleep habits? No. It is better that we draw closer as a family and hold each other and comfort each other, and combat this stress. So, I tossed a blanket on them, and returned to bed.

I took the older 4 children to the dentist today. Upon exam, the dentist discovered that Jersey #4 has a rather large cavity, on a very small tooth. It needs to be capped. When Jersey #2 and Jersey #3 needed caps on some of their teeth, the dentist recommended the procedure be done under general anesthesia. They were each 2 years old, and required a few different teeth to be capped. Considering Jersey #4 only needs 1 single tooth capped, and she is already 3 years old, the dentist recommended trying the procedure in-office, instead. He would use sedation medication to make her drowsy, but she would be awake. Jersey #4 has not been cooperative about sitting in the big chair for cleanings, so the concern is will they get any better cooperation from her if sedated. If not, they would want to restrain her by wrapping her like a papoose. Of course, I would be by her side the entire time.

In the past, I would have been abhorred by the mere thought of a dentist restraining my child. How inhumane! Wouldn't that just breed a fear of the dentist?

Today, I took the information all in stride. We have been taking our children to this specific dentist for over 6 years now. I am well aware that the staff do their best to make dental visits the most positive experience possible. They go the extra mile to help children feel comfortable. I am so thankful that this dentist seeks the least invasive treatment option each and every time, on a case-by-case basis. I know this because we have dealt with A LOT of dental stuff. A LOT! (We have terrible teeth genetics). To be honest, I am relieved that he is willing to try the in-office procedure in the first place. That is so much safer than general anesthesia. He knows it and I know it. But, we also know that restraining Jersey #4 might upset her to the point of hating the dentist for life. The hygienist took the time to explain ways they work to re-build trust if Jersey #4 holds a grudge.

As I explained the situation to The Referee, I asked him if it is strange that I am not upset about the idea of restraining at the dentist, like I would expect myself to be? I am actually relieved that she doesn't have to go under anesthesia for treatment. He suggested it was a matter of perspective. Right now, we are facing open-heart surgery for one of our children, so the idea of swaddling a child's arms to their body for a dental procedure seems small by comparison. When we compare a procedure that may scare a child, versus general anesthesia which can be life-threatening, restraint is not so horrible.

My perspective has really changed. It is amazing what a massive amount of stress and crisis will do to change my priorities. There are so many child rearing details and parenting choices, that were once gravely important, yet seem so insignificant to me right now.

The part that doesn't seem to change is my calling to love my children unconditionally, and support them through all of these challenges in life, no matter how big, scary, or life-threatening.

Sing unto the Lord

Jersey #2 loves to sing. She has always been rhythmic. She danced to music and played with toy instruments well before she attempted to talk. When she was very young, she was mesmerized by the music at church, but would go play in the nursery for the prayer request and sermon time. She would often sing the hymns or praise & worship songs that were sung that day, in the car on the way home. When a drummer first joined the music team, Jersey #2 brought out a couple toys from the nursery, placed them in the aisle next to the pew we were sitting in, and proceeded to pound on them like drums, to the beat. Bible verses in songs were the first Bible verses she learned. In kindergarten, she memorized the Bible verses for AWANA that were set to music much faster than the ones where she had to read and repeat until she learned them. To this day, she can recite all of those verses just from hearing the first note in the song they were set to.

I am not rhythmic, so she did not get those genes from me. I tend to tune the music out and listen to the words. I really dislike music where the lead singer mumbles or screams, because I can't make out the words to the song. Even though I do not share Jersey #2's love of music, I was rather frustrated when our church went through tensions over the music selections and instruments a couple years ago. In the midst of all the discussions about what was proper and biblical, no one seemed to care that some folks first learn about Jesus through the music. Jersey #2 is one of those folks. I don't personally attend church for the music, but I certainly appreciate the way it has the ability to reach my daughter at such a young age.

Thankfully, music has returned to the Sunday morning worship service at our church. Jersey #2 has gained a stronger passion (and volume) for singing in church. She looks forward to the Sunday morning services. She has grown from an interest only in the music, to starting to take notes during the sermon, and following along in her Bible.

Unfortunately, music is no longer part of the evening services, so she lost interest in those. I am hoping that interest to participate will come with time and maturity.

Jersey #2 paired up with a friend who also sings loudly, and they raised the volume of the singing in church. Their voices are sweet. Their volume grabs your attention. They were very excited over the songs that they recognize from home and the radio, because it didn't require as much reading of the words. Usually, I look over at them and smile and think about how cute they are.

Jersey #2's voice brought tears to my eyes in church yesterday. She sang so loud and with such joy. She has learned to follow along with the words projected on the screen, so she is now able to sing along even if she doesn't know the song very well. But, yesterday, she knew one of the praise songs very well. It is one that plays on the Christian radio station I listen to in the car. It is beautiful and catchy. The part that struck me was when she was singing the words....

I will lift my eyes to the Healer
of the hurt I hold inside

Just thinking about her upcoming heart surgery, and our God as the Great Healer....and she was singing praises to God to the top of her lungs. I blinked and blinked to fight the tears, and choked instead of singing. I was overwhelmed by the emotion of it all.

In the van on the ride home, Jersey #2 informed me that she sang so loud because she just had to get it all out of her heart, and she couldn't hold it in anymore! (I cried again). What a precious child.

The song is called "I will lift my eyes" by Bebo Norman. Here are the words....

I WILL LIFT MY EYES
By Bebo Norman

God, my God, I cry out
Your beloved needs You now
God, be near calm my fear and take my doubt
Your kindness is what pulls me up
Your love is all that draws me in

I will lift my eyes to the Maker
of the mountains I can't climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer
of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

God, my God, let mercy sing
her melody over me
and God, right here all I bring
is all of me
Your kindness is what pulls me up
Your love is all that draws me in


I will lift my eyes to the Maker
of the mountains I can't climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer
of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You


'Cause You are and You were and You will be forever
the Lover I need to save me
'Cause You fashioned the earth and You hold it together, God
so hold me now

I will lift my eyes to the Maker
of the mountains I can't climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer
of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

God, my God, I cry out
Your beloved needs You now

Sleep Fights

Last night, I was awakened by my youngest two children in an odd way.

I typically get to enjoy a full night's rest without disruption, now that all of my children are older and no longer require care in the night like they did as infants. The awakenings due to illness, or nightmares, or falling out of bed are fairly rare (which is nice).

So imagine my surprise to be woken by the sounds of my youngest 2 children fighting over a toy in their bedroom at 2am!

Jersey #4 was yelling at Jersey #5, telling him to give her back her horse. She was referring to the stick ponies they each received yesterday. She was yelling Jersey #5's name and telling him that his horse was the black horse, and she had the white one. Each time she yelled his name, Jersey #5 would fuss and whine in response. There was clear aggravation and struggle in both of their voices.

The comment about the white horse grabbed my attention immediately, so I sprung out of bed. Jersey #4 did not have a white horse, she had the brown one. I had purchased additional stick horses, including a white one, for Jersey #3's upcoming birthday. To be fighting over the white horse, the younger kids must have gotten into bag I had stored in the office. They know better than that...

Since their bedroom door was partially closed, I opened the door entirely with one hand, while flipping on the hallway light switch with the other hand. The light from the hallway gave me full view of the situation, which was not anything like it sounded.

Jersey #3 was sound asleep in his bed, oblivious to the noise from his siblings.

Jersey #5 was asleep in his bed, wiggling around and fussing every time he heard his name called. He was growing more aggravated as his sleep was disrupted.

Jersey #4 was on the floor, kneeling next to her bed, pulling and tugging on her blanket while she yelled at her younger brother to give her back her horse. It was clear that she was in a battle of tug-of-war....only she was sitting on half of the blanket, and tugging the other half with her arms. Her game of tug-of-war was entirely with herself. There was not a stick pony in sight. She was not awake, but her language was very clear, and her actions were very determined.

I tried to hold back the laughter while I called out her name. She stopped arguing with her brother and looked up at me. I told her that she was dreaming and her pony was safe in the living room right now. I informed her that she was pulling on her own blanket. She looked up at me in disbelief and smiled and giggled. I suggested she climb back into bed and I would cover her up with her blanket. She complied, still giggling at herself. By the time I covered her up, she was back to sleep, quietly.

Jersey #5, on the other hand, was ticked. He did not appreciate being woken up in a fight with his sister that he really wasn't having. I was still laughing while I tried to tuck him back into bed with his pacifier and blanket. He refused and held up his arms to me, still fussing. I picked him up right at the time that The Referee came to their room to see what the ruckus was all about. I was trying to be quiet while still laughing as I told him the story of what was going on.

We had a good laugh at our entertaining children. We know our kids are active sleepers, but this scenario is over the top even for them. The Referee suggested we just bring Jersey #5 back to our bed, so that we could all return to sleep. Jersey #5 settled right in, pleased that his parents would protect him from his sister's middle-of-the-night attacks!

Jersey #4 had no recollection of her active dream by the time she woke up this morning.

Food & Finances Friday--Burnt Cookies

I totally messed up the Resurrection Cookies. The devotional and mixing process Saturday night was beautiful and memorable. The kids were really engaged. When we put the cookies into the warm oven for the night, I was suspicious that they did not look quite right.

For starters, the recipe said to place the mounds on the cookie sheet. My cookies looked more like splats...

They were still pretty splatted Sunday morning. I explained to the kids what the cookies were suppose to look like....puffed up and hollow inside (because the tomb is empty). I thought we could sample them anyway. But, when I tried to lift a cookie off the tray, it was obvious it was still quite moist.

I thought I could fix the situation. I am not sure why, because I am not skilled in the kitchen, and I have never been able to fix a failed recipe in my life.

I decided that maybe the cookies just needed more heat. So, I turned on the oven and put the cookies back in for a few minutes.....or 15 minutes, because I became distracted with the kids opening their Easter gifts.

Jersey #1 mentioned that the house was starting to fill with smoke.

I jumped up and turned off the oven, opened the doors and some windows, and turned on the vent above the stove. Thankfully, I acted fast enough to prevent the smoke alarms from going off. (Does it seem strange that I know how to clear smoke from the house, but I do not know how to fix a botched cookie recipe?)

It turns out that my splatted cookies did not rise with the additional heat. But, the wax paper they were resting on did start to turn brown, and even burned where it was touching the side of the oven.

Maybe the outcome will be better next year...

Compliments are Due

I have been working on holding my tongue, in an attempt to not verbalize criticism and judgments. I've got a long way to go. I really need to work on not having the critical thoughts in the first place, but this is a lengthy growing process for me.

Recently, I've been shown a new side to some of the stereotypes I maintain.

So, I think it is time I issue the compliments that are due.

Starting with jury duty and the courthouse, let me say that I am pleasantly surprised by the compassion I was shown last month. I have been summoned to grand jury duty for 3 full months, which officially completed on March 31st. The juror coordinator really did keep her word and attempted to work with our schedules so that being called to jury duty was not as big of a burden as anticipated. Jury duty summons certainly has a bad reputation. I see that the courthouse staff really are working to improve that reputation.

My number was picked to report for the alternate panel on a Monday in the middle of March. It happened to be the week right after The Referee was placed on furlough....the week that he ended up working. He did not have the flexibility to take a day off to watch the kids so that I could report for jury duty. So, I emailed the juror coordinator with my apology about not being able to report that day.

She gave me the kindest response. She told me that since I had already been called in 3 times, and I had volunteered to stay twice, that in light of the current challenges in my life, she would simply consider my jury duty obligation complete! I was so surprised. And relieved. What a blessing to have that responsibility lifted from me at such a stressful time in my life. It was a treat to receive compassion from the courthouse.

My second confession-based compliment is for the medical insurance company. I griped about their business practice of having to pre-authorize treatment, and essentially holding the right to deny treatment. Today, I received word that they have pre-authorized treatment for Jersey #2 to travel to California for heart surgery. It was a very simple, straight-forward process, and the authorization was given readily. In the end, my stereotype of the "heartless" insurance business proved untrue. They certainly seem to have enough "heart" to be willing to pay the medical expenses to fix Jersey #2's heart. For that, I am very grateful.

Lil' Actresses

Considering that The Referee and I are both nerdy, scientific folk by nature, he is excited to think they might get a double dose of a love of science and math. I often tease him that our children will turn out to be Art or History folk, just to rebel against us.

Our older two daughters are on their way to making my joke come true.

They have been taking an American History class this school year, at a friend's house. The class began as a history and writing class, but quickly diverted to including a play this Spring semester. The play was based on the American Girl, Felicity.

Not only is Jersey #1 completely enamored with all things American Girl these days, but she also received the Felicity doll and book series this past Christmas. To add to her delight, she was cast in the starring role, as Felicity in the play.

Jersey #2 was cast as Nan, Felicity's younger sister.

The play was a lot of fun. The girls really enjoyed wearing the costumes, rehearsing, and putting on the show for the parents.

I had absolutely no idea that my shy, Jersey #1 would embrace the spotlight like this. She is already asking for me to find a drama class or such activity for the summer or next school year. Jersey #2 is on her heels, wanting to be part of a play or drama class as well.

Where did these little actresses come from? I'm pretty sure acting skills are not in our gene pool.

Art Appreciation

Jersey #2 is taking an Art class with our Homeschool Co-op this semester. The lead teacher organized a field trip to the local Art Museum.

The morning of the event, I started to have second thoughts about taking my young children to an Art Museum. Aren't museums usually quiet, serious places, even more so than the public library?

Then, I made the mistake of lining the kids up for a photo in front of the artwork in the lobby. After I snapped a picture, Jersey #2 informed me that the sign at the front desk said that cameras were not allowed. Really? She and Jersey #1 went back over to the sign to read the rules. Sure enough, no food, no cameras, and please turn down your cell phone. Oops.

The actual field trip through the museum went well. The lead docent was skilled enough with children to split the group into older and younger kids, to cater the tour to the ages. She was still a bit slower to move through the museum than most of the younger kids would have preferred. Lucky for me, Jersey #5 fell asleep in the stroller, as I was rocking it back and forth to keep him calm, and ended up rocking him to sleep. He slept through the entire hour-long tour.

I only had to field a few comments about being tired and thirsty, issue a few reminders to not touch anything, and also had to tell Jersey #4 that she could not climb on the animal sculptures. Overall, I thought the trip went very well. I was glad we went.

As soon as we returned home, Jersey #3 summed up his experience for The Referee....

"It was a lot of NOT-fun. We only got to stand still and be quiet the whole time!"

We are raising such cultured children.

Toothless

Jersey #2 lost her first tooth....the natural way

She is so excited. She has watched her older sister lose a bunch of teeth over the last couple years. She has been wondering when it will be her turn. Jersey #1 lost her first tooth on her 6th birthday. So, Jersey #2 has been wondering what is wrong with her teeth, every day since she turned 6. She has been anxious to get a dollar from the tooth fairy Mommy/Daddy.

Jersey #2 was late in cutting teeth as an infant. I wonder if that has any effect on the time line for losing those baby teeth? She didn't cut this bottom tooth until she was 10 months old.

It finally started to turn out of place, then became loose. She then proceeded to wiggle it nonstop until she got it to lay on its side. I am not sure what was keeping it in, but she finally asked me to pull it out, because she could not get it to release.

Sometimes my Mommy job lets me pretend to be a dentist.....and then I get to put on my tooth fairy wings.

Her missing bottom tooth lines up nicely with the top tooth that has been missing since she was 3 years old. That loss was much more traumatic. First, she ran into a metal chair at church and knocked the tooth loose. Then, her little brother (Jersey #3) knocked the tooth half-out by throwing a hard plastic toy in her direction. Due to the nature of the trauma to her gums, and her heart condition, an oral surgeon finished removing the tooth in a much gentler fashion.

I still laugh when I think about that experience. Our pediatric dentist referred her to the oral surgeon, hoping the extraction could be done in-office (instead of under general anesthesia). The oral surgeon typically dealt with adult patients, and he was not prepared for our feisty 3-year old Jersey #2. She had plenty of experience with medical providers, and they did not scare her. His secretary squeezed us in for a same-day appointment. But, Jersey #2 did not appreciate the wait, and informed the dentist....as she climbed up into the big chair....that everyone else in his waiting room got to take a turn before she did. She did not appreciate being last! She left an impression with that dentist, with her personality and also with her quick healing.

Now, she gets to enjoy having her two missing teeth line up with each other...

She also likes the way that air passes through the holes and slurs her speech. The details of life just crack her up.

And, she is already working hard on the bottom tooth beside the missing one, because it is also loose.