Letting it sink in

Jersey #2's cardiology appointment went very well. I took in my bulleted, typed, list of questions for the doctor. She said I was her most organized parent. She took my list and went over every single point of concern. She is great like that.

There was so much information passed to us during that visit, that my head is still spinning this morning, trying to process it all.

This appointment started the surgical time line. The next step is for the cardiology nurse to send a letter to our medical insurance company, explaining the need for surgery, and requesting pre-authorization to pay for it. She anticipates she will hear back from them by early next week. She does not anticipate any challenges to securing insurance authorization, thankfully. It still troubles me that my daughter's health is turned into a business decision, as far as the insurance company is concerned. Considering they approved the first surgery which saved her life, I pray they approve this surgery just as easily.

As soon as she has pre-authorization from the insurance company, she can schedule the surgery at the Children's Hospital. So, in about a week, we should know the surgery date.

On the way to the hospital yesterday, we bumped into a friend from church. He drives the shuttle from the parking lot to the hospital, so he gave us a ride. It is nice to see a cheerful face, especially when we are feeling stressed.

We took Jersey #1 with us to the appointment so that Jersey #2 would have a friend to play with in the waiting area while we spoke with the doctor about some of the more serious topics. Jersey #2 liked being able to show her sister how everything goes during her cardiology appointments.

I knew that today's appointment was going to be the big step that gets the process started. Life will become a whirlwind of events. My brain is already a whirlwind of medical data. It is taking time for it all to sink in. Whew!

Today is the Day

Today is the day that Jersey #2 has an appointment with her cardiologist. This is the day that starts the surgery time line. Please pray for us. We are overwhelmed with emotions.

Our biggest fear is losing her.

I keep reminding myself that there are many, many other risks in life that can take our life. There are no guarantees. Our time on Earth is short. It is a just a dot in the midst of eternity. Open-heart surgery is a risky situation. But, it isn't the only risky situation Jersey #2 experiences. Driving in a car, for example, can also be fatal, yet we do that daily.

For some reason, facing the surgery causes us to face mortality and our lack of control over our lives and our children's lives. The emotions that accompany the thoughts are strong and overwhelming.

Thankfully, I know Gods hands are carrying us through this. He has been taking care of every detail, and blessing us abundantly already. Our church has rallied around us. They hold us up when we are not strong enough to stand. They are providing the things we need....prayers, travel expenses, and gifts for Jersey #2 to take with her. Our extended family has rallied around us with their prayers and plans to care for our healthy children, so that we may focus on Jersey #2. My Mom has brainstormed the perfect gifts for Jersey #2 to help her have a positive focus every step of her recovery process. Our friends are rallied around us with thoughts, prayers, and encouragement.

It is very clear to me that we are not going through this trial alone.

A comment was made during Sunday school this week that really struck me.

We WALK through the shadow of the valley of death......we are not asked to stop and live there.

Thank you to everyone who is holding our hands and walking this course along with us. Please continue to pull us back up every time our knees buckle.

Pulling Weeds

It is barely Spring, but the weeds have taken over the rock landscaping in our front yard. I am not sure how they survive the wind and snow and crazy weather. They are tough weeds.

The Referee is actually allergic to the weeds in our yard, so he has to cover his skin with long pants and long sleeves in order to pull them. He wears a mask to weed whack. He takes his allergy med. He takes Benedryl at night if he starts wheezing. Needless to say, he is not a fan of the weeds or the work involved to get rid of them.

So, he came up with an idea to lighten his load. He decided to pay the kids $1 for every bag of weeds they pulled. We used Walmart shopping bags as the measurement. The older kids were very excited about this business venture.

Jersey #2 has a head for money, so we knew she would be on board. She pulled weeds with gusto, and then volunteered to accompany The Referee to the bank to get her payment immediately.

Jersey #1 stacked up quite a number of bags, quickly. It turns out she was scooping up the piles of weeds that The Referee was pulling, and adding them to her own collection to fill her bags faster. She is an opportunist. A brilliant opportunist. We have to keep an eye on her...

Jersey #3 loves to do anything that is just like his Daddy. He put on his gloves (even though they were actually snow gloves), because his Daddy wore work gloves.

Jersey #4 figured out real fast, that filling up a Walmart bag was a lot of work, and she was much slower than her siblings. So, she went inside and got a Ziploc sandwich baggie, and proudly filled it with weeds and grass clippings.

I am not a fan of yard work either. I would have much rather taken the approach that Jersey #5 took.....he napped through the whole afternoon instead.

Bringing Home the Bacon

The children and I watched a movie that was set during the pioneer days. In this movie, a woman is shown trying to chase down a chicken from the hen house to butcher in order to make fried chicken for dinner.

Some children would naturally be upset by this process of getting dinner meat. Jersey #2 is apparently NOT one of those soft-natured children.

The next day, while the kids were outdoors playing "house," Jersey #2 runs inside to grab a toy. As she runs past me to return outdoors, she hollers over her shoulder that she was going out to kill a pig so her "family" could have bacon for lunch.

Reconsidering Potty Training

Jersey #4 has been independently potty trained for a few months now. By independently, I am speaking of her ability to recognize the need to go potty, and her ability to get herself to the bathroom to take care of business....or ask for the help she may need.

With the recent warm weather allowing for more outdoor play, I noticed that Jersey #4 has started wetting herself. This is not a surprise or a concern, because it is so common for kids to get busy playing and not want to break up that fun in order to go potty.

But, it is a matter of training to address.

So after the 3rd underwear change in one day, I gave Jersey #4 my "lecture" about how she needs to starting coming inside to go potty instead of wetting herself. I reminded her that she is a big girl now, and dry underwear are a big girl responsibility. She listened very intently, and nodded in agreement.

I was starting to be impressed with her level of obedience.

She looked up at me and flashed a sweet smile then asked,

"Um....can I just have a diaper?"


I actually lost all level of composure and authority at that point, because I busted out laughing. I laughed through my answer that no she was not going to return to diapers...she was going to be a big girl who remembered to go to the bathroom in time. She laughed at me laughing, said, "Ok", and went outside.

That child is really something. Clearly, I am in over my head trying to raise her.

Great News

The chaos is over! The madness has stopped! The circus has left town!

We've received great news about The Referee's job situation. The end result is more than an answer to our prayers.....it is more than we ever even thought to ask for....it is our heart's desires. It's AWESOME!

So, here's what happened....

The Referee received a phone call and then an email asking him to report to work for a meeting yesterday afternoon. The general manager of the local branch of the company wanted to meet with all of the employees affected by the Stop Work issued on the program they were on. The employees have been out of work (furlough) for 2 weeks. We were expecting the meeting to be a lay-off announcement.

A synopsis was given about the series of events that led to the Stop Work. The unexpected challenges were discussed. Then, the solutions were presented.

The contract that needed to be renewed is now open for bid. The company (the incumbent) has put in their bid, hoping to receive the renewal contract as well. The process takes time, so that news may not arrive for 6 months or so. In the meantime, the company will be managing some work and operations through their subcontractors. Financially, they will be funding the employee salaries through the subcontractors.

The Referee was given the name of the subcontractor who will be carrying him in this interim time. The inter-office paperwork process to set that up is expected to take another week.

Thankfully he will not have to use up any more leave while he waits out that week. He has only had to use 2 days so far. While he is waiting to return to work, he will be paid through the marketing fund. While he waits, he is asked to think up ideas for the company, research them, and write an internal paper for the general manager. If any of the submitted ideas take off into a project for the company, the employee will be promoted to project manager.

I am excited about the work, the paychecks, and the continuation of our medical benefits. That answers all my prayers. I like stability.

The Referee is excited about being paid to think, and getting to present those ideas to see if they take off. He has a passion for science and new technology. He loves to think up ideas. His mind races constantly. He already has a couple ideas that have been rolling around his head already, and he also helped a coworker come up with a idea during the meeting. Plus, it turns out that the general manager who will see these ideas is someone The Referee has been wanting to share ideas with anyway, but he did not know how to seek that opportunity. In addition to answering his prayers for medical coverage for our daughter, God is blessing The Referee with the desires of his heart.

The blessings continue with the comfort of The Referee being able to do all this "thinking" work at home. He is able to close himself up in his lab (home office) and work. When it is time for a break, instead of chatting around the water cooler, he has the opportunity to hang out with me and the kids. It is a treat to get to eat lunch with him too. He has already eased my load by helping with some Spring Cleaning chores, cooking dinner one evening, and even watching the kids while I went to the dentist.

For the next week or so, he has his dream job. We also get to enjoy a break from the regular routine and have him home. Since he still has a job, complete with medical insurance, we can enjoy this time with him home, instead of stressing about job hunting. Plus, next week, he gets to join me to take Jersey #2 to her cardiology appointment, without disrupting his work schedule.

Never in my wildest dreams could I have considered this fantastic outcome. Praise God for these abundant blessings!

Spring Cleaning

I am on a Spring Cleaning kick right now. I think I might be taking it just a tad too far, because my 18-month old pushed a chair up to the sink to help with the dishes today. I had no idea that I made washing dishes by hand look like fun.

Normally, I love to be organized, but I am not much of a housekeeper. I don't have a good schedule for scrubbing toilets and mopping floors. A little mess doesn't bug me. (I don't like icky smells though, so I do have my limits for how out of hand I will let a messy house go.)

I like to have a place for everything, and I like to find it in its place when I need it. I would like the kids to do a better job of putting their things back in their place, but that is still a work in progress at this point.

In my gene pool, some of the women keep a very clean house as a result of feeling that the rest of their life is out-of-control. I suppose it gives them a sense of security to control the clutter & dirt. I can see where this habit arrives. My life feels out-of-control right now, and I am finding it rather therapeutic to clean.

Everything else is up in the air, but the house is starting to look cleaner.

I'm an Aunt (again)

This beautiful bundle of joy is my new niece....

I am so excited to be an Aunt (again).

Being an Aunt gives me all the fun of welcoming a new baby without any of the work.

Laughing Matters

I realize this week has been rather serious for blog post topics. Our life seems rather serious right now. A job lay-off, or the fear of a job lay-off is a pretty serious thing. Open-heart surgery on a small child is a pretty serious thing. Lumping those two together in the same couple months seems overwhelming.

Or absurd.

Even though the events in our life are actually rather scary right now, The Referee and I find ourselves laughing quite a bit at the absurdity of it all. We are calm to the knowledge that we are only able to handle what is in our control. And, right now, most of this stuff is completely out of our control.

The situation with The Referee's job resembles a playground dispute. The difference is that it is grown men who are arguing about who should have done what, and who is to blame. One side tattled. The other side is mad that they got into trouble, so they decided to take their toys (or contract & money as this adult version really is) and go home. That punishes all the kids on the playground, because now no one can play the game. It is so petty that it is almost comical.

We have no way of knowing how things will turn out. We do not know how many days The Referee will remain employed. We are taking each working day, or each leave day, or each leave-without-pay day in stride, because it is out of our control.

What is in our control is to job hunt. That search is on. The Referee is a work horse, and he knows how to get a job. So, I have full confidence that he is focused on providing for his family.

We have a little over a week before Jersey #2 sees her cardiologist. We have no say in the surgical timeline at this point. That is out of our control. What is in our control is to love her and care for her. We pray for her health. We will take her to her cardiology appointment when that day arrives. We will listen carefully to the recommendations of her medical team.

We have no idea how many paychecks will continue to arrive in our bank account. The employment situation is not steady right now. What is in our control is to live below our means, scrimp and save where we can, and prepare some options for the future. We have contacted our Realtor about trying to sell our house. We are purging our house of more junk to bring in cash and also decrease the amount of stuff we would have to move if it came to that.

We are taking the time to laugh at our situation, instead of screaming or blaming. We are taking the time to remember what is most important to us. We are taking the time to thank God for all that we have.

Our life is in God's hands. And, He knows what He is doing...

Food & Finances Friday--Credit Card Debt

I really thought we had endured all of the games that the credit card industry play. I was wrong. They are at it again. Last Fall, we dealt with a series of interest rate increases, credit line decreases, minimum payment increases, and random changes of the payment due date. These were all attempts from the credit card companies to get more fees out of us, in anticipation of the changing laws dampening their business. Those laws took effect in February. Now, they are playing new games.

We have a signature loan debt with a company that also offers credit cards. The account statement this month showed a payment that was much larger than the "fixed" payment we have had for the past couple years. I called to inquire about what suddenly changed.

The first account assistant could not figure it out. He looked over our account and saw that the payments have always been on time. The interest rate had not changed. There were no additional fees. So, he transferred me to someone else.

The next assistant to get on the phone took a while looking through our account. She finally blamed the government. I actually laughed out loud at that response. She explained to me that the new laws require them to set payments to the extent that credit cards could be paid off in a "reasonable time," which she casually said was 8 years. I informed her that we were speaking of a loan, not a credit card, and the loan was specifically set up for 8 years, with a fixed interest rate and payment. She stumbled over her words, and tried to blame the government some more.

After she realized I was not going to accept her faulty information, she changed gears and informed me that the first assistant had actually transferred me to the "hardship" department. She said she would be willing to look and see if there was any way she could change the payment based on hardship. I was curious about what options were available, so I let her try.

We spent a few minutes going over details of our income and expenses. I shared that The Referee was going to be on furlough by the end of the week. She gasped at the amount we spend on medical expenses. She took the info and ran it across the system and came back with a slightly smaller payment, and a referral to a consumer credit counseling service.

That was an interesting response.

I let her transfer me to the credit counseling service rep, more out of curiosity. Since I am not sure how long we will have paychecks to pay our bills, I thought it would be good to know what the next step is in the process. I know of 1 friend who used a credit counseling service years ago, so I already had a bit of an idea of what they were about.

What I learned was that they have nothing to offer us.

When someone signs on with a credit counseling service, they go through an assessment of their budget with a financial adviser. The service then sets up a monthly payment that the consumer pays to the service, and the service distributes the payment to all the creditors. This service is for unsecured debt. The service also charges a fee, somewhere between $10-$50, depending on what state you are in. The service claims to talk to the creditors and get a decreased interest rate and payment, in an attempt to pay off the balances sooner. The consumer is encouraged to close up the credit cards and no longer use them. With this service, credit card debt is paid off in 3-5 years.

I explained to the rep that we had already shredded all of our credit cards. We are paying on them every month, in an attempt to pay them off. The payment schedule we are using will pay off our debts in less than the 3-5 years offered. (We are following Dave Ramsey's plan, which does just about the same thing, without the fee!)

I explained that we were talking about a hypothetical situation anyway, because if the paycheck goes away, there will be no money to make credit card payments. That is when the rep recommended that I call back to the internal hardship department of that credit card company. She shared with me that they are able to do much more for their customers, but tend to transfer them to consumer credit counseling as a way to brush them off and get someone else to deal with them. She assured me that the company has many other means for dealing with my debt and circumstances. I find that very interesting.

I have not pursued it anymore so far. Right now, we have the paychecks to cover the payments, so our accounts remain current. If that status changes, I will deal with it then.

Fire

Jersey #1 has been having nightmares about our house catching on fire. I knew the first one had to be pretty intense, because she came to our bed in the middle of the night, all upset, and slept the rest of the night with us. She has not done that in many years.

I remember having similar nightmares when I was a kid. I was a bit older than she is. I think I was in 5th grade at the time. I remember the nightmares being so terrifying that I talked with my parents about them quite a lot. When the fire department did their annual inspection of our home (we were a military family, and fire inspections were common in military housing), my Mom told the firemen about my nightmares. They left her the message to assure me that our house was free of fire hazards, and had all of the appropriate fire safety items, such as working smoke detectors. They left me a fire safety coloring book, pencil, and stickers.

As nice as it was for the fire fighters to reassure me like that, I actually found the most comfort in the way my Dad handled my fears and nightmares. When I would wake up terrified from a nightmare, I would go to my parents' room and wake them up to tell them. My Dad would sit up and take the time to pray with me. He would pray that God would remove my fear, watch over me while I slept, and keep our home safe. He would add a special request that God would remove the bad dreams from me. I am so grateful for the love and prayers of my Dad. He taught me exactly what I need to do each and every time I am afraid---PRAY!

I shared the story of my experience and my Dad's prayers with Jersey #1, when she started having these nightmares. I prayed with her, for her fears to be calmed and her dreams to be sweet.

She shared with me that she has been praying on her own as well.

I also reminded her of the evacuation plan for our home. We have gone over the details in the past, but it was time to refresh the lesson. I showed the older kids how the bars release from the bedroom windows. We talked about exiting the home safely, and where to meet up once we are outside.

Jersey #1 shared with me that she has been really upset by the thought of losing all her stuff in a fire. Ah, yes. That is a tough lesson. Our materialistic possessions seem so important. But they are just things. What matters most is our relationships with others. We can buy new stuff. We can't replace the members of our family.

The fire nightmares have provided an opportunity to talk with the kids about our needs versus our wants, about materialism, and about what is most important. We should not be focusing on our stuff. We should be focusing on our loved ones. The only things we can take to heaven with us, are our friends and family....IF we share with them the good news about our faith, and they also acknowledge Jesus as their Savior, and accept His gift of eternal life!

Dental Work

When I went for my routine dental cleaning nearly a year ago, my dentist gently suggested I was old. Well, he actually said that the fillings in my teeth were old. He tried to say it nicely. He said, "You know, those fillings have really held up for a LONG time. They don't usually last that long. They are usually only good for about 15-20 years."

Gee, thanks.

Considering that majority of the fillings in my mouth were originally placed around the time I was 5-12 years old, I suppose I can admit that they might be past their prime.

The dentist went on to explain how cavities will form around the old fillings. He also proudly shared the improvements in the dental technology since I was a kid.

What he didn't share was how much easier it was to get fillings as a kid. As an adult, I am finding the process to be rather painful when the numbing medicine wears off. My dentist is has a reputation for being gentle, and helping his clients to relax during their dental visits. I am impressed by the way he can apply the numbing medicine without causing any pain....not even a pinch. He is certainly good at his trade.

It is the recovery that I find to be so painful. I feel as though someone has jogged on my mouth. My jaw is sore. My gums are sore. And my body feels exhausted. I am not sure what is causing this degree of pain and discomfort.

We are addressing one quadrant of my mouth at a time. I've been twice now. Both times have been followed up with me taking Tylenol for the pain and a nap for the weakness. I just don't recall feeling that way when I had dental work as a kid.

Maybe the dentist is right. I might be getting old.

Waiting

I am really not good at waiting. It is a running joke with my friends at church, because every lesson about waiting on God's timing is so painful to me. I am a planner. I am a do-er. I can see how decisions play out many steps in advance. (I joke that I can see around corners). I set goals, and define the path to take to achieve them, with ease. I can make tough decisions and stand through the consequences of those decisions. I like to be busy. I like to keep moving forward. I do not like to wait.

Right now, I am being forced to wait.

I am in the midst of waiting through the approximate 6 months time lapse from Jersey #2's diagnosis until the open-heart surgery treatment. I am waiting to hear if my husband will have a job with the program he has been working on. I am waiting to hear if his company will have work for him for the rest of the week, while they try to get the contract for that program continued. I am waiting to see if he has to start using up his leave. I am waiting to know if he will need to find a new job. I am waiting to know what our medical benefits status will be by the time Jersey #2 is scheduled to see her cardiologist.....not to mention what the status will be at the time of surgery. I am waiting to see how many paychecks will continue to post into our bank account.

There is so much going on in our life right now that is not well defined. It is very difficult to plan for tomorrow, much less the future.

I find myself in unfamiliar territory. Hardships like these have struck before. They are not uncommon to us. What is uncommon is the level of calm. I am not basking in stress. I have peace.

I am not able to plan my way out of this. It is in God's hands, not my hands. I can only take each day as it comes. A friend reminded me that God provided food for the Israelite's every day of their journey out of Egypt.....but he only provided the manna one day at a time (with double for the Sabbath). They could not collect it up and store it during the week. He provided every bit that they needed, in the time that they needed it.

I am taking 1 day at a time. I can only collect the manna for today.

Job Stress

Five days ago, my husband called home from work in the mid morning and asked if I was able to talk for a minute. That was a clue that something was very wrong. I said yes and made my way to a quiet room to sit down and focus on the news he had to tell me.

He was calling to inform me that as of close of business that day, he was out of a job.

I stopped breathing at first, but I did not faint.

For crying out loud, he has only been on this particular job for a year and a half. He faced a job lay-off 3 years ago, and worked for a start-up that tanked in between that. He realized the need to find a stable job with strong medical benefits, as our daughter's health is a priority. We thought he was in a "safe" job right now. Apparently not.

I decided to work on breathing while he explained the situation.

The company that he is currently employed with, S-company, has been waiting on funding for the program he is working on. The money ran out and the new funding has not yet arrived. S-company thought they could just front the money and continue work. They assured the employees on this particular program that they would find them other work activities, if this program ended. They did not expect to learn that there was a major error in the management of the program and its funds, which created a crisis and an immediate halt to the work.

That halt was taking effect at the close of the business day.

Unfortunately, the turn of events occurred so suddenly, that S-company did not have the resources to reassign the effected employees, as was initially offered. Instead, they asked the employees to take a couple days of leave to allow time to sort out the details. It has been hinted that those couple days might turn into a couple weeks.

The Referee has been saving his leave to take when Jersey #2 has her heart surgery.

During the meeting, the employees were encouraged to take their leave or furlough. An email that circulated shortly after the meeting, gave a few more options. One option was to be reassigned. So, The Referee approached his boss and asked if reassignment was really an option. His boss started to explain how it is not really an option right now.....but the phone rang and interrupted him. On the other line of the phone was a bigger boss who wanted a database created to track the details of what went wrong on this program. The Referee was just the man for the job. So, he was immediately offered the task of creating a database. He was given 3 working days to complete the work.

That work carries him through the business day today.

I do not know what news today will bring. There are many unknowns.

I do know that my God is the same, no matter what challenges we face. His Word is the truth no matter what is going on in the world. His promises are the same, no matter what stress I endure. God is in control, so there is no reason for me to be afraid. He holds us in the palm of his hand. He will supply all our needs.

3-Years Old

Jersey #4 is 3-years old today!

Birthdays are very exciting days in our home. The children love the cake, presents, balloons, and extra-special attention. I love celebrating their lives. This season of motherhood is the greatest adventure, and I enjoy marking each milestone along the way.

I am really enjoying this particular child entering the preschooler stage. She was such a challenging, high maintenance infant and toddler. Most of the challenge came from her extremely unfriendly personality, and demanding clinginess. The closer she came to age 3, the sweeter and friendlier she bloomed.

Right now, she is absolutely delightful.

Food & Finances Friday--Doll Cake (#2)

I made a doll cake for Jersey #4's birthday. I attempted a Dora cake, because she picked a Dora the Explora theme this year. I am not so sure that my cake looks like Dora is wearing a dress. I think it looks more like Dora is jumping out of a cake.

The cake is a triple chocolate cake. I'm sure that will be yummy. Jersey #4 picked it out. She enjoys chocolate like her Mama.

I can't wait for Jersey #4 to wake up and see it, because I know that she will be excited. She won't care if the cake dress looks realistic or not. She is just excited about her birthday.

I still can't believe she is turning 3.

Pictures of 3-year-olds

Later this week, Jersey #4 is going to turn 3 years old. I really can't seem to wrap my mind around it. I know it is common for parents to always comment that children grow up way too quickly. It is certainly true. For me, I am stunned by the way my kids grow up too quickly in spite of being younger siblings. I would think that having a handful of kids would somehow reduce the shock of the passing of time, or keep me too busy to consider it, or something. But no, my children ALL seem to be growing up way too quickly, no matter where they land in the birth order.

For the 4th time (so far), I get to experience the disbelief that my child has passed through the infant months, tumbled through the toddler years, and now enters into the land of preschoolers.

Today, I decided to take a peek at pictures of each of my kids as they were turning 3 years old.

Jersey #1 was still a big fan of Elmo....


Jersey #2 was known for her pigtails....

Jersey #3 was our little cowboy....

And Jersey #4 is very pleased to stake claim of her sister's favorite skirt outfit (which has been reluctantly outgrown and handed down)....along with her little brother's sippy cup (but he is asleep right now and can't protest).....I better keep my guard up with this 3-year old in town

Socks

I am so proud of myself for another solution I recently brainstormed. I tackled the sock basket.

Let me explain that we have a round laundry basket that sits on the floor of the master bedroom, and holds socks. The socks are not paired or folded, but they are clean. I tend to prefer folding laundry on my bed, but I tend to just toss the socks into the basket. I always plan to take the time to fold up all the socks and put them away......later.

That basket has been sitting full for well over a year.

It dawned on me the other day, that some of the socks in that basket are probably too small for any of our children to wear anymore. Considering how quickly Jersey #5 has grown, he is nearly in the same size socks as Jersey #4, and they do not trail their older siblings by far.

As kids get older, sock sizes become more broad, so many of our kids will be in the same size at the same time. In some ways, that really should make our sock situation simpler. At first, I thought maybe I should just buy all the same kind of sock for all of the kids to share. Then, I realized that would not go over very well, because each of the older children has a preference for the type of sock they like to wear. No matter how big the sock basket becomes, they tend to search for specific socks.

And, that is when the sock brainstorm hit me! I decided to purchase a couple packs of socks for each person in our family, choosing specific socks to match their style, making sure each was different enough to identify easily. This way, as we are folding laundry, we can toss the socks onto the pile of the person who they belong to, and there will be no question of whose socks are whose. The Referee, and our children have no problems identifying Mommy's socks and Daddy's socks. So, I just need a sock style for each child, and we can all identify all of the socks. There will be no need to keep a sock basket anymore. The kids are old enough to wear out their socks before they outgrow them, eliminating much of the hand-me-down clutter as well.

I am so proud of myself for this simple organization, that I am almost giddy with excitement!

To stick within our budgeting goals, I decided that new socks will be the primary gift in the Easter baskets this year (along with candy, of course). So, I will officially eliminate the sock basket and all its contents next month.

I went online to shop and compare sock styles and prices. I discovered that I can order socks for myself, The Referee, Jersey #1, and Jersey #3 from Hanes. That will make it easy to keep an eye out for sales, discounts, and free shipping. I like Bobby socks or thin crew socks. The Referee likes crew socks, with extra padding on the bottom of the foot. Jersey #1 likes thin ankle socks (she really prefers no socks at all, but I make her wear them to avoid blisters, so the thinnest, shortest socks are the best compromise). Jersey #3 likes crew socks. He really prefers the quickest easiest sock he can locate, and will even wear his sisters' socks if they are on top of the basket. (This has lead to one of the reasons as to why I am not just buying everyone the same sock.....because Jersey #3 stains and dirties his socks and his sisters do not want to wear any socks that he has previously worn, even when washed).

I suspect that I will be able to buy the boys the same socks in the future, unless one develops a strong preference. For my toddlers, I really like those turn cuff socks that have the non-skid rubber grippers at the bottom. Different stores sell them, but I tend to buy from Old Navy because they go all the way up to size 5T, along with a larger assortment of colors. I bought a boy color assortment for Jersey #5, and a girl color assortment for Jersey #4. These were the style of sock that I used for all of the kids when they were younger. My sock basket problem didn't actually begin until the kids started growing out of the 5T non-skid sock size, and my sock buying became more random.

Jersey #2 is in a league of her own. This is true for many things, not just socks. I actually have to get her socks from a completely different place than the 2 stores mentioned already, because neither sells the style of sock she likes. Jersey #2 loves bright, flashy, colorful socks with a variety of patterns, ribbons, and beads. She does not care if her socks match. She likes the crew length sock, but she pulls it taut up her leg to the point where it almost resembles a tube or knee-length sock. She truly has her own style! When I asked her what kind of sock she liked best, she pointed to the pair she was wearing that had the ribbon sewn around the upper rim. Hmm, well, since those are hand-made, I am going to have to do a little hunting for her socks. I found a few sites online that had plenty of designs that will fit her style. There are even sites where I can buy a pack of 3 single socks that do not match! I am going to ask around amongst the talented folks I know to see who makes the bobby socks trimmed with lace or beads. I know my sisters have dabbled in those before, and I am sure that someone in our homeschool group probably makes them. I'll pick her up a few crazy print socks from one of the online stores too. Oh the adventures this child takes me on...

My goal is to streamline as much of our daily life as I possibly can to help our household run smoothly and efficiently, and leave more time for play. I am hoping that the elimination of the sock basket is a small step toward great efficiency in my future.

Family Dinners

I made a radical change to our dining room. I removed our table and replaced it with a long, folding table and 7 metal folding chairs.

I like our old dining table, so I moved it into the school room for homeschooling.

Our old dining table was not big enough to comfortably seat a family of 7. From the time that Jersey #5 outgrew the high chair, we have been eating dinner with the children at the table, and The Referee and I in the living room. I have never liked that arrangement. I want to eat dinner together, as a family.

Eating at the table, together as a family has always been a dream for me. My family of origin used to eat together at the dining room table, as often as possible. I enjoyed our meals and conversations together.

The Referee remembers that his family of origin ate dinner in the living room, in front of the television.

Through the years of him working long hours, there has not been much opportunity to eat dinner together as a family. Our evenings are often packed with activities too, so dinner couldn't wait until later in the evening. Around the time that his schedule mellowed, our family outgrew the size of our table.

I decided to remedy that situation by swapping our dining room table out for the fold-up table that is normally stored until needed for parties. The kids were eager to help me and thrilled to assign themselves to a specific seat. In the picture above, they are having lunch with a friend, but their usual seating involves kids along the sides and Mom & Dad at each end of the table, with Dad at the head of the table, and Mom next to Jersey #5's booster seat.

It turns out, we all really like eating together as a family. The look of the table is not that important, it seems. The Referee has enjoyed our meals together so much, that he now makes a point to get home on time to be able to eat together before our evening activities. I like our meals together so much, that I make a point to get dinner prepared in a timely fashion so that we can eat together before our evening activities. The older kids like our meals together so much that they offer to help set the table.

Sitting at the table, eating dinner together as a family.....its not just a treat at restaurants anymore!

The BEST Disruption

This past weekend I enjoyed the BEST disruption to my regular life routine. Starting at lunchtime on Friday, nothing was the same.

And I loved every minute of it!

The Referee worked extra hours earlier in the week, so he could arrive home by lunchtime Friday. He took over caring for our kids from that point.

I left the house and went to our church for an all night ladies scrapbooking event. We jokingly called it a "Scrap-over." We planned pizza for dinner, and each brought items for the meal. We had not done such an event for an entire year, and that is exactly how long it has been since I last had the chance to scrapbook.

I was so excited for this opportunity, that I arrived early just to set up, organize my stuff, and get started. I knew that as soon as the other ladies arrived at dinner time, that I would be chatting and laughing, so my productivity on my scrapbook album would decrease. As the evening went on, only 4 ladies remained all night. It was fun.

I really enjoy getting together for events like this, because I really get to know the ladies at our church on a different level. The more we are around each other, the more we get to know each other, and the more I like them. We laugh together. I love to laugh.

These are the same ladies who pray for me during tough times, and let me cry on their shoulder any time. But, there is something special about getting the chance to have fun and laugh with them.

I broke down and took a 2-hour nap around 5:30am. I am not a night owl or an all-nighter normally.

I had to leave shortly after lunchtime on Saturday, to take my older girls to an activity. After that, I returned home. I thought I would take a little nap, so I climbed into bed at 4pm.

My nap turned into an all-nighter also.

I am a little surprised that my husband and children did not wake me up at all in the evening or night. They told me later that they did come into the room to check on me frequently, but that I was sleeping so soundly they decided to let me be. Jersey #3 apparently climbed over my legs to get to his dresser to put on PJs, but that didn't wake me. The Referee even made dinner, thinking I would surely wake from hunger. Jersey #2 climbed into bed next to me at some point, but that did not wake me either.

I woke up at 7am Sunday morning.

It turns out that I followed up 24 hours of scrapbooking fun with 15 hours of sleep!

Yep, that is certainly different than the way my weekends usually go.

It was the greatest schedule disruption I have ever experienced. I feel so different. I am rested. I am refreshed. I do not feel the same level of stress about life. I am relaxed. I smile more. I laugh more. (And somehow I actually want to sleep more).

I am so impressed with my husband. I was pleased he was willing to take care of the kids for 1 night. I never expected him to be willing to take care of the kids for 2 nights. He enjoyed this time with the kids. They had a blast with their Daddy. That just makes the whole weekend that much sweeter.

Food & Finances Friday--Debt Snowball

OUR DEBT SNOWBALL IS GROWING!!!

A debt snowball is the collection of "extra" money from our budget that we can apply toward paying off debt. I believe the term was created by Dave Ramsey, and is part of his Baby Steps plan for achieving financial peace. Paying off debt is Baby Step 2 in his plan. That is the step we are on.

We have been gathering snowflakes of money together, in an attempt to pay down our debts for the past 8 months. We shredded our credit cards last July, and made the commitment to become debt free. It has been a slower process than I wanted. There were so many unexpected expenses along the way, that really thwarted our efforts. It took us a while to even recognize where our biggest budget problem (medical expenses) was in the first place. Even when we finally got our budget to a workable level, every extra penny we can find has been going into savings toward expenses for Jersey #2's upcoming heart surgery.

Just making the change to not acquiring new debt has already moved us in the right direction. Even paying just the minimum payments, the debt balance goes down. It just takes a really long time. Now that the new credit card laws are in effect, the statements we receive in the mail are telling exactly how many years (or decades) it will take us to pay off our accounts if we only pay the minimum payment each month. So, we are moving along the right path, one snowflake at a time.

Six weeks ago, The Referee took on a weekend job driving a tourist shuttle. He makes a nice commission for each driving run he does, plus any tips that may be given. He has worked hard every weekend, and some late evenings or early mornings during the week. We decided to put his tip money into savings and apply the commission checks right to our debt snowball, attacking the first credit card on our list.

The commission checks arrive once a month. I have had the joy of getting to write checks out twice now, to make extra payments to our credit card balance. Since The Referee worked every weekend in February, that commission check achieved snowball status, not just snowflake!

It was just the inspiration I needed to keep moving forward, up this challenging financial hill.

Outside play to cure a sinus infection

The kids and I traveled to visit Granny & PawPaw last weekend. The weather was nice, and at least 10 degrees warmer than at home. That gave the kids a lot of opportunity to get outdoors and play. It helps that PawPaw & Granny's land is a big playland for their grandbabies....

We spent hours outdoors in the fresh air and sunshine. It was such a nice treat after being indoors so much this winter. It did us all a world of good.

The person who seemed to benefit the most was Jersey #5. I jokingly call him my "mountain man," because he loves the outdoors so much that he would rather turn purple from the cold than to return inside. He was thrilled to be outside all day long. What I did not expect was how well his nose would run while outside. He ran and played.....and Granny & I followed along, periodically wiping his nose. I will spare the full details, but let's just say that he was able to clear a ton of snot that changed color over time. His nasal sinuses were able to empty out quite nicely.

So there it is, from the kid who is recently allergic to antibiotics.....cure a sinus infection by going outside to play!

After a full afternoon playing outside at Granny & PawPaw's house (and going through a half-box of Kleenex), Jersey #5 had the best night's sleep in well over a week. He woke up the next morning a completely new child. He was no longer grumpy and miserable. His nose ran clear. He was full of smiles again. I am so thankful to have my sweet little boy back.

...and I hope Granny & PawPaw know to expect us over to play the next time he gets a sinus infection!

Children are for Spoilin'

We had a friend come over to visit this week. She brought some ice cream and cones with her as a treat for the kids. She jokingly apologized for "poisoning" the kids with junk food.

I assured her that I did not mind a bit.

The game plan at our house is: kids are for spoilin' by everyone else.....and trainin' by parents.

I do not deny my children treats that other folks want to give them. These items are usually random and temporary, which is what makes them a "treat" in the first place. The fact that such treats usually contain sugar is added fun for the kids.

So, when the receptionist at the doctor's office asked if she could give the kids a heart lollipop last month, I said yes. She made a point to tell me that she always asks the parents first, in case they do not approve. I offered that some families may have allergy issues to deal with, so it is wise to ask first, but I do not object to treats for my kids.

I say the same thing to Nana, who always asks before giving the kids candy. That is a grandmother's privilege. It brings joy to the kids and grandparents both. I think it is fun. I am so thankful that our children's grandmothers are so loving and involved in their lives. I would not risk that blessing in the name of healthy eating.

I serve healthy meals at home. I teach and train my kids about nutrition, hygiene, and making good choices for our health. That is my job as a parent.

I do not think it is necessary to limit random sweet treats from grandparents, friends, or receptionists and clerks at businesses we frequent. I personally love seeing other people enjoy my children to the point that they want to give them a treat. Children should be enjoyed.

My only boundary is in the first few months of infancy. Our children begin their lives exclusively on breastmilk, until their digestive systems have time to develop completely (which is around age 2-3 months). Introducing solids before 2-3 months of age can lead to bleeding and ulcers in an undeveloped digested system. I initially introduce solids slowly, around 4 months old (depending on the child's signs of readiness), along with careful observation as to how their bodies are managing.

Granny (my Mom) loves to feed babies pudding. She respectfully waits until I give the go-ahead before she feeds our children anything as babies. As soon as I am confident that they are handling solid foods without pain or problems, we turn Granny loose!

Granny loves to watch the facial expressions of her grandbabies when she is feeding them. That seems to be a universal enjoyment. Many older adults seem to take pleasure in the smiles and messy faces that result from giving the kids sweet treats.

It seems to me that a little sand from the sandbox, a little sugar, and healthy meals from Mom make a well-rounded nutritional menu for childhood.

Futon

I am happy to report that we have finally gotten rid of our old couch...

This couch may look harmless enough, but it has been growing more vicious by the day. After 7+ years of using this couch in our living room, it has worn out its welcome. It eats tiny particles, such as pacifiers and Barbie shoes. It hides the remote to the television, and steals children's socks. It drops crumbs, toys, and trash onto the floor below, at the very moment I finish vacuuming the carpet.

That's not all.

Its absolute worst behavior started a few months ago. As the frame to this couch has become misshapen with time and wear, it has been attempting to eat the children's feet and ankles. I have had to race to the aid of my toddlers and prescholers, who have gotten a leg caught under the cushions. The frequency that this couch pokes us in the back when we attempt to sit down appears to be aligned with the depth that it can engulf the foot, and ankle, and lower leg of a small child.

It was time to get rid of the couch. But, the budget was not prepared to purchase a new couch. I browsed Craig's List off and on, and convinced myself to just hold out a little longer.

Then, a lady in our homeschool co-op sent out an email about a variety of items that her neighbor was getting rid of. I was on the computer at the time the email arrived, so I was able to reply immediately. One of the items was a black futon.

This black futon...

I happily hauled our old couch out to the curb with a sign informing our neighbors that it was free for the taking. I cleaned up the living room and anxiously awaited my husband's arrival, after he went out to pick up the used, but new-t0-us futon.

At first, we laughed about our going "backwards" by replacing our couch with a futon. I had a futon in my college apartment, and we replaced it with the couch, shortly after Jersey #1 was born.

It did not take me long to become the biggest fan of the a futon. It is not just for college anymore! I've decided that a futon is an excellent seating device for a family with young children. Barbie shoes and matchbox cars cannot fall in the cushion cracks, because there are no cushion cracks! Little feet and ankles cannot get stuck, because the cushion is one intact piece. It is so much easier to clean under and around a futon, keeping snacks, toys, and socks under control. Plus, it can lay down into a bed for sleepovers or nights when kids are sick and we convert the living room into an infirmary.

I can't believe I have missed this amazing family tool for so many years! I am starting to think that instead of saving up for a sectional sofa for more seating, I should just be on the look out for 2 or 3 futons for the living room! Real couches and young children just have not been a good match for me. A futon.....now that is practical seating for MY lifestyle!

March

Today is March 1st.

AAAAHHHHH!

Normally, I love to flip the wall calendar in the kitchen over to the new month. I like the fresh start.

Today, I flipped the calendar over to the month of March, and I was immediately reminded of Jersey #2's cardiology check-up scheduled on the 30th. It's here. The time to start dealing with the heart surgery details is here.

I have been hiding throughout January and February. I can't hide any longer, because that appointment is scheduled, that date is marked in ink on the calendar, and that day is approaching...this month.

That is the day when we have to face her cardiologist and listen to the status of our daughter's weakening health. That is the day when we have to hear all of the statistics about what can go wrong.

That is the day when the surgery scheduling process gets started.

I just flipped the calendar over to the month that begins the whirlwind that our life is about to become.

AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!