Down for the Count

I am almost semi-functional again.

Almost.

A terrible sinus infection came out of the blue and knocked me off my feet. I was down for the count for 3 days. It was wild. And crazy. And restful?

It was restful because I was in bed, heavily medicated to manage the pain. I have had a few sinus infections in my life. But, I have not faced sinus pain like that before. There were points when I wondered if I was really dealing with a sinus infection, or a dental emergency. Ouch!

I did get a lot of sleep all weekend.

I went to the doctor yesterday and got a prescription for an antibiotic. Two doses later, and I am noticing a big improvement already. I am out of bed, for one thing. My nose is running again, which is another good thing.

The lesson I learned from this experience is that when a head cold seems like it suddenly went away quickly and easily....it really did not. Here I thought I was just healthier. It turns out everything stopped flowing because it was settling up in my sinus cavity. Building a cement foundation. And when that foundation was set, it was quite a fortress to attack.

I ignored the early warning signs: feeling tired and run down, and pain in my upper jaw teeth. I took Tylenol for my headache, and went about my days. Maybe if I had intervened with some home treatments earlier, I could have stopped the full-blown war in my face.

I went from feeling achy and run down one morning, to in-bed and non-functional by late afternoon....along with intense face pain and fever. Ugh. Thankfully, there were no activities scheduled for the weekend. The Referee worked on his car. The kids ran wild, but he was there to supervise them and feed them regularly. So, my family let me sleep.

Sleep helped. Pain medication helped. Drinking lots of fluids helped. Shower steam helped. But, this time around, antibiotics are my favorite resource right now. I was just not bouncing back on my own.

Next time, I think I will take that common cold a little more seriously.

Jersey #3

Jersey #3 received his flag football jersey this week.

I squealed with delight when he pulled it out of the box. Not only is he just adorable as can be in a football jersey, but check out his JERSEY NUMBER....

My little Jersey #3.

It is so awesome the way that the Upward Sports program fits the uniforms to my blog names like that!

Tough Morning at the Dentist

Jersey #3 needed some dental work one morning last week. 3/4 of his mouth was numb in this picture, due to the locations of the cavities. They were small cavities, on his groovy teeth, so the procedure to fill them was expected to be pretty simple.

WRONG!

It turns out that all of my worry and concern over Jersey #4 needing dental work last month was placed on the wrong child. She did great, so I had worried for nothing. Jersey #3, on the other hand, had a very rough time, when I expected him to be cooperative.

I don't know what I was thinking. Cooperative? Jersey #3?

Everything started out well. I prepped him the evening before. We talked about brushing teeth, and sugar bugs, and how the dentist has to fix our teeth if the sugar bugs damage them. I explained how he was not to eat or drink in the morning, and how I would be waking him up early to go to the dentist. Then, I explained that he would get his choice of a treat afterward. He was most concerned about when he would get to eat again, so we covered that topic well. He seemed almost excited about the adventure.

Jersey #3 was very cooperative to not eat or drink, and got himself dressed to go to the dentist. He was in a good mood that morning, and went through the motions of playing in the waiting room, getting his vital signs checked, and taking the sleepy medicine. He happily watched a movie while the meds kicked in. He was pretty loopy by the time it was time to go to the big chair. I had to guide him down the hall so that he did not crash into the walls.

The trouble began when he did not like the mask that had the laughing gas. He is a mouth-breather also, so he wasn't actually breathing the gas. That makes a huge difference. That mouth-breathing is bad for tooth decay too, because the mouth stays dried out all the time. Still, he listened to the hygienist go over everything, and let her put the numbing gel in his mouth. He did well when the dentist arrived and numbed him. He was already showing signs of being wiggly, and not as relaxed, which I am guessing is because he was not breathing the gas as he should.

And then everything fell apart when it was time to start and the dentist held his mouth open with that rubber tool. Yep, that was it for Jersey #3. He could not stand that sensation at all. It did not matter what the dentist was doing at the tooth level, that tool holding his mouth open was the enemy. He managed to wiggle and thrust his tongue to get the tool out on numerous occasions...to which the dentist caught it in mid-air with amazing reflexes. Unfortunately, the tool was necessary in order for his mouth to be open, because he was closing it with every intervention, including painting the sealant on.

Since his reaction was to yell "ouch," the dentist actually stopped at first. He explained to me that he really did not think that Jersey #3 was feeling any pain, but he went ahead and numbed him more anyway. Those cavities were so shallow, that some kids would be able to endure the filling without numbing, so Jersey #3 really should not have been feeling anything. Regardless of the standard logic, for a physically sensitive kid, any dental sensation is going to be a problem.

After the 2nd numbing, the dentist attempted more work, only to be met with more struggle. The dentist was spending more time repositioning the tools than he was spending fixing the teeth, because Jersey #3 was engaging in wiggle battle. At this point, the dentist asked if he could restrain him on a papoose board, because he could not leave the tooth half-done as it was. I agreed, and explained to Jersey #3 what was going to happen.

Much to my surprise, Jersey #3 fully cooperated laying on the papoose board, and having his arms wrapped to his body. He actually relaxed, as if he was an infant being swaddled.

He still was not able to handle the sensations of the tools in his mouth. He clenched and screamed and wiggled. It was impressive. A second hygienist had to be brought in to hold his head still, and I had to help hold his legs still. He is a strong little fella. I was confident he was not in pain, because of the way his struggles ensued. He would immediately calm down as soon as all instruments were out of his mouth....and the dentist was real good about backing off in between working on his teeth, to give him a break. But, as soon as any instrument...even the paintbrush or the UV light (which did not even touch his teeth)...was put in his mouth, he had a screaming fit. Ironically, he was the most calm for the drilling part. I am guessing the sound captured his attention a bit.

I tried to calm him with my voice, and by patting his leg. I would only get minor responses from him. I was no match for the battle over having his mouth held open with a rubber tool.

When all 3 of the cavities were filled, the dentist removed the tools, and unstrapped the restraints immediately. Jersey #3 sat right up, put his arms out to me, and I held him in my lap. He was still crying a bit, and took a few minutes to calm down.....bringing back many memories from his infancy. The dentist was so very apologetic about the restraints. He assured me that he felt it was much better than having to place such shallow fillings in the hospital, under general anesthesia. I totally agreed. No one wants to see their child upset at the dentist, but the lesser intervention was the best method. I tried to reassure the dentist that it was the best choice.

The dental staff were completely shocked by Jersey #3's behavior. I was not. He has always been a high maintenance child. His sensitivities are improving, but clearly there are some stresses that are just going to be challenging, even at age 5. Hopefully, more maturity and understanding will take place before he needs any more dental work.

I praised and encouraged Jersey #3, and he perked right up. He talked cheerfully with the hygienist, and took great interest in the toys he got to pick out for being so brave. He did not like the sensation of having numb cheeks. Thankfully, he napped on the ride home. He was happy to go pick out a Slurpee to drink.

I do not think that this experience is going to cause much trauma over going to the dentist, but time will tell. Jersey #3 seemed fine with the staff and the place on our way out. He seems fine talking about it. He maintains that he yelled because it hurt, and that is that. He simply states that he did not like having his mouth held open like that. He almost shrugs the whole thing off, as if it is justified. His attitude is that he didn't like it, so he screamed, so the dentist wrapped his arms, he screamed more because he didn't like it, and then he was done. He cheerfully agreed to my conclusion that he needs to keep learning how to brush his teeth better, so that he doesn't get anymore sugar bugs damaging his teeth.

It will be interesting to see how he reacts to returning for routine cleaning in a couple months. I am hoping he doesn't need any more fillings for a while. I am not confident that his sensitivities will improve very quickly.

I am going to try a electric toothbrush for him though. I wonder if that sensation will help relax his sensitive response.

This tough morning at the dentist was a big reminder for me to not take this child for granted. I have always said he is the child who humbled me. It appears I've still got quite a bit more growth to endure with him.

Pacifiers

Jersey #5 is unexpectedly pacifier-free now.

It is the end of an era. It happened so quickly, that I am still trying to process it. I'm sure it is a good thing in the end. I'm just shocked is all. The process of weaning a child can be adventurous....much like any of us trying to give up a habit. I suppose I was more braced for the adventure, and not expecting a peaceful end like this. I should know better by now, because Jersey #5 really is that mellow of a kid.

The concept started when I was taking the kids to swim lessons every day for 2 weeks. I did not want to lose a bunch of pacifiers around the pool, so I started asking Jersey #5 to give it to me before we left the house. I would tuck it into the diaper bag and not return it until he asked for it in the car on the ride home. He was so excited about going swimming, that he did not care. That system worked well. We did not leave a single pacifier at the pool that way. What I did not expect was the days he didn't bother to even ask for his "fire" on the ride home.

I've noticed over the past few weeks that he has been handing them to me quite a bit, especially when he wanted to eat a snack, or go outside. I started tucking them all into a drawer, utilizing the "out of sight, out of mind" idea. His dependency was decreasing, but I was not in any hurry to wean him off the pacifier.

I like pacifiers. They are awesome for helping a child soothe. They have served me well with most of my kids. Pacifiers helped Jersey #2 comfort through medical procedures when she was an infant. Pacifiers helped us teach Jersey #3 some soothing skills. Pacifiers make bedtime and nap time, and church service easier. I have no experience with thumb-sucking children, but I've always assumed weaning from a pacifier must be easier than weaning off the thumb (because we just can't extinguish a thumb like we can the pacifier).

Then all of a sudden the wheels started turning. I was chatting with a friend who mentioned she was weaning her child off the pacifier, using the method of cutting a piece off the tip to make it less desirable. I've used that method before too, so I chatted with her about it. Then, I started to recall the memories of each of my kids and how their pacifier addictions and weaning processes were so different. Ah, Memories!

Jersey #1

I originally thought Jersey #1 was one of the most pacifier addicted children around. When she wasn't eating, she was sucking a pacifier. She did not use Mom as a pacifier, because she did not like to breastfeed after she was full. She would take the pacifier out of her mouth to talk, but never let it out of her grasp. She often had one in her mouth, and one in her hand. She was a very content child, and her verbal skills developed very early. So, the pacifier didn't seem to be a problem. When I was a newer Mom, I was not as confident about waiting for a child to show signs of readiness for milestones...I tried to select my own time table for their development. I randomly decided that I needed to wean her from the pacifier by age 2. So the month she was turning 2, I gathered up all of her pacifiers and stored them out of sight. Then, I cut the tip off one and left it out for her. When she went to use that pacifier, she tried it, made a funny facial expression, and then took it out of her mouth and studied it. She informed me it was broken. Her communication skills were fantastic, so I told her that if her pacifier was broken, then she needed to go throw it into the garbage. She did. I praised her. Later that day, when she asked for it, I reminded her that it was broken so she had to throw it in the garbage. She asked about it over the course of two days, and that was it. I thought if I could wean Jersey #1, then I could wean anyone!

Of course, Jersey #2 challenged my prideful skills.

Jersey #2 was the complete opposite of her sister. She had no interest in a pacifier at all...originally. She was a very easy newborn. She did not start taking a pacifier until she was placed on oxygen for her heart condition, at 2 months old. She fought the oxygen stream, so we coaxed her to breathe it by plugging her mouth with a pacifier. It worked! It worked so well that she used a pacifier heartily to endure her heart surgery testing and recovery experience. She then used a pacifier to endure the pain of recovery. It wasn't long before she used a pacifier completely out of forced habit. I thought that if she wasn't that interested to begin with, then weaning would be easier. Wrong! I tried the exact same method of trimming off the tip of the pacifier, just like I had done with Jersey #1. I did it at the same arbitrary age of the month she was turning 2. Jersey #2 gave me a similar, but much less verbal reaction over the broken pacifier. Only, instead of throwing it away, she demanded a new one. I still remember that moment where she stood next to the trash can, holding the broken pacifier, refusing to toss it until she had a new one. She knew that there was more than 1 pacifier in the world.

In an instant, I decided to try the "cold turkey" approach. I took the pacifier and showed her it was broken, then I threw it in the trash. When she asked for a new one, I told her that the pacifier was all gone. I re-explained that it was broken and we had to throw it away. Jersey #2 was devastated. She was so upset that I could not carry out the cold turkey approach, knowing I was creating such emotional pain in my child. She put her fingers into her mouth and cried. I picked her up to comfort her a while, then I went to the cabinet and got her another pacifier. I decided right then that she was not ready, and I needed to wait until she was ready to throw it away on her own. I just did not have the ability to force it cold turkey. That goes against my nature.

Jersey #2 threw away her pacifier on her 3rd birthday. She received a brand new pink princess booster seat as a birthday present. She was so excited about that car seat. As we were getting ready for church that next morning, I told her that her new booster seat was for "Big Girls" only. She could move from her "baby" car seat into her "Big Girl" car seat when she was ready to throw away her pacifier. She looked at that pretty pink seat. She looked at her pacifier. She looked at that pretty pink seat. And, then she ran to the trash can and threw that pacifier away with great determination. She climbed into her new seat in the van, and smiled from ear to ear all the way to church. We praised her all day for being a big girl. She asked about her pacifier at bedtime, and I re-explained the choice she made. That was enough for her. It was her choice, so she was content to live with it.

Jersey #3

Jersey #3 was another child who did not take a pacifier naturally. We chose to instill the trait in him out of desperation over his lack of soothing skills. He would have used Mom as a pacifier 24 hours a day, if I could have handled that. Folks who know him remember how addicted he was to his pacifier, because he used it to help soothe himself through social situations. At home, he gradually decreased his dependency. By this point in my mothering journey, I quit worrying about what the parenting recommendations or peer/family recommendations were. I started trusting my own mothering intuition with my kids. So, instead of assigning a random deadline for his pacifier, I kept an eye out for signs of his personal readiness.

Jersey #3 was 2 1/2 when he weaned from the pacifier. It started when I observed that he was leaving them laying around as he became distracted playing. We started gathering them up and storing them out of sight, until he asked for them. Out of sight, out of mind was a smooth approach. His dependency waned quickly that way. Next, I stopped taking them with us on outings. For some reason, it seemed easier to distract him and re-direct him when we were away from the house. When I felt confident that he no longer needed the pacifier, and felt good about my redirection methods, we halted them cold turkey. It took about 2 days of answering that the pacifiers were "all gone," each time he asked, and that was it. He did ask us where is baby sister's pacifiers were, after we told him his were gone. We were able to say hers were gone too.

Jersey #4

Jersey #4 was an infant who did not desire a pacifier much either. Thankfully, she did not have any medical or developmental issues to inspire us to encourage it. As a result, I actually found it difficult to find a picture of her using a pacifier for this blog post. She used them on rare occasion for the first 6 months of life, mostly as she was falling asleep. Otherwise, she was without one. She was challenging as a baby...in ways that a pacifier would have alleviated...but we managed. I learned to just leave every outing when she started screaming, because she was not going to just take a pacifier and calm down. One afternoon, as the Referee was attempting to rock her to sleep, she repeatedly took the pacifier out of her mouth and threw it across the room. (That was her way of communicating that she did not want to nap at that time). By the 3rd time I picked up the pacifier from the floor, I suggested we just wean her and be rid of them. She threw them a lot. The only person who wanted them was her big brother, Jersey #3. We decided to wean both kids at the same time, by removing the pacifiers from sight. Jeresey #4 did not care one bit. She only used them to fall asleep anyway, and she had decided she didn't want to sleep on our terms. I am not sure that we can truly call it weaning, when she didn't really want the pacifier to begin with. We simply stopped offering them to her.

Jersey #5 loved the pacifier, much like Jersey #1. He had one in his mouth most of the time, except to eat.

Jersey #5 is such a quiet, mellow child. He wasn't demanding with his pacifiers, and he wasn't losing them all over the place, so I wasn't even thinking about weaning yet. Pacifiers were not a problem. After I started storing them away for swim lessons, he started handing them to me at random times. He would hand me his pacifier before he went outside, or before he climbed up to the table to eat. I started to keep them gathered up, out of sight, until he asked for them. That out of sight, out of mind approach seems so smooth, and really lets me gauge the level of pacifier dependence (based on how often, or at what times, a pacifier is requested).

I don't know if Jersey #5 was listening to our conversations about pacifier weaning, or if it was peer pressure, or if it was simply time for him. The same week of that conversation, we had toddler visitors to our house who were not using pacifiers. One of them went so far as to remove Jersey #5's pacifier and tell him it was "for baby." Jersey #5 eventually just gave me his pacifier so that she could not take it from him anymore. Over the next couple days, he hardly asked for it.

Then, last Thursday night, he came to our bed in the middle of the night, without his pacifier. He asked for his blanket, but he fell asleep without waiting for a pacifier to be found. He went that entire day until the late afternoon, without even mentioning a pacifier. By lunch time, I started rounding them up, if I saw any around the house, and hid them from the drawer where they were originally stored. I started telling the older kids that we were not going to mention them, and just see how long it takes him to even want one. I mentioned to The Referee that it looked like the weekend to wean (knowing it usually takes about 2 days of questions...and some whining in response...and potentially more frequent night time waking).

Of course, just when I think I know how a child will respond, my children humble me. Jersey #5 is clearly the most easy-going child in our family. His weaning from the pacifier was just as calm as his personality. He asked for his "fire" when he was overdo to nap late that afternoon. I told him the pacifiers were "all gone." I even showed him the empty part of the drawer where they used to be stored. He whined intermittently for 3 minutes, accepted a drink of milk instead, and fell asleep to The Referee rocking him. From the time he woke up from that nap, he did not ask for a pacifier the rest of the day or night. Instead, he shocked me even further by telling me when he was ready for bed. I thought he was joking. I went with it, as if we were playing. I told him to go climb into bed and I would tuck him in. As I put the blanket on him and told him goodnight, he pretended to snore. I giggled, and left the light on, thinking he would be back up in minutes when that fun wore off. To my shock, he fell asleep right away, and remained in bed for the rest of the night....without a pacifier! I had braced myself to comfort him through the night, expecting frequent waking and asking for a pacifier. Instead, we both slept through the night. It was amazing!

I realize I do not get to choose which path the kids will take, as their personalities are so very different. But, if I could, I would choose having my babies and toddlers use a pacifier to aid in soothing and comfort, for as long as they needed. In hindsight, I would choose to not pressure them to wean on my schedule. Then, I would choose them to wean as smoothly as Jersey #5--when they were clearly ready and no longer dependent.

While I am still dreaming, let's add in the easy bedtime routine and sleeping through the night in their own bed too....that was a fun twist to the pacifier weaning adventure! Ah, Memories!

Our Way of Life

I was sitting at the end of the table, admiring this view of studious children last week, when it dawned on me that our way of life is really changing. Some call it the end of an era. Others say we are embarking on a new season. Regardless of how we phrase it, I am certain that things are moving in a better direction. I keep predicting to The Referee that this next year looks like it could be one of our best yet. And, I am totally excited about the potential I see arriving.

Many changes are taking place, as the kids are growing older. Change can be difficult to adjust to. But, it can also be exciting. My emotions are quite up and down about some of it lately. On one hand, kids get easier to care for as they grow. They become more independent, so there is not as much physical demand on us parents. On the other hand, peer relationships start taking a bigger role and having influence on their interests and behaviors. The balancing act continues.

The major medical issues that have plagued our family in recent years, are resolving and becoming more manageable. Clearly, medical conditions will continue to influence our budget and our time. Doctor appointments and prescriptions are a steady way of life for some members of our family. Thankfully, the treatments are working well, allowing stability to surface once again.

Now that we have entered the school year....and now that we have 3 official school-aged children (plus 1 who insists she should be in school too), academic activities really dominate our week days. When my children were younger, we spent majority of our days attending play dates at the park and Mommy groups, or out running errands. Now, we gather around the table for arithmetic lessons, or pile on the couch to read.

As we make lifestyle changes with our fitness and finances, we are catching glimpses of a better life. It seems like we are on a better path in those areas too. Unfortunately, it is not a fast lane. We are getting closer to our goals, one step at a time.

Two themes keep popping up on blogs and in conversations with my friends, lately. One is the reminder that this season of parenting is so very short. It is amazing how difficult it can seem when we are in the beginning stages, sleep deprived from a newborn, or struggling to train a toddler or preschooler. Those stages race by quickly, and then they are gone. That is very evident to me right now, as my "baby" is rushing into age 2, and letting go of many baby traits....at the same time that I realize my oldest will be turning 9, which means HALF of her childhood has already passed. I'm trying to relax and enjoy the ride I am on, during this season of my life, but I admit it seems like this ride is going way too fast.

The second theme that strikes me lately is going to be my new life motto: Children have a way of humbling us. I am confident that just as soon as I think I have this motherhood role figured out, at least one of my kids will throw me for a loop, and knock me off my feet. There are many things we can learn from the experiences of other Moms. Some Moms really seem to have a good handle on the areas where I am weakest. But, one thing is for certain--every one of us struggles in different areas, at different time points. Do not be discouraged. That snapshot of someone else's life does not always represent the bigger picture.

I like to post the picture of the studious children, and tell the fun stories. Those are the memories I prefer to focus on. But, always know that behind every adorable photo of well behaved children, is the reality of laundry, dishes, muddy shoes, scraped up knees, tantrums, arguments, spilled drinks, and lost pieces to sports uniforms.

Hold on tight to those diaper bags and school backpacks, because the season of motherhood is an adventurous ride.

Running: Week 5

Week 5 of the Couch to 5K running program brought about two big realizations:

1) I am slow
2) I feel awesome!

I am hoping the first topic will fix itself with time and training.

So, I will just focus on the second topic. This week, I really felt like a runner during my workouts. It was so cool. In addition, I just felt good all week long, whether I was running that day or not. I felt good in my clothes, because they all fit (or sometimes hang loose). I even felt good out in public in my swimsuit. I engaged in more activities with the kids. Overall, I trusted the muscles in my body to do their job. I simply felt stronger.

I did not take a look at the Week 5 workout in advance of going to the park. I was surprised to hear the Podcast announcer mention I was on Week 5, workout 1. That immediately had me questioning, why he numbered the workouts. It turns out that week 5 had 3 different workouts...and the 3rd had me jogging for 20 minutes straight! Oh my!

After a 5 minute warm-up walk, the workouts looked like this:

Workout 1: 5 minutes jogging, followed by 3 minutes walking. (3 times)
Workout 2: 8 minutes jogging, followed by 5 minutes walking. (twice)
Workout 3: 20 minutes jogging

It was during workout 2 that I truly felt like a runner. It was also that workout that taught me that I was only jogging at the pace of a 16 minute mile...and the training program is for a 10 minute mile. So, I am not covering the full distance. I did not let that get me down. I looked back across the past 5 weeks and realized just how far I've come. I have increased strength and stamina more each week, so I expect my speed to pick up in time too. If not, I will have to make my own music selections and run longer to get further.

I started the Mountain Dew weaning program too. I've cut down my intake by 1/4. I noticed results immediately....the good results, not the headache results. Between the running program and cutting back on the soda pop calories, my weight continues to slowly drop. 9 pounds lost in the past 6 weeks. It is amazing the difference 9 pounds can make in my attitude!

I am actually needing to buy a smaller size now. Unfortunately, it is only a smaller bra size. That figures!

The Couch to 5K program is a 9 week program. I am already over half-way there. I am such a goal-oriented person, so this is very exciting for me!

Reading in bed

We encourage the kids to read books in bed, especially when they try to claim they are not tired at bedtime. I personally find it relaxing to read before falling asleep. Apparently, Jersey #1 feels the same way. I managed to get this picture of her the THIRD time in a week that we found her asleep in her bed, in the midst of reading.

The Referee likes to fall asleep to the television. That also works for Jersey #1. But, our night owl daughters (Jersey #2 and Jersey #4) find TV shows to be exciting enough to keep them up even later. So, I am trying to move everyone away from watching movies before bed, and reading instead.

I'm sure that there is some Mommy quote I should be saying here...something about television turning the brain to mush. I forget how that saying, from my childhood, goes.

I'll stick with reading is a great way to relax and wind down at the end of the day...not to mention all the learning that takes place when we delve into books. We will save "family movie night" as a once-a-week treat.

It was hard not to laugh at Jersey #4 when she came to me in tears the other night. From the story I gathered, Jersey #1 must have offered to read Jersey #4 a book about the character, Elmo. By the time Jersey #4 got her pajamas on and her teeth brushed, Jersey #1 was already asleep. This made Jersey #4 highly upset. She was certain she just needed to wake Jersey #1 up and make her read that story. (And I am sure she actually tried to wake her, before crying to me....but Jersey #1 can sleep through anything). To comfort her, I offered that she could ask Jersey #2 to read the story....or that I could read the story. Well, neither option was good enough. Jersey #4 decided she was just going to go and read the story herself! Considering how much she loves that story, I'm sure she has it memorized enough to imitate reading it to herself.

Seven

Jersey #2 is SEVEN!

The Referee and I stayed up late so that she would wake up to this on the morning of her birthday...

I will have to share my doll cake adventures in another post. For this post, we will just pretend that everything was picture perfect.

I am filled with joy that this lovely young lady has survived to reach her 7th birthday. Her open-heart surgery 3 months ago was such a success that she has been able to gain 3 pounds and grow into the next clothing size. Her coloring is good. Her activity level is great. She is moving in the direction of the life of a normal 7 year old. I find that....and her....to be amazing!

Happy Birthday Jersey #2!

Grocery Shopping

This is how I manage grocery shopping with 5 children in tow...

Special Treats!


Bribery. It works for me.

We do not eat at the junk food cafe every time we visit Sam's Club. That would be too expensive. Plus, if we did it frequently, it would lose its special status from rarity. I won't even expand on the (lack of) nutritional quality to the food.

But, on days like yesterday, it works. The fridge and cupboards were empty. We were long overdue grocery shopping. And, our schedule has been very busy. So, after enjoying a few hours walking around the zoo with our friends in the morning, I bribed the kids with lunch at the Sam's Club cafe, so that I could fit in the grocery shopping on the way home. (I do not present it as a special favor to Mom. I present it as a really fun idea.)

The idea was a hit! We went from the zoo to the store. We ate first. Then, we ran through the aisles and loaded up our cart. The kids were so excited about the treat of pizza and Coke, that they forgot to whine about how tired their legs were already, from walking around the zoo. Everyone cooperated well enough to get our groceries.

I only added 1 thing that was not on the list. I only forgot 1 thing that was on the list. I'd say that trip was a success!

Normally, I don't have to make such huge shopping trips very often. I try to space them out a bit, if I can. I try to go alone when The Referee is home. He also helps by stopping off at the store to pick up a few items on his way home from work. So, I try to work it out with a few alternative options before taking all the kids grocery shopping. I can shop with 5 in tow fairly easily, if the list is short. Sam's Club is a big, open warehouse, so it can be fun for the kids, especially when seasonal items arrive that interest them. But, when the list is long...because the fridge and cupboards have been empty a few days too many....that is when I pull out my wild card: Bribery!

A special treat can go a long way.

Chore Chart

The kids are earning money! This picture is from their first pay day. They were quite excited about it.

We are following the recommendation of our financial adviser, Dave Ramsey, and paying the kids a commission for working their assigned chores each week. It is not an allowance. Dave says that allowance is like welfare. He calls it commission, because they have to earn the money in order to receive it. That concept reminds me of something my Mom always says, "You don't work, you don't eat." My Mom is a big advocate of working hard and earning your way. I want my children to learn the wisdom of this principle as well.

I also want a cleaner house. So, I will secretly admit that one of my biggest inspirations to starting this chores/commission path was my own personal gain. I decided to start with the new school year. I designed a chore chart. I listed out a handful of chores for each child, based on age and ability. I am hoping the list will serve as a good template for what the kids should be doing each day, and the money will be the motivation to keep working at it.

Each child has the chore of making their bed, cleaning their bedroom, brushing their teeth, and picking up their things from around the house. The older kids have rotating chores as well. The rotating chores involve the cleaning of one room....the schoolroom or bathroom, for example. They are assigned that chore for 1 month, and then it will rotate off their chart and a new chore will rotate in. I am hoping that I will be able to teach them how to properly clean that chore item initially, and then they will maintain it without my assistance for the rest of the month.

So far so good. We have been utilizing the chore chart for 2 weeks. The biggest improvement I have noticed is that the bedroom floors are much more visible every day, and the kids' stuff is not all over the living room. It has been nice to have help with some of the other chores, like vacuuming and wiping down the kids' bathroom. Overall, the house has been cleaner. I pick 2 days out of the week that the kids have to complete their rotating chores, so that everything is cleaned thoroughly. I even gave one child the chore of cleaning doorknobs around the house, in an attempt to cut down on the spread of germs.

The commission prices average about 25 cents per chore. That is pretty low, but it is a start. I am expecting the prices to increase as the kids get better at their chores, and as the family budget is better equipped to pay them. Right now, the kids are pleased. They are learning about money...learning about saving, giving, and spending. We have even had a discussion about sales tax.

We have already had the experience of a child not completing all his chores, and not receiving all the commission. That is a tough lesson, but it was quickly learned. Jersey #3 is ready to tackle his chores this week, with much more enthusiasm.

Jersey #2 is the most money motivated of our children. She has been paying real close attention to my bedroom inspections, and working hard to keep her room cleaned up, and her rotating chores completed. She does not want to miss out on a single penny of her commission.

Jersey #1 has started asking to help out even more. She was eager to learn how to wash a load of her own laundry. I quickly complied with that lesson, and praised her for her efforts. Then, I made a mental note to start teaching each of the children to wash their own laundry when they turn 8 years old too. (That way, I only have 6 more years of doing kid laundry!)

The schoolroom is a big chore. The kids come and go, and leave messes all over. Jersey #1 was dreading that rotating chore on her list. I totally understood that. So, I empowered her with the authority to call back her siblings who made the mess, to have them clean up after themselves. She is asked to help the youngest two siblings clean up, in an attempt to train them (and I make sure they work with her), but her older two siblings must return to the room and clean up their mess when she asks. All of a sudden, those rotating chores took on a new look.

When the kids were able to remind their siblings to clean up the messes they made...instead of having to clean up after their siblings....suddenly everyone starting doing a better job cleaning up after themselves. That improvement alone has been worth every effort I put into this process.

Man cub

Jersey #3 thinks he is all grown up now. At 5 years of age, he is certain that he can run with the boys.....or the men, in this case.

We had a work day at church this month. The men were working outdoors on the landscaping around the church. The women were working indoors, decorating and preparing for Vacation Bible School. We had the children indoors with us.

Jersey #3 asked if he could work outdoors with the men, instead.

He was so entertaining to me. He tried to move rock and trim bushes. He came indoors to get drinks when the men came in. He found a hat to wear too. Any time I suggested he help me with something, he reminded me that he was working outdoors with the men.

I think it is good for him to be working with the men like that. It is good that he sees men come together in teamwork to accomplish a task. A nice thing about this experience at a church work day is that the language and attitudes of the workers are good.

I'm not sure how helpful he was, being only 5 years old. But, he seemed to think he was quite an asset to the project.

Running: Week 4

Running! I'm still running! I am still dragging myself out 3 times a week, to complete the Couch to 5K running plan. Who would have thought that I would have stuck it out this long? I have never desired to be a runner before. Dare I admit that I am actually enjoying this training? I am really, really enjoying the results. Fitness results. Weight loss results. Overall feeling good, results. I enjoy the sense of accomplishment from completing the workouts each week.

I've just completed Week 4...

5 minute warm-up walk
Followed by this interval twice:
3 minute jog
90 second walk
5 minute jog
2.5 minute walk

Week 4 was a big jump in jogging. Previous workouts had me jogging a total of 9 minutes. This week had me jogging 16 total minutes. I am surprised I could do it.

When I jog for the 5 minute sessions, I can really feel the muscles in my legs and torso getting a workout. My knee is not bothering me at all when I run now. I increased my distance to 2 miles each workout, versus the 1.5 miles I was covering before. I still land heavy when I jog.

I went online and watched a video about proper running form. I was surprised to learn that my stride is not as off as I thought. The stride I thought I was suppose to have is what happens when you run as fast as you can, as if someone is chasing you. Jogging as a workout is a much shorter stride. So, my jogging is more real than I originally considered.

During the 2nd workout session of the week, I picked up my pace a bit to pass a guy who was walking the track. I didn't want to catch up to him and then stop jogging and walk, because my walking pace was slower than his. I didn't want to keep catching up to him and then slowing down. That is annoying when folks drive that way, so I am sure it is annoying during a workout. I was nearing the end of my running interval, so to give myself a longer space ahead of him, I tried to run faster. I learned that I can run a little faster than my current pace. I also learned that it is very challenging to do so. I was really breathing heavy and sweating more....and it took much longer to recover my breathing and heart rate during the walking portion. Whew! That was a wake-up call for how I need to keep working towards better fitness.

I went online and found a 10-week program for slowly weaning off the liquid crack (Mountain Dew). I just dread that withdrawal headache, so I am hoping a slow process will help. I am thinking that if I can stick to a running program for 4 weeks, then maybe, just maybe, I can eliminate Mountain Dew from my body.

Maybe.

I haven't started it yet. I'm still contemplating. Feeling this good about running is certainly inspiring me to consider the idea. Clearly, we don't see runners guzzling Mountain Dew regularly (or at all, that I am aware of).

I'm working up the courage.

Haircuts and Picture Day

We took the kids for haircuts last weekend. I thought it would be a good time to then try to get individual photos. I was thinking something similar to "picture day" at school. I was thinking it would be nice to have individual photos of the kids each grade.

Well, I think I might need to do a bit more learning about common poses for school photos.

The kids are cute. Their hair looks good. Their Mom needs some picture day photography schooling, though.

Jersey #1, 4th grade

Jersey #2, 2nd grade

Jersey #3, kindergarten

Jersey #4, preschool

Jersey #5

Vacation Bible School

The kids and I spent the week attending Vacation Bible School at our church. It was a big week. We were exhausted every day. But, it was a good kind of exhausted, created by having tons of fun.

I was a co-director of VBS this year. I was only CO-director this year. That was great. I had another co-director to work with, so I was not on my own. That was wonderful. She was fantastic. Very organized. Very tech savy. Very smart. She had great ideas, and kept us on schedule during the planning phase.

I was able to focus on people-pleasing. Er, well, I am not actually very good at people pleasing per se...

I was able to focus on recruiting folks to help us out, and catering to their wishes as best I could. People are quirky. Their quirks don't bother me. So, I tried to cater to their quirks as best as I could so that everyone was pleased with the work they were doing. I tried to fit workers to areas where they worked well....and worked well with others. If folks are satisfied with their working environment, they can focus on the true goal....teaching the children about Jesus.

I am a strict parent. So, I was also the strict leader who corraled the unruly children. Some of the teen helpers used me as the discipline threat...."You better sit nicely with your class, or you will have to go sit with Coach Mom!" The child would look back over their shoulder at me. Oooh, no one wants THAT punishment! I didn't mind a bit. I provide structure. Other folks provide spontaneity. It works.

I was also able to focus on an area I feel called: shuttle! Since I drive a 12-passenger van, I have 6 seats to spare. When I was praying about getting the van, I considered the extra space as a means to invite children to various activities with us. What a great outreach to be able to invite friends to Vacation Bible School and transport them too. I enjoy playing kids songs in the CD player, listening to their conversations, and laughing at their silly jokes. The noise volume does not phase me. I tend to survey, scan, and count heads as a part of life already, so I haven't lost anyone yet. On my busiest days, I transported 10 children to VBS, including my 5. On my lightest day, I transported 8 total. That was a good use of my van!

We arrived to the church a little early each day, so that I could help get things set up. The kids enjoyed some outdoor play....

We enjoyed music. Songs with motions were a huge hit....

At lesson time, we learned about being conquerors with strength from God...

Crafts were hands-on, messy fun...

Lunch time was a favorite part of the program...

Game time was a blast...especially water games on the last day....

We have a really cool Pastor who taught about the missionary we were supporting this VBS. He explained salvation to the kids, each day, at their level.

And, being in the oldest group had its privelages. Their leader spoiled them with treats...

Vacation Bible School is so much FUN!

Tired

We are having a very big, very busy week this week. We are all so very tired....

No-Win Potty Training

I have said it before, and I will say it again...

I stink at potty training!

My current situation involves my 5-year old son. He potty-trained later than his sisters, for sure. He was already 3 before he mastered the skill during the day. But, since he is such a sound sleeper, he required a Pull-up at night.

Jersey #2 was the same way. She wore Pull-Ups at bedtime until she was just past 6 years old. She sleeps hard at night and does not wake up. She still does not wake up, but apparently she reached a point where her bladder grew big enough to hold everything all night long while she slept.

Jersey #3 is in the middle of this growth process, I think. He really wants the privilege of wearing underwear to bed (instead of a Pull-Up), but he does not yet fully have the ability. So, half the time, I am having to launder soiled bed sheets and PJs in the mornings.

The other night, he woke up and was stirring around in his bed. I had just gone to check on the kids before going to bed myself. When I saw him sitting up in bed, looking dazed, I asked him if he needed to go potty. He nodded. So, I walked him to the bathroom. I stood in the doorway while he went through the process, so I could walk him back to bed. He was clearly disoriented from being half-asleep.

That is when I started to question if he really should be trying to wake up and void in the middle of the night. He was still so much asleep, that he did not have much stability or aim while he stood to pee. He overshot at first, and peed on the back of the toilet seat. When he tried to regroup, he peed on the floor.

So, I stood there wondering, is it better to have to wash soiled bed sheets every morning because he didn't wake up to pee....or to have to clean the toilet area every morning because he did???

I can't win.

Horseback Riding

The kids enjoyed the opportunity to go out to the ranch again. I know they like horses, but I am still so surprised by how much the younger ones enjoy scooping horse POOP!

I praise them for working so joyfully. It is a great opportunity to get to visit the ranch and ride horses. This time out, they also had salamanders...

I was a bit surprised when Jersey #2 stepped right up at the opportunity to hold one. She actually went back to that station a few times throughout our visit. I had no idea she was such a *critter* kid.

This time around, the older three kids were working more on learning to hold the reins and direct the horses themselves. Jersey #3 has a ways to go. He forgets which pull and tug is meant for which direction. He concentrates hard, but the ranch volunteers have to help him and lead the horse quite a bit.

Jersey #2 enjoys herself whether she is using the reins, or whether the volunteer is leading the horse. I think she is just happy to be riding again and to not be afraid of getting up so high. She chatted with the ranch volunteers the entire time she was in the saddle.

Jersey #1 had quite an experience. She was placed in the group with the more experienced riders from the start. Since I was with the younger kids, I did not get pictures of her working around the ranch. She likes having her independence away from her Mom like that. Thankfully, she still lets me know when it is her turn on the horse, so I can come running with my camera.

The horse was being very stubborn this time, and Jersey #1 did not have the assertiveness to let the horse know she was in charge. I found the situation to be entertaining. Jersey #1 found it to be a bit disappointing. She felt like she was sitting still on the horse for half of her turn. She just could not get him to go in the direction she wanted. She did get him to turn in a full circle, like the ranch volunteers suggested.

When we chatted about it later, I explained to her that this was part of learning how to ride a horse. It is a good challenge for her to become more assertive. Her previous disappointments dissipated as soon as she realized that being on the horse on her own, with the reins in hand was much more of a "big kid" experience, than having the volunteer lead the horse around the corral like they do for the younger kids.

I assured her that being frustrated with her own limitations is part of the growing process. She developed a new resolve for next time, as I encouraged her to rise to the challenge the horse was presenting to her. What a blessing to have this opportunity.

By the time The Referee came home from work that day, Jersey #1's version of the story about her experience switched to how she received the opportunity to steer the horse all by herself, without assistance from the ranch volunteers. She dreamed big about what she was going to work on next time.

Jersey #4 had no interest in getting on a horse this time. She did not put on a helmet at all. She was content to scoop horse poop and play.

Jersey #5 put on his helmet and walked through the gate to the corral. He was ready to go...

...and then he changed his mind as soon as he got close to that big horse.

He decided to ride the slide instead...

Swim Lessons

The kids just completed a 2-week session of swim lessons. It is VERY important to me that my children learn to swim and to be safe in and around water. So, we enroll them in swim lessons every summer, starting at the preschool age (around age 3). I also work with them whenever we go to the pool for family swim.

I used to take swim lessons when I was a kid, because it was important to my Dad that his children learn to swim....and learn to swim with proper technique. His efforts to provide swim lessons, set me up to later join a swim team in high school, and to work as a lifeguard in my teen years.

I can only hope and dream at this point that my children will acquire a love for swimming that may lead them to swim teams and/or lifeguarding jobs. For now, I just want them to learn to swim well and be safe.

There are a handful of swimming pools in our town that are open during the summer months, and a few that are open during the winter. We actually drive a little out of our way to take swim lessons at a pool that is not the closest one to our house. The pool itself is bigger, and also has a bigger area that is only 3 or 4 feet deep. The new swimmers really like having that much space where their feet can touch the bottom of the pool when they stand up. It seems to give them much more confidence when they are first learning to swim. An additional reason we go to that specific pool is because they have some of the friendliest lifeguards in town. The lifeguards who teach the swim lessons are very sweet and encouraging, and my kids really like them. It must be a nice place to work, because we see the same lifeguards there each summer, as they work themselves through high school and college.

The city swim program offers a parent/tot class and a preschool class. The goal of those classes is to help a young child become comfortable in the water.

As soon as a child is comfortable getting into the water, and maybe even blowing bubbles, they start the child swim lessons program. This program has 6 levels, and the skills build upon each other as they progress. The 6th class includes a lot of junior lifeguarding skills as well. At the end of each 2-week session, the kids are given a card with their name on it, and all the skills for that level class. The instructors fill in the bubbles on the card to show us what skills the child has demonstrated. As soon as all the bubbles are filled in for one level, the child is ready to enroll in the next level class. It is a great system for our family, because it shows me how the children are progressing through each level.

This summer, the kids astounded me with their efforts. We were only able to register for one session of swim lessons, but they all still managed to complete all of their skills for the class they were in. (It often takes 2 sessions at a class level for them to complete all of the skills). So, next summer, they will be ready to move up to the next level. I am thrilled to report that I now have 3 swimmers and only 2 non-swimmers. I feel so much relief each and every time one of my children learns to swim well enough to get themselves back to the side of the pool.

Jersey #5 seemed comfortable enough in the water to join the preschool class. But, after the first day, he refused to return. He sat out the next day. After that, we both joined the parent/tot class. He loved swimming with Mama. He is back to being real comfortable in the water again. We will try the preschool class with him again next summer. A year to grow and mature should help his cooperation.

Jersey #4 did great in the preschool class. She fully participated each day, and had a blast. She is actually the most comfortable in the water of any of my kids at that age. I wonder if swimming will be a sport that entices her in the future?

Jersey #3 has no fear. As a result, I usually have to rescue him during swim lessons. This time, he learned how to swim underwater and get himself back to the edge of the pool. So, I did not have to utilize my former life-guarding skills with him this summer. Jersey #3 spent most of his time underwater. He also splashed his entire class every time he jumped into the water. His teacher didn't seem to mind. She liked his enthusiasm.

Jersey #2 can now swim 10 yards on her own. Last summer she was nervous to put her head underwater. This summer, she is a fish. She has gained a lot of confidence. She is so sure of herself that she was giving the instructors suggestions on what skills to work on.

There were times when I would just stop in my tracks because Jersey #1 caught my eye. I can hardly believe the skills she has learned. She can swim an entire length of the pool (25 yards) using front crawl stroke and backstroke. She also took an interest in diving into the pool. She practiced diving from the side of the pool, swimming across the deep end, diving off the low dive (with the help of the instructor and a mat that she slid off)....and then jumping off the high dive the last day of class...

I just love seeing my kids enjoy swimming.