Sweet memories are made when we go on our church's mission trip to the Navajo Nation. The Navajo children really enjoy the love and attention. The smiles in their eyes just light up the room.
It is humbling to see the conditions where they live, and the distance from our way of life even though we are in the same country. I learn more history from the missionaries in that area, than I think I have ever learned in school.
No matter what the situation, everyone should be aware of God's love, and the free gift of salvation. That is the most important thing. I try to instill that understanding in my own children. Before dinner the first evening we were there, I was giving the kids a big lecture about the importance of mission work. I must have gotten a little too serious at some point. At the end, I went to ask the children some questions to see if they understood what I had been saying.
I asked, "So, what is the most important thing?"
Jersey #2 and Jersey #3 answered in unison, "Never trust a plastic hippo!"
Then, they busted out laughing at the fact that they both had the same thought. I was completely floored. They were quoting a recent Veggie Tales movie. They thought they were hilarious. I was immediately reminded that 1) I had gotten too serious for their level of understanding, 2) these children clearly belong to The Referee (who also quotes movies in humorous ways), and 3) that response was quite funny!
That became the running joke with the kids for the rest of the week. We had a good time, and they learned a lot about serving others and sharing the Good News about God's Love.
I learned a lot that week too. Most of the time, my lessons are about patience and control.
I like control. I do not like to be patient.
Unfortunately, the series of crisis and tragedies and such in my life through the years has left me with a lack of desire for control, and a lack of luster for trying to get my way, which I liken to patience.
With the current state of my life this year, I am pretty much resolved that I am not in control. Since I can't plan a moment of my life right now, I am completely patient and waiting for God's next move. I don't necessarily like it this way, but I accept it for what it is.
While we were on this mission trip, I tried to be mindful of patience and control. I was working with other adults, some I had just met, and most of us were new to each other and each other's styles. This mission trip itself is usually full of adventure, so going with the flow is a helpful way to be.
I was trying so hard to not try to control things, that I almost missed a time when I needed to take control. I had a doubt about one of the crafts that was planned for the week. Initially I tried to tell myself that I should not say anything, so that I did not come across as trying to be in charge of the crafts, and did not hurt anyone's feelings. I was so unsettled about it, that I finally just took the example to the group and asked their opinion about my concerns. The other adults immediately set me straight about why my concerns were valid. They also offered up a list of relevant craft ideas that would better replace it. The mission director went so far as to tell me that he would not want that craft on the van with him when he was driving the kids home, because it would be unsafe. It was eye-opening to me to realize that I was spending so much time trying to show that I was not trying to control the situation, that I almost failed to advocate for safety.
I took a step back, and let my mission teammate put her craft ideas into place and lead the kids during craft time. The day she had to handle everything solo (because I had to take care of my ill Jersey #4), my friend clued in on some other areas of weakness in our mission program. Some of the folks had different expectations. Others were fatigued. Others needed some direction. She and I chatted about these things, I explained how such situations were handled on past trips, and we brainstormed some solutions for this trip. Still, I let her take the lead in bringing up suggestions or making changes. I was being extremely careful to not be controlling whatsoever.
In my past, I have been so controlling in my take-charge approach to things, that I just bowled through folks, knocking them out of my way along the way. I have enough experience now to know that is not a good way to work with others. But, apparently, I have been taking things to the opposite extreme, and failing to lead for fear of being too controlling. I had no idea I had gone so far. I thought I was being a good team player, and not making waves.
On the last day of our trip, I made waves.
When push came to shove, I had to stand up for what was right.
One of the teen girls brought her 1-year old nephew with her to class. She was given instructions to leave her own class and help him participate with the youngest class group. She was willing to follow these instructions.
I overheard her being told that the baby could not stay. I moved closer to learn more about what was going on. Her teacher approached me and asked me what I would do in that situation. At first, I tried to gently explain that the little boy could either go to the younger class, and the teen girl could join him, or vice versa, and he could attend her class with her. This is how we handled such things in the past. When I was told what the teacher of the younger class had already stated that he was too young for her class, I no longer held my tongue. I remarked that it was an unfortunate response, and that we never turn children away. When I saw teen teacher's eyes go wide, I knew I was being too forceful, so I tried to ease up. I offered the solution that I would keep the baby with me, so that the teen girl could go to her class. I would let him work on crafts, and see what other activities he was interested in. If the baby had any trouble, I would bring him to her. The teen and her teacher were very pleased with that solution. I scooped that little guy in my arms, and braced myself for any confrontation about him being too young for the program. No one dared to challenge me. I made it quite clear to anyone who would listen, that we do not turn away children!
And, then I enjoyed some time with this little cutie who could not yet talk, but who could point and squeal with delight over everything. He loved stickers, applesauce, and the balls that dipped into the water for game time. He had a blast during his very first day of Vacation Bible School.
My Pastor made a point to share with me that the baby's father thanked him for us allowing the child to be part of our program that day. I felt validated that I had taken a stand, and it ended well.
But, I still carried guilt about the 'conflict' I perceived with the mission team member who initially wanted to turn him away. I was trying so hard to get along with everyone and not cause drama. It did not take me long to revert to my bossy ways, like in my past. Granted, there was no argument or anything like that. We did not even discuss the matter with each other at all, but I was poised for an argument, if one came up. I did not insist the child be in her class if she was uncomfortable with it, but I totally took control and made sure he was not turned away....and made sure that his teen Aunt could continue in her class that was making such an impact on her life this summer. I was really unsettled with myself in how I handled the situation, because I am trying so hard to love others with the love of Christ, and I felt I had failed in this area when I became bossy and dominate in my solution.
In church that following Sunday, my Pastor preached a sermon about the importance of children's ministries. He made an example out of me. He shared the Bible stories about how Jesus encouraged the children to be brought to Him, when the disciples wanted to turn them away. Then, Pastor shared the story about how I refused to let this toddler boy be turned away from our Vacation Bible School program in the Navajo Nation.
I was so preoccupied with whether or not my response was disagreeable and causing drama with other members of our mission team, that I completely missed the fact that my stance that no child should be turned away from our program, followed biblical teaching, and was honoring to God. Here I thought I was burdening my Pastor with conflict on a mission trip, and it turned out he supported me.
New lesson learned. But, I am still wrapping my mind around it. The take-charge-with-a-passion personality trait I possess can be a good thing. It should not be used to make everyone do what I think is best. But, it is not the shameful burden that I have come to view it.
There are times and places where I am going to be called to take a stand and advocate for another, un-apologetically, for God's purpose. I was given this trait for a reason, and God doesn't make mistakes.
Whoa! I did not see that one coming.
I was spending so much time, giving all of my effort, trying to make sure that I was not showing any level of controlling behavior, yet I was falling short. I had my eyes on myself, and not on God.
I've got a lot to learn.
