Blessed With Hotdogs

I did not reach out for help this past week, as I was enduring the worst week of my life.

But, help was plentiful all week long.

God is SO Good!

It started with my Mom giving me money for gas for my travels to her house.  I was really short on funds, and trying to make ends meet until the next payday.  I knew I could ask my parents for gas money, and they would generously give.  My Mom continues to tell me to let her know if I need anything.  I thought about asking.  I really questioned if I was to that point that I should ask for a hand-out or not.

I decided to not ask.  I decided to pray for guidance.  I knew that God would provide for my needs.  What I did not know is if I was the point of "need" yet, or was I just wanting to be comfortable and not worry about my bank account going empty.  I tried to calculate if I had remembered all of my expenses for the upcoming week, or was I forgetting about something.  I filled my van with gas, and took the trip, hoping that I had all of my bases covered until payday.  

I arrived at my Mom's house and found an envelope on the guest bedroom dresser that was labeled as "gas money" for me.  God provided for my needs, through my parents, and I did not even have to ask.  I did remember to say thank you.  I was touched by their generosity.  That money filled my tank again, giving me enough gas to return home and also to visit the Youth Ranch twice during the week.

Next, came cash from my sister.  She had a garage sale, and sold a desk that I had previously given to her.  Even though I no longer owned the desk, she gave me the money for it because she said it was mine.  I took that money, and the change I had in my change bank, and made a deposit, to put my mind at ease in case an expense came up during the week.  

Next came the dryer part.  My dryer was trying to break down.  A friend and his wife came over Monday evening to fix it.  He told me in advance that he had a part for it, but if the part was not necessary, he could return it easily.  I was nervous about the expense of fixing the dryer.  I was prepared to make the tough decision about whether or not to fix it, based on the cost of repair.  I was also willing to ask my friend if I could pay him back on Friday, which was payday.  It turned out that the part was needed, and it fixed up the dryer nicely.  My friend told me that I owed him absolutely nothing for parts or services, and that expense was already covered by someone else.  I have no idea if he paid for it himself, or if he was referring to a third party helping me out.  It was too vague, but I was grateful.  What a relief to not have a big repair expense.  In addition, my friend ran to the store and bought 2 bulbs to replace my security light in the front of my house.  

While I was sitting at the dining table, talking with my friend's wife while he fixed the dryer, I glanced over and noticed $5 sticking out of the bag that my sister had brought me.  I was puzzled because I thought I put the money she gave me for the desk into the bank.  I did not realize there was $5 still left in the bag.  How nice it was to have some cash on hand in my pocket.  How nice it really was when Jersey #1 ripped her swim cap during her meet Tuesday morning, and I had the $5 to buy her a replacement cap!  

The Lord will provide for all of our needs...   

Tuesday morning, I gathered up all the water bottles and random snacks I could find to keep the kids fed during the swim meet.  I had just enough items to keep them content, but nothing near what I normally have in stock.  I tossed the ingredients for Chili into the crockpot before we left that morning, so that I could assure the kids that there was a big meal waiting for them for lunch at home.  I had to say no to the request to join the swim team out for lunch after the meet.  There was no budget for a meal out.  

While we were at the meet, I received an email from my Pastor, asking if I could send out a reminder about the church potluck BBQ for the 4th of July.  It said to bring hot dogs, hamburgers, and side dishes.  My mind raced as I went over the contents of my fridge and pantry.  I had foods for making meals to get us through the week...chilli and enchiladas, for example....but I did not account for picnic or potluck BBQ foods.  What in the world was I going to bring?  (Now, I know that it would have been perfectly acceptable to show up to the church picnic without a dish to share.  Our loving church family would have been just fine with that.)  I tried to calculate my bank account from the top of my head to see if I had enough to buy some hotdogs or something cheap like that to bring.  Ugh!  I was going to have to look at the details at home, because I could not come up with a good solution, from the top of my head, right there at the swim meet.

As I was leaving the meet, I received a phone call from a friend.  Since I was in the midst of loading up the kids and the cooler and such, I did not answer.  My friend left a message that said I needed to let her know when I would be home, because the items she wanted to bring me could not be left out in the heat. I was expecting a bucket from her, but could not remember what else she was bringing me.  Since she is getting ready to move, it could really be anything.  I texted her back that I was heading home, and she could come over in an hour, and I would be there.

My friend showed up at my house with a 4th of July goody basket for me and the kids!  It was the coolest thing.  In addition to the bucket she had told me she was giving me, she had it filled with glow sticks, a cartoon movie, squirt guns, mandarin oranges, lemonade, hot dogs, and buns.  She was so excited to bring it to me, knowing that I was going to be having a tough week.  She wanted to do something nice for me.  Her husband suggested she get me a gift card, but she said I would only spend it on the kids.  Her friend suggested a movie-night themed gift basket, and that idea morphed into the 4th of July themed basket instead.  She could hardly wait for me to get home so she could bring it over.  I was flattered.  I was blessed.  I was touched.

But, what struck me the most was the hot dogs.  I shared with her how I had forgotten about the church picnic and did not include potluck foods in my budget this week.  I told her how I was racking my brain trying to figure out how I could scrounge up enough cash to buy some hot dogs or something to take.  I told her that I knew this was a God-thing, because how else would she know that I needed some hot dogs?  We both were amused when it suddenly dawned on her that she had brought me 2 packages of buns, but 3 packages of hot dogs.  She apologized for the miscalculation.  I started laughing and told her that the funny thing was that I actually had 1 package of hot dog buns in my freezer, but did not have any hot dogs to go with it.  

What a blessing to have plenty of picnic foods to bring to the church picnic.  Plus, all the kids loved the glow sticks and squirt guns.  Since risk of fire was such a danger that night, the glow sticks made great night-time fun on the 4th of July.  


God is SO Good!



Babysitting was another need this past week, and God provided.  Our regular babysitters were out of town for the week, and I did not realize it at first.  After they did not respond to my messages, I caught a clue.  I was not sure how I was going to find someone to babysit, even for lunch, on the 4th of July holiday.  Much to my surprise, a young lady from church was off work that day, and willing to come over and watch my kids.  Plus, she was willing to let me pay her when I saw her at church on Sunday (after payday), instead of that day.  (Actually, she was willing to babysit for free, but I didn't want her to do that.)

I also needed a sitter for Jersey #5 on Friday, because the older kids and I were scheduled to volunteer at a food bank.  Children had to be at least 6 years old, for insurance reasons.  Thankfully, I was able to contact a friend from church who was more than willing to have Jersey #5 over at her house all morning. I thought her daughter was at camp all week, which was why I hesitated to ask her to babysit.  But, it turned out the daughter was home already, and they were happy to have a tiny tot around to bring them some laughter after a tough week at their house.  It is such a relief to have such kind and loving people be willing to watch my kids when the need arises.

We were scheduled to work out at the Youth Ranch twice this past week too.  I thought it would do me some good to keep busy, but really I exhausted myself all week, when I was already emotionally exhausted from grief, in the first place.  So, it turned out to be a foolish idea to keep busy all week.  I did not want to fall short on my offer to work at the Ranch.  Thankfully, God took care of me there too.  I am usually asked to water trees or lead an activity, where I am with the crowd of visitors.  Out of the blue, Cowboy Max asked me to 'supervise' a junior volunteer who would be doing a task in the corral with the horses.  For safety reasons, he wanted an adult to be present while she worked.  Even though she had plenty of experience, someone needed to be available to get help if she needed it.  So, my job at the Ranch was to hang out and look like an adult.  That gave me lots of quiet time to think and no pressure to be real social and outgoing (which was something that I just did not have the energy for anyway).  Yet, I "looked" like I was helping and serving at the Ranch, and I was giving Jersey #1 an opportunity to work in the Junior Volunteer Program.  I still can't believe how well that worked out, when I thought I was going to totally tank on my commitment.  

I was dreading the 4th of July this year.  It was my 14th Anniversary, and I am estranged from my husband.  Plus, it is a holiday that our church tends to celebrate with a big social gathering.  It is not easy to be social when you are grieving a loss.  I had previously considered the idea of asking my husband if he would like to go out for a meal for our anniversary, but I did not have the funds to offer.  So, I had let the idea go.  Much to my surprise, my husband asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner to commemorate our anniversary!  He told me that he had been thinking about it, and it seemed that 14 years of marriage, and our 20 years together really should be recognized.  When I told him that was exactly what I was wanting to do this year, but I did not have any money to pull it off, he assured me that he would cover the cost.  What a treat!  I was able to enjoy a lunch date with my husband, and commemorate the fact that we are still married.  I was thrilled to actually reach another anniversary.  It has been a long year already, and a tough year at that.  So, taking the time to acknowledge where we were and where we are now, was great.  I enjoyed every minute of it.  The restaurant was nice.  The food was great.  The conversation was good.  I even enjoyed a laugh.  Coincidentally, it was the same restaurant that we dined at for our 13th anniversary, right after we had gone for massages, for the first time ever.  We were certainly in a different mindset a year ago, but it was so wonderful to see just how far we have come up from darkness and tragedy.

I thank God for that opportunity to take a breather like that, in the midst of this long journey we appear to be on.  I was at peace with the current state of my marriage and family.


It was even nice to be able to go to the church BBQ, and not feel sad or tearful.  Instead, I enjoyed the company and enjoyed celebrating the holiday with friends.  


As if the blessings were not plentiful enough all week long, my sister emailed me to suggest that she could bring Jersey #4 back from Granny & PawPaw's house, and take Jersey #3 in return.  I was planning to take that trip, but she took it for me because she was already coming to town.  It actually was our youngest sister's idea that she transport the grandkids like that.  It had not dawned on either of us that she could do the transport since she was coming to town anyway.  It all worked out beautifully.  I was able to see my sister, brother-in-law, and nephews, and I did not have to make a road trip to exchange kids with their grandparents.  That gave me more flexibility to go to the grocery store on payday, and have plenty of snacks and drinks on hand for Saturday's swim meet.  


By the end of the week, my perspective and my attitude were completely changed.  It was a major overhaul.  Every single detail of my life was handled, and not by me.  Every item that I thought about and tried to figure out in my own strength, was taken care of fully, even though I did not say a word.


I even found rest when swim practice was canceled due to lightning one night.  I told the kids that we were going to bed early that night, and I would start fresh earlier the next morning.  What a difference to get a good night's rest like that!


My Pastor told me that the friend who fixed my dryer had talked to him, so he already knew the dryer needed to be fixed.  He told me that next time, I should tell him when I have a need like that.  He said the same thing about the gravestone.  At the time I was talking about the gravestone, I told him that it was a personal desire, not a true need, so I didn't bring it up.  With the dryer, I had reached a point of deciding that I was just going to make due with what I had, and not expect to have more than I do.  I was not in the mindset of fixing it.  I was in the mindset of how can I get laundry dry anyway.  I have let go of my expectations for my life.  I have let go of my entitlements.  I am trying to stay focused on God, and living my life to serve Him.

Even though I know that my friends and family will help me with food and finances, so my basic needs will always be met, I do not find it necessary to ask for help right now.  Instead, I am waiting on God.  He supplies all of my needs, in His perfect timing.  He knows all of my needs without me even having to ask.  He knows my thoughts.  He knows my desires.  My prayer is that I will be aware of His guidance and direction for my life, and that I will live in such a way that is honoring to Him.

And weeks like this past week where I was too grieved to function, I simply put one foot in front of the other to keep moving forward, and God took care of everything....even the hot dogs.

God is SO Good!
 


            

Ice Cream

Crock-pot Yogurt

I am feeling mighty proud and domestic this morning.  I have accomplished a great feat--I made yogurt in my crock-pot.  

I started with 1 cup of store-bought yogurt (with live cultures and all), and a half-gallon of milk.  Who knew it was that simple?  By this morning, I had about 10 times the yogurt I started with.  Incredible!

The process is very easy.  There are many recipes and blog posts with pictures on the internet that showed me how to do it.  

1)  Pour a half-gallon of whole milk into the crock-pot and cook it on low for 2.5 hours.

2)  Turn off crock-pot and let milk stand for 3 more hours.

3)  Mix 1 cup of yogurt with 1 cup of the milk in the crock-pot, and return the mixture to the crock-pot.

4)  Wrap crock-pot in a blanket or large towel and let it sit overnight (or 8-10 hours).

The next morning, the crock pot is full of yogurt. 

Yogurt should keep in fridge for 7-10 days.  Be sure to save 1 cup of yogurt to culture the next batch.

The next step is to sweeten it and serve it up in ways the family enjoys.  (Some folks eat plain yogurt, but we prefer sweetened).  I added honey to one bowl of yogurt, and The Referee liked that.  Jersey #1 said it needed more sugar.

I added mashed bananas to the honey-yogurt bowl and Jersey #3 thought that was wonderful.  Bananas really sweetened it and added texture.  Half of us like chunks of fruit in our yogurt.

I took a few spoonfuls of the store-bought yogurt and added it to a bowl of the crock-pot yogurt, to add some sweetness, and texture, to help the younger kids adjust to the change.  Crock-pot yogurt is not as thick as store-bought.  Basically, it will fall off the spoon.  Gelatin can be added if that is an issue.  Two spoonfuls of store-bought yogurt mixed in was plenty enough to please my cautious preschoolers.  They gobbled up the yogurt mix, and said it was yummy.    

Yogurt is a major staple in our household.  Finding a way to make it at home, for a fraction of the cost is exciting.  The preferences in level of sweetness and texture vary widely in my family.  So, I am thinking it is going to be best to make the plain yogurt in the crock-pot, and add texture/sweetness upon serving.

I am sure I will keep busy finding more and more ways to use my homemade yogurt in other meal recipes.

Next, I need to find an easy way to make granola to go with the yogurt...

We Like To Eat

Recently, all of my children have been asked what foods they like to eat. Their answers certainly fit their personalities and differences.

When our family doctor asked what her favorite foods were, Jersey #1 gave him a full explanation:

"I love bread. I eat a lot of carbs. So, my Mom reminds me to eat some vegetables and protein so that I don't get a tummy ache. If I only eat a bunch of bread and drink Dr. Pepper, it makes my stomach hurt."

The doctor confirmed that Mom is right, and she needs protein and vegetables too. He also praised her for having a good grasp on nutrition.

Jersey #2 and Jersey #4 had well-child check-ups this week, and the doctor asked each of them what was their favorite thing to eat.

Jersey #4 answered: "bread....and milk."

The doctor looked up at me and saw the surprise on my face. I was certain she was going to say powdered sugar donuts. He assured me that bread and milk were good favorites for a 4-year old.


Jersey #2 answered: "strawberries."

This is so true. The child can eat an entire quart of strawberries in one sitting, without sharing. Strawberries never go to waste at our house. She made the doctor laugh when she told him that she likes to eat all the strawberries and not share with her siblings.


As I was driving home from the doctor's office, I was pondering food. The kids were telling the truth about what their favorite foods were. The part I was pondering was the fact that if ever asked what MY favorite food is, I always answer: cheeseburgers.

I prefer cheeseburgers. My daughters prefer bread, carbs (bread & pasta), and strawberries.

Hmmm. Is it any wonder why they are slim and I am overweight? I think I might see a connection here.



Jersey #3 made us laugh when he announced that ALL food was his favorite.

That is so true. He has not mentioned a single food that he does not like. He is always hungry. He eats every two hours, and has since birth. He tells me every day that the meal I just served him was the best "lunch" ever. (Yes, every meal is lunch, according to Jersey #3).


Jersey #5 was asked by his AWANA teacher what was his favorite food. He answered: "Cheetos and bananas."

It sounds like he likes to snack.

I Love You Too?

The children and I were discussing Valentine's Day and Love.

I said, "Happy Valentine's Day, children. I love you all."

Jersey #3 answered immediately:

"I love your food."

???

Hmm. Ok. Thanks, son.

"Rump" roast

The kids helped me prepare a nice ham dinner today. My plan was to serve some for lunch, serve it for dinner, and use left-overs for packing sandwiches in our lunch for work this week. The preparation was fun. I enjoy cooking with the kids.

We sat down to a lovely lunch of chopped ham, baked beans, and corn. And milk, for those growing bones.

Jersey #1 brought up the conversation of which animal's meat we were eating. This sparked a huge discussion about which animals are used for our various meat products we eat.

Jersey #2 sent us all into a fit of laughter when she announced,

"This is the best meal ever....because I am eating a pig's butt!"

Never a dull moment...

It Works For Me: Cereal Mix

Cereal Mix is one of my favorite kid snacks, for our busy, on-the-go family.

I buy 2 different bulk boxes of cereal: one box is sugary-sweet, and one box is usually something "healthier" (as far as boxed cereal can be considered healthy).

I then take a bag out of each bulk box and pour half of each bag into a gallon-sized zippered storage bag (or my plastic cereal container).

After the two types of cereal are added, I zip the storage bag and shake to mix up the cereals into a blend.

Cereal for breakfast consists of this blend.

Cereal divided into little snack baggies make great breakfast or snacks on the road.

Cereal blend works as an easy toddler snack.

A gallon-sized bag of cereal mix makes a great snack for kid classrooms and activities when it is our day to bring snack.

The cereal blend can be easily adjusted to resemble more of a trail mix, with nuts, M&Ms, coconut, pretzels, raisins, or granola.

Not So Picture Perfect

We pulled off a picture-perfect birthday celebration for Jersey #2 last month...

The reality was far from perfect.



It started out well. All of the gifts and supplies were purchased in advance...I even found pink pirate party supplies...

We normally take some time the evening before a birthday to get things ready. It is tradition to have the dining table decorated, with the gifts and cake on display. It is a fun scene for the birthday child to wake up to.

This birthday was for one of our night-owl children. She was so excited about her birthday, that she really had a hard time getting to sleep that night. That meant we were up much later than usual to get things prepared, because we got such a late start.

To top it off, her birthday gift from us was a wooden doll house. The box was filled with all kinds of pieces that needed to be put together.

Normally, The Referee puts the kids' toys together with ease. This time, he was suffering with a sudden gout attack. He could hardly walk. He was on major medication, and in great pain.

I am really grateful he suffered through the doll house assembly task, because I was busy in the kitchen, making quite a mess of the doll cake...

With my previous doll cakes, I used 1 cake mix. This time, I tried 2 cake mixes, because the Barbie doll I bought for the cake was taller than the mold of 1 cake mix. It turns out that the batter bowl does not hold 2 full cake mixes. It only holds about 1.5 mixes. Oops! There was boiling over. There was burnt cake. There was smoke. It was a tasty mess, though. I had to scrape off some of the batter in order for the rest of the cake to bake. Thankfully, it worked out well enough, in spite of Barbie being a bit tall for the dome "dress."


There is even a story behind the pirate chest present...

Granny & PawPaw sent their present early, and it was sitting wrapped in my bedroom. It became unwrapped one day, and I thought the kids had played too rough around it and damaged the wrapping. I gave them a lecture about it, and re-adjusted the gift with the paper loosely on top. Two days later, Jersey #2 came crying to me because she was overcome with the guilt of having opened up her birthday present, but not admitting to it at the time I discovered the torn paper. She learned a valuable lesson with that experience, because the guilt was really eating at her. I had a good laugh remembering the story as I set out the unwrapped pirate chest gift on the table the night before her birthday.

The morning of her birthday, I wanted to get a picture of Jersey #2 with her cake, before we dug into it. She posed well and I snapped a few pictures, before it dawned on me that some tampering had occurred...

It appears that a certain toddler got his hands on the cake. Apparently, he got a hold of the number seven and attempted to lick the frosting off the bottom. His sisters caught him and stopped him, then tried to "fix" it back before I noticed. They did not realize that they placed the number seven backwards.

After I noticed the number, I then noticed the line of fingerprints through the frosting on the front of the doll cake dress. I served that piece to Jersey #5...

There is never a dull moment around here!

Grocery Shopping

This is how I manage grocery shopping with 5 children in tow...

Special Treats!


Bribery. It works for me.

We do not eat at the junk food cafe every time we visit Sam's Club. That would be too expensive. Plus, if we did it frequently, it would lose its special status from rarity. I won't even expand on the (lack of) nutritional quality to the food.

But, on days like yesterday, it works. The fridge and cupboards were empty. We were long overdue grocery shopping. And, our schedule has been very busy. So, after enjoying a few hours walking around the zoo with our friends in the morning, I bribed the kids with lunch at the Sam's Club cafe, so that I could fit in the grocery shopping on the way home. (I do not present it as a special favor to Mom. I present it as a really fun idea.)

The idea was a hit! We went from the zoo to the store. We ate first. Then, we ran through the aisles and loaded up our cart. The kids were so excited about the treat of pizza and Coke, that they forgot to whine about how tired their legs were already, from walking around the zoo. Everyone cooperated well enough to get our groceries.

I only added 1 thing that was not on the list. I only forgot 1 thing that was on the list. I'd say that trip was a success!

Normally, I don't have to make such huge shopping trips very often. I try to space them out a bit, if I can. I try to go alone when The Referee is home. He also helps by stopping off at the store to pick up a few items on his way home from work. So, I try to work it out with a few alternative options before taking all the kids grocery shopping. I can shop with 5 in tow fairly easily, if the list is short. Sam's Club is a big, open warehouse, so it can be fun for the kids, especially when seasonal items arrive that interest them. But, when the list is long...because the fridge and cupboards have been empty a few days too many....that is when I pull out my wild card: Bribery!

A special treat can go a long way.

Garden Vegetables

I have ventured out into unfamiliar territory.....GARDEN VEGETABLES!

The Referee loves vegetables. So do our kids. He once suggested going vegetarian. I said a meal is not a meal if it does not include meat. I reminded him that vegetables are side dishes....what you put at the side of the meat! He laughed at me.

Well, I am laughing at myself now. I joined a local organic farm co-op. I had heard great things about them from some vegetable-loving people in the past....and now they deliver! How convenient to have fresh fruits and vegetables delivered once a week right to our door.

I signed up. And then, I had second thoughts. When produce is labeled "organic"...it is a lot like the labels "wedding" or "baby"....the cost rises dramatically. I liked the idea of supporting local farmers, but the grocery budget has its limits. I decided to try it out for one week, and see what we thought.

Before our first delivery occurred, The Referee had some major attacks of his unidentified food allergy. His health during the past 2 years has been really challenging. He is having some severe allergic reactions. Unfortunately, the tests and treatment attempts are not easily identifying the source of the problem. Whatever he is allergic to is hard to pinpoint and the reactions are getting worse. In desperation, we have started seeking more foods in their natural state, and adding more fruits and vegetables to our meals. As I looked over my grocery shopping list that week, I came to the realization that shifting the grocery budget to include the co-op produce would be in The Referee's best interest.

I was overwhelmed when that first cooler of produce arrived. When I was growing up, vegetables came out of a can. I am not used to seeing garden vegetables, except for tomatoes that ripen on the window sill. I had no idea what half of the items were. I closed the lid and walked away.

I had to consult the list of items on the invoice. Then, I had to Google a few items to learn more about them and how to prepare them. I went back to the cooler and unloaded it onto the table, to see what I was dealing with. That was when I realized I did recognize about half of the items. That made me feel better.

Two weeks later, I have become a fan of fresh produce. I have been including fresh fruit in our breakfast and morning snacks. I have been adding multiple vegetables to dinner. The Referee hardly knows me anymore, because I have become such a vegetable chef! He is not complaining, but he is certainly speechless.

So far, I have narrowed down the vegetables to 4 categories.....

1) vegetables that can be treated like potatoes: peel, cube, toss with olive oil, salt, and garlic pepper, then roast in the oven.

I've done this with Kohlrabi....

...and with beets (which Jersey #5 loved so much that it was all he ate for dinner that night, and he had 4 servings).

I've even boiled turnips, mashed them, and added them to my mashed potatoes.

2) Vegetables that can be diced and sauteed in butter: squash, carrots, broccoli...

3) Vegetables that can be chopped up for a salad, or in finger-food size for dipping. The kids love carrot sticks with ranch and celery sticks with peanut butter.

And the final category....

4) Vegetables that I am not sure I will ever be able to eat: mushrooms and cooking greens. Mushrooms are fungus. How does that count as food? Cooking greens....mustard greens, collard greens, spinach.....look like lawn clippings. All the recipes I can find talk about boiling them (ick!) until they are soft (double ick!). Spinach can be included in the salad vegetable category, and I am fine with that. But, as soon as it....or any vegetable...is cooked to mush, I can't handle it. I don't even like carrots cooked to soft with a roast.

So, I am sticking to the raw, roasted, or sauteed vegetables for now. So far, the kids enjoy them. The Referee is thrilled because he can eat eat most everyting without any allergic response. Dinners are quite colorful now. Lettuce really can replace a bun, taco shell, or tortilla. Plus, I have unexpectedly dropped 4 pounds these past 2 weeks.

I just lost weight without even trying......bring on the veggies!

Grocery Misadventures

I like to plan. I like to organize. I like efficiency.

I am not sure if these are skills or neurotic habits, but either way, I am strong in them.

I used to have such a hard time coping with plans going awry, that my husband once said to me, "Let me introduce you to a new word: tentative." Five children later, I have grown to expect my plans to go awry. I plan for that. Efficiency often goes right out the window too...especially with Jersey #4, because she has no concept of "hurry". She takes her time at her pace, without feeling any sense of pressure from a time constraint. (but that is probably another blog topic altogether) I'm still working on accepting the loss of efficiency. It is a growing process. Thankfully, organizing serves me well with managing a large family. I have not been able to convince them to be organized too, but I am able to put my organizing skills into action daily.

I said all of that to explain my misadventures of grocery shopping yesterday.

I stayed up late the night before to type up my grocery list. This is not a regular activity, but instead one that I decided I was going to organize and put into place to streamline grocery shopping...thus making it a more efficient process. I tend to buy the majority of our groceries in bulk at Sam's Club. I am also working hard to operate on the lowest grocery budget I can accomplish, in order to put more money toward debt. So, I took the time to list out all of the regular staples I purchase, then looked on the store website to list the prices. Then, I browsed the weekly circular from the "normal-sized" local grocery stores to see if any of the items I was planning to buy could be found cheaper elsewhere. I was a little surprised to see that Sam's Club still topped the sales at the other stores on everything on my list. I was pleased that I could then accomplish so much shopping at just 1 store. (The rest of my shopping typically happens at the day-old bread store and at the Farmer's Market and/or farm co-op).

I printed my list. Since I had typed it up in an Excel spreadsheet, I also include the total sum of my expected purchases. I like knowing exactly what to expect at the cash register. It also helps me stay on budget, and not be tempted to add extra items that were not on the list.

As I was serving the kids breakfast, I explained to them my pre-planned schedule for the day. We would eat breakfast, brush teeth, get dressed, complete chores, load up in the van and be at the front door of the store by the time it opened. We had the dining room table cleaned off an wiped down, so we had plenty of space to unload the groceries when we returned home. We would breeze through the store and buy only what was on the list. (I did plan for 2 trips to the restroom while we were there, because I have little kids and also a heart patient on diuretic medication). When we got home, we would unload and put things away quickly, and have just enough time to grab scooters before walking over to the park, for the free lunch program.

Everything went smoothly and according to plan until after we parked in the store parking lot. As I was gathering up the diaper bag and shopping list, I caught sight of Jersey #5 starting to wander away. I asked Jersey #1 to hold his hand. Normally, he is happy to comply with his siblings, but in recent days he has been resisting them greatly. He is certain that he is all grown up too. As soon as she offered her hand, Jersey #5 said "no" and turned to run away from her. On reflex, I leaped for him, closing the van door in the process (so I could get around it faster). I caught his hand, pulled him close, and we waited for Jersey #4 to take her sweet time climbing out of the van, one easy going step after another. When she was out, I closed the passenger doors and started to walk to the store. That is when I realized I did not have my diaper bag on my shoulder.

Oops!

I turned back to the van and all the doors were locked. The diaper bag was locked inside the van. My wallet, cell phone, and KEYS were in the diaper bag. Oh No!

I explained the situation to the kids and had a good laugh at their reaction. Jersey #2 suggested we break in through a window. Jersey #3 was very concerned that we would not be able to buy the groceries if we did not have money.

Thinking quick on my feet, I explained that we would enter the store and borrow a phone to call The Referee. He could run over to the store from work and open the van with his key. I had no idea if he was going to be available or not, because he has a lot of work lately, and a lot of meetings to go with it. I left him a message on his voice mail and hoped he would get it soon.

In the meantime, the kids and I went through the store and filled our cart with all of the grocery items. The Referee still did not arrive, so we browsed furniture, outdoor toys, and movies. The Referee still did not arrive. I was beginning to fear he was in meetings and we would not be rescued very soon.

40 minutes before the park lunch program was suppose to start, I explained to the kids that if we could unload our groceries quickly, we could walk over to the park and have lunch there while we waited for Daddy. The kids love going to the park lunch program, so they were eager to help me put everything back. We raced through the store and completed the reverse of shopping. We put the final item back, parked the empty cart, and started toward the door....

....just as The Referee walked in, armed with the diaper bag. He had gotten my message afterall, and came to our rescue! Hooray!

I put my keys in my pocket.

I took the kids home, let them get their scooters, then we went to the park for lunch. While they were eating, I explained to them that we had to return to the store again, and actually buy the groceries. We cut play time a little shorter and headed home to get ready to load up in the van again.

Only, Jersey #5 was not on board with that plan. He started to whine, so I picked him up and held him while I waited on everyone else to use the restroom. He promptly put his head down on my shoulder and fell asleep.

Change of plans again.....we let Jersey #5 nap first. That should only be about an hour or two, and we would still have time to complete the shopping and make dinner on time.

3.25 hours later!!!!

My children nap best when I have somewhere to go.

Thankfully, after that great slumber, Jersey #5 woke up in a fabulous mood. The other children were quite cheery too, since they had enjoyed an afternoon of play and relaxation. So, I rushed them all into loading up in the van and headed back out to Sam's Club. As we got out of the van, Jersey #1 asked me if I had my keys, and I assured her that I was placing them in my pocket this time. I also personally assisted Jersey #5 out of the van, and kept a constant hold of his hand. (Clearly it is time he learns my parking lot behavior expectations....especially now that he wants to walk instead of riding in the cart....because such privelages also come with responsibility).

We were very efficient at finding all of the groceries on the list the 2nd time around.

Moving Forward

I am not sure if I should dare to say that I am starting to find a little balance to my life now. I hope to keep moving in this direction, because it is finally feeling a bit more stable.

I am not yet completing my to-do list, but I am actually reaching a point of marking items off the list. That is an improvement over my previous slow-motion week.

I think I am moving forward once again.

Jersey #2 has just completed her 3rd week of recovery following open-heart surgery. Quarantine restrictions have been lifted. She can go out and about in public once again. She is healing great. She gains more energy every day. She gets tired too, and we have to adjust our schedule for that. Since we were already in that mode prior to surgery, this still somehow seems easier. She is still restricted from swimming and contact sports, so it is a gradual re-entry into our former way of life.

Baseball, horseback riding, and vacation bible school (VBS) are filling up the calendar.

I am learning how to prepare more fresh vegetables in our meals, because The Referee is battling a food allergy of unknown source right now. As we try to pinpoint what he is allergic to, we appear to be shifting toward foods in their natural state.

We finally saved up enough money to buy Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University home study course. I have managed to watch all 13 DVD lessons in one week. I just can't believe how much we are learning about money management that we did not know before....and had never considered. It is so much more than just getting out of debt. Wow.

I am currently reading a book, along with participating in a Bible study at church, that are both helping me frame up the ways I need to grow as a mother. I am a work in progress.

The Referee and I actually managed to go out on a date Saturday night. We went to a movie. It was a celebratory date. It was the 18-year anniversary of our very first date, where we also went to a movie. 18 years seems like an incredibly long time to be together. I am not sure if we are more overwhelmed by the number, or by the flood of challenges we have endured during those years. Either way, it was a fun date night. I am glad we are together.

I have conquered the dishes, tackled two-thirds of the laundry, and mopped the dining room floor for the first time in 2 months. It is not enough to keep this home running smoothly, but it is progress.

There is a lot going on, so I hope to gain some momentum soon. Until then, I am going to just keep moving forward....

Food & Finances Friday

Last summer, we made the commitment to manage our finances according to Biblical principles. We read books, and listened to broadcasts from both Dave Ramsey and Crown Financial Ministries. We listened to their advice, and started making drastic changes to the way we viewed money matters. One of the biggest changes we made was to shred all of our credit cards and become free of debt.

(It is actually going to take us a couple more years to be entirely rid of our existing debt load, but we are moving steadily forward in the right direction).

We do not acquire new debt. We save. We budget. We plan. We pay cash. We assess needs versus wants. It is a whole new way of living for us.

It is working GREAT!

One of the ways we cut major expenses was to stop eating out at restaurants and fast food, and instead cook at home. That meant I had to learn to cook. I have not been very skilled in this area, so I have had quite a learning curve. I have finally gotten to the point of being able to make tasty meals on a regular basis, and even preparing meals for others when needed.

We are impressed with ourselves right now. But, we are even more impressed with God. He has blessed us beyond measure. Our church family, our extended family, and our friends rallied around us and gave generously to help us out with all of our travel expenses for Jersey #2's surgery. We started out with a budgeted amount in mind that we needed to save up to cover the expenses. We were given that EXACT amount by other folks. All of our needs were met....just like the Bible says....But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).

In addition, our church family has filled our freezer full of meals and continues to bring meals to the house. It is such a blessing to be able to unwind from the recent stresses and not have to worry about meal preparation or grocery shopping. The ladies from our church have really taught me that there are many, many meals that can be prepped in advance and frozen for later. I had no idea such menu options existed.

I have been re-working our household budget now that life is taking a calmer course once again. The Referee and I have been discussing our priorities for our family, making plans, and making changes to the budgeting categories.

One area I hope to improve upon is the level of financial assistance we can offer to other folks going through challenges. I thought we were fairly generous before, but I was shown a whole new level. I was so humbled by the number of folks who gave us money, in addition to tithing regularly to their church. That is generosity at its best.

The next area I hope to improve upon is preparing more meals for folks who are going through challenges. No matter how big or how small the life challenge, a meal can really ease a burden. Everyone needs to eat. So, a prepared meal can be a real show of love.

We have just received an outpouring of love and blessings from our community, in the exact areas where we have been working hard to improve...food and finances. It seems our efforts have been greatly rewarded. And, our eyes have been opened to just how helpful those things can be to a family in crisis.

Our next step is to pay it forward...

Food for Thought

After spending over 2 days in a hospital bed, hooked up to a variety of machines, Jersey #2 had to begin the work of regaining ability as she regained strength. She went from IV fluids...to drinking clear fluids...to eating again. She went from diapers...to bedpans...to a beside commode...to being able to use the actual restroom. She went from laying down...to sitting up...to standing...to walking. Even though she is 6 years old, it was a lot like getting to re-live those developmental milestones from when she was a baby.

Only, this time, those milestones were about her...not about me.

It sounds so silly to me now, but I used to place much more emphasis on those specific milestones than is even necessary. I would proudly announce when I chose to start my babies on cereal...and when and how I started fruits, vegetables, and other solid foods. I can still list the age each of my children were when they weaned from breastfeeding. I was proud of myself. Those milestones were about ME. They were about my mothering choices. I had a method that I thought was best, and I would announce it to others as if it was some sort of accomplishment.

As if everyone else should follow my style of mothering? Ridiculous!

In the hospital, each patient is treated as a separate case. There is a general trend that is followed, and guidelines for that trend. But each patient is not expected to be at the same level at the same time. The medical team knows that there are many more variables to be considered, big picture.

So why are mothering choices not treated the same way? The recommendation to begin solid foods between 4-6 months of age is actually just a guideline. So why are there debates about which time point is best? Each child is a separate case. And, there are many more variables other than age to be considered. Mothers should make those decisions about what is best for their own child, instead of following the "rules" set in place by their friends, authors of parenting books, or mothering boards on the internet.

In my experience, with my own 5 children, they did not all begin solid foods at the same age. There were more factors in effect than age, and each child is different. My priorities have changed so much, based on circumstances. I knew it all when I was a first-time Mom to Jersey #1. I was bold in voicing my feeding choices for her. I attempted to follow that same pattern with Jersey #2, and it did not work out as well. Jersey #2 had other obstacles to overcome....including surgery and taking a variety of medications starting at 2 months of age....so her feeding pattern was often disrupted. With Jersey #3, I started breaking the feeding "rules" out of necessity, and that is when I finally learned that each child truly is different and the same recommendations are really not going to fit everyone.

With Jersey #4 and Jersey #5, medical folks started asking me how I decided when to introduce solids, instead of quoting me the recommended guidelines. That is when I started to realize that the same medical community that is blamed for making the strict feeding rules that are found in the parenting debates, really aren't that strict. Feeding milestones are really just data to them. They process that data for that specific child/case. They offer suggestions based on recommendations, only if the outcome is straying away from their goal. It may sound like a law when parents are sitting in the exam room, during a well-child check-up, but it is really just background data for that case. Sometimes the advice is good, and sometimes it is not. That is for a parent to discern.

Parents really are in charge of making the nutritional decisions for their children. Parents should be the ones who know their own children better than anyone else. Therefore, they are the experts on their own children. Not the medical community. Not authors of parenting books. Not the mothering boards on the internet. Not other Mommy friends at the park. Those sources can be very convincing that their method is best for everyone. These decisions should be based on what is best for that child. It is not about the parent. It is not about me. It is about what is best for that child.


I could quote 101 reasons why breastfeeding is superior to a bottle (even a bottle of pumped breast milk)....and all of them would be irrelevant to the fact that Jersey #2 did not have the strength to nurse...or the freedom of pain-free movement to position at the breast...this first time out of bed following her first open-heart surgery. Did it matter she was getting bottle? No....all I really cared about at that time was that she was doing well enough to be in my arms again. In an instant, my priorities changed...

I could say that larger babies tend to want solids earlier, to help them feel content....or that solids helps pack on some pounds....but Jersey #2 initially thought solids were as yucky as her medicine, so she was not interested. Her medicine also caused her to drop weight, so we halted the cereal, weaned off that specific medication first, and pushed breast milk every chance we got, just to help her growth get back on track....before re-introducing cereal....

Even today, regardless of all of our attempts to help Jersey #2 hold onto calories, she is described medically as "well nourished, but very thin." Her heart is to blame. It was working so hard prior to surgery, that her metabolism was extremely high. When she hit growth spurts, her height would try to continue on its curve, but her weight kept dropping curves. We are hoping that she will be able to gain some weight, now that she has this new valve to ease the burden on her heart. It is difficult to be so thin that bones stick through her skin, because there is no barrier of protection from bumps and falls, so every little stumble hurts. We also wonder if her body is having this kind of trouble holding onto calories to grow properly, is her brain able to grow to its full potential?


It was a great milestone, 3 days after open-heart surgery, when Jersey #2 was able to sit up in bed and feed herself yogurt. She loves yogurt. She proudly announced that she could feed herself, instead of having me feed her. Did it matter what she was eating? No. It only mattered that she was feeling well enough to eat...

Jersey #2 entertained us all later that day when she ordered McDonalds for lunch. Our Pastor was coming to the hospital to visit her, and he called to ask if she wanted him to bring her anything to snack on. Jersey #2 asked for McDonalds fries and a chocolate shake. I had to ask the nurse if that was even allowed to be brought into the Cardiovascular ICU. I am certain that McDonalds is not a cardiology-approved food source. The nurse laughed and said, that the doctors did tell Jersey #2 that she could have ANYTHING that she wanted to eat, because they wanted her to move her bowels (to prove they were working fine and not damaged by surgery). The nurse joked that McDonalds food would certainly get things moving along....

It did motivate Jersey #2 to get moving out of bed and sitting into a chair to eat. Plus, I am pretty convinced that chocolate milkshakes have healing properties!

Food & Finances Friday--Teacher Gifts

Last week was "Leader Appreciate Night" at AWANA. I wanted to give a little gift to the kids' teachers, to let them know that we appreciate all of their hard work.

The problem is that there are about 18 teachers for our 4 older kids. So, gifts can become quite costly.

My brainstorm was to fix up a little gift bag of candy for each teacher. They looked cute. They were small and thoughtful. And, they didn't break the bank.

1 pack of 20 gifts bags that came with twist ties.
2 packs of assorted mini candies/candy bars.
1 eight year old who thinks it is fun to stuff gift bags.

I typed up a thank you note on a address label template, and printed it out. A single hole punch provided a way to fasten the note to the twist tie.

The kids enjoyed passing out little gifts to their teachers.

I observed that other kids brought baggies or containers of baked goods. Hmm....that gives me good ideas for next year...

Food & Finances Friday--Cowboy Boot Cake

I have been making a point to make the kids' birthday cakes homemade this year. Our budget and our lifestyle both encouraged us to be more frugal with birthday celebrations. The kids have enjoyed waking up the morning of their birthdays, to their special cakes made by Mom. I made doll cakes for Jersey #1 and Jersey #4, but I needed a cake idea that was simple enough for me, and also boy enough for Jersey #3. I found this Cowboy boot cake idea online. It was the perfect compliment to the Cowboy dress-up apparel my parents gave him.

This cake only required 1 box cake mix, 1 can of frosting, and a handful of M&Ms. I made the cake (yellow cake) in a 13x9 pan, following the mix directions. I ran a knife along the edges, to loosen it from the pan, then flipped it out onto a cutting board. With the help of The Referee holding one of Jersey #1's cowboy boots above the cake, as a pattern, I used a knife to cute the cake into the shape of a boot. It worked! (Yes, I was surprised by how easy it was to cut a cake like that...something I have never done before. All of my former cakes have been round or rectangles).

Frosting the cake was slightly trickier, because I had some broken pieces that did not leave the pan nicely, and some edges that were crumbly. The fix was to use blobs of frosting to "glue" the pieces back in place. Once again, I was surprised to see the cake still looked like a boot when I was finished frosting it.

I used blue M&Ms to give a few accents to the shape, and to put a number 5 on the cake.

Jersey #3 loved it!

Food & Finances Friday--Burnt Cookies

I totally messed up the Resurrection Cookies. The devotional and mixing process Saturday night was beautiful and memorable. The kids were really engaged. When we put the cookies into the warm oven for the night, I was suspicious that they did not look quite right.

For starters, the recipe said to place the mounds on the cookie sheet. My cookies looked more like splats...

They were still pretty splatted Sunday morning. I explained to the kids what the cookies were suppose to look like....puffed up and hollow inside (because the tomb is empty). I thought we could sample them anyway. But, when I tried to lift a cookie off the tray, it was obvious it was still quite moist.

I thought I could fix the situation. I am not sure why, because I am not skilled in the kitchen, and I have never been able to fix a failed recipe in my life.

I decided that maybe the cookies just needed more heat. So, I turned on the oven and put the cookies back in for a few minutes.....or 15 minutes, because I became distracted with the kids opening their Easter gifts.

Jersey #1 mentioned that the house was starting to fill with smoke.

I jumped up and turned off the oven, opened the doors and some windows, and turned on the vent above the stove. Thankfully, I acted fast enough to prevent the smoke alarms from going off. (Does it seem strange that I know how to clear smoke from the house, but I do not know how to fix a botched cookie recipe?)

It turns out that my splatted cookies did not rise with the additional heat. But, the wax paper they were resting on did start to turn brown, and even burned where it was touching the side of the oven.

Maybe the outcome will be better next year...

Food & Finances Friday--The Griddle

I ventured out into unfamiliar territory this week.

I made pancakes on the griddle.

I am rather intrigued by griddle cooking. I like that I could make so many pancakes at once. With the size of my family, I already have to double the batter. So, I typically stand at the stovetop and flip pancakes for a very long time. The griddle is much more efficient.

But, the thing that really captured my attention was that I did not burn any of the pancakes. I did not have to adjust the heat while I was cooking. I even left some pancakes a while when I was distracted with a tiny tot. When I returned, they were not burned.

I am wondering if this is typical of a griddle? Is it hard to burn food on a griddle? What is its magic, I wonder?

The griddle just might become a major burn-free tool in my cooking....just like my trusty crock pot.

I just need to find more counter space to use it. The top of the washer seems a little odd.

Bringing Home the Bacon

The children and I watched a movie that was set during the pioneer days. In this movie, a woman is shown trying to chase down a chicken from the hen house to butcher in order to make fried chicken for dinner.

Some children would naturally be upset by this process of getting dinner meat. Jersey #2 is apparently NOT one of those soft-natured children.

The next day, while the kids were outdoors playing "house," Jersey #2 runs inside to grab a toy. As she runs past me to return outdoors, she hollers over her shoulder that she was going out to kill a pig so her "family" could have bacon for lunch.

Food & Finances Friday--Doll Cake (#2)

I made a doll cake for Jersey #4's birthday. I attempted a Dora cake, because she picked a Dora the Explora theme this year. I am not so sure that my cake looks like Dora is wearing a dress. I think it looks more like Dora is jumping out of a cake.

The cake is a triple chocolate cake. I'm sure that will be yummy. Jersey #4 picked it out. She enjoys chocolate like her Mama.

I can't wait for Jersey #4 to wake up and see it, because I know that she will be excited. She won't care if the cake dress looks realistic or not. She is just excited about her birthday.

I still can't believe she is turning 3.