Everything but the Kitchen Sink

We spent the long weekend working on those tedious organizing projects around the house. Stacks of papers to be sorted and filed, piles of junk to be sorted and purged, along with toys everywhere! We have been working on the arrangement of the rooms of our house all year. it seems that as soon as we get down to the last room, the rest of them start to clutter up again. Anytime we leave a pile of clutter to be completed later, that clutter grows and grows and takes over.

We were so close to being done that I didn't want to lose steam. I came up with an idea that I thought was brilliant! We moved all of the piles of junk an clutter from every room of the house, and put them into the corner of the dining room. Considering the dining room only contains the table and chairs, it is easy to know what belongs and what does not belong there. We cleaned up every other room of the house first, before tackling that corner.

I told the family that we could not put up our Christmas tree until that corner was cleaned out....signifying the completion of the household organization.....because the tree goes in that corner. THAT was just the motivation we needed to work together to get the job done!

Well, I admit that we had not organized every part of the house. I was ignoring the cabinet under the kitchen sink. It was filled with cleaning supplies, paint, and other junk. This afternoon, we ended up clearing out that cabinet and purging the junk under the kitchen sink. It was not planned. I was trying to avoid it. But, alas, we had a leak under that kitchen sink, and the end of the faucet broke off and started giving us a shower every time we washed our hands.

So, on our way home from church, we stopped off at the hardware store and picked up a new faucet for the kitchen sink. Surely, replacing the faucet can't be THAT hard, right? (Especially considering we are not very handy folks in the first place).

According to the instructions (and according to The Referee), the hardest part is removing the old faucet....

Before he did that part, we purged all of the junk out from under the cabinet.

By the end of this long weekend, we completed the task of organizing the entire house, including under the kitchen sink...

Plus replacing the broken faucet... Plus, replacing the cold water supply hose, which turned out to be the source of the leak.

Food & Finances Friday--Black Friday

Wake Up, It's Time To S-H-O-P!!!

Black Friday. The day after Thanksgiving. A day filled with crazy discount deals and crazy shoppers. I am one of those crazy people who loves to get a good deal....loves to get up early and race through the stores...ignoring the fact that it the sun is not up, and the stores are filled with mobs of crazy people! Call me crazy!

As I have been trying to learn better money management habits through the years, I have had a strange love-hate relationship with shopping, even on Black Friday. I loved the adventure and excitement, and saving all kinds of money. Until later, when buyer's remorse would set in. At some point I would wise up to the fact that I was spending money, not saving money. I would have saved a lot more money if I would have just stayed out of the stores in the first place!

A little over a year ago, I decided to change course. I quit shopping. I stayed out of the stores as much as I could. I stopped looking at sales ads. I did most of the shopping for the kids birthdays online, where the numbers and totals were always in focus. I did not participate in the Black Friday fun last year. I hardly bought any toys, shoes, or clothes at all.

Instead, I filled my time purging the stuff out of our house. I purged clothes. I purged toys. I purged shoes. I filled bags and bags of clothes and passed them along to younger kids. I took inventory of what amount of clothes, shoes, and toys were actually used regularly. I reminded myself that we are greatly blessed with extended family who buy for the kids with every birthday, Christmas, and many holidays in-between.

Our children have grandparents who spoil them well. So, I did not need to budget for all of their clothes and shoes, as their grandparents and Aunts like to buy these things too. Instead, we are able to focus on specific clothing items, such as sports uniforms and Christmas/Easter dress clothes. We can focus on educational toys or items needed for a sport or activity that the kids are involved in.

It took me time to re-align my priorities away from the stuff.

This year, I am armed with a very strong, very organized Christmas shopping budget. Credit cards are not an option. I brainstormed gift ideas in advance. I listed my ideas out in columns on a spreadsheet. Each time I purchase an item on the list, I enter the total on the spreadsheet. This method is helping me to stay completely within the budgeted amount for each child. It is helping me to focus only on those items that the kids really want/need.

This year, I am enjoying shopping again. I look at sales ads and scan for the specific items on my list.....keeping any eye out for the best price I can find. This year, I set an alarm and woke up early to join the crowds of crazy people seeking Black Friday discounts.

I have had a blast shopping today! I am home now, just thrilled by how well I managed to buy some items on my list at such reduced sale prices. I had a good time being out in the crowds. I got some great deals. Most exciting of all, I stuck to my budget! Score!

An added bonus to my shopping fun today is that I found adorable Christmas dressy outfits for the kids, at Black Friday sale prices!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We have so much to be thankful for. This year, we enjoyed a HUGE Thanksgiving feast at my sister's house. My parents, and my Granny joined us there too. The kids were so excited that they just could not sleep at all during the entire 3-hour car trip, even though we got them up a little earlier than usual to get on the road. We filled the day with food, fun, and family. Here are some of my favorite pictures from Thanksgiving Day 2009...

PawPaw surprised the kids by crawling under the trampoline and making it bounce from below while they were jumping on it! (Granny provided the reindeer ears (along with new shoes, and candy) that Jersey #3 wore all day long.)

We discovered that Jersey #5 is probably very close in weight to Jersey #4 now. He was only trailing her by 3 pounds in early October. He was able to hold her in the air while they teeter tottered together.

We hit the road again when the boys were too exhausted to visit anymore. Jersey #5 was asleep less than a minute after his seat belt was strapped....and before the rest of us could finish loading up. Both boys slept the entire trip home. Jersey #3 wore his reindeer ears whole time.

Walk Away The Stress

I have been very overwhelmed by the power of stress lately. Even though it does me no good to worry, I found myself caught up in a lot of "what ifs" regarding Jersey #2 enduring another open-heart surgery. My biggest fear is what if something goes wrong...fatally wrong....

It's been keeping me awake at night. My mind races constantly. My stomach is in knots, clenched, and churning. My muscles have been so tense, especially my shoulders and neck, which yield to headaches. Stress is very unhealthy.

Since I've been struggling to find peace of mind, I decided to tackle the physical symptoms physically. I dug out my aerobic style DVDs. Leslie Sansone has an entire Walk Away the Pounds in-home walking exercise program. I like her style, and have a few of her DVDs. I've always planned to use the DVDs to workout regularly, to increase fitness and lose weight. Needless to say, I have not been very consistent with that idea.

Desperate times call for drastic measures. This past week, I have been walking 2-3 miles a day with this DVD program. I tend to the kids first, and then inform them that I am starting my workout and will not be filling sippy cups or fixing snacks, or anything like that until I am done. They have been pretty cooperative so far, sometimes even joining me for a bit (until they get bored and run off to play). I workout for as much as I can physically stand, until I am ready to drop.

I have heard people say that exercise is invigorating and reduces stress. I am now a believer. I know that some folks enjoy working out. Some folks are so disciplined that they feel off their routine if they miss a workout. I have not been that way. I've been lazy.

Now, I understand that aerobic exercise gets the circulation flowing. It loosens tension in the muscles. It gets more oxygen to the brain, helping me feel more alert to face my life. My body relaxes after I make it sweat.

The best part for me right now is that sore muscles distract my brain. When my mind is racing with worry, it is immediately derailed when I make a movement that triggers soreness in my muscles. It could be as simple as reaching for something and feeling the "ooh, I didn't know I had that muscle" feeling. That soreness sensation distracts my brain from its what-ifs negative feedback loop, in an "ooh look, something shiny!" manner.

Exercise does not bring peace of mind. I know that the peace I need comes only from God. I've been on my knees in prayer, and in Bible study too. I'm a work in progress. But, I am thankful that I can temporarily distract my brain from all its worry, by pushing my muscles to new limits.

I've also learned that exercise does indeed aid in weight loss. What a fantastic side effect! My walk-away-the-stress program happens to walk-away-the-pounds too!

AWANA Grand Prix

It's Race Time!

Each Fall, the AWANA program hosts a pinewood derby, called the AWANA Grand Prix. It is a fun, competitive event that aims to get fathers involved with their children, and also involved in the AWANA program.

The competition consists of taking a pinewood block and cutting it and sanding it to shape it as desired. Weights must be added to get the car as close to 5 ounces as possible, without going over. The car kit comes with axels and "official" Awana Grand Prix wheels. I am pretty sure that the magic behind the whole competition is figuring out how to get those crazy wheels to work properly! Cars are painted and decorated as desired. There is a design competition as well as a speed competition. For the race portion, each car runs 4 races....once on each of 4 colored tracks (red, blue, green, & yellow--the official AWANA colors). The cars are awarded points based on which place they arrived for each race. Those points are added together and the highest total wins the competition.

This year was our family's 3rd year participating. We have no handy wood carving/car making skills whatsoever, so we learn a little more each year. The first year we participated, Jersey #1 entered a race car that never completed the race. After a few attempts, a wheel fell off completely! The 2nd year, our oldest 3 kids each entered a car. Our goal was to finish the race with the wheels intact. All of the cars took last place in all of their races, except for a 3rd place score once. We considered that a drastic improvement! The Referee actually had to drill out a bit of the wood block on Jersey #3's "train" car, because he had added so much paint, it took the car over the allowed weight limit!

Paint. Oh Joy! Our kids think that painting and decorating their cars is the most exciting part of the event. According to the rules, the clubber (the kid enrolled in AWANA) is suppose to do the sanding and the painting of their cars. Parents are allowed to help with the wood cutting and the wheels. It became quite clear to us that first year, that there were some cars that were never touched by a child! Some of the designs and paintings were quite gorgeous, and clearly the work of a very excited (competitive) parent.

Our family attends the workshop where folks with the tools and knowledge assist us in building the cars. Each year, we learn more and require less assistance. I am not sure how many years it will take before we are confident enough to buy some of the tools for our home! We have the kids pick out which design they would like for their cars, and the older kids help trace out their design in pencil on the wood block. The Referee cuts the cars into their shape with the help of the workshop tools and assistants. The kids sand their cars (very little, because they find that job to be quite boring).

I have the pleasure of supervising the painting part at home. This year, I felt brave enough to advance a little from washable paints applied with brushes, to spraypaint. We went outside in the afternoon and I attempted to teach each of the older 3 kids how to paint their car with spraypaint. They had a blast!

It just so happened that Jersey #4 was napping that afternoon, so I spraypainted her car instead. I am pretty sure that was for the best!

Even though spraypaint dries rather quickly, our kids thought it was torture to have to wait for the paint to dry before they could decorate their cars. I brought out stencils, markers, and stickers, and let each kids decorate their own car with their own sense of style.

I added their number stickers, and superglued the weights. The Referee pounded in the axels and attached the wheels. We did not let the kids touch their cars again until race day....because we learned the hard way last year that Jersey #3 likes collisions, which really deforms those crazy wheels!

Race day was a blast. Thankfully, all of the cars made it down the track with their wheels intact. We did not have fast cars, by any stretch of the imagination!

Much to our surprise, Jersey #1 won a trophy this year. Her race car took 1st place for design, in the "truck" category. It turns out that her red truck was the only truck entered in the Sparks division. The majority of her friends made pink or purple race cars this year (with princess or Hannah Montanna themes).

Jersey #1 made a red pick-up truck. She drew a Christmas tree on the truck bed, as if it were hauling a tree.

Not so young

I played volleyball tonight. I had so much fun. We were short players on the team, so we got a really, really good workout tonight! I was all over the place....digging, setting, twisting, turning, serving, jumping, reaching, blocking, hitting....well, I was trying to do those things, at least! I was having fun, feeling good, and laughing with my teammates.

It has only been about 5 hours, and already my muscles are yelling at me. I wonder if I will be able to get out of bed tomorrow.

I joined a women's intermediate volleyball team this Fall. The league holds games on weekend evenings, so I get a chance to get away and play while The Referee takes care of the kids. Until this Fall, I had not played competitive volleyball since my sophomore year of high school.

Tonight, my body is reminding me that I am not in high school anymore!

Food & Finances Friday--Switching Things Around

We've switched to a new insurance company. After spending/wasting all of the daylight hours given in one day, I managed to find us MUCH CHEAPER auto and homeowner's insurance. It all worked out nicely that the new insurance kicked in the day that the previous insurance ended. The new insurance company seemed excited to add us. The old insurance company was very casual about losing us. I thought they might ask why they were losing profit customers after 4 years. But, no, they didn't seem to care at all. Odd folks.

I took the insurance savings amount and moved it over to the medical expenses line item of our budget. It became quite clear, recently, that we needed to budget much more money for medical expenses. Of course, those bills are flowing in almost daily this month. I had a couple days of dreading checking the mail. I have to keep reminding myself that it was not always like this, and it won't always be like this....it's just the way we roll right now. The budget is adjusting.

In an attempt to plan savings for the upcoming surgery expenses, I asked The Referee to track down more details about our medical insurance. After paying our co-pay for office visits, we have an annual deductible to meet, before the insurance company will pay 90% of our medical costs. The remaining 10% is termed "co-insurance," which really means our out-of-pocket expense. Thankfully, there is a maximum co-insurance that we are responsible for in a given year. I am so grateful for this, because 10% of a quarter-to-a-half-million dollar open-heart surgery is A LOT of money!!!! I am so glad we do not have to pay that. Instead, we pay a maximum of $3000 in expenses classified in the "co-insurance" category. Whew! So, my next budgeting priority is saving up for co-insurance, along with the travel expenses, and post-surgery medication & frequent cardiology check-up expenses.

I'm confident that we can do this! We've completely turned our budgeting habits around in the past 4 months, so I am hoping that our efforts will continue to grow and improve. Time will tell....

Adventures of Potty Training

I am rather excited that Jersey #4 is potty trained now! She had a sudden boost of independence over the past two weeks, and started letting me know when she needed to potty. I like potty training independence! After she had an entire day of remaining dry and using her potty chair on her own, I started to see the light at the end of the potty train tunnel. I started encouraging her to use the toilet last week. As soon as she was comfortable with the toilet at home, I knew we were set to start going out in public (because she could use toilets in public, instead of preferring her potty chair). We both seem to have gained potty training confidence with our public outings over the weekend. Now, I hardly think twice about it. I've got a spare set of pants and underwear in the diaper bag, in case she has an accident. Otherwise, she is diaper-free all day long! Wahoo! (We still put in her in a diaper at night, as our kids sleep hard and do not wake to use the restroom on their own until around ages 4-6)

Jersey #4 had the most entertaining struggle while she was potty training. After she learned the concept, the process, and how to use her potty chair, she started to question if she really wanted to grow up like this. For 3 days in a row, she would use her potty chair once....we would high-5, praise, cheer, and reward with a few chocolate chips.....and then she would request a diaper. She would specifically tell me she wanted a "baby one," meaning a diaper, not a pink Princess Pull-up, like she had previously been using. She would not use her potty chair again for the rest of the day. She even had a couple moments of joking about using one of her brother's pacifiers. She was exploring life as a baby, before she decided it would be more fun to be a big girl. On the 4th day, she refused to use her potty chair at all. On the 5th day of this struggle, she decided she was a big girl, not to be confused with Jersey #5 who was clearly a baby! It was then that she started to use her potty chair every time, even if she was wearing a diaper or a Pull-up. It was then that I saw a glimpse of her strong will working to my advantage!

Here is our Jersey #4, who has decided to use the potty like a big girl...

She gained this independence an entire month earlier in age than her two older sisters (and a full year earlier than her older brother.) She has been our quickest, easiest, and cleanest potty training child by far!

Apparently, she made potty training look like a lot of fun, because Jersey #5 tried out the potty chair a few times himself... (yes, he is sitting on the potty chair while wearing a diaper)

But, I don't think he is quite ready to start potty training just yet....

Rest

Last night, I was finally able to rest. It was my first good night's sleep in 5 days.

This past week has been a struggle for me. The stress had consumed me. I was exhausted by dinner time, going to bed early with a headache, tossing and turning, startling awake repeatedly as my mind raced through the details of our life, and waking up with a headache. I was nauseous during most of the daylight hours. My shoulder and neck muscles were tense.

I tried to distract myself by going through the motions of my daily life. I tried to focus on fixing any physical needs I was lacking--making sure to eat regular meals, attempting to go to bed an hour early to gain more sleep, drinking more fluids in case the headaches were from dehydration, taking Tylenol and Motrin to curb the headaches, drinking caffeinated soda to try to curb the headaches, working out to an in-home walking DVD I have (trying to relax my muscles, and get my circulation flowing). The Referee massaged my shoulders and neck. He offered to tend to any children at night, so I could sleep. He even cleaned up the kitchen one night, and bought breakfast burritos the next morning (so we wouldn't dirty the kitchen again for a little while). In spite of all our efforts, the physical outcome of my stress continued to worsen. I was falling apart.

I turned to all my resources. I prayed. I talked to my husband. I prayed. I talked with my friends in Bible Study. I prayed. I made plans with friends. I talked to my husband some more. I prayed. For the first time in my life, I was not finding the words to articulate what was so wrong with me. I had no explanation. I was weary and felt like collapsing on the floor, in a puddle of tears.

Friday evening, I decided to just go to bed the minute The Referee returned home from work. I decided that I was just going to attempt to sleep the evening and the night away, and hope that the act of being in bed would help my body find the rest it desperately needed. I gave up trying to find a way to get my mind to stop racing. I climbed into bed and began to get cozy under the covers. Offering a casual thought as he was getting ready to leave the room, my husband gave me the solution to the problem that I did not realize I was struggling with.

He simply reminded me of the advice I once gave him (6 years ago). He said, "You know, there is really no way we are going to be able to prepare for tragedy. There is nothing we are going to be able to do now that will make it easier to deal with the tragedy if it happens."

So True.

Then he said, "You know, I was thinking that I'd like to spend more time making fun family memories during these next 6 months, instead of wasting the time waiting in fear."

I spent 2 hours laying in bed, letting his words seep around my head, destroying all my racing thoughts. My body was still tense, my heart was still heavy, my stomach was still knotted, but my thoughts were starting to clear.

Fun Family Memories

What a fantastic focus! It would be so much nicer to put all this restless energy into organizing fun things to do together, as a family. Together, making memories. That would be a much nicer way to spend these next 6 months while we wait for the surgery that is going to disrupt our way of life.

I jumped out of bed and met up with my family in the living room. After suggesting family movie night, we all loaded up in the van and ran to the store to pick up a cheese pizza and a couple DVD movies with Christmas themes. We added a bag of M&Ms for dessert. We stayed up late watching movies, munching on pizza & candy, cuddling together under blankets. It was fun!

By the time I returned to bed, I was beyond exhausted, but much happier. Unfortunately, I still did not sleep well. Since my head was much clearer, I was able to grasp what was still troubling me. I decided to get up and face it. I startled my husband by getting up at 4:30 am, but I was on a mission to face our reality. There were two stacks of papers piling up on the kitchen counter. Bills had been pouring in for the past 10 days. I had not even opened some of them. I was certain that I had built up the unknown to be much worse than necessary. I decided to get organized. I cleared off the table, moved the piles, and settled in and sorted. I made a stack of all of the insurance paperwork (knowing it is time to switch to a new insurance company). I made a stack of all the medical bills (knowing this was the payday that we would pay them in full). I made a stack of all of the coupons, flyers, and sales ads (knowing it is time to plan Christmas gifts to make certain we stay on budget). I was even able to throw out a stack of unnecessary paper trash.

By the time the family woke up, I had 3 neat, compact piles. I had a grasp on the medical bills, and they were not as a large as I had envisioned. The knot in my stomach was releasing. The Referee and I made a list of errands we each needed to run that day. We even planned a way to take a family photo for our Christmas cards! Already, my shoulder & neck muscles were starting to relax.

By lunch time, our family had completed a series of errands all around town, and were home together again. We ate lunch, bathed, and dressed in our matching shirts to take a family picture. Our afternoon was spent visiting friends...first to have a friend take our picture, followed by enjoying ourselves at 2 different birthday parties. My tensions were eased by all we accomplished. My energy was enhanced by all of that social interaction! (I'm an extrovert!) My belly was full from those great meals I did not have to prepare. My heart was full of the love of our friends, and the joy of having fun as a family! By the time we loaded back up into the van to return home, I was pleasantly exhausted and looking forward to some real sleep.

I went to bed an hour earlier than usual, and slept very well. My heart was filled with love and joy. My stomach had no trace of knots. My muscles relaxed and found rest. My mind completed the race and found rest. I thanked God for all His blessings in my life, especially for my husband...whose logical suggestion helped me find rest.

Miracle

This is where we were 6 years ago today...

Standing by her bedside, in the intensive care unit of a high-tech Children's hospital, praying that all of those machines, tubes, wires, and medications would sustain her life while we waited to see if surgery had been successful.

Our Jersey #2 endured a 6-hour long open-heart surgery. Her heart was stopped completely for 90 minutes, while a heart/lung machine attempted to simulate the actions of the heart to keep her body alive. The most amazing surgeon worked meticulously to re-arrange the plumbing of her heart, putting everything back where it belonged, and closing up holes that had been left open. Left untreated, her condition was fatal. The surgeon did his best to try to give her a chance at life.

She was only 2 months old.

I've enjoyed looking at these pictures many times through the years. They have always been images of our past. Proof of how far we've come. Her very life is a miracle.

I look at these pictures so differently today. Now, they are images of our future. A frightening experience we are about to repeat. Another 6 hour long open-heart surgery. Praying those machines, tubes, wires, and medications will sustain her life while we wait to see if surgery was successful....waiting to see if she will get another chance at life.

This is Jersey #2 today...

Her very life is a miracle.

A Handful

It appears, I've got my hands full...

At least that is what I keep hearing. Every time I am out in public with at least 3 to 5 of my children, someone....or many someones....makes the comment, "You've got your hands full."

I usually just smile and answer, "Yes I do!"

For the most part, people are just being friendly. They don't have anything original to say, but they don't appear to mean any harm by their comments. It appears to be the generally accepted statement to make when meeting a family with more than the recommended 2.1 children.

The comment actually bugs me.

It bugs me that I have to restrain myself from saying what I am actually thinking. What I would really like to answer is...


"Better full than empty!"


I would rather have my hands full raising a team of children, than to have the ache of empty arms. Been there. Done that. I've got the heart wounds to prove it.

There was a time in my life when I was a Mother, but I had no living children. That pain was more than I could handle. Death itself appeared to me to be an easier route, than living a life with an empty crib, and a broken heart.

When I was finally blessed with my first living child, I still felt like I was holding my breath, anticipating that her tiny life would be taken from me at any moment. That emotion was justified with the experiences of our 2nd living child's fragile heart. I did not exhale until our 3rd living child was born. With 3 living children, I started to relax. I started to breathe. I started to rationalize that the odds were quite low that I would ever be a Mother without any living children, ever again.

Better full than empty

Thankfully, with the arrival of our 4th living child, I was able to focus on the joys of motherhood, instead of the fear of empty arms. With the arrival of our 5th living child, I know that I am just truly blessed!

I've certainly got my hands full.
I prefer it that way!

Insurance Blanks

Just when I thought that we have dealt with the worst that the credit card companies and insurance companies had to offer, we receive the statement about our new home owners insurance premiums. Much like the automobile insurance (we have both with the same company), our homeowners insurance premiums are about to go up in price. The company included the same form letter, explaining their "insurance credit" scoring formula that supposedly somehow ties into our credit report. Only this time, they should have proofread their letter, because the first explanation of why our premiums are increasing was blank.

BLANK

They sent us a letter that says that our rate increase was due to the following reasons....and they gave 2 reasons.....

1)

Number 1 was completely blank!

2) Lack of Department/Furniture Store Credit Account Information

What? You have got to be kidding me! Are these people nuts? They can't even offer a primary reason for the rate increase. And, then they are complaining because we do not have credit cards at furniture stores or department stores?

How does this relate to our homeowner's insurance?

What happened to getting good rates because we are not arsonists, we haven't had to file any claims with them (thankfully), and our premiums are faithfully paid in full every year?

Ugh.

Ok, enough blog ranting. Time to shop around for a new insurance company.

May the Force Be With You...

We have a few Star Wars costumes in our dress-up clothes collection. The Referee is a big fan of Star Wars. He was thrilled when Jersey #1 decided to watch the entire collection of DVDs, (repeatedly) when she was sick with the flu.

That sparked an entire fashion show of Star Wars characters...(and Batman)...

Jedi Asuka...

Yoda...

Padme...

Princess Leia & Yoda...

Jedi Asuka

Padme....(ready for battle)....

Princess Leia's hair buns must be off their center of balance....

Baby Yoda...

See Me...You Cannot!

The Force is strong in this family.

Blessings

Count your blessings
Name them one by one.
Count your many blessings,
See what God hath done...
(Hymn words by: Johnson Oatman, Jr.)

Reflecting on our current situation of impending heart surgery for Jersey #2, I see many blessings that surround us

• The Referee's employer's open-enrollment news: The medical insurance option offered will see an 11% increase in premium costs, BUT coverage will remain the same! (This is better news than most companies are currently offering).
  
• We are already familiar with this insurance coverage, so that will help us to plan for expenses and budget accordingly
• This insurance is not local, so referring Jersey #2 to the state where her original surgeon is located, should go smoothly
• The surgeon and the children's hospital where he works are in our insurance network
• We have 6 months to continue saving for the medical and travel expenses required
• Jersey #2 will have time to complete the school year, and all sports and activities she is currently involved in, so she won't feel like she is missing out
  
• Granny & PawPaw have bravely volunteered to care for our other 4 children, so that we can focus our energy and attention on Jersey #2 during her surgery and hospitalization...even if it takes 2 full weeks! (We are sure Nana, Aunt, and Great-Granny will help spoil the kids while they are there).
  
• I have 6 months to potty train Jersey #4, and wean Jersey #5 from the pacifier, to make caring for them much easier on Granny & PawPaw!
• We will finish this school year and be on summer break for surgery and recovery
• The surgeon made all the tough decisions about the surgery type (open-heart), the valve type (donated human valve), with very logical and convincing reasons
  
• Jersey #2 endured the H1N1 flu, which was quite mild compared to her experience with the seasonal flu a couple years ago....so that fear is behind us and she should have natural immunity to carry her through winter.
• 6 out of 7 members of our Home Team endured the flu already. (We have no clue why Jersey #5 was not infected....unless he has some natural defense due to battling RSV & croup [both are upper respiratory viruses, also] this past year. Or maybe because he eats so much dirt.)
  
• We no longer need to worry about the decision of whether or not to utilize the newly created H1N1 flu vaccine....nor worry about its lack of availability, even for high risk individuals
• Jersey #2 is only "mildly high risk," because of her heart condition, and specifically because of her valve condition. Otherwise, she is amazingly healthy for a heart patient. She is currently on no medication. She has no activity restrictions. That status should not worsen before surgery.
• The Referee has 1 week of leave already saved up, and now has 6 months to save more. We do not anticipate any problems with him taking paid leave from his job for a couple weeks, around the time of surgery.
• The surgeon may be able to place a valve that is near-adult sized, which might carry Jersey #2 into adulthood before it would need to be replaced.
• All of her cardiology tests and procedures were reviewed by 2 sets of cardiologists, surgeons, and radiologists, at 2 different medical centers, in 2 different states, and ALL AGREE that it is time for this next step in her care.
• Her surgeon is world-renowned in his specialty, which happens to be her exact heart condition. He and his staff are mindful of the risks of the heart/lung bypass machine, and work hard to minimize time on that machine. He is also known for changing course once he is inside the heart, if he sees that the current plan is not going to work well. He is willing to explain every detail of his work, and takes the time to answer all of our questions directly. He works great with her cardiologist, which makes for very smooth, coordinated care.
• We know many prayer warriors who are covering our family with prayers
  
• We are confident that Jersey #2 is receiving the best medical treatment this world has to offer. There are no guarantees....but we have peace in knowing she is getting the best possible shot at life
  
• We know her life is in God's hands...and that is where real peace comes from...
  

So amid the conflict
Whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged
God is over all. ...

Waiting for the Phone to Ring

The cardiologist's call finally came. The wait was 3 weeks and 1 day, not the 2 weeks originally suggested. The suspense was dragged out, but the news was expected. The entire team agrees that it is now time for Jersey #2's next heart surgery. She needs a new pulmonary valve placed, because the mesh patch currently in her heart, is no longer covering the job. The right ventricle (lower chamber) of her heart is getting too big, because it is working too hard. It is affecting her activity level. It is affecting her growth. It is no longer safe to live this way. The doctors feel it is wisest to wait until after flu season to perform the surgery. So, open-heart surgery is predicted for May, just 6 months from now.

6 months.

Six must be our magic number. It has only been 6 years since her first surgery. 6 years this month. We were told by the surgeon that day, that she would require a new valve later in life. We knew this was coming. We can't say we are shocked. So why do I still feel numb?

She is only 6 years old.

The original goal was to get her to adulthood before she would need that valve. It didn't take too many cardiology check-ups to prove that the mesh would not hold up until adulthood. Each check-up brought a new goal line...adulthood, adolescence, age 12, age 10....

or now, at age 6.

They promised me 6 years ago, that they would not let her get too sick before deciding to do this next surgery. I am glad they kept their word. She is still strong and active.

I just hope that I am strong enough too...

Food & Finances Friday--What am I missing?

The Referee & I had to sit down and have another financial brainstorming session recently. We appear to be leaking funds, which was straining our budget. We wanted to find the source of the problem and mend it. It has been just over 3 months since we started getting extremely serious about our budget. We shredded the credit cards the end of July, breaking the debt cycle completely. No new debt. We made the commitment to live entirely within our means.

Obviously, we would not be in the financial mess we are in, if we had applied any number of common sense principles to our money from the start. Since we lacked that common sense, we chose to listen to and study the principles laid out in the Crown Money Map, and Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover. We were convinced by their logic that it was in our best interest to lower our standard of living and work hard to get out of debt. And, that is just what we have been trying to do.

The first step to breaking the debt cycle was to set up an emergency fund of $1000 in a savings account. It seems that the vast majority of unexpected expenses cost less than $1000. That has held pretty true for us. We have certainly had a series of unexpected expenses too.....the death of a dog, car repairs, plumbing, more car repairs, dental work, etc. Our emergency fund has served us well to enable us to pay cash for these expenses, instead of adding credit card debt. Looking back over the past quarter, I'd say that this emergency fund step has proven successful.

The second step is to apply every extra penny we can squeeze out of our budget, to the existing credit card debt. This was the step that I was so very anxious to tackle, at the time that we shredded those cards. I could not wait to knock off those debts and be rid of them. We brainstormed a list of ideas for how to build a "snowball" of money to put towards the debt. We sold things in a yard sale, on Craig's List, and on Ebay. We lowered our food and gas expenses, cut out some activities, and made a series of lifestyle changes to reduce costs.

Our intensity was good. But, it did not have the effect that I was hoping. It has been a much slower process than I'd prefer. Coincidentally, at this very time that we were cutting costs to add money to the debt payments, those very debt payments were increasing due to various credit card company games (increased interest rates, increased minimum payments, etc). Thankfully, our efforts were enough to allow us to remain current with all of our creditors....and to have a tiny bit of extra to pay on the principle. I do not know how other debtors are handling this credit card madness right now! Every time we have to dip into our emergency fund, we divert the "extra" funds away from our debt snowball, until our emergency fund is fully funded once again. Even though I know this system works, it still frustrates me that the debt is just not going down faster!

Lately, it seems to be a challenge just to keep our emergency fund fully funded. That is what inspired a new brainstorming session. Surely we must be doing something wrong, if we are dipping into our emergency fund so frequently. What am I missing?

Medical.

We found the answer--medical expenses. We have been bombarded with doctor-related expenses and dentist-related expenses lately. That assault is not going to ease up anytime soon (and I won't even start stressing about how negatively we are going to be hit by the health care legislation the government is currently pushing). Our week of family flu cost us $100, just in office visit copays and prescriptions. We have fairly decent insurance coverage, compared to what's currently available. Even so, the 10% we pay for medical procedures really adds up when we are talking about the field of cardiology. The 20% we pay for dental work really adds up when two kids need work on at least 2 teeth each. I have not yet figured out the math on prescriptions. (My experience has been that if we have the funds, our copay on prescriptions is small. If we are low on funds, those prescription copays are huge!)

I've paid at least $600 in dental bills last month, with a possibility of more to be billed soon (after we see what the insurance is willing to pay). The compilation of bills that have arrived from the 1 cardiology check-up in August, has tallied over $300 already. (I flinch at the thought of what the bills will look like from that MRI procedure last month....those bills have not started pouring in yet). Add that to the $100 flu, and $40 in copays for well-child visits, and I literally wrote checks to cover over $1000 worth of medical bills in one month!

It is easy for me to see where our monthly budget plan is falling short. I budgeted $80. I spent $1040. Um, yeah, that math does not equate!

It was easy for the Referee to see how we've gotten into so much debt. He was thinking eating out and impulse buying can only get us so far.....especially considering we've been steadily cutting down on those behaviors over time. In the past, before we established an emergency fund, we would simply charge the credit cards with all of those "extra" medical expenses that did not fit into our budget.

Ouch! That really adds up. $20 copays every time we visit the doctor. A $600 annual deductible that we meet faithfully every year, before the insurance will kick in and pay its portion of the expenses. 10% of all medical expenses. 20-50% of all dental expenses. 10-30% of prescription costs. All that on top of our portion of the insurance premiums that the employer takes out before the paycheck arrives.

For the average, healthy family, these percentages would not be so expensive. For us, these percentages are a blessing, especially considering our complete lack of alternative insurance options. The Referee has been willing to deny himself certain career options in order to work for companies who can offer us this insurance. Our budget looks at these percentages and screams CARDIOLOGY IS EXPENSIVE! We have been willing to pay higher percentages, in order to receive a certain quality of care for our children. Investing in our family's health like this, carries a large price tag.

Somehow, we need to find a way to fit that price into our budget. With a heart surgery looming in our future, the numbers are going to go up for a while, before they can come down again. That is our reality, and there is no sense in whining about it.

During our brainstorming session, The Referee and I approached the situation from 2 very different directions. I took the emotional route, and advertised our need to back off from being disappointed that the debt is not reducing fast enough.....and replace that with praise for the debt still decreasing slowly, when our circumstances would suggest it should increase. I realize now that I need to keep cheering us on for breaking the debt cycle, and staying committed to that!

The Referee took a more calculated approach and declared that we need more income in the short term.....and we need to consider looking for a way to get better medical coverage in the long term. Since the long term ideas involve job change and possible relocation, those are on hold until surgery is complete, and the impact of the government's actions are known. For the short term goal, we are seeking additional employment, tightening the purse strings even more, and looking for more junk to sell off.

We must increase the medical line item in our budget.

Mail Call

Greeting cards arrived in the mail the other day....

The cards were from Granny & PawPaw. Granny takes the time to send each of her grandkids a greeting card for all of the major holidays....and their birthdays. The kids really look forward to their mail. There are goodies inside....a card, a balloon, stickers, and a dollar for a treat!

When I was in college, Mom used to send me greeting cards, little notes, and a dollar for a treat! I got just as excited as the kids do now. It is nice to be treated with such care and thoughtfulness.

The contents of the greetings from Granny did not always include a balloon. She sent balloons in birthday cards. There was a time when Jersey #3 insisted that his envelope had a balloon. I had to go get him a balloon out of my party supplies just to appease him. After that, Granny makes sure to send a balloon with every card.

In addition, the grandbabies receive a greeting card from Granny & PawPaw for the 4th of July. This is not a typical greeting card holiday. But, when Jersey #1 was in preschool, she asked Granny how come she doesn't send a card for the 4th of July. As a result, that holiday was added to Granny's list!

Our children are also spoiled with gifts, cards, and treats from their Nana, and their Aunts. They are lucky kids.

Even so, when we check the mail, I am usually asked, "Did we get a card from Granny today?"

Bath Time

Bath time is so much fun! Sometimes, the children can hardly wait to make a splash...

Jersey #5 dove right into the tub, fully clothed (including diaper) while I was distracted assisting his sister with her clothes. He was entertained by my gasp! He continued to play and splash (fully clothed), while I went to get the camera. He saw nothing wrong with the situation.....even though we don't normally take baths with our clothes on....

Well, not often, anyway....

It turns out that Jersey #1 did the EXACT same thing when she was a toddler. She was 15 months old at the time. She jumped into the tub, fully clothed, when her Daddy had his back turned to set out a towel in preparation for her bath.....