Domestic Christmas

Christmas has not even arrived yet, and I am already blessed with the most amazing gifts.

A few months ago, The Referee took a second job that may end up becoming a new career opportunity in the future.  For now, it is a means to bring in some extra income to reduce our debt.  Since he knew he would be working a ton of hours, and not able to visit very often, he encouraged the kids by telling them that we would take a portion of his earnings and pick a nicer Christmas gift this year.  The kids have their eyes on DS handheld systems, and tablets.  I saw the opportunity to get a Kitchen Aide mixer.

My sister bought a Kitchen Aide mixer a couple years ago, and loved it.  I could not swing the expense at the time, but I have been listening to her positive comments about how nice it is.  I have scoped them out each year when they go on sale.  This year, I was able to take advantage of a Black Friday sale and get a red mixer that matches my kitchen.  Merry Christmas to me!  

Since they wanted me to do some pre-Christmas baking, The Referee and the kids offered that I could open my present early this year.  We joked that we could just put the empty box under the tree, and I will act surprised.  The first item I made with my new mixer was a batch of brownies for Jersey #1's class party.  Brownies are my favorite dessert, so that was perfect too.

The Christmas gift I was not expecting arrived this evening.

I went out to my van after church, and discovered a cute gift basket filled with home-made laundry detergent, fabric softener, and cleaning products.  

A friend had mentioned she was putting something in my van, just before church began, and I did not give it much thought.  I had items in the back of my van that I was going to be transferring to another friend that night too.

I was sitting at a table with  a group of ladies, talking about my big project to clean and organize my house before the New Year.  We were engaged in a lovely discussion about trying to keep a house clean when we have kids around to build up clutter.  In the midst of our conversation, the topic of home-made laundry soap popped up.  That was something I had been meaning to try out a year ago.  I had even started collecting my empty laundry detergent containers to store it in.  (Then tragedy struck my life and any project that was more than basic survival was dismissed).  

Jersey #2 had been helping me conquer the mountain of laundry this week.  She has been telling me that we are almost out of detergent and need to go to the store.  That got me thinking I really need to look into the homemade detergent idea again.

So, when the ladies started talking about homemade laundry detergent, fabric softener, and cleaning products, I started paying close attention.  I was drilling my friend with various questions about her methods.  After the 3rd or 4th question, she told me that a sample of the products she makes and uses....along with their recipes....was included in the items she put in my van.

Hallelujah!  

I had no idea that she was filling such a need in my life when she asked if she could put something in my van tonight.

God is SO Good!

As I looked through the basket and read over the recipes, I could not help but smile at the whole orchestration of this gift.  This goody basket that I was not even expecting was filled with the very things I have been wanting to try making myself.  They are also really good ways to cut costs in the family budget (which is also a need in my life).  I had no idea my friend made all her detergents and cleaning products, and had been using them long enough to perfect her recipes.  She had no idea these things were on my mind, because we had not discussed them before.  I had no idea she would be blessing me with this basket.  Of course, she gave me the basket before our conversation even started.  Clearly, this is a God-thing.

At this point in my life, you would think that such "coincidences" would not surprise me.  One recurring theme of this past year has been that God will supply all of my needs.  I don't even have to ask specifically.  My needs are always met.  Even in the midst of suffering, I can find comfort in the sovereignty of God, and know that He is in control of all things.  God has a plan.  It is a good one.

Considering my Christmas gifts so far, I am starting to think that there may be some domestic skills planned for my future!

Nursing Assistant

It is official:

I am a trained Nursing Assistant.

I did it!  I completed the intense 7-week training program, which included 2 weeks of clinical experience in a Nursing Home.  Not only did I pass each milestone along the way, but I got an A!  

I am proud of myself.  Looking back, it is hard to believe that I found the strength, the time, and the organization to complete such a task.  I had a lot of help to care for the kids, and we made it through the 7 weeks and lived to tell about it.  The kids are happy to have me home regularly again now.

I learned so much in 7 weeks:  I enjoyed learning how to take vital signs (blood pressure, pulse, respirations  temperature, oxygen saturation), how to care for a bed-ridden or immobile person (bed baths, transfers, feeding, changing, dressing, etc.), and how to communicate with a person who is not healthy.  The medical skills were fun.  I was excited to get my own stethoscope and gait belt.  I felt official in my scrubs.  

I am totally employable now.  I even have a letter of recommendation from my instructor.

To be certified, I need to take and pass the state exam.  I am in the process of applying for that.  It is not yet clear how long it takes to get the "next available" slot for testing.  

Regardless of certification status or pursuit of employment, this Nursing Assistant course was a pre-requisite for Nursing School.  This first step is a great one, in that it opens up many doors of opportunity.

The most important thing I learned from this course is that I belong in Nursing.  That is definitely the career for me.  My instructor and fellow classmates were full of praise and encouragement.  It was such a raise in my self esteem to be consistently told that my personality and natural gifts were ideal for this field.  I started to look at myself differently.  I started to look beyond the current level of crisis and stress in my life.  It was so refreshing to have something positive to focus on for a change.

I was pre-med in college, but did not get into medical school right away.  All throughout my pre-med coursework, I doubted myself.  I knew I enjoyed healthcare--and I really enjoyed volunteering at the hospital---but I did not necessarily enjoy my classes and coursework.  I earned a degree in Biology, and worked in biomedical research.  Even though I received excellent reviews each year, and praise from my boss, my heart was not in the work.  I was not passionate about it, like I am about caregiving.  I am good at science.  It comes natural to my way of thinking.  But, I flourish when I am helping someone and making their life a little better.  Ironically, as I was completing my last semester of college, and applying for jobs, I commented to The Referee, "I should have gone to Nursing School instead."  This Nursing Assistant training course really opened my eyes to the fact that Nursing is definitely the right career path for me.  All thoughts about what my "next career" (after the kids are raised) should be, are clarified now.  I am certain that I am on the right path.  

I also learned that I am content to go slowly toward Nursing School.  I enjoy being home with my kids.  If I had to return to work to provide for my family, I would.....and I would be grateful for the time I previously had at home.  But, since The Referee is providing so well for us, and encouraging me to continue at home with the kids, I am thrilled to get more time at home.  Since Jersey #5 is only 4, I hope to progress slowly through my pre-requisites before I enter Nursing School full time.

The nicest thing about working motherhood is the affirmation.  When I am at home full time, the daily tasks seem never-ending and often unappreciated.  They are important, just not often noticed.  But, in the working world, there is constant feedback on a job well done.  Praise is abundant.  I would go to class and learn a new skills, or receive a good grade on an assignment, and I would feel accomplished.  At home, later, it only took washing one load of dishes, and cooking dinner to make me feel like I was Super Mom!  Plus, if I was in class all day, and the kids were in care with friends all day, then no one was home to mess up the house all day!  The house stayed cleaner.  Every little bit of household chores I accomplished on school days felt like I was going over the top in my level of accomplishment for the day.  I can see why some Moms say they need to have some sort of career for their own well being.  It is such a big difference to receive positive feedback regularly.  Full-time-at-home motherhood does not have the luxury of evaluating our progress so soon.  We repeat the same caregiving tasks for years, not knowing how our children will turn out in the end.  At least with a career on hand, there is a sense of professional accomplishment, while we wait to see the end results of the quality of our mothering.  

Now that I have had such a self-esteem boost, and academic achievement, I am even more flattered when my kids express how much they prefer to have me at home.  I have a new sense of value.

      

Hanging Up the Washing

My dryer went on the fritz, and left me with a huge mountain of dirty laundry.

I'm talking a very tall mountain.  Sheets, blankets, and towels galore!

We have been swimming for the past 2 weeks, in addition to the fact that I have some bed-wetters.  Add that to the fact that it took me a few days to realize the dryer really wasn't functioning properly.

(Ok, when the mountain of laundry grew taller than the counter, and started blocking the back door, I had to admit there was a problem here.)

So, today I rigged a quick clothesline with some rope, across the window bars in front of our house.  The front of the house gets a tremendous amount of sun and heat.  The backyard has dogs who would love to pull down the laundry and chew on it for sport.  

I started washing load after load of laundry.  I would wash and hang 2 loads of linens for every 1 load of clothing.  The clothing went into the dryer and spun for an absurd length of time before it would dry.  

The response to my situation has had me entertained all day long.

One friend recommended a laundromat.  

Two friends offered to let me come to their house and use their laundry appliances.  I have the sweetest friends.

My Pastor reminded me that there is a washer and dryer at the church that I could use.  That did give me an idea for how I could keep us in jean shorts, if it takes to long to remedy my dryer situation.

One friend offered to take a look at the dryer and see if he can fix it.

My husband offered to research the make and model to see if there are some easy ideas for how to fix it. (Neither of us are very handy at such things.  I had already tried cleaning out the vent hose, and some easy things, that were of no help).

My Mom mentioned that she was surprised that her daughters even had clothespins.  I had to confess that I did not actually own clothespins, so I was just draping the linens over the rope.  (Then again, I did not even have clothes line, so I was using a rope that was used to hang the pinata at the most recent birthday party.)  I have never actually had to live out the life of my poor Southern roots.....before today.  

As we were returning home from swim lessons this morning, I mentioned to the kids that since our dryer was not working properly, I was going to hang a clothesline and do laundry the old fashioned way.

Jersey #1 looked at me very puzzled and asked, "You are going to wash the laundry in a lake?"

Um, no.  The washer works fine, and we do not have a lake.

Jersey #2 asked, "Are you going to make your own butter too?"

I just started laughing.

I suppose when they think of "old fashioned," they are thinking Little House on the Prairie, or colonial American Girl stories.  

Jersey #3 inspired me with his enthusiasm about the situation.  He seems to look at the world with eyes for adventure and fun.  He offered to help me hang towels.  He excitedly announced when things were dry.  He repeatedly said, "This is SO COOL!"  

He even stood between rows of blankets and towels and jumped out at me as I walked past.  He giggled at my response, and then said that hanging laundry outside makes a great place to play hide and go seek.  

A Day Like This

I am not entirely sure how it happened this way, but we have managed to jam-pack our summer days.  

For example, today:

Jersey #1 had her very first swim meet this morning.  She was suppose to report to the pool at 6:30am.  Why is swimming such an early morning activity?  Our family is not accustomed to going to bed early and waking up early.  We did it anyway.  I put the kids to bed early last night....almost right after dinner.  I closed up all the shades in the house, and tried to make it look like it was closer to night time.  That is no easy feat in the summer, when the days are longer.  

I packed up snacks and a blanket, so they were ready to load into the van.  I laid out clothes for the younger 3 kids, because I knew they would be too tired to put much effort into getting dressed.  I gathered all of the ingredients for a crockpot chili to be put on in the morning, so we would have a hearty meal waiting on us when we returned.  Lastly, I plugged in my camera to charge, and printed out directions to the pool, before going to bed early myself.

I woke up at 5am.  That is rare.  I do not intend to make it a habit.  I had plenty of time to shower and cook some breakfast items before I woke the kids.  One-by-one, the kids managed to crawl out of bed, get dressed to the shoes, brush teeth and comb hair.  As they were ready, I had them sit at the dining table and eat.  The slower kids got to put their breakfast in a baggie to eat in the van.  Jersey #1 and Jersey #5 really surprised me with their cheerful attitudes first thing the morning.  They were both obedient when I sent them to bed the night before, and fell asleep quickly, so I suspect they felt like they had gotten enough sleep. 

We made it to the pool, and found seating in the shade, near friends.  We unloaded our luggage, set up a chair, and prepared for a big morning of fun and competition.  Jersey #1 was pretty nervous.  She turns into a robot, with a serious expression, and goes through the motions.  I knew she would warm up as the meet went on.

She swam 3 events:  25M freestyle, 25M backstroke, and 25M breaststroke.  I was completely stunned by how much her strokes have improved in just the 1 month of swim team practice.  She has achieved levels of ability that were just not happening during summer swim lessons.  I am totally impressed with the coaches on this team.  Jersey #1 did great.

She took 8th place in Freestyle, 6th place in Backstroke, and 7th place in Breaststroke.  After every event, her coach ran up to her and cheered her on for completing the race with ease.  It was neat to see how they praised her.  She was nervous first.  She was troubled that she was often in last place for the heat.  But, she was proud of her accomplishment, especially after the coaches pointed it out.  

While Jersey #1 swam, her younger siblings ate.

As the meet was wrapping up, the coaches mentioned that the team has a tradition of going out for a meal afterward.  We went to a nearby pizza place.  Even though they ate breakfast, and snacked all morning, my children were also able to eat an entire large cheese pizza!

I managed to have 1 slice of pizza before my children consumed it all.  

The fellowship with the swimmers and parents was a lot of fun.  It is a great group of people.  We already knew a couple families.  I enjoyed some conversation with my former boss, whose youngest son swims on this team.  Plus, I re-met a lady who had been part of our homeschool co-op a couple years ago.  She has a daughter with the same name as Jersey #4.  Another friendly lady introduced herself to me, and I learned she is the Mom of two of the coaches, including Jersey #1's coach.  One month of practice, and one swim meet, and I am already a big fan of this team.  

On the way home, Jersey #1 asked if we could go bowling that afternoon.  Everyone was in good spirits, so we invited a friend and headed out to the bowling alley for a couple games through the Kids Bowl Free program.  I joined in on the fun, and we had a blast.

I am pretty sure that Jersey #4 is in for a major growth spurt.  In addition to asking for a 2nd bowl of spaghetti last night (which she never does), and also asked for a 2nd slice of pizza (which she seldom does).  Then, she fell asleep in the van on the way to bowling, AND started laying down to watch her ball complete its path...

Once we returned home, I started to tackle the laundry and dishes that have been piling up.  The kids helped feed the dogs, and unload the van.  Laundry managed to get washed and dried, but it is still sitting on the couch, waiting to be folded.

We ate crockpot chili for dinner.  The older 3 children ate twice as much as usual.  There are hardly any leftovers, which is so odd.

I gave the younger 4 kids a haircut.

The younger 3 kids took a bath.

I trimmed fingernails and toe nails.

The kids brushed their teeth and put on PJs.  I tucked them into bed.

Then, I sat down at my computer to work on my assignments for the Nutrition class I am taking online.  I am really liking this online course option.  I do most of my studying after the kids are in bed. 

I am exhausted.  I wrote this blog post just so I could see how busy I was today, so that I can justify my exhaustion.  

Yep, it is justified.

It is now time to hang up my clean laundry, to clear my bed.  I am hoping to read my Sunday School lesson materials before I go to sleep.  Thankfully, tomorrow is Sunday.  I manage to get more rest on Sundays.  I am going to need it.  If I thought this week was intense, next week is bound to be wilder.

Why Buy Toys?

It appears that I should have been purchasing packages of plastic cups instead of toys...

Hopscotch

We have a hopscotch rug in our hallway, in font of the bedrooms.  

Doesn't everyone?

This is actually a new thing for us.  Jersey #4 received it as a birthday present from a friend.

I used to be obsessed with keeping everything packaged up and in good shape.  I took such good care of my things when I was a child, that I still have things from when I was a child.  I still have board games from my childhood, with all of the pieces.  Unfortunately, I also still have things that I probably would have enjoyed using as a child, but was too obsessed with protecting that I never wore them out.    

My children are not so good at taking care of their things.  We have already thrown out board games that have lost too many pieces.  I get frustrated about this.  I think I need to teach them better about caring for their things, and requiring that they do so.  

I also realize that our household is not typical.  Five children close in age will wear things out faster, than a household with only 1 or 2 children playing with the items.  They have proven this with our swingset and jungle gym.  I was disappointed, thinking these things should have lasted longer.  My Mom and The Referee have had to point out to me that these items are in near-constant use and do not get much of a rest, and have actually served us well.

As I learn to accept that we are just not typical, I am learning to let go of some of these expectations I previously held.  It is OK if the colored pencils and crayons are all worn down before the next school supply sale, because it means many pages have been colored that year. 

There is a time to teach proper care and respect for our belongings.  There is also a time to take the toys out of the box and use them up, enjoy them, until all that remains are the fun memories and pictures.

This hopscotch rug won't last forever in our high traffic hallway, but it has been hilarious to watch Jersey #5 try to hop on one foot.  It has been sweet to see Jersey #1 remember to be a child and play, instead of trying to become a teenager too soon.  It is fun to watch Jersey #2 and Jersey #3 compete to see who can cross the rug the fastest.  It has been remarkable to see a generous Jersey #4 share her birthday gift with her siblings, and not even insist she go first.  

Spring Cleaning

Last Friday, I declared that I was going to use the warm, Spring weather to my advantage and start Spring Cleaning the house.  Cleaning, decluttering, and organizing is a great way to distract myself from my woes, and to whip our household into shape.  Turning off the heat and opening the windows airs out the house nicely, while I clean.  The kids enjoy much more outdoor time too, which helps me dive into organization projects with less interruption.  I am taking the month of April to really tackle every room of our house, with the goal of narrowing down our stuff to only the things we use and enjoy regularly.  I don't know why I expected the weather to cooperate and continue to be warm.

This morning, we woke up to snow.  It was a pretty, wet snow.  It made the backyard a big, muddy mess. I am sure it watered the weeds in the front yard, so that they can grow another foot before I get out to the store to buy work gloves to pull them.  

Snow is so rare around here, that the kids automatically assume they must go outside and play in it as a top priority for the day.  So, this morning, Jersey #2, Jersey #3, and Jersey #5 made sure to pull out their winter gear and go out into the snow.  They used the snow on top of the trampoline for a mini-snowball fight.  I don't think the snow actually packed into snowballs though.  That did not stop them from tossing it at each other.  They were able to get cold enough and wet enough to satisfy themselves that they had taken full advantage of the snow.  They also insisted that they needed hot chocolate afterward, to warm up.  These are our snow day traditions.  They must be followed regardless of the amount of snow, or the quality of the snowballs.

The pile of wet clothing added to my daily chores, which took away from my Spring Cleaning schedule.  The smiles and laughter and tales of their snowball fight were worth it though.  We also enjoyed a few laughs and jokes about the yucky smell of wet dog!  Ick!

Yesterday, a friend brought by a frozen dinner that included turkey, gravy, potatoes, and green beans.  I put the pans of food into the fridge to let them thaw.  Today was a perfect day to warm the food in the oven, which helped heat up our home and fill it with the lovely scent of a turkey baking.  What a blessing.  

Today was a good day.

Funny 3-year old

Jersey #5 is every bit of 3-years old these days.

He is full of curiosity about the world, full of his own conclusions about how things should work, and full of thoughts and comments that often catch me off guard and make me laugh.

At the start of a school day last week, I was explaining the lesson plans for the day to each of the older kids.  Jersey #3 interrupted me and clarified that 3-year old do not have homework right?  I agreed.  We do not make our 3-year olds work on preschool workbooks and activities unless they want to.  Jersey #3 was happy with that answer, and resumed his playing.

Later that same afternoon, I was organizing the chore list and getting the kids started on their chore tasks.  Jersey #3 interrupted me and suggested that 3-year olds do not have homework......pause......and 3 year olds do not have to do chores, right?  

Nice try.

One of the meals delivered by friends recently was Frito Pie.  It comes with a nice chilli, meat and bean mixture, to eat with chips, or specifically with Fritos.  I had reheated some left-overs for lunch.  Jersey #5 ate his serving and asked for seconds.

As I was spooning more chili on his plate, I praised him for eating so well.  I told him that eating his meat and beans would help him grow big and strong.  

Jersey #5 corrected me by explaining,

"I eat more beans so I can fart."

Ah, boys!  I almost forgot how important farting was to them.

The Home Team Restaurant

I've been told that there is a transition point where a family becomes a large family.  It is not necessarily a matter of number of members of the family, so much as it is a change in mindset.  At some point, reconciliation occurs, and you realize that your family size warrants living in an atypical fashion.  

For the longest time, I have joked that "it took 5 to take me down."  I took that quote from a friend.  I was lamenting to her about how challenging life seemed after Jersey #5 was born.  My friend joked that it took 5 to take me down, where most folks only needed 2 or 3 to take them down.  She meant it well, and it really cracked me up.

The truth is that I really struggled to adjust to life with 5 kids.  I did not want to let go of my expectations for how our life should go.  I expected to be able to continue enrolling the kids in all sorts of sports and activities, and be on the go.  I did not dwell too much on the details.  The problem was that things just did not go as smoothly as I expected.  We started running late all the time.  There never seemed to be enough time, energy, money, or motivation to keep up the pace.  Jersey #2's heart surgery adventure certainly slowed down the pace of our life.  But, my mind had not yet reached that point of reconciliation that our family was just going to be different.

Oddly enough, I passed that turning point a few weeks ago when I was shopping at Sam's Club.  Yes, I do the majority of our grocery shopping in bulk, at a warehouse store.  It turns out, Sam's Club sells a slew of items intended for restaurants.  I once bought a package of forks there, because we kept running out of forks.    I recently decided to also buy a pack of spoons.  Who needs a pack of 30 spoons?  We do.

While wandering down the aisle where the restaurant pack of spoons is located, I came across a stock pot.  I stopped and admired it.  Wow!  It is bigger than my crock pot.  Imagine how much soup or chilli I could make in that!  We might even have leftovers for a change!  (My children thought I was losing my mind, because I was getting so excited about kitchen cookware). 

Next to the stockpots were half-sheet pans.  

And, that is when it hit me.  

All this time, I have been trying to cook with normal sized pots, and quarter sheet pans.  All this time, I have been trying to live as if our family was typical.  It was not working.  That cookware was not getting the job done.  We are not typical.  We are large.  

The game is played differently in a large family.

I came home that day with a 2 pack of half sheet pans, and a 24 pack of restaurant tumblers.

The Referee laughed at my assessment of our situation, but was not phased.  He said that it is as if I am feeding a whole restaurant anyway.  So, it just makes sense to have that size cookware.

The next morning, I made biscuits from a can.

I was thrilled that all 8 biscuits fit on one half sheet pan.

  I loaded up both half-sheet pans with biscuits and put them in the oven...AT THE SAME TIME!

I cooked breakfast in ONE swoop!  (I used to cook biscuits in shifts, with quarter-sheet pans and a pizza stone.  It was time consuming and frustrating).  

I am pretty sure I heard a choir of angels singing in my kitchen, as I realized the freedom that just came from having the right size cookware to feed my large family.  

I still smile when I remember how we were able to all sit at the table and eat breakfast, together, because all of the food was ready at the same time. 

Next, I've got my eye on that stockpot...

A Messy Visit

Today, I received a surprise visit from a friend.  My house was a wreck.

The children started off the morning roller skating and riding scooters through the house and out the back porch, and around that loop again.  Discarded skates and scooters were everywhere.

They followed that up by building forts with pillows and blankets across the living room.....which they promised to clean up the moment they were finished playing there.  Didn't happen.

Oh, and let's not forget the bowls of cereal that were still sitting on the dining room table, because I have done THAT good of a job of getting the children to clean up their spots when they are finished eating.

Let's just say that we were not ready for company.

Oh well.

My friend and I stood and chatted, since there was not a cleared spot to sit anywhere.

She admired my dining room table.  I could not bring myself to discuss how much we use that table for everything from meals to homeschooling, to serious conversations....because that the moment it was leveled in dishes and cereal boxes.

A good hostess would have offered a drink.  Coffee?  Tea?  Nope.  I had milk and water, so I didn't even pretend to be a good hostess.  I am pretty sure that there was not a clean glass anyway.  I was kicking myself for not tending to the dishes first thing this morning, like I told myself I would do when I skipped them after dinner last night.  That'll teach me!

At least the kids were clothed!  No naked children running around at that moment.  I'll take that as a success!

Thankfully, my friend finds my life to be entertaining.  She did not make a single negative comment about the mess.  She just admired the kids, had a nice chat, and went about her business.

I have dinner dishes to wash tonight.  I am tired and thinking about leaving them for morning....

Do I dare tempt someone to drop by tomorrow too?

On second thought, maybe I will stay up a little later and go wash those dishes.  I've had enough embarrassment for this week.

Baskets

When I was a kid, my Mom made up huge Easter baskets, wrapped in cellophane paper. They were gorgeous. They were just like the ones you can buy ready-made in the store, only better. Much better. Mom said she could make them up to be nicer, for a fraction of the price. We got a whole lot more candy that way too.

I usually try to carry on that tradition. Beautiful baskets of candy, and an outfit, wrapped in cellophane....

Except this year.

This year, I was SO exhausted after Jersey #3's birthday party (and the adventure of taking Jersey #1 to the urgent care), that I just did not have the energy to tape up those bags and arrange the baskets neatly. This year, I made less-than-pretty baskets.

I had ordered each child some jean shorts for summer. I put their pack of jean shorts on the table, and placed their basket on top. I added a packaged of new underwear, a t-shirt, and a chocolate bunny. I had actually purchased more candy, but left it in the fridge. I sprinkled some plastic eggs around the table.

Then, I dropped into bed like cement. I was too tired to feel too guilty about my lack of basket perfection. I was so very thankful that I bought all of the basket goodies at the same time I was buying the birthday party supplies, because at least I had the items available.


Thankfully, I have some of the most grateful children in the world. They were so caught up in the excitement of their Easter baskets, that they did not care that there was no cellophane paper. They posed for a picture, then tore into those baskets with gusto.

It did not take long to get those chocolate bunnies opened. Chocolate bunnies at 9am.
Yes, breakfast is served...

Homeschool Convention

I had the pleasure of spending the weekend at a homeschool convention.

Convention is this fabulous weekend-long event, filled with seminars, information tables, and curriculum vendors....all of them there to encourage & support homeschooling.

I will admit that I went to my first Homeschool Convention an entire year before Jersey #1 was in kindergarten. We were not even an "official" homeschool yet, but I was excited to attend convention. I had been forewarned that the curriculum vendor wing would be overwhelming. There are zillions of wonderful curriculum, and every vendor is excited to share why their product is so great. That first year, I made a point to window shop only, and not purchase any curriculum until I knew full well what we wanted to use. Now, I take advantage of the free shipping and discount offers available for curriculum ordered at Convention. This year, the A Beka rep even gave me an ink pen and a reusable shopping bag when I placed my order. I teased that their gifts were actually intended for advertising!

My favorite part of Convention is the seminars. I love to attend seminars. It is totally my thing to sit in an auditorium and listen to an entertaining speaker who encourages and inspires, and makes me think. A meal, an entertaining speaker, and a chance to discuss it afterward is my idea of a good time. Some of my favorite dates (before kids) with The Referee included dinner and tickets to see a comedian perform. Some of my favorite dates (after kids) with The Referee include ordering pizza and watching an entertaining speaker on DVD.

Homeschool convention doesn't include food. But, it certainly brings incredible speakers for seminars. Every couple hours, there is a choice among 5 or 6 different speakers. I fill the bulk of my time at convention going from one seminar room to another. Even though the main topic of each seminar has something to do with homeschooling....and is very directed at a homeschool family audience....I find that their encouragement branches into other areas of my life also. One year, a common theme of the seminars I attended pertained to strengthening marriage, which was very helpful. One year, a common theme was encouragement that homeschooling works, and the kids do well. This year, I was surprised to see the common theme for the seminars I attended to involve organizing time to reduce busy-ness. I certainly need to improve in that area.

I come home from convention each day, so uplifted that I feel as thought I am walking in the clouds. I usually want to talk really fast and share all my new thoughts and ideas with The Referee. This year, he was sick in bed for most of the weekend, so he was a captive audience (so to speak), LOL!

I took some time to browse the vendor tables more this year too. I am ready to branch out into some other curriculum options for some subjects, and was eager to ask questions and learn more. I am wanting to try History and Science in "unit study" style, teaching all of our children the same units at the same time. I also want an additional math curriculum for Jersey #2. I found one that will give her some independence to forge along at her math whiz pace. I received a ton of great information.

One of the seminar speakers gave a handout with a list of books that she recommended reading. This excited me too, because it gives me a direction to go for more books to read on subjects that pertain to me right now.

I was almost too busy to even sign up to attend convention this year. Considering how encouraged I feel after attending, I am so grateful that I went. I am hoping to use this momentum to make a few "improvements" in our homeschool, and in our home in general.

Short-sale Adventures

We were oh-so-close....

...and yet so far.


We thought we were on target for an approval of our offer for that house that is in short sale. Instead, we received a casual counteroffer from the bank that owns the home.

It wasn't even official paperwork.

It was an email to the Seller's Realtor. The bank dragged the sellers through a paperwork obstacle course, in order to consider selling their home "short" of the amount owed on the mortgage. It looked like every piece of paper had been received and screened, and an approval was on its way. Our Realtor was ready to order the housing inspection and move the process along. Our lender had locked in a great interest rate and was ready to move us toward closing. We were only waiting on that official word, saying that the bank accepted our offer. Instead, the Seller's Realtor received a 2 sentence email that read,

"The listing price is too low. It needs to be (insert amount that is $15K higher than we offered)"

What?!? Seriously? The Realtors were shocked. They discussed it before they even told us. Our Realtor called me and prefaced her announcement with, "We have never seen this before. They are asking for more than the list price." She then suggested we talk it over, and let her know what we wanted to do.

We talked it over. We said NO WAY! We were not paying more than the list price on the house. In the current market where homes are foreclosing all over the place? That is silly. That house has been on the market for months, and we were the only offer. There is no competition here. Foreclosure auctions are not even getting better prices these days.

Knowing this sale was a short sale, we had already offered to pay for all inspections for closing. So, we told our Realtor that we were not going up $15K. We asked her advise as to whether we simply tell them no.....or do we counteroffer with a $5K increase and have them pay some of the inspections and fees for closing.

Our Realtor later emailed us a copy of the email exchange between the Seller's Realtor and the bank. It was absurd. The Seller's Realtor told the rep that the buyers find the price increase unacceptable. The bank rep responded that as soon as the Seller's Realtor received a higher offer, they would proceed with the short sale.

So, it sounds like the bank is not willing to accept our offer.

The part that was entertaining was the way that the Seller's Realtor attempted to be logical with them. He tried to point out that there were NO other offers on this property. When the sale price was higher, there were very few showings. When the sale price dropped, there were no offers. When the sale price dropped again, we were the only offer.

We knew this short sale process could bust at any point. It is still shocking to learn how these banks operate. I actually feel sorry for the sellers. They have been so close to foreclosure and thought this was going to be a way out. They were diligent to provide every piece of paper the bank requested. It is sad that the bank waited until after the sellers jumped through all the hoops, just to announce that they were not going to accept our offer after all.

(The Referee went online and learned that this particular mortgage company is known for mistreating sellers this way. They have a reputation for buying mortgages in foreclosure, stringing the sellers along, then foreclosing anyway.)

We have processed the reality that this house will probably not become our new home. We are giving them a few days to hash out their emails and figure out which point we consider that we have an "official" no.

To add to our housing adventure, our next-door neighbor put their house on the market to sell a week after we did.

We are starting to wonder if these are signs that it is not time to move yet. Time should bring more clarity...

For Sale

We have officially taken a flying leap...

Our house is on the market to sell.

I am not exactly sure what to expect. The amount of work that went into getting our house and yard cleaned up and organized just to let the Realtor enter and take pictures was huge. The signing of paperwork for the Realtor, and her listing the home was very simple by comparison. Now, we wait....

We wait to see if there is any interest in the house at all. We wait to see if there are any offers. We wait to see if we are on the right track or the wrong track with our housing situation.

We are also waiting for news on the house that we are seeking to purchase. Just over a month ago, we made an offer on a house that was a hair away from foreclosure. It is in short sale. The sellers are asking their mortgage company to accept our offer, which is short of the amount they owe on the property. Short sales take time. So, we wait...

Patience is a virtue.

But, not a virtue that I possess.


This whole experience is very odd to me. It is not a crisis. We are in no rush. Actually, most of the events are completely out of our hands. There is not much to even worry about. Does this mean I might be gaining some patience? Weird.

I can see that there is some sort of lesson here. I just don't know what that lesson is. The Referee and I are growing. We are communicating, weighing options, processing information, and making decisions together. We have not had such joint effort in a long time, if ever. It is strange. Nice strange, but definitely out of the norm for us.

I know God is in control. He does not need me to micromanage things.

I can't wait to see how this story unfolds. The parts I have experienced so far have been fun.

The house we are trying to buy, was on the market over a year ago. Our friends who live just up the street from it mentioned that we should buy it and become neighbors. I laughed off the idea, because we were not in the market to buy a house at all. I didn't even look at any details of the house.

I have driven past the house many times, and saw the "For Sale" sign out front. I was not phased.

Something changed one day in January. I drove past that house to take Jersey #1 and Jersey #2 to our friend's house, and all was well. A couple hours later, when I drove past again, the sign out front caught my eye. The top of the sign had been changed. Instead of reading "For Sale," it said, "4-Bedrooms."

That afternoon, I got on the computer and looked up the house information in the real estate directory. The price seemed VERY low for that neighborhood. There were other homes in that same neighborhood priced at least 20% higher. Otherwise, I noticed the home had a lot of features we say we want in our next home--2 living areas, a smaller yard, and a garage, specifically. I assumed something must be wrong with it, to be priced so low.

The following week, when I met with my friend and asked her what was the scoop on that house, and why was it priced so low? She explained that it was in foreclosure, and the owners had moved out of state with a job change. They had tried to sell it, tried to rent it, and that did not go well. Her face lit up when she asked if we might be interested in it. Initially I brushed off her excitement by saying that we were not actually looking for a house at this point, because other bills would need to be paid before we could even consider asking for a mortgage. She told me she and her family would be praying about it.

It was February before I finally mentioned the house to The Referee and told him about it and about the details our friend knew. We took a look at our financial situation and ran some numbers. We decided to tackle a couple more bills before even contacting the Realtor about the house.

The next day, The Referee had an idea about how readjust our finances and pay off two more of our smallest debts. We jokingly call it his "out of the box" thinking. I love making those final payments and shading the debts off my spreadsheet. Our debt snowball is really rolling now!

We took a second look at our finances, and talked about the opportunity again. Do we dare take out a mortgage on a new house before selling our current house? Do we think our house will sell well at all? Are we remembering all the expenses that are involved in moving and re-hooking up utilities? Yes.

I emailed our Realtor and gave her the information about the house and asked her to give us the "inside" scoop on the status of the house.....and if it was even worth going to the bank and asking for another mortgage.

She emailed back and said that house was in short sale, not yet foreclosure. She said she had experience with short sales, and they take longer to process, but were not necessarily bad. Financially, the house was a good deal. She said she would go see it in person that afternoon and email me some pictures.

She actually called me from the house, because she was so pleased with it as a nice house for our family. She described the details and emailed me pictures. She said it was definitely worth going to the bank and seeing about a loan. So we did. That evening, the Realtor called me to say that the sellers had just decreased the listing price THAT DAY! They had no idea we were interested, and they are desperate to sell it. The decreased price was the exact price The Referee and I had talked about offering.

The loan adviser called me the next morning and said we were in good shape for a loan, and she only needed minimal paperwork to verify income. I admit I was a bit surprised by this information. Part of me was expecting the bank to say no to another mortgage, which would put an end to this pursuit immediately.

That weekend, we arranged with our Realtor to go see the house, in-between some of the kids' basketball games. I was shocked when both The Referee and I loved the house right from the start. (That was not the case with all of the homes we looked at prior to buying the house we currently live in). It really is a nice home. It was clear that it had been well-taken care of until this recent year when it had renters and sat empty. It would only take some cleaning and painting, and very minor repairs to restore its original beauty and functionality. It was a great fit for our family.

After contacting the seller's Realtor, our Realtor explained that the house was a hair away from foreclosure, so we should put our offer in right away. There was no one else making an offer, but our race was against the foreclosure. We collected the paperwork for the bank loan and got that ready for The Referee to FAX first thing in the morning. I emailed the loan adviser and told her the FAX would be coming, and we wanted an approval letter as fast as possible.

The Referee and I had a big discussion about this endeavor. We researched short sales and learned about how much they require time and patience. Short sales can bust at any point along the process. We decide that we are not getting our hearts set on this house. The odds were against us getting it, if it was that close to foreclosure anyway. We were not in a hurry to move, but were seeking this great opportunity. If it fell apart, we would be fine, because we already have a home. We have plenty of time to let the short sale process unfold, since we do not need to move.

We signed the offer paperwork, and waited on the bank. The loan adviser called me the next morning, and explained that it was going to take 2 or 3 days to get the approval letter. This same lady who was telling me on Friday that we were all set and in good shape, was now telling me Monday morning, that we needed more assets, and she couldn't understand my income (due to the shift differential I get for working evenings). I calmed her down by explaining my paycheck to her, answered her questions about our assets, and then said Ok we would wait on the letter.

I figured it was a no deal already, if the loan status had changed. I emailed the Realtor and The Referee and gave them the update. I was visiting with friends and sharing the story, when the loan adviser called again. Less than an hour had passed from our first phone call that morning. This time, she was cheerful and informed me that she was emailing me the approval letter immediately. She did not tell me what suddenly changed. My friend joked that maybe she just needed a cup of coffee first.

The Realtor sent the offer letter to the Seller's Realtor. Little did we know, they went back and forth all day long, sharing the details of the short sale process.

Late that same evening, our Realtor forwarded an email from the Seller's Realtor, saying that it was too late: the house was already in foreclosure, and an auction date was set. Ah, well. We tried. We decided it just wasn't meant to be at this time.

Much to our surprise, our Realtor called the next afternoon. The status on that house had changed, and the mortgage company decided to postpone the auction and look at our offer. We were ON again! How exciting!

An entire month went by, and we heard nothing about our offer. The internet was right, short sales take time. Our Realtor said that the Seller's Realtor kept assuring her it still looked good. We were growing doubtful. We passed the time by Spring Cleaning our own house and getting it ready for the market. We decided to go ahead and list it, and see how it did on the market, while we waited for the short sale process.

In the meantime, the neighbors noticed another Realtor at the house, taking pictures. It turns out that person was an independent broker who was taking pictures for the mortgage company while they assessed the value of the home compared to what was owed on the mortgage, compared to our offer. It made us wonder if it might be headed for auction afterall.

The Realtor came over last weekend to take pictures of our house. As we signed the listing contract with her, I was a bit overwhelmed by the idea of trying to keep our house clean and decluttered for showing for the next 6 months. Yikes.

After a long weekend of work, yard work, housework, and paperwork, The Referee and I had an interesting chat about how we pack our life. We decided we need to look at things differently. We usually say, "Can we do this?" We need to start saying "Should we do this?"

We decided that we have done all the hard work in this housing process. An offer is on the table. Our house is on the market. Six months from now, we will either have a new house or not. We will either sell our house or not. We are in maintenance mode right now, and that is good. In the meantime, we keep working, schooling, purging junk, and paying down debts. We thought we had it all figured out.

This morning, our Realtor forwarded an email from the Seller's Realtor which explained that they had made it through another step in the process. The auction that was set for today had been postponed. They had been meeting with a "screener" at the mortgage company so far, and now they were dealing with an actual closer/negotiator. It looks like we might be closer to an approval on our offer soon.

I am not sure how "soon" is defined in a short sale. It is a lesson in patience, for sure.

Weather

On Wednesday, we enjoyed the beautiful Fall weather, complete with leaves falling from the big tree in the backyard.

The kids went outside and played in the leaves.

Much to my surprise, we woke up Thursday morning to a serene layer of snow across the backyard.

Snow is beautiful.

But, I am not ready for it.

I am not ready for winter at all. Actually, I am really not ready for Fall either.

I had big plans to re-paint our living room toward the end of the summer. We had remodeled the kitchen in July, and the living room was suppose to be next. I was even going to wash the big rug, hosing it down out on the back patio, to have it clean for winter.

With all those falling leaves, there is no way I can wash the rug on the patio. Snow inhibits that as well.

So, in an act of absolute desperation, I am going to attempt to rally my family together and help me clean up the living room/dining room area of our house and paint the walls.

This weekend.

Normally, I try to use the weekend after Thanksgiving to work on my Christmas cards and annual newsletter to friends and family. I like to send mine out early. Sometimes we even manage to put up the tree and decorations. The month of December is usually a whirlwind of activities.

This year has been the year for running behind, so it looks like my greetings will be late as well. I am going to try to hold off the Christmas decorating festivities long enough to paint the living room.

So, if you are anticipating a Christmas card and newsletter from me this year....

be sure to check your mailbox sometime in early January.