I never wanted to be a single parent. Single motherhood is not easy, and it is not ideal. Yet, here I am. I try not to spend too much time worrying about all the statistics about the outcomes of children raised in broken homes. Broken families create broken people. It is tragic. The Bible explains the important roles of both mother and father in raising their children. Psychology research shows the importance of both mothers and fathers in the home, raising their children. Prison data shows the impact of fatherless homes. Medical journals, talk shows, schools, radio shows, magazine articles....the list goes on and on. I know the data is out there. It haunts me. So, I try not to think about it very often. If I allow myself to spend time worrying, I will quickly become overwhelmed. I am doing all I can to give my children a stable, healthy, home environment, filled with love and joy. But, I know it is not enough. It will never be enough. I will always fall short of the ideal. My children will be affected. They will be broken, always feeling like something was missing. My heart aches at the thought. So, I try to not allow myself to think about it. I can't control it anyway. So, instead I pray.
I remind myself that I am blessed to be able to have this time with my children, watching them play and grow. It is a short, swift season. I take pictures. Random pictures. Trying to capture a snapshot of the joy they bring me as they laugh and play and grow...
Jersey #2 looks so cute in braids...
Food on a stick is a favorite dinner theme at church...
We even ate cake on a stick...
Jersey #5 likes dinner at church, because I let him select his own meal...
Jersey #4 demonstrates how to behave for dental cleanings. Jersey #5 was super curious about the process. (He did great when it was his turn too).
Dress up fun...
Jersey #3 wanted to learn how to make pancakes on the griddle. He is becoming quite a chef, but that first pancake experience resulted in a very large mess, along with tasty pancakes...
Jersey #2 has mastered the cartwheel...
Jersey #4 is very close to being able to read a Dr. Suess book on her own. When the kids are able to read "Green Eggs and Ham" on their own, I say that they have learned to read. (Versus learning to read). Jersey #4 was determined to pick a different book, and show me she could read it on her own. She wore out about a third of the way through, and still required help. She is getting closer. It won't be long before she is a more independent reader...
Motherhood is a blessing.
Hang in their... I think of you often.
ReplyDeleteI came from a broken home. More than one actually. I know the impact it has on children regardless of whether the one who isn't there thinks they are doing enough. Being there (as in standing by your spouse, eating dinner, etc) is enough, anything else is falling short.
I also can say that I love my dad and admire him every day for being there. I give him credit for a lot of who I am and appreciate that he stayed when the other did not.
Your kids appreciate you just as much as you appreciate them and as they go through the cycle that this sort of change brings, it will end with them loving, admiring and respecting you for the changes and adjustments you had to make for them. :)