Domestic Christmas

Christmas has not even arrived yet, and I am already blessed with the most amazing gifts.

A few months ago, The Referee took a second job that may end up becoming a new career opportunity in the future.  For now, it is a means to bring in some extra income to reduce our debt.  Since he knew he would be working a ton of hours, and not able to visit very often, he encouraged the kids by telling them that we would take a portion of his earnings and pick a nicer Christmas gift this year.  The kids have their eyes on DS handheld systems, and tablets.  I saw the opportunity to get a Kitchen Aide mixer.

My sister bought a Kitchen Aide mixer a couple years ago, and loved it.  I could not swing the expense at the time, but I have been listening to her positive comments about how nice it is.  I have scoped them out each year when they go on sale.  This year, I was able to take advantage of a Black Friday sale and get a red mixer that matches my kitchen.  Merry Christmas to me!  

Since they wanted me to do some pre-Christmas baking, The Referee and the kids offered that I could open my present early this year.  We joked that we could just put the empty box under the tree, and I will act surprised.  The first item I made with my new mixer was a batch of brownies for Jersey #1's class party.  Brownies are my favorite dessert, so that was perfect too.

The Christmas gift I was not expecting arrived this evening.

I went out to my van after church, and discovered a cute gift basket filled with home-made laundry detergent, fabric softener, and cleaning products.  

A friend had mentioned she was putting something in my van, just before church began, and I did not give it much thought.  I had items in the back of my van that I was going to be transferring to another friend that night too.

I was sitting at a table with  a group of ladies, talking about my big project to clean and organize my house before the New Year.  We were engaged in a lovely discussion about trying to keep a house clean when we have kids around to build up clutter.  In the midst of our conversation, the topic of home-made laundry soap popped up.  That was something I had been meaning to try out a year ago.  I had even started collecting my empty laundry detergent containers to store it in.  (Then tragedy struck my life and any project that was more than basic survival was dismissed).  

Jersey #2 had been helping me conquer the mountain of laundry this week.  She has been telling me that we are almost out of detergent and need to go to the store.  That got me thinking I really need to look into the homemade detergent idea again.

So, when the ladies started talking about homemade laundry detergent, fabric softener, and cleaning products, I started paying close attention.  I was drilling my friend with various questions about her methods.  After the 3rd or 4th question, she told me that a sample of the products she makes and uses....along with their recipes....was included in the items she put in my van.

Hallelujah!  

I had no idea that she was filling such a need in my life when she asked if she could put something in my van tonight.

God is SO Good!

As I looked through the basket and read over the recipes, I could not help but smile at the whole orchestration of this gift.  This goody basket that I was not even expecting was filled with the very things I have been wanting to try making myself.  They are also really good ways to cut costs in the family budget (which is also a need in my life).  I had no idea my friend made all her detergents and cleaning products, and had been using them long enough to perfect her recipes.  She had no idea these things were on my mind, because we had not discussed them before.  I had no idea she would be blessing me with this basket.  Of course, she gave me the basket before our conversation even started.  Clearly, this is a God-thing.

At this point in my life, you would think that such "coincidences" would not surprise me.  One recurring theme of this past year has been that God will supply all of my needs.  I don't even have to ask specifically.  My needs are always met.  Even in the midst of suffering, I can find comfort in the sovereignty of God, and know that He is in control of all things.  God has a plan.  It is a good one.

Considering my Christmas gifts so far, I am starting to think that there may be some domestic skills planned for my future!

Tunnel Vision

It probably would have made more sense if I had written all throughout my journey this summer.  There is so much growth happening in my life.  I don't always have the opportunity to sit down and put it all to words.

This summer was one of the busiest seasons I have ever faced.  That says a lot coming from me, because I know how to fill a calendar to the max.  I started out the summer with the plan of having a relaxing time, and a few activities.  The way it actually went was to go, go, go!  Looking back, I see that being THAT busy had a protective quality.  I was too busy to wallow in self pity.  I was too busy to think about all that I have lost this year.  I was too busy to spend much time in the depths of despair.  My maxed out calendar had me putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward without taking much time to stop and think.

All along the way, there were lessons and instructions to ponder.  Only, I did not have much time to ponder.  So, the lessons stacked up, one on top of the other.  I would hear a sermon, or Bible lesson, and think "ooh, that is good stuff!  I need to meditate on that some more."  But, there was not much time for delving into it, before our next activity.  The next thing brought about another lesson, usually something that added to the previous lesson.  I am totally impressed by the way God wove these life lessons together, piece by piece, throughout my incredibly busy summer.

My attitude was not very good through it all.  I would hear sermon after sermon about suffering, and causes of suffering, and such.  But, I would always moan and sigh about how trials stink!  Let's face it, when I am in the depths of pain and anguish, I relate better to Job's wife than to Job.  I am quick to cry out, "Why me, Lord!?!"  "This is NOT FAIR!"

Of course, my attitude was addressed during our Sunday School lesson on the book of Hebrews.  I understood the references about God correcting us like a parent corrects a child.  That makes sense.  I correct my children in love too.  But, that type of chastening goes hand-in-hand with our sins.  Knowing that God loves me enough to correct me has not been very comforting right now.  During that class, a list was generated, explaining the different reasons that we endure trials.  Although some folks prefer to focus entirely on the category of chastening being due to sin, there are actually other categories that are relevant.  One category is taking a stand for Christ.  Tough times come to those who boldly stand in their faith.  The category that jumped out at me the most during this lesson was the category that trials come to us for a lofty purpose of God.  Whoah!  That really built on the church camp lessons that it may not all work out for MY benefit, but it will work out for God's plan.  

Sure enough, the scripture passage above all the chastening like children stuff, is at the very beginning of Hebrews chapter 12.  The end of verse 1 and beginning of 2 encourages:

"....let us run with patience the race that is set before us, 

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith;"    

Verse 3 warns to consider all that Jesus went through, himself, to keep us from being weary and weak-minded.

The whole attitude adjustment came to me as we read verse 11:   

"Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, 

but grievous; 

nevertheless afterward it yieldeth 

the peaceable fruit of righteousness 

unto them which are exercised thereby."

With that verse I was struck by the awesomeness of God.  He gets it!  God understands!  Chastening is grievous, when it happens.  (And in my opinion, grieving sucks!)

I get it!  I understand!  AFTERWARD is when the point is made.  

These trials are miserable when we are in the midst of them.

But, the lessons learned, the ways we are changed, the "fruit" that emerges, is the good stuff.

The way to have a better attitude in trials and challenges, is to look forward.  I've been told to keep an eternal perspective, so that the trials of life here on Earth seem small.

To add strength to my new perspective, the author of the book of Hebrews goes on to comment in the last verse, that the point is to serve God, and remember that God is in control.  

As if that is not enough, Chapter 13, verse 6 adds, 

"The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me."

Step-by-step I see why I needed a better attitude about the trials in my life.  I am reminded that God is in control, and everything will work out for His purpose.  The focus should be to point others to Him.  With God on my side, I can courageously move forward through this mess I call my life, and not be afraid of what is coming my way next.  

The light at the end of this tunnel is not daylight.  It is an oncoming train.

This year's trials are not over.  I see that clearly.

Let's recap:  Rejected by my husband who blamed me for his chronic health problems.  Marriage destroyed.  Family broken.  Husband leaves the home to live alone, and I am an instant single mother.  Baby boy dies half-way through pregnancy.  Grieving SUCKS!  Husband goes numb from recent 3 generations of loss in his life---his grandfather, his father, and his son.  He is the last man standing in that line-up.  His eyes are opened to the fact that he is dealing with a very serious, chronic health issue, that is completely out of his control.  Thankfully, he is able to take responsibility for the way he tried to blame it on me, apologizes, and works to build a respectful relationship with me, which is a great benefit to our family as a whole.  He seeks treatment.  I work on forgiveness.  Just when I think there may be a glimmer of light in this horrifying situation, I am bombarded with the limitations of the illness, and the amount of crisis we are still in.  Financial crisis takes its turn to rise.  I take a hard look at my career options, and what my family needs me to do now.  (I won't even go in to how hard it was for me to let go of my career plans when my family needed me to be home, only to have that completely shifted again 9 years later...).  I think I see what direction I am suppose to go, and that gets tweaked to get me more employable, faster.    Even so, we are on the slippery slope to foreclosure and bankruptcy.  Once again, I am reminded about the limitations of this chronic illness.  The trials are not over...

Right now, I feel as though my life is in a tunnel.  I cannot see all around me.  I must just keep moving one step and a time, forward, and hope that I will eventually see daylight.

Being an optimist and a planner, it is really difficult for me to live in the moment.  I have not been able to make much for plans this whole year so far.  That has not improved.  Every time that something positive occurs, and I start to think we are in the home stretch now, I actually end up sliding a few steps back.  Every time that I think I have an idea of what path we are on, I reach a hurdle and have to divert.  It is not easy for me to relinquish control, but that is what I am being required to do right now.  

Let Go, and Let God.

"....let us run with patience the race that is set before us, 

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith;" ---Hebrews 12:1-2

My faith is being tested and grown.  Conveniently, my Pastor is doing a sermon series on spiritual growth.  Even the visiting missionaries seem to have my spiritual growth in mind.  It is a God thing.  The purpose is to point others to Christ.  

I have been so puzzled by that statement, because I think how in the world will others see the love of Christ in my suffering?  This makes no sense to me.

And then, I had a friend bless me with words that rendered me speechless.

She started out, during our visit, by saying to me that she has had the most awful, heartbreaking, difficult life she has ever known anyone to go through.  She thought surely no one has it worse than her.

....until she met me.

I laughed.  It struck me as funny.

The next day, I happened to see her again briefly.  She could not wait to re-iterate her point to me.  She told me that what she was trying to say is

"You are the only person who has been through worse than me, and you still think Jesus loves you!"

I looked her right in the eye and answered, "I know He does."

She smiled and said, "Exactly!  And, that is what you give me.  I need to know that in the midst of my trials, Jesus still  loves me.  And, you remind me of that."

I was speechless.

If I had an emotional response, I am sure I would have been flattered.  But, I was so much in shock that I was in a stunned silence.  In my heart, I was thanking God.  I get it now.  I see the Kingdom perspective a little more clearly.     

I still don't know where I am going, or how all of this is going to work out in the end.  But, step-by-step, I keep moving forward through the tunnel, waiting for the day when the light at the end of the tunnel is daylight, instead of an oncoming train.

Rainbow Braces

Phase One of Jersey #2's orthodontic treatment has begun.

We are visiting the Orthodontist 5 times in 5 weeks.  What an adventure!

The first visit was for me to take a very large chunk out of our Health Savings Account, and pay a down payment for the treatment.  I will just pause for a moment and Praise God for that HSA!  We started this account two years ago, when The Referee began a job that offered one.  The first year, we did not fund it to the full extent we actually needed, and came up short.  (I think that lesson has plagued us for years---not really realizing the full extent of healthcare expenses we need to budget, and coming up short).  This year, we thought we were much smarter to plan for our expenses.  Not only did we think we had enough money coming out of The Referee's paychecks, and into the HSA, to cover our healthcare expenses, but we thought we had planned for a little extra.  Wrong!  We did not plan for orthodontics to begin this year.  (We also did not plan for me needing a root canal this year---what a VERY EXPENSIVE dental procedure to try to save a tooth!)

Such is life.

...at least for us.

But, we did have that extra in the HSA, so the down payment was made, and the monthly payment plan was set up.  And, the crown I need, myself, will have to wait until January, when it is a new HSA year of funds (an amount that we will be increasing during the next open enrollment).  I have finally learned to not add credit card debt anymore.  (Yes, Dave Ramsey has changed my life!)  

Money matters aside, Jersey #1 also had impressions made during that first visit, and various other measurements taken.  Spacers were fitted between her back teeth, to make some room between her molars to hold the bands that hold the expander.  She was briefed about how she could no longer eat sticky foods (caramel, Starbursts, etc), or else the spacers would be pulled out.

I was briefed that if her spacers came out before the week was up, she needed to return and get them replaced. 

Sure enough, a spacer came out.  She wiggled it out with her tongue.

On a Saturday night.

I just knew this was going to mess up the whole orthodontic schedule.

I was on the phone with the Orthodontist's office when they opened Monday morning.  Jersey #2 was given an appointment to return on Tuesday morning to have the spacer replaced.  Thankfully, her Wednesday appointment would not be affected, and the full schedule could progress.

Of course, every single one of these visits requires a very large dose of Amoxicillin to protect her heart.  (Antibiotic prophylaxis to prevent Endocarditis).  At least I remembered to talk to the Pharmacist in advance, and learned that the bottle could last in the fridge for 14 days, leaving me with plenty on hand for these unplanned dental appointments.    

The Wednesday appointment was a big one.  It was suppose to last 2 hours.  I secured childcare for my youngin's, so I could devote my attention to the appointment with Jersey #2.  This appointment involved more measurements, placing brackets around those molars, taking more impressions for the expander device (with the brackets on the molars), and adding braces on 6 front teeth.  

There was also a big discussion about how teeth cleaning habits had to be modified to accommodate the braces and expander.  Jersey #2 was given a big bag of goodies to get things started right now.  She is to brush her teeth 3 times a day (instead of just 2 times), and for 3 minutes at a time (instead of the previous 2 minutes).  Plus, she is to add a fluoride treatment at night.  The list of banned foods was increased to include hard foods and hard objects (no chewing on pencils), and excessive sugary drinks/foods (no soda or bubble gum).  

The dental assistant informed Jersey #2 that she could pick up to 3 colors of rubber bands for her braces each time she visits.  She knew she was getting 6 braces, so she was planning to pick 6 colors of the rainbow.  Her favorite color is still "rainbow."  So, I asked the assistant if she would be willing to do the rainbow for this first visit only.  I was prepared to throw in the "it's her birthday next week" comment too, but that was not necessary.  The assistant immediately agreed, then leaned in and told Jersey #2 that if she asked nicely, the other assistants would probably be willing to do the rainbow for future visits too.  

The Orthodontist commented that Jersey #2 is a "great patient!"  I found that amusing.  I suggested that she has had a lot of practice being a patient.  He agreed.  I let him know that she was intrigued by his office, and all the new procedures, tools, posters, and gadgets he had all around.  She is a curious child, so she was using any down time to peek around and check things out.  

She has also taken the baton for questions.  Typically, The Referee and I are the ones who ask a slew of questions about every treatment and procedure.  For this Orthodontic treatment plan, Jersey #2 is making the Orthodontist and his assistants explain every single tool and procedure, before they do it.  She is drilling them with questions, and I am just sitting back listening and observing.  She really is a great patient.  She has already learned some skills on advocating for her own health.  She also questions them further if a suggested treatment does not seem necessary to her.  When they went to take an additional impression of her jaw, she made them explain why they needed a 3rd, when she only had 2 jaws.  I don't think they are accustomed to having a child interact with them like that.  I have been totally impressed by the way they take the time to explain everything, with joy.  So far, it seems they are happy to share more details about their job, with their patient who has such an inquisitive mind.  

It turned out that the 2 hour appointment only took 1 hour.  Jersey #2 really is a great patient.  Her cooperation made a big difference in their efficiency.  She left the office smiling from ear to ear with rainbow braces.

 

Blessed With Hotdogs

I did not reach out for help this past week, as I was enduring the worst week of my life.

But, help was plentiful all week long.

God is SO Good!

It started with my Mom giving me money for gas for my travels to her house.  I was really short on funds, and trying to make ends meet until the next payday.  I knew I could ask my parents for gas money, and they would generously give.  My Mom continues to tell me to let her know if I need anything.  I thought about asking.  I really questioned if I was to that point that I should ask for a hand-out or not.

I decided to not ask.  I decided to pray for guidance.  I knew that God would provide for my needs.  What I did not know is if I was the point of "need" yet, or was I just wanting to be comfortable and not worry about my bank account going empty.  I tried to calculate if I had remembered all of my expenses for the upcoming week, or was I forgetting about something.  I filled my van with gas, and took the trip, hoping that I had all of my bases covered until payday.  

I arrived at my Mom's house and found an envelope on the guest bedroom dresser that was labeled as "gas money" for me.  God provided for my needs, through my parents, and I did not even have to ask.  I did remember to say thank you.  I was touched by their generosity.  That money filled my tank again, giving me enough gas to return home and also to visit the Youth Ranch twice during the week.

Next, came cash from my sister.  She had a garage sale, and sold a desk that I had previously given to her.  Even though I no longer owned the desk, she gave me the money for it because she said it was mine.  I took that money, and the change I had in my change bank, and made a deposit, to put my mind at ease in case an expense came up during the week.  

Next came the dryer part.  My dryer was trying to break down.  A friend and his wife came over Monday evening to fix it.  He told me in advance that he had a part for it, but if the part was not necessary, he could return it easily.  I was nervous about the expense of fixing the dryer.  I was prepared to make the tough decision about whether or not to fix it, based on the cost of repair.  I was also willing to ask my friend if I could pay him back on Friday, which was payday.  It turned out that the part was needed, and it fixed up the dryer nicely.  My friend told me that I owed him absolutely nothing for parts or services, and that expense was already covered by someone else.  I have no idea if he paid for it himself, or if he was referring to a third party helping me out.  It was too vague, but I was grateful.  What a relief to not have a big repair expense.  In addition, my friend ran to the store and bought 2 bulbs to replace my security light in the front of my house.  

While I was sitting at the dining table, talking with my friend's wife while he fixed the dryer, I glanced over and noticed $5 sticking out of the bag that my sister had brought me.  I was puzzled because I thought I put the money she gave me for the desk into the bank.  I did not realize there was $5 still left in the bag.  How nice it was to have some cash on hand in my pocket.  How nice it really was when Jersey #1 ripped her swim cap during her meet Tuesday morning, and I had the $5 to buy her a replacement cap!  

The Lord will provide for all of our needs...   

Tuesday morning, I gathered up all the water bottles and random snacks I could find to keep the kids fed during the swim meet.  I had just enough items to keep them content, but nothing near what I normally have in stock.  I tossed the ingredients for Chili into the crockpot before we left that morning, so that I could assure the kids that there was a big meal waiting for them for lunch at home.  I had to say no to the request to join the swim team out for lunch after the meet.  There was no budget for a meal out.  

While we were at the meet, I received an email from my Pastor, asking if I could send out a reminder about the church potluck BBQ for the 4th of July.  It said to bring hot dogs, hamburgers, and side dishes.  My mind raced as I went over the contents of my fridge and pantry.  I had foods for making meals to get us through the week...chilli and enchiladas, for example....but I did not account for picnic or potluck BBQ foods.  What in the world was I going to bring?  (Now, I know that it would have been perfectly acceptable to show up to the church picnic without a dish to share.  Our loving church family would have been just fine with that.)  I tried to calculate my bank account from the top of my head to see if I had enough to buy some hotdogs or something cheap like that to bring.  Ugh!  I was going to have to look at the details at home, because I could not come up with a good solution, from the top of my head, right there at the swim meet.

As I was leaving the meet, I received a phone call from a friend.  Since I was in the midst of loading up the kids and the cooler and such, I did not answer.  My friend left a message that said I needed to let her know when I would be home, because the items she wanted to bring me could not be left out in the heat. I was expecting a bucket from her, but could not remember what else she was bringing me.  Since she is getting ready to move, it could really be anything.  I texted her back that I was heading home, and she could come over in an hour, and I would be there.

My friend showed up at my house with a 4th of July goody basket for me and the kids!  It was the coolest thing.  In addition to the bucket she had told me she was giving me, she had it filled with glow sticks, a cartoon movie, squirt guns, mandarin oranges, lemonade, hot dogs, and buns.  She was so excited to bring it to me, knowing that I was going to be having a tough week.  She wanted to do something nice for me.  Her husband suggested she get me a gift card, but she said I would only spend it on the kids.  Her friend suggested a movie-night themed gift basket, and that idea morphed into the 4th of July themed basket instead.  She could hardly wait for me to get home so she could bring it over.  I was flattered.  I was blessed.  I was touched.

But, what struck me the most was the hot dogs.  I shared with her how I had forgotten about the church picnic and did not include potluck foods in my budget this week.  I told her how I was racking my brain trying to figure out how I could scrounge up enough cash to buy some hot dogs or something to take.  I told her that I knew this was a God-thing, because how else would she know that I needed some hot dogs?  We both were amused when it suddenly dawned on her that she had brought me 2 packages of buns, but 3 packages of hot dogs.  She apologized for the miscalculation.  I started laughing and told her that the funny thing was that I actually had 1 package of hot dog buns in my freezer, but did not have any hot dogs to go with it.  

What a blessing to have plenty of picnic foods to bring to the church picnic.  Plus, all the kids loved the glow sticks and squirt guns.  Since risk of fire was such a danger that night, the glow sticks made great night-time fun on the 4th of July.  


God is SO Good!



Babysitting was another need this past week, and God provided.  Our regular babysitters were out of town for the week, and I did not realize it at first.  After they did not respond to my messages, I caught a clue.  I was not sure how I was going to find someone to babysit, even for lunch, on the 4th of July holiday.  Much to my surprise, a young lady from church was off work that day, and willing to come over and watch my kids.  Plus, she was willing to let me pay her when I saw her at church on Sunday (after payday), instead of that day.  (Actually, she was willing to babysit for free, but I didn't want her to do that.)

I also needed a sitter for Jersey #5 on Friday, because the older kids and I were scheduled to volunteer at a food bank.  Children had to be at least 6 years old, for insurance reasons.  Thankfully, I was able to contact a friend from church who was more than willing to have Jersey #5 over at her house all morning. I thought her daughter was at camp all week, which was why I hesitated to ask her to babysit.  But, it turned out the daughter was home already, and they were happy to have a tiny tot around to bring them some laughter after a tough week at their house.  It is such a relief to have such kind and loving people be willing to watch my kids when the need arises.

We were scheduled to work out at the Youth Ranch twice this past week too.  I thought it would do me some good to keep busy, but really I exhausted myself all week, when I was already emotionally exhausted from grief, in the first place.  So, it turned out to be a foolish idea to keep busy all week.  I did not want to fall short on my offer to work at the Ranch.  Thankfully, God took care of me there too.  I am usually asked to water trees or lead an activity, where I am with the crowd of visitors.  Out of the blue, Cowboy Max asked me to 'supervise' a junior volunteer who would be doing a task in the corral with the horses.  For safety reasons, he wanted an adult to be present while she worked.  Even though she had plenty of experience, someone needed to be available to get help if she needed it.  So, my job at the Ranch was to hang out and look like an adult.  That gave me lots of quiet time to think and no pressure to be real social and outgoing (which was something that I just did not have the energy for anyway).  Yet, I "looked" like I was helping and serving at the Ranch, and I was giving Jersey #1 an opportunity to work in the Junior Volunteer Program.  I still can't believe how well that worked out, when I thought I was going to totally tank on my commitment.  

I was dreading the 4th of July this year.  It was my 14th Anniversary, and I am estranged from my husband.  Plus, it is a holiday that our church tends to celebrate with a big social gathering.  It is not easy to be social when you are grieving a loss.  I had previously considered the idea of asking my husband if he would like to go out for a meal for our anniversary, but I did not have the funds to offer.  So, I had let the idea go.  Much to my surprise, my husband asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner to commemorate our anniversary!  He told me that he had been thinking about it, and it seemed that 14 years of marriage, and our 20 years together really should be recognized.  When I told him that was exactly what I was wanting to do this year, but I did not have any money to pull it off, he assured me that he would cover the cost.  What a treat!  I was able to enjoy a lunch date with my husband, and commemorate the fact that we are still married.  I was thrilled to actually reach another anniversary.  It has been a long year already, and a tough year at that.  So, taking the time to acknowledge where we were and where we are now, was great.  I enjoyed every minute of it.  The restaurant was nice.  The food was great.  The conversation was good.  I even enjoyed a laugh.  Coincidentally, it was the same restaurant that we dined at for our 13th anniversary, right after we had gone for massages, for the first time ever.  We were certainly in a different mindset a year ago, but it was so wonderful to see just how far we have come up from darkness and tragedy.

I thank God for that opportunity to take a breather like that, in the midst of this long journey we appear to be on.  I was at peace with the current state of my marriage and family.


It was even nice to be able to go to the church BBQ, and not feel sad or tearful.  Instead, I enjoyed the company and enjoyed celebrating the holiday with friends.  


As if the blessings were not plentiful enough all week long, my sister emailed me to suggest that she could bring Jersey #4 back from Granny & PawPaw's house, and take Jersey #3 in return.  I was planning to take that trip, but she took it for me because she was already coming to town.  It actually was our youngest sister's idea that she transport the grandkids like that.  It had not dawned on either of us that she could do the transport since she was coming to town anyway.  It all worked out beautifully.  I was able to see my sister, brother-in-law, and nephews, and I did not have to make a road trip to exchange kids with their grandparents.  That gave me more flexibility to go to the grocery store on payday, and have plenty of snacks and drinks on hand for Saturday's swim meet.  


By the end of the week, my perspective and my attitude were completely changed.  It was a major overhaul.  Every single detail of my life was handled, and not by me.  Every item that I thought about and tried to figure out in my own strength, was taken care of fully, even though I did not say a word.


I even found rest when swim practice was canceled due to lightning one night.  I told the kids that we were going to bed early that night, and I would start fresh earlier the next morning.  What a difference to get a good night's rest like that!


My Pastor told me that the friend who fixed my dryer had talked to him, so he already knew the dryer needed to be fixed.  He told me that next time, I should tell him when I have a need like that.  He said the same thing about the gravestone.  At the time I was talking about the gravestone, I told him that it was a personal desire, not a true need, so I didn't bring it up.  With the dryer, I had reached a point of deciding that I was just going to make due with what I had, and not expect to have more than I do.  I was not in the mindset of fixing it.  I was in the mindset of how can I get laundry dry anyway.  I have let go of my expectations for my life.  I have let go of my entitlements.  I am trying to stay focused on God, and living my life to serve Him.

Even though I know that my friends and family will help me with food and finances, so my basic needs will always be met, I do not find it necessary to ask for help right now.  Instead, I am waiting on God.  He supplies all of my needs, in His perfect timing.  He knows all of my needs without me even having to ask.  He knows my thoughts.  He knows my desires.  My prayer is that I will be aware of His guidance and direction for my life, and that I will live in such a way that is honoring to Him.

And weeks like this past week where I was too grieved to function, I simply put one foot in front of the other to keep moving forward, and God took care of everything....even the hot dogs.

God is SO Good!
 


            

Swimming in the Heat

Jersey #1 had a swim meet this week, in the middle of the afternoon, in the middle of the business week.

The Referee said, "Don't these parents have jobs?  How can they attend a swim meet in the middle of the  work day like that?"

He has a point.  And, he had to miss the meet.  Because he has a job.  And, I am very grateful for that.

My eyes were opened to the fact that we are part of a swim team with folks who have money to register multiple kids on the team, buy new team suits (goggles, caps, bags, shirts, etc), and enough flexibility for meets in the middle of the day, in the middle of the work week.  Plus, they often go out for a meal afterward.  We may be out of our league here.  

Aside from that, this is a great swim team, with the most encouraging coaches, and friendly families.  Jersey #1 has improved so much in the past month, that she did not even look like the same kid, compared to the first meet.  Her swimming strength and form is growing in leaps and bounds.  Her confidence is also growing.  She is really enjoying swim team.  

Her goal was to not come in last place.  This cracks me up, because she has the athletic prowess of her mother.  I always enjoyed playing sports, and I enjoy watching sporting events, but I never had much natural athletic talent.  Jersey #1 achieved her goal in 3 of her events.  She came in 5th place out of 6 lanes of swimmers.  She swam freestyle, backstroke, and breaststroke.  She also swam on a freestyle relay (which came in last place).  

It was an extremely hot afternoon.  We borrowed a shade tent, and packed a cooler full of drinks and snacks.  

We still sweated uncontrollably.  The heat was too much.  Jersey #3 took a nap in the shade.  

I slathered the kids in sunscreen, but some of us still managed to turn pink.  Jersey #1 burned on her face.  She now has a nice white crescent on her forehead, where her swim cap protected some skin.

Thankfully, there was a baby pool nearby, separated from the main pool.  I allowed the younger 4 kids to get wet in the baby pool.  I sat in the shade and watched them, then stepped out on the main pool deck to watch Jersey #1 swim each of her events.  We didn't bring swimsuits for the younger kids, so they just got wet in their clothes.  It was quite a blessing to be able to let them get wet and cool off.

Good times in the summer heat!

Acceptance

For once in my life, I am not even sure I can put my thoughts into words.  I have been meaning to write a post to update on things, but it has not come easy this time.

It is no secret that life has been tough for me this year.  Crisis.  Tragedy.  Hardship.  Trial.  Tribulation.  Rejection.  Loss.  Heartbreak.  

It has been too much.

And, yet, I am still here.  I am still alive.  I am still moving forward.

Dare I admit that I am even starting to find joy again!  

It is true that grieving is a cyclical process.  Thoughts and emotions are up and down and go round and round.  Sadness still circles around and tackles me regularly.  Each time, the intensity is less than the time before.  Anger still circles around and tackles my thoughts.  Each time, I am quicker to release the negative thoughts and emotions....to not dwell on them....because I do not want to become bitter.  It is easy to sink into a pity party.  I usually do something to distract me from that path:  turn on upbeat music, go on an outing with the kids to take my mind off things, or read and encouraging book.  

In addition to the despair and anger phases, there is also a component of grieving that is referred to as acceptance.  The open wounds begin to mend.  The pain lessons.  You wake up one day and realize that you made it.  You survived.  You are continuing through the motions of life...and periodically you are starting to enjoy things again.  You are resilient!  

I am reaching more and more moments of acceptance lately.

I still hurt.  My heart still aches for the things I have lost.  It is hard to let go of those hopes and dreams.

But, I no longer despair.  I am no longer paralyzed by the intense sadness.  I am no longer furious at the circumstances I cannot control.  I no longer question "why me?"

I accept that God is in control.

I accept that everything happens for a reason, and God will make good come through the bad.

Being a follower of Christ is not going to spare me from the hardships and heartaches in life.  Life everlasting in heaven awaits, but this life here on Earth will contain suffering.  

There are ways to learn and grow through every trial.  I am not at fault for my baby dying, or my husband walking out.  These things did not happen to punish me.  Good things happen and bad things happen, regardless of how I live my life.  It is how I respond to those things that make the difference.  

I have a choice.

I can choose to wallow in my own pity.  I can choose to be angry and bitter about how my life is unfair!  I can choose to quit.  I can sit down and pout.  I can refuse to take the risk to love again, because if I open up my heart, it might break again.

OR

I can choose joy!

Happiness is easy when everything is going well and life is good.  Sadness is easy when everything is going wrong, and life is difficult.

Joy is not easy.  Joy requires conviction.  Joy requires taking a risk.  Taking a leap of Faith.  Putting myself out there.....opening myself up to be attacked by the next hardship.  

Joy comes from knowing I am not in control, but I am resilient.  I am loved by God.  This side of eternity is so short and so insignificant compared to what's to come.  

Joy sees that blessings are abundant, even during hardship.

I choose joy!

I choose to let go of my entitlements, my plans, my expectations for my own life.  I choose to surrender all that I am to my God, my Lord and Savior.  I choose to live in His will.  

I wrestled through the sermon series, Not A Fan, so much, that I bought the book.  A sentence in the book jumped out and grabbed hold of me....

"Dying to yourself may mean that you selflessly love a spouse who has cheated you out of a marriage you so desperately wanted."

Well, that hit me like a ton of bricks.  

I feel cheated of the marriage I want.  I feel cheated out of the family I want.  I feel cheated out of the lifestyle I want.

And, my focus on those things cheats me out of joy!

Much like getting stuck in one phase of the grieving cycle halts healing, I can get stuck in my entitlements and miss out of the life that God intends for me.  

I have finally reached a point where I freely admit that I surrender MY life, and seek to live God's plan instead.  

A missionary who visited our church recently, spoke in his message about how we should be prepared for God to change things up in our life, regardless of our plans.

I thought I had gotten to that point, when I let go of the medical school dream and chose to stay home and provide the best care I could to my heart-patient daughter.  Recently, I realized that I did not truly surrender that career the way I thought I did.  I held onto it.  I mourned the loss of medical school.  I mourned the loss of the big career.  I felt as though I had failed.  I envied my friends who went on in that career path without me.  

Similar feelings arose when my husband left.  I mourned the loss of the relationship.  I felt the pain of rejection.  I felt like a failure.  I grieved the loss of the hopes and dreams and plans that I had for my life.

Worst of all was mourning the end of my childbearing.  I would welcome more children, but that is not what I am being asked to do right now.  I am being asked to let go of that desire.  

As I have worked through the decision to be a completely committed follower of Jesus, and die to myself, I started to see my life circumstances through new eyes.

I see that suffering the loss of children has brought my love to deeper levels.  I know what I stand to lose, and I know how deep that pain is.  I love my children with a depth of love that can only be filled so full because the previous pain had carved that far into my heart.

Suddenly, the career, the lifestyle, and the marriage plans I had look so superficial.  Those things look great on a Christmas card newsletter.  The quality and depth of those details of life are so much more important than what sounds good on paper.

As I look around me, I realize that my life really is no where close to what I had planned for myself.

But, it is not bad.

I do not have the big career, but I have the big opportunity to be home to raise and school my children.  I get to live their childhood with them, watch them grow, and guide them along the way.  I get to enjoy these motherhood years.

My marriage is not intact, but I've got the best ex-husband ever!  He is carrying the weight and responsibility of the finances.  He appreciates the way I am raising the children and keeping their life stable.  Periodically, he takes us to lunch or to a movie, or buys something that is a real treat to me, and lets me know that somewhere deep down in the midst of his own struggles, he still cares.  

I don't have the opportunity to plan for the future.....to plan for financial improvements, to plan for more children, or to even plan a vacation!  But, my needs are being met, and I am able to live life to the fullest in the moment!  

I do not know what tomorrow will bring.

But, today, I choose JOY!

      

  

Bowling

We have been enjoying many afternoons at the bowling alley.  The Kids Bowl Free program has turned into a real blessing for our family.  I had no idea the children would like bowling so much.  They are having such a good time bowling, that I decided to purchase the family pass, so that I can bowl with them.

The way the program works is that you go online and sign up.  They email me the free passes each week, and I print them out.  Each child can bowl 2 games, for free, each day of the summer.  The only expense is shoe rental.  Well, shoe rental can cost $2.25 per person, so that can really add up.  But, the bowling alley offered a "shoe pass" for the summer, to go along with the free bowling.  There was an upfront cost to get a pass for each kid and myself, at $9.95 each.  The shoe pass paid for itself by the 5th time we bowled.  The Family Pass allows adults to bowl with the kids.  That pass is for up to 4 adults, and costs $24.95.  That is a good deal all by itself.  But, then a special coupon code circulated, where I could buy the Family Pass and save 15%. 

In the end, I spent $9.95 per person for a shoe pass, and $21.21 for a bowling pass for myself.  That is hardly bowling for free!  But, that $80 is quite a deal for all of us to go bowling as many days as we want this summer.  By comparison, $80 is what one sport activity (soccer, basketball...) costs for 1 child, for a 2 month period.  So, I am quite pleased that the expense of this "free" bowling program is well worth the cost.     

On occasion, I will order a pizza for the kids to share.  They think that is a real treat.

Some of our friends have signed up too.  So now we have a fun, cool activity to do with friends on those hot summer afternoons.

When I tried bowling for the first time since purchasing the pass, I was quite rusty.  It had been over 3 years since I had bowled.  Jersey #2 looked at her score and told me that she needed to "kick it up a notch."  She then looked at my score and said, 

"You need to kick it up about 5 notches, Mom."

Thanks dear.

Leap of Faith

I was originally thinking I would give myself a full year to grieve and heal and mend, before considering any other life changes.  

But, I continue to have a prompting to take another leap of faith right now.  

I am going to pursue that Nursing career that has been on the back burner for years.  

When Jersey #2 was born with a heart condition, I had to come to grips with the fact that my medical school dreams needed to be halted, so I could be home to provide her care.  (Ironically, I wanted to be a Cardiologist).  When we decided to homeschool our children, I had to entirely abandon the idea of becoming a Doctor.  I comforted myself with the idea that I could still work in the field of medicine one day, by becoming a Nurse Practitioner.  The plan in the back of my head was to go to the community college and get on the slow track, once my kids were old enough to be home alone or with each other.  The Associates of Nursing (RN) program is 4 semesters long.  A Bachelor of Nursing program can often be done online after that, at many universities.  By the time I would pursue the Master's training to be a Nurse Practitioner, the kids would be grown.  It wouldn't matter how old I was as I was pursing this "next" career, because my heart's desire is to go on medical mission trips.  I can do that as a Nurse, even when I am a grandmother!  

I have been considering the details of life as a single mother, and how to provide for my children.  My previous employment was in bio-medical research laboratories, and clinical testing laboratories.  It was interesting work, but very low pay.  

I realize that Nursing is a really good career for single motherhood.  A family can live on a Nursing salary.  There are many options for a flexible schedule, to work as few or as many shifts as are needed.  Even if our basic needs continue to be provided, I can work part-time to supplement the budget to allow for more schooling and extra-curricular opportunities.  Best of all, medical insurance is a benefit of most Nursing jobs.  

The prompting to look into it was so strong, that I stayed up way too late one night, researching the information on the computer.  I was really encouraged by the details.  My previous Biology degree gives me majority of the prerequisite courses already.  I have to repeat 3 lecture classes, and possibly 1 lab class,  because my coursework is considered too old and outdated.  There are 3 other prerequisite classes that I have also had previously, that may or may not transfer.  So, I would only need to take 3 to 6 classes to complete the prerequisites to apply to the program.  The wait list to enter the training is approximately 2 semesters to a full year after that. 

Add the detail that majority of those classes have an online option.  I could take the prerequisites now, while still being home with my kids.  I was really encouraged when a family at church offered to help me with the kids for the classes I need to take on site.  This family is going to teach enrichment classes, in their home, so that my children can be learning while I am at class, 2 afternoons a week.  

At age 11, children can stay home alone.  At age 12, children can take the Red Cross babysitting course and be responsible for the care of others. 

In the amount of time it will take me to complete the prerequisites and wait out the application process, my children will start turning 11 or 12 in succession.  That means we can get through the 4 semesters of Nursing school, without having to depend fully on others for childcare.  

It won't be easy, but it certainly seems possible.

When I started to mention the idea to friends, I received a lot of encouragement.  One friend commented that she thought I would do well with the academic distraction right now, instead of dwelling on the emotional challenges in my life.  I think that is a good point.  

I am thinking this is the time to embrace academics.  I am blessed to be able to homeschool the children still, so I will make education our top priority, and set the example myself.  

It is a big leap...

Ready.  Set.  Go!

  

Short-sale Adventures

We were oh-so-close....

...and yet so far.


We thought we were on target for an approval of our offer for that house that is in short sale. Instead, we received a casual counteroffer from the bank that owns the home.

It wasn't even official paperwork.

It was an email to the Seller's Realtor. The bank dragged the sellers through a paperwork obstacle course, in order to consider selling their home "short" of the amount owed on the mortgage. It looked like every piece of paper had been received and screened, and an approval was on its way. Our Realtor was ready to order the housing inspection and move the process along. Our lender had locked in a great interest rate and was ready to move us toward closing. We were only waiting on that official word, saying that the bank accepted our offer. Instead, the Seller's Realtor received a 2 sentence email that read,

"The listing price is too low. It needs to be (insert amount that is $15K higher than we offered)"

What?!? Seriously? The Realtors were shocked. They discussed it before they even told us. Our Realtor called me and prefaced her announcement with, "We have never seen this before. They are asking for more than the list price." She then suggested we talk it over, and let her know what we wanted to do.

We talked it over. We said NO WAY! We were not paying more than the list price on the house. In the current market where homes are foreclosing all over the place? That is silly. That house has been on the market for months, and we were the only offer. There is no competition here. Foreclosure auctions are not even getting better prices these days.

Knowing this sale was a short sale, we had already offered to pay for all inspections for closing. So, we told our Realtor that we were not going up $15K. We asked her advise as to whether we simply tell them no.....or do we counteroffer with a $5K increase and have them pay some of the inspections and fees for closing.

Our Realtor later emailed us a copy of the email exchange between the Seller's Realtor and the bank. It was absurd. The Seller's Realtor told the rep that the buyers find the price increase unacceptable. The bank rep responded that as soon as the Seller's Realtor received a higher offer, they would proceed with the short sale.

So, it sounds like the bank is not willing to accept our offer.

The part that was entertaining was the way that the Seller's Realtor attempted to be logical with them. He tried to point out that there were NO other offers on this property. When the sale price was higher, there were very few showings. When the sale price dropped, there were no offers. When the sale price dropped again, we were the only offer.

We knew this short sale process could bust at any point. It is still shocking to learn how these banks operate. I actually feel sorry for the sellers. They have been so close to foreclosure and thought this was going to be a way out. They were diligent to provide every piece of paper the bank requested. It is sad that the bank waited until after the sellers jumped through all the hoops, just to announce that they were not going to accept our offer after all.

(The Referee went online and learned that this particular mortgage company is known for mistreating sellers this way. They have a reputation for buying mortgages in foreclosure, stringing the sellers along, then foreclosing anyway.)

We have processed the reality that this house will probably not become our new home. We are giving them a few days to hash out their emails and figure out which point we consider that we have an "official" no.

To add to our housing adventure, our next-door neighbor put their house on the market to sell a week after we did.

We are starting to wonder if these are signs that it is not time to move yet. Time should bring more clarity...

For Sale

We have officially taken a flying leap...

Our house is on the market to sell.

I am not exactly sure what to expect. The amount of work that went into getting our house and yard cleaned up and organized just to let the Realtor enter and take pictures was huge. The signing of paperwork for the Realtor, and her listing the home was very simple by comparison. Now, we wait....

We wait to see if there is any interest in the house at all. We wait to see if there are any offers. We wait to see if we are on the right track or the wrong track with our housing situation.

We are also waiting for news on the house that we are seeking to purchase. Just over a month ago, we made an offer on a house that was a hair away from foreclosure. It is in short sale. The sellers are asking their mortgage company to accept our offer, which is short of the amount they owe on the property. Short sales take time. So, we wait...

Patience is a virtue.

But, not a virtue that I possess.


This whole experience is very odd to me. It is not a crisis. We are in no rush. Actually, most of the events are completely out of our hands. There is not much to even worry about. Does this mean I might be gaining some patience? Weird.

I can see that there is some sort of lesson here. I just don't know what that lesson is. The Referee and I are growing. We are communicating, weighing options, processing information, and making decisions together. We have not had such joint effort in a long time, if ever. It is strange. Nice strange, but definitely out of the norm for us.

I know God is in control. He does not need me to micromanage things.

I can't wait to see how this story unfolds. The parts I have experienced so far have been fun.

The house we are trying to buy, was on the market over a year ago. Our friends who live just up the street from it mentioned that we should buy it and become neighbors. I laughed off the idea, because we were not in the market to buy a house at all. I didn't even look at any details of the house.

I have driven past the house many times, and saw the "For Sale" sign out front. I was not phased.

Something changed one day in January. I drove past that house to take Jersey #1 and Jersey #2 to our friend's house, and all was well. A couple hours later, when I drove past again, the sign out front caught my eye. The top of the sign had been changed. Instead of reading "For Sale," it said, "4-Bedrooms."

That afternoon, I got on the computer and looked up the house information in the real estate directory. The price seemed VERY low for that neighborhood. There were other homes in that same neighborhood priced at least 20% higher. Otherwise, I noticed the home had a lot of features we say we want in our next home--2 living areas, a smaller yard, and a garage, specifically. I assumed something must be wrong with it, to be priced so low.

The following week, when I met with my friend and asked her what was the scoop on that house, and why was it priced so low? She explained that it was in foreclosure, and the owners had moved out of state with a job change. They had tried to sell it, tried to rent it, and that did not go well. Her face lit up when she asked if we might be interested in it. Initially I brushed off her excitement by saying that we were not actually looking for a house at this point, because other bills would need to be paid before we could even consider asking for a mortgage. She told me she and her family would be praying about it.

It was February before I finally mentioned the house to The Referee and told him about it and about the details our friend knew. We took a look at our financial situation and ran some numbers. We decided to tackle a couple more bills before even contacting the Realtor about the house.

The next day, The Referee had an idea about how readjust our finances and pay off two more of our smallest debts. We jokingly call it his "out of the box" thinking. I love making those final payments and shading the debts off my spreadsheet. Our debt snowball is really rolling now!

We took a second look at our finances, and talked about the opportunity again. Do we dare take out a mortgage on a new house before selling our current house? Do we think our house will sell well at all? Are we remembering all the expenses that are involved in moving and re-hooking up utilities? Yes.

I emailed our Realtor and gave her the information about the house and asked her to give us the "inside" scoop on the status of the house.....and if it was even worth going to the bank and asking for another mortgage.

She emailed back and said that house was in short sale, not yet foreclosure. She said she had experience with short sales, and they take longer to process, but were not necessarily bad. Financially, the house was a good deal. She said she would go see it in person that afternoon and email me some pictures.

She actually called me from the house, because she was so pleased with it as a nice house for our family. She described the details and emailed me pictures. She said it was definitely worth going to the bank and seeing about a loan. So we did. That evening, the Realtor called me to say that the sellers had just decreased the listing price THAT DAY! They had no idea we were interested, and they are desperate to sell it. The decreased price was the exact price The Referee and I had talked about offering.

The loan adviser called me the next morning and said we were in good shape for a loan, and she only needed minimal paperwork to verify income. I admit I was a bit surprised by this information. Part of me was expecting the bank to say no to another mortgage, which would put an end to this pursuit immediately.

That weekend, we arranged with our Realtor to go see the house, in-between some of the kids' basketball games. I was shocked when both The Referee and I loved the house right from the start. (That was not the case with all of the homes we looked at prior to buying the house we currently live in). It really is a nice home. It was clear that it had been well-taken care of until this recent year when it had renters and sat empty. It would only take some cleaning and painting, and very minor repairs to restore its original beauty and functionality. It was a great fit for our family.

After contacting the seller's Realtor, our Realtor explained that the house was a hair away from foreclosure, so we should put our offer in right away. There was no one else making an offer, but our race was against the foreclosure. We collected the paperwork for the bank loan and got that ready for The Referee to FAX first thing in the morning. I emailed the loan adviser and told her the FAX would be coming, and we wanted an approval letter as fast as possible.

The Referee and I had a big discussion about this endeavor. We researched short sales and learned about how much they require time and patience. Short sales can bust at any point along the process. We decide that we are not getting our hearts set on this house. The odds were against us getting it, if it was that close to foreclosure anyway. We were not in a hurry to move, but were seeking this great opportunity. If it fell apart, we would be fine, because we already have a home. We have plenty of time to let the short sale process unfold, since we do not need to move.

We signed the offer paperwork, and waited on the bank. The loan adviser called me the next morning, and explained that it was going to take 2 or 3 days to get the approval letter. This same lady who was telling me on Friday that we were all set and in good shape, was now telling me Monday morning, that we needed more assets, and she couldn't understand my income (due to the shift differential I get for working evenings). I calmed her down by explaining my paycheck to her, answered her questions about our assets, and then said Ok we would wait on the letter.

I figured it was a no deal already, if the loan status had changed. I emailed the Realtor and The Referee and gave them the update. I was visiting with friends and sharing the story, when the loan adviser called again. Less than an hour had passed from our first phone call that morning. This time, she was cheerful and informed me that she was emailing me the approval letter immediately. She did not tell me what suddenly changed. My friend joked that maybe she just needed a cup of coffee first.

The Realtor sent the offer letter to the Seller's Realtor. Little did we know, they went back and forth all day long, sharing the details of the short sale process.

Late that same evening, our Realtor forwarded an email from the Seller's Realtor, saying that it was too late: the house was already in foreclosure, and an auction date was set. Ah, well. We tried. We decided it just wasn't meant to be at this time.

Much to our surprise, our Realtor called the next afternoon. The status on that house had changed, and the mortgage company decided to postpone the auction and look at our offer. We were ON again! How exciting!

An entire month went by, and we heard nothing about our offer. The internet was right, short sales take time. Our Realtor said that the Seller's Realtor kept assuring her it still looked good. We were growing doubtful. We passed the time by Spring Cleaning our own house and getting it ready for the market. We decided to go ahead and list it, and see how it did on the market, while we waited for the short sale process.

In the meantime, the neighbors noticed another Realtor at the house, taking pictures. It turns out that person was an independent broker who was taking pictures for the mortgage company while they assessed the value of the home compared to what was owed on the mortgage, compared to our offer. It made us wonder if it might be headed for auction afterall.

The Realtor came over last weekend to take pictures of our house. As we signed the listing contract with her, I was a bit overwhelmed by the idea of trying to keep our house clean and decluttered for showing for the next 6 months. Yikes.

After a long weekend of work, yard work, housework, and paperwork, The Referee and I had an interesting chat about how we pack our life. We decided we need to look at things differently. We usually say, "Can we do this?" We need to start saying "Should we do this?"

We decided that we have done all the hard work in this housing process. An offer is on the table. Our house is on the market. Six months from now, we will either have a new house or not. We will either sell our house or not. We are in maintenance mode right now, and that is good. In the meantime, we keep working, schooling, purging junk, and paying down debts. We thought we had it all figured out.

This morning, our Realtor forwarded an email from the Seller's Realtor which explained that they had made it through another step in the process. The auction that was set for today had been postponed. They had been meeting with a "screener" at the mortgage company so far, and now they were dealing with an actual closer/negotiator. It looks like we might be closer to an approval on our offer soon.

I am not sure how "soon" is defined in a short sale. It is a lesson in patience, for sure.