Love & Respect

I just finished reading this book, Love and Respect. It is written by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. I borrowed this image of the book from his website.

The entire subject matter of this book is based on God's command in Ephesians 5:33...

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

The book is filled with many wonderful points, but there were a few that struck me with tremendous strength...

• A man needs respect (reverence) from his wife, just like a woman needs love from her husband. The author mentions that most relationship seminars focus on love, but leave out the role of respect.
  
• Respect is not a recommendation or suggestion.....it is a command from God.
• I need to show unconditional respect to my husband, much like I show unconditional love to my children. Unconditional.....meaning I don't wait for him to earn it.
• If we think about the beginning of our marriage, we married good-willed folks. So why do we assume the role of enemies when times are tough? (This was HUGE for me, because I have reached a point of denying that my husband has good intentions toward me. I am now reminded that his intentions are not evil. Poorly executed, but not evil. There is a BIG difference.)

I've received an attitude adjustment just by reading this book.

Dr. Eggerichs goes on to explain that a "Crazy Cycle" occurs in a marriage when a woman feels unloved, she reacts disrespectfully, and when a man is disrespected, he reacts in an unloving way. So, our reactions bring forth the worst response in each other.

On the other hand, if a woman makes a point to respect her husband, and a man makes a point to love his wife, then we energize our relationship.

My husband's intentions are not for evil, and I need to be respectful toward him. What a difference those two lessons make in my marriage and in my life!