Jersey #1

Jersey #1 is our first live-born child. Our beautiful, intelligent, creative daughter. She is a social butterfly who migrates to the crowd...where the most potential friends are available...the moment she arrives. As far as she is concerned, everyone is her friend.

She was blessed with blonde hair and light blue eyes. Her eyes are so light blue, they capture attention. She has even been given free cookies at McDonalds, just because her blue eyes delighted the cashier so much.

Jersey #1 was an incredibly easy baby. She ate well, slept well, played well, and smiled at everyone. As new parents, we were blessed to have her first, because she made all of our parenting choices easy. She did well in Mommy's care, in Daddy's care, and even in day care. To this day, we say that she would be successful no matter which schooling option we had chosen. She is an adaptable kid.

When Jersey #1 was only 6 months old, we noticed her keen memory. She only had to be shown something once, and she remembered it. This ability has grown with her to the point that she has an incredible comprehension of any book she reads. She does not forget a Bible verse that she has previously memorized. And, she has a gift for languages. She has always been a verbal child. She was identifying basic animals and their sounds at 9 months old. We assumed that was the norm, because we didn't know any better. (We later learned that none of our other children talked as well, as early).

Jersey #1 has always been in a big hurry to grow up. When she was 2 years old she climbed into the driver's seat of the van. She started crying when we told her to sit in her car seat. When we asked her what she was crying about, she answered, "I want to drive." We laughed, but she was serious. Now, at 8 years old, she is anxiously awaiting the opportunity to become a teenager.

Jersey #1 was a tall kid right from birth, but her height went off the top of the growth charts by the time she was 2 years old. She had the weight ratio to go with it, at first, so she was a BIG toddler. She wore clothes that were 2-3 sizes higher than her age. By the time she was 4 years old, her height returned to the chart, and her weight ratio was slimming fast. For the past few years, she has been holding steady with a height above the 90th percentile and weight in the 80-85th percentile. This gives her a really healthy (genetically blessed) height/weight proportion and BMI. She continues to receive a lot of attention about her height. She does suffer with some awkward strides and growing pains at times.

We have joked that Jersey #1 is going to be a lawyer, because of the way that she seeks a loophole to any rule. As a preschooler, when she was told she had to clean her plate before she could get up from the table, she promptly tossed her sandwich to the dog and then said her plate was clean. We have also joked that Jersey #1 is going to be a corporate executive because she always wants to be in charge. She looked at us with a confused expression and replied, "I don't know what that is, but I just want to be the BOSS!" As she grows, it is nice to see her use those loophole skills to find the logic behind the rules, and to see that bossiness be replaced with skills of leadership.

Jersey #1 loves to dream and create. She almost always has a journal in her arms, because she likes to write. She likes to think about things, talk about her thoughts and dreams, and write lists and notes about her thoughts. She has always enjoyed arts and craft activities, and recently took up sewing. After being shown once how to follow a pattern, she sewed a new shirt for her doll. I had no idea she could do such a thing.

Jersey #1 taught us the meaning of Princess. She is a girly-girl....to the extreme. There have been many times when The Referee has thrown up his hands in exasperation and announced to me that "she is such a girl!" She admires beautiful things and beautiful people. She has always taken great care to match up her outfits and accessories, including making sure her outfit matches the theme of the event she is attending. With her "It's all about the outfit." She will put on her basketball uniform to practice basketball, then change into her ballerina outfit to dance in the living room. She changes clothes at least 8 times a day. She went through such a big Princess phase, that she even wore her Princess dress-up clothes to church, or out to the store. She did not cry for her first haircut. She smiled at herself in the mirror. She enjoys the entire beauty shop process, and has taken to explaining her hair style wishes with the stylist herself. (Thankfully, the stylist runs every decision past me before making that first cut). At 8 years old, she is already a fan of manicures and pedicures.

On of the greatest things I love about Jersey #1 is her heart for others. She has a nurturing spirit. She is a great oldest child of a large family, because she is the best big sister to many siblings. She takes the role to super hero status, calling herself "Super Big Sister." She has been happy to help from the age of 19 months, when Jersey #2 arrived. When Jersey #2 would cry, Jersey #1 would drop whatever she was playing with on the spot, and run toward Jersey #2 yelling over her shoulder, "I got it!" She has welcomed each of her siblings into our family with open arms....and continues to ask for more siblings to arrive. She loves to hold babies (she especially loves those precious baby feet). She knows how to hold a bottle, dress a toddler, and rock a younger sibling to sleep for a nap. Actually, she knows so much about taking care of babies, that she sometimes tries to tell her Mom and Dad how to do things, forgetting who taught her in the first place. Jersey #1 will cheerfully be a companion to her own younger siblings, as well as the siblings of her peers, so they can ride the kiddie rides at the amusement park. She will climb into any playstructure to rescue a crying child, even a stranger's child. Younger children trust her, smile at her, and enjoy her care.

Jersey #1 is a sensitive child. She has a lot of empathy for others. Tears come to her eyes whenever she sees someone else crying. She doesn't want anyone to feel bad, and tries to bring comfort whenever she can. She seeks to please her parents, and is compliant to our rulse and instruction.

My biggest concern for Jersey #1 is the influence of her peers. She is at an age where the importance of the opinons of her peers is growing. Her feelings hurt easily. She wants to identify with the same likes and dislikes of her friends. I worry about her being poorly influenced, and not having the strength to take an opposing stand. She likes to be part of the crowd and will often give in to the activity choice of a friend, just to keep the peace. We are focusing on helping her internalize her values, see the height of her self-esteem, and verbalize her feelings and emotions.

Jersey #1 is a precious gem. Even though she is growing up way too fast for my liking, it is so amazing to watch her gifts and talents grow too. It is fun to dream about where these skills may take her. Will she become fluent in another language? Will she take on a career with a leadership role? Will she raise a large family? Will she serve the needs of others? I don't have the answers now, so we will have to wait and see what the future holds.

Roll Call

I am gearing up for some scrapbooking fun this upcoming weekend. I love scrapbooking. It mixes 2 of my passions together in 1 creative outlet.....my kids and pictures of my kids! I love raising my kids. I love taking pictures of them as we go through life. I love writing stories about their antics. So, it is a lot of fun to match up the stories with the pictures, add some colorful paper and stickers, and make a scrapbooking album keepsake.

So while I am taking the time to pull out the pictures, all of my tools, supplies, and stories, I thought it would be fun to feature each of my children in a post this week.

Here is the starting line-up of the Home Team....

Happy Father's Day

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO THE REFEREE OF THE HOME TEAM!

Since The Referee spent Father's Day sick in bed with a terrible stomach bug, I will not post any pictures of him taken today. Poor guy. He is a mess. Hopefully this is one of those 24 hours bugs...

I helped the kids bake him a cake, which he is too sick to eat. We decided to save him some to pack in his lunch tomorrow. I gave Jersey #2 some of the batter so she could make him a cake in her Easy Bake Oven. She was mighty proud of herself. She was so excited to show it to her Daddy, that she forgot to frost it first. Then, Jersey #5 discovered it, and dug right in. Well, those Easy Bake cake pans are so tiny, that he managed to eat half of it before I was able to realize that he was happily broadcasting, "Mmmm!!!" with every bite!

Oh the memories! It is a good thing that we don't try to achieve perfect holidays like we see in magazine photos. So far, we find a lot of laughter, but not an ounce of perfection. I like it that way.

Lessons in Discipline

During the process of mulling around the concept of discipline being rooted in discipleship (a previous post), I have been analyzing (probably over-analyzing) some of the lessons I have learned about discipline through the years.

Let me be the first to say that I do not have all the answers. I have a handful of children, but none of them came with an instruction manual. I am a work in progress, learning as I go. Just like everyone else. With more children, comes more experiences.....as well as more mistakes. I know so little about this subject, that I am certain I can fit the entire depth of my knowledge in this one post...

I do take my calling to motherhood seriously. I pay close attention to all of the Bible verses about parenting. That is my instruction manual. I have a clear goal: to bring my children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

(Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.)

I see 2 specific parts to this goal:

1) nurture (love, care for)

2) admonition (counsel, correction)

BOTH are required. Discipline without love is abuse. Tending to a child's physical and emotional needs, without teaching them right from wrong, reduces them to the level of a pet. Human beings have individuality and character that need guidance.

I am a simple girl. I do not subscribe to detailed parenting theories. I can check every single one of my parenting decisions against this single, 2-part goal. If either of the two parts is out of balance, it shows very clearly in the results.

If I find myself aggravated or frustrated when disciplining my children, then it is obvious that my nurture response is out of focus. If my children are fed, clothed, hugged, kissed, and rested, but they are hitting, arguing, or breaking the rules, then my counsel/correction responsibility is out of balance. It is not good enough to have one without the other. Both pieces must be in harmony.

Before I had children, I worked at a Children's Psychiatric Hospital. I was trained in all of the popular "psychology-friendly" behavior management methods. I was actually responsible for demonstrating these methods, in order to train the biological parents. Considering that I knew a whole lot more about raising children before I ever had any, I was very good at this job. I set limits. I gave clear instructions. I issued "time-outs" (or loss of privelages) for misbehavior. I processed the situation with the child, following the time-out. I provided consistency. I was a team with the other staff, not allowing the children to split our authority. I mastered the method with time and experience.

And when it was time for me to move on to a career in biomedical research, I showed up to interview with the scientist who ran the lab, sporting a fat, busted-up lip.

A couple days prior, while engaging in a crisis response, I was punched in the face by a 10-year old patient. The problem with those psychology-friendly methods is that they lack a very key ingredient that every child needs: LOVE. Without love, children are unable to thrive. They carry a burden of bitterness, and they soon lose hope that anyone cares. Well, if no one cares, then what is the point in behaving? I've noticed that the parenting books and articles that support time outs (especially compared to spankings) as a primary behavior modification tool, ignore the rest of the psychology-friendly protocol. What if the child does not submit to the time-out? Well, in a psych hospital setting, children are moved to a padded room, with a door that can lock. Nurses are available with sedation medications in various levels. The degree that the child rebels is met with a degree of intervention that would cause loving parents to shudder. Drug them and lock them up....sounds like prison. And sadly, this is what some parents resort to, even at home, when their children are not obeying their authority. Benedryl has a sedative effect. And bedroom doors can be locked.

At the other end of the spectrum, spanking as a primary discipline tool, has become a very heated topic in our society. There appear to be a number of folks who speak out that their loving parents spanked them and taught them right from wrong. There are others who speak out with powerful language that spanking is beating and abusing a child. Considering the goals of nurture and admonition, both viewpoints can be correct.

I have noticed that folks who speak positively about spanking, especially in terms of their own childhood experiences, also mention knowing their parents loved them, and appreciating that their parents taught them right from wrong. Loving correction is a beautiful thing. Children are comforted knowing that their parents care enough about them to want them to achieve a higher standard of behavior.

Folks who speak negatively about spanking do not speak of a connection in loving discipline. They equate spanking with domestic violence and angry parents. Folks who are not as extreme in their language will mention spanking as a last resort, if they are really frustrated with their child's behavior. They praise other parenting methods when they are calm, and spanking when they are angry. That makes no sense to me. If nurture is not there, then abuse abounds. In my opinion, the spanking is not the problem....it is merely a discipline tool, just as a time-out is a discipline tool....the tool is not responsible for the way it is misused. Parents should be calm and controlled when they are administering discipline. The goal is not retaliation. The goal is to correct our children's ill behavior, and guide them toward healthy behavior, because we love them and want what is best for them.

I support spanking as a method of loving correction. I have had the benefit of mentors who demonstrated its proper use. Pain is a fast motivator. It doesn't take us long to learn about a hot stove or the strength of gravity. But, just as a time-out can escalate to neglect in a locked in a room, a spanking can escalate into physical abuse. It is important to establish boundaries and rules prior to administering discipline, so that we parents keep our emotions in check.

It comes down to the specifics....a specific instrument for administering the spanking, (a hand, a wooden spoon) a specific location (on the butt cheeks, and in the kitchen), and a specific goal to achieve (acknowledgment of wrongdoing, and submission to chastening). A parent should set up the parameters and stick to them. If the kitchen is the place where spankings are administered, then a parent will not be swatting the child on impulse in the hallway. If swats are only to be given on the butt cheeks, then a parent will not be slapping in the face or in the back of the head. Some folks use a chart to list the number of swats for different offenses. Others use a single swat per offense. Spankings appear to be most effective in the late toddler, preschooler, and kindergarten ages. The big secret that does not appear to come out in the heated debate, is that spanking as a form of loving correction eliminates itself. The need for spankings drops off quickly, as it is so effective in teaching a child the boundaries of obedience, parental authority, and right from wrong, that it renders itself rather rare and unnecessary by the early elementary school ages.

Time-outs and spankings are not the only tools of discipline, of course, but they appear to be among the most popular. They also seem to generally represent the different sides of the discipline method debate. There is more to the method than the tool though. The tool is only effective if the child submits to the chastening. A child needs to learn what is right and what is wrong. Punishment for wrong behavior must be accepted as the consequence for that choice. Regardless of what tool of discipline is used, if the child rebels against the consequence, the lesson is not learned. The foolish behavior must be driven from the heart of the child. A child who throws a tantrum, yells, and screams when they are told to go to their room, sit down for a time-out, or stand for a spanking, is rebelling against the consequence of their misbehavior. If a parent permits that behavior, then the actual punishment is of no use. If a parent has to wrestle their child into cooperating for a punishment, the child has not submitted to the parent's authority. Instead of learning right from wrong, the child is learning to dodge consequences, and rile their parent to distraction...until the original misbehavior goes ignored, due to the chaos of the parent-child struggle. Sometimes it seems easier to throw our hands up, announce that the discipline method does not work, and give up......and continue to raise an ill-behaved child. Unfortunately, children do not grow out of misbehavior. They carry those core values throughout their lifetime.

It is similar with adults. If I get a speeding ticket, is my response to accept that I was breaking the law, and received a proper consequence? Or is my response to complain about the stupid laws, insult the intentions of the police force, and try to deny any responsibility in the situation? My response is an outward expression of my values....what I hold to be true in my core, in my heart.

I've taken all the lessons in discipline that I have learned so far, and put together the pieces that help me achieve my parenting goals: Nurture my children, love them, and care for their needs. Establish clear limits, and consistent consequences for crossing those limits. Act swiftly to eliminate poor behaviors. Remain calm--if I am frustrated, then that is a sign that I have already let my child go too long in misbehavior, and should have addressed the problem sooner. Admonition involves both discipline and teaching....so I need to take the time to talk with my children about the expectation, their choice, and how choosing the poor behavior chose the consequence of that behavior. Require my children to acknowledge their wrongdoing, submit to the punishment, and apologize to the offended person (if applicable). My goal is that they will internalize my teachings to the point where they begin to acknowledge, submit, and repent on their own over time.

The most important discipline detail comes at the very end....ENCOURAGE! I do not leave admonition on a negative note. I am seeking to raise my children in the admonition of the Lord. Well, God is Love! When we repent, He forgives our sins. So, as a parent, I must forgive the misbehavior of my children. I answer every apology from my children with a smile and the words, "I forgive you." I end every discipline event with the encouragement that I know they will make a better choice next time.

I open my arms, ready to hug my child and remind them that I love them always. There is no misbehavior that will ever take that away.

Garden Vegetables

I have ventured out into unfamiliar territory.....GARDEN VEGETABLES!

The Referee loves vegetables. So do our kids. He once suggested going vegetarian. I said a meal is not a meal if it does not include meat. I reminded him that vegetables are side dishes....what you put at the side of the meat! He laughed at me.

Well, I am laughing at myself now. I joined a local organic farm co-op. I had heard great things about them from some vegetable-loving people in the past....and now they deliver! How convenient to have fresh fruits and vegetables delivered once a week right to our door.

I signed up. And then, I had second thoughts. When produce is labeled "organic"...it is a lot like the labels "wedding" or "baby"....the cost rises dramatically. I liked the idea of supporting local farmers, but the grocery budget has its limits. I decided to try it out for one week, and see what we thought.

Before our first delivery occurred, The Referee had some major attacks of his unidentified food allergy. His health during the past 2 years has been really challenging. He is having some severe allergic reactions. Unfortunately, the tests and treatment attempts are not easily identifying the source of the problem. Whatever he is allergic to is hard to pinpoint and the reactions are getting worse. In desperation, we have started seeking more foods in their natural state, and adding more fruits and vegetables to our meals. As I looked over my grocery shopping list that week, I came to the realization that shifting the grocery budget to include the co-op produce would be in The Referee's best interest.

I was overwhelmed when that first cooler of produce arrived. When I was growing up, vegetables came out of a can. I am not used to seeing garden vegetables, except for tomatoes that ripen on the window sill. I had no idea what half of the items were. I closed the lid and walked away.

I had to consult the list of items on the invoice. Then, I had to Google a few items to learn more about them and how to prepare them. I went back to the cooler and unloaded it onto the table, to see what I was dealing with. That was when I realized I did recognize about half of the items. That made me feel better.

Two weeks later, I have become a fan of fresh produce. I have been including fresh fruit in our breakfast and morning snacks. I have been adding multiple vegetables to dinner. The Referee hardly knows me anymore, because I have become such a vegetable chef! He is not complaining, but he is certainly speechless.

So far, I have narrowed down the vegetables to 4 categories.....

1) vegetables that can be treated like potatoes: peel, cube, toss with olive oil, salt, and garlic pepper, then roast in the oven.

I've done this with Kohlrabi....

...and with beets (which Jersey #5 loved so much that it was all he ate for dinner that night, and he had 4 servings).

I've even boiled turnips, mashed them, and added them to my mashed potatoes.

2) Vegetables that can be diced and sauteed in butter: squash, carrots, broccoli...

3) Vegetables that can be chopped up for a salad, or in finger-food size for dipping. The kids love carrot sticks with ranch and celery sticks with peanut butter.

And the final category....

4) Vegetables that I am not sure I will ever be able to eat: mushrooms and cooking greens. Mushrooms are fungus. How does that count as food? Cooking greens....mustard greens, collard greens, spinach.....look like lawn clippings. All the recipes I can find talk about boiling them (ick!) until they are soft (double ick!). Spinach can be included in the salad vegetable category, and I am fine with that. But, as soon as it....or any vegetable...is cooked to mush, I can't handle it. I don't even like carrots cooked to soft with a roast.

So, I am sticking to the raw, roasted, or sauteed vegetables for now. So far, the kids enjoy them. The Referee is thrilled because he can eat eat most everyting without any allergic response. Dinners are quite colorful now. Lettuce really can replace a bun, taco shell, or tortilla. Plus, I have unexpectedly dropped 4 pounds these past 2 weeks.

I just lost weight without even trying......bring on the veggies!

Parenting Styles

There are a ton of parenting styles that are labeled, categorized, and published in books. I do not fit a single one very well. Actually, I find it a bit absurd for any parent to line themselves up with a single author or method, as there is no way they are raising the same family to have the exact same needs to require the same methods. There are certainly general parenting goals that we all want to achieve.....but the way we get there depends a lot on the personalities of the children and their parents, and the priorities of the family as a unit.

The Referee and I have goals for our family that do not necessarily match those of our friends. There are some areas of life that we prioritize over others. We have had different experiences that shape who we are and what we value. Even looking at just our family, we have different methods of guiding each of our children. We did not receive cookie-cutter children. Some of them look alike, but they do not act alike. Each of our children has a unique personality, strengths and weaknesses, and a style all their own. We take their individual differences into account as we attempt to manage their behavior and shape their character.

Jersey #1 is a sensitive, compliant child. She aims to please. She makes parenting seem fairly simple. So if everyone would just parent their children the same way I parent Jersey #1, they would all have children who behave as well as Jersey #1, right?

Nope. I don't even have other children who behave as well as Jersey #1! So, it isn't just the parenting style that counts. Other factors enter the mix.

Jersey #2 is a very strong-willed child. I'm not just talking stubborn....I'm talking strong-willed. She is also very extroverted. She marches to the beat of her own drum, and she is the drummer! She brings the party every where she goes. I would be a fool to parent her the same way I parent Jersey #1, because she would dismiss me in a heartbeat. With Jersey #2, I have to establish with her that my will is much stronger than hers. I am in charge here. I do not want to squash her will....I want it to remain strong. She needs the strength of her will in order to overcome all of her cardiology health obstacles. She has to endure much more than the average child. I want to bend her will into cheerful submission. It may not be fair, but she has to face those medical challenges, like it or not. So, it is in her best interest if I teach her when to comply and when to stand her ground.

I have never had to train Jersey #3 to stay by my side and not run off. That is a non-issue for him. He was a clingy, insecure, introverted child from the beginning. So, I work with him to gain independence at his pace. He needs to learn how to step out of his comfort zone to achieve certain goals. At other times, it is fine to drop certain activities and hang out at home instead. There is no parenting method that will transform Jersey #3 into the likeness of Jersey #2. They are too different. Those differences are a good thing. On the same note, if a parent needs a leash to keep their active child within reach, it would be futile to look at my parenting style with Jersey #3 to learn how to teach a child to stay at your side. I can't take credit for the fact that he checks in with me regularly and seldom leaves my sight for any length of time. That is not a result of my parenting. That is his nature.

Jersey #4 is extremely strong willed....much like Jersey #2....only she is also introverted. It did not take Jersey #4 a full day to establish herself as the princess of the house from birth. She was convinced that the rest of us were her royal subjects, here to cater to her every complaint. It took me her first 15 months of life to convince her that if she is a princess, then I am the Queen! There are moments when Jersey #4 appears to be the sweetest, most compliant child on the face of the earth.....and then there are times when she digs in her heels, refuses to cooperate, and dares me to do something about it. Sometimes the battles are big. Sometimes they are small. Sometimes I anticipate a battle, and it is non existent. She keeps me on my toes.

Jersey #5 is quiet, friendly, and bullheaded. He does not run off....he quietly wanders off as his attention is captured. He is easy going.....until he isn't! When he wants his way, he wants his way, and he does not want to compromise. He is more physical than his siblings. He is also larger than they were at each age, in both height and mass. He is used to things moving out of his way as he barrels through. He is a tank. If something stands in his way and does not budge, he foolishly continues his attempt without changing course. He will throw the biggest fit, and does not redirect easily.

I can glean ideas and concepts from parenting books and parenting styles of others. But I have not found a way to line up all of my children to one specific method.

Instead of starting with a parenting style that sounds appealing, and then trying to force it upon my children.....I find it much easier to get to know my children as the unique individuals they are, and then adjust my methods to be effective with their personalities so that I achieve the results I am seeking.

Grocery Misadventures

I like to plan. I like to organize. I like efficiency.

I am not sure if these are skills or neurotic habits, but either way, I am strong in them.

I used to have such a hard time coping with plans going awry, that my husband once said to me, "Let me introduce you to a new word: tentative." Five children later, I have grown to expect my plans to go awry. I plan for that. Efficiency often goes right out the window too...especially with Jersey #4, because she has no concept of "hurry". She takes her time at her pace, without feeling any sense of pressure from a time constraint. (but that is probably another blog topic altogether) I'm still working on accepting the loss of efficiency. It is a growing process. Thankfully, organizing serves me well with managing a large family. I have not been able to convince them to be organized too, but I am able to put my organizing skills into action daily.

I said all of that to explain my misadventures of grocery shopping yesterday.

I stayed up late the night before to type up my grocery list. This is not a regular activity, but instead one that I decided I was going to organize and put into place to streamline grocery shopping...thus making it a more efficient process. I tend to buy the majority of our groceries in bulk at Sam's Club. I am also working hard to operate on the lowest grocery budget I can accomplish, in order to put more money toward debt. So, I took the time to list out all of the regular staples I purchase, then looked on the store website to list the prices. Then, I browsed the weekly circular from the "normal-sized" local grocery stores to see if any of the items I was planning to buy could be found cheaper elsewhere. I was a little surprised to see that Sam's Club still topped the sales at the other stores on everything on my list. I was pleased that I could then accomplish so much shopping at just 1 store. (The rest of my shopping typically happens at the day-old bread store and at the Farmer's Market and/or farm co-op).

I printed my list. Since I had typed it up in an Excel spreadsheet, I also include the total sum of my expected purchases. I like knowing exactly what to expect at the cash register. It also helps me stay on budget, and not be tempted to add extra items that were not on the list.

As I was serving the kids breakfast, I explained to them my pre-planned schedule for the day. We would eat breakfast, brush teeth, get dressed, complete chores, load up in the van and be at the front door of the store by the time it opened. We had the dining room table cleaned off an wiped down, so we had plenty of space to unload the groceries when we returned home. We would breeze through the store and buy only what was on the list. (I did plan for 2 trips to the restroom while we were there, because I have little kids and also a heart patient on diuretic medication). When we got home, we would unload and put things away quickly, and have just enough time to grab scooters before walking over to the park, for the free lunch program.

Everything went smoothly and according to plan until after we parked in the store parking lot. As I was gathering up the diaper bag and shopping list, I caught sight of Jersey #5 starting to wander away. I asked Jersey #1 to hold his hand. Normally, he is happy to comply with his siblings, but in recent days he has been resisting them greatly. He is certain that he is all grown up too. As soon as she offered her hand, Jersey #5 said "no" and turned to run away from her. On reflex, I leaped for him, closing the van door in the process (so I could get around it faster). I caught his hand, pulled him close, and we waited for Jersey #4 to take her sweet time climbing out of the van, one easy going step after another. When she was out, I closed the passenger doors and started to walk to the store. That is when I realized I did not have my diaper bag on my shoulder.

Oops!

I turned back to the van and all the doors were locked. The diaper bag was locked inside the van. My wallet, cell phone, and KEYS were in the diaper bag. Oh No!

I explained the situation to the kids and had a good laugh at their reaction. Jersey #2 suggested we break in through a window. Jersey #3 was very concerned that we would not be able to buy the groceries if we did not have money.

Thinking quick on my feet, I explained that we would enter the store and borrow a phone to call The Referee. He could run over to the store from work and open the van with his key. I had no idea if he was going to be available or not, because he has a lot of work lately, and a lot of meetings to go with it. I left him a message on his voice mail and hoped he would get it soon.

In the meantime, the kids and I went through the store and filled our cart with all of the grocery items. The Referee still did not arrive, so we browsed furniture, outdoor toys, and movies. The Referee still did not arrive. I was beginning to fear he was in meetings and we would not be rescued very soon.

40 minutes before the park lunch program was suppose to start, I explained to the kids that if we could unload our groceries quickly, we could walk over to the park and have lunch there while we waited for Daddy. The kids love going to the park lunch program, so they were eager to help me put everything back. We raced through the store and completed the reverse of shopping. We put the final item back, parked the empty cart, and started toward the door....

....just as The Referee walked in, armed with the diaper bag. He had gotten my message afterall, and came to our rescue! Hooray!

I put my keys in my pocket.

I took the kids home, let them get their scooters, then we went to the park for lunch. While they were eating, I explained to them that we had to return to the store again, and actually buy the groceries. We cut play time a little shorter and headed home to get ready to load up in the van again.

Only, Jersey #5 was not on board with that plan. He started to whine, so I picked him up and held him while I waited on everyone else to use the restroom. He promptly put his head down on my shoulder and fell asleep.

Change of plans again.....we let Jersey #5 nap first. That should only be about an hour or two, and we would still have time to complete the shopping and make dinner on time.

3.25 hours later!!!!

My children nap best when I have somewhere to go.

Thankfully, after that great slumber, Jersey #5 woke up in a fabulous mood. The other children were quite cheery too, since they had enjoyed an afternoon of play and relaxation. So, I rushed them all into loading up in the van and headed back out to Sam's Club. As we got out of the van, Jersey #1 asked me if I had my keys, and I assured her that I was placing them in my pocket this time. I also personally assisted Jersey #5 out of the van, and kept a constant hold of his hand. (Clearly it is time he learns my parking lot behavior expectations....especially now that he wants to walk instead of riding in the cart....because such privelages also come with responsibility).

We were very efficient at finding all of the groceries on the list the 2nd time around.

Fun Photos

Sometimes when I look at photos of my kids and their antics, I am at a loss for words. Sometimes I can only laugh. Where do they come up with this stuff?

I am not sure what prompted Larry & Bob....



...To become Snow White and Cinderella....

Apparently, we have a rock band here at the house....

Jersey #1 thinks it is time that we get her a real guitar, because the rubber band connecting the frisbee to the train track is going out of tune. Before this back-yard concert took place, I had no idea she even had an interest in playing the guitar.

Discipline

Parenting requires a lot of work. First, there is tending to the basic needs of a very helpless newborn. All too soon, the workload grows into managing the child's behavior. There are tons of opinions on the best way to train (or not train) a child. When children are small, certain behaviors can be achieved simply by managing the child's environment. But, as our children grow, I am seeing that capturing their hearts is a much bigger challenge.

I thought parenting would get easier when my babies were sleeping through the night, and my sleep deprivation was over. Then, I thought parenting would get easier after we were past the age of the tantruming toddler. Then, I thought parenting would get easier when my children learned to obey my authority. Life does get easier when we accomplish each of those milestones. But, little did I know, my response in those earlier stages of parenting was setting me up for the giant task ahead: character training.

I have my own style for the earlier parenting tasks worked out, but character training scares me. It is so important.

It won't matter if a child learned to sleep through the night from sleep training versus co-sleeping (and all the methods in-between), if they end up sleeping their nights away in a prison cell. It won't matter if a toddler's tantrum is ignored by the parent, or halted by the parent (and all the methods in-between), if the child never learns self control. It won't matter if a child is redirected, spanked, given a time-out, praised or punished (or any of the other child raising techniques), if they never learn right from wrong. It won't matter how much love I give my children, if I fail to teach them about faith in God and their need for salvation.

I prefer to spoil my babies and train my toddlers. That is my personal style. I spoil, love, and nurture my babies to build their trust that I love them unconditionally, and I will care for every one of their physical and emotional needs. I do not worry about their schedule, what age they sleep through the night, or how long they play independently. I do not question if their cries are real or manipulative. I simply focus on making it absolutely certain to them that I, their mother, love them and will see to every one of their basic needs.

I realize that it would be mean of me to continue to parent that way beyond the first year of life. As my babies grow into mobile toddlers, they have the entire world before them. We have a sinful nature, and we naturally seek selfish gain. I find the toddler stage to be where I can clearly see their rebellion communicated. This is the age where I find it easiest to begin teaching right versus wrong, boundaries and limits, and my authority as the parent. For me personally, I am more confident in standing firm when safety is at stake. It is easy to excuse a toddler's tantrum as being a side-effect of being tired, hungry or ill. It may seem acceptable to excuse it away at the park. But, when it comes to being strapped into a car seat, or taking necessary medication, that is where I have full confidence to halt the tantrum and train my child to comply. Those are the times when I see clearly that no excuse is good enough to let a child ride unbuckled in a vehicle, or refuse to take life-saving heart medication. The child is too young to know what is best for them, and their life is at stake. That is why I am the parent. I am in charge.

The Bible explains that not correcting my children's misbehavior is shameful: The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame (Proverbs 29:15). Children are not going to learn right versus wrong on their own. If a parent does not take the time to teach these things when children are young, the police, judges, and prison system will teach them the limits of society later.

The Bible also encourages me that taking the time and extending the effort to train my children to behave appropriately will pay off: Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul (Proverbs 19:17). This is one verse that seems to ring true for me daily. I receive countless comments from other parents about how they can't stand to be around their children for great lengths of time. To be honest, I would not want to be around their children for great lengths of time either. An ill-behaved child is irritating. A well-behaved child, on the other hand, is delightful.

Through the years, I have been following these biblical principles and finding a discipline style that achieves these goals. I find obedience training during the late toddler/preschool years to be quite successful at teaching my children right from wrong, and also establishing myself as the first authority over them. Obedience is immediate, thorough, and cheerful. I try to impart on my children that when I give them an instruction, they are to listen carefully and obey right away, to the best of their ability, with a happy heart. Obey has almost become a bad word in our society. We are told to focus on raising our children's self esteem instead. What I am learning through experience is that children are much more confident and secure when they clearly know where the boundaries are and who is in charge. A child may act like they want to be in charge, but that is really too large of a burden, and it causes them great stress. When the boundaries are weak or absent, their behavior becomes worse. When the boundaries are clear and maintained, the child can enjoy being a child, grow to their full potential, without the burden of adult responsibilities. More imporantly, my children must learn to obey my authority so that they will learn to obey other authorities in their life (police, laws, employers...), and ultimately learn to obey God.

The challenge in parenting is finding the ideal balance as we nurture and train. Too strict versus too lenient. Either extreme is unhealthy.

A couple months ago, I came across an article on the website of Focus on the Family. The author made the comment that the root of discipline is disciple. This simple concept really struck me. What if I move my parenting emphasis away from which method(s) I use to discipline my children, and instead focus on discipleship of my children? Lucky for me, our church recently began a Bible study about discipleship, to help me grow in this concept.

To disciple my children requires that I teach and mentor my children. I must model the behavior I want to teach them....set the example. "Do as I say, not as I do" will not achieve the results I want. I am looking to Pauls' example "Follow me, as I follow Christ" (Corinthians 11:1 Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.) Discipleship is about the relationship I have with my children. It is easier to follow the advice of someone if we trust that they have our best interests at heart. If my children know that I love them, that I care about them, and that I want what is best for them, then my teachings will have a greater effect on them.

Discipleship is about choice. When my children are grown, or even near-grown, they will choose to follow my wisdom or not. When they are small, we can physically require their cooperation. (If I want them to come with me, and they refuse, I can pick them up and make them come with me). But, there will come a day when I will no longer have physical control over my children. That is why it is so very important to have their hearts....to have their voluntary, cheerful, submission to my authority.

Discipleship is a combination of gifts to my children....they have my love, they have my correction, and they have my mentoring.

Belle of the Ball

Jersey #2 occasionally participates in some publicity work for the American Heart Association. We joke that she is the cutest face of heart disease...

I was contacted by her cardiology nurse a few weeks ago, asking if I would be a guest speaker for the upcoming Heart Ball. This is a fancy fund raising event. Donations go toward programs and research for children, specifically. The local chapter of the AHA needed a parent to share the story of their heart disease survivor child. I am not a fan of public speaking, even though I am a fan of talking about my children. I cautiously agreed. I felt much better about the decision after speaking to the event organizer. It turns out that the original speaker backed out, and so did the replacement speaker, so they were quiet relieved that I would agree to fill the void and help them out. I was relieved to hear that my role was to speak for 4-5 minutes, sharing Jersey #2's story, while a slide show of pictures of her flashed on a screen behind me. My speech was a very small part of the program, which also included speeches by a cardiologist and a neurosurgeon, a silent as well as a live auction, a dinner, and a band. My only other problem is that this was a "black tie" event, and we did not have appropriate attire.

The Referee was so relieved that I did not pressure him to attend the ball with us, that he happily supported us buying new dresses and shoes for the event....and volunteered to stay home with the younger kids. I asked for an additional ticket for Jersey #1, because I just knew that dressing up like a princess and attending a ball would be very fun for her.

The older girls and I enjoyed going out to the mall to shop for dresses. Jersey #2 picked her dress immediately, but agreed to try on a few more dresses to please me. She went with her first choice. Jersey #1 tried on every single dress in her size, in every color available. She had a hard time deciding on which to choose, so Jersey #2 and I had to nudge her toward the one we liked best.

The girls and I also shopped for fancy shoes, nail polish, and lip gloss. I had planned to take them for manicures and pedicures, but Jersey #2 was so nervous about the idea, that we dropped it to eliminate the stress. In the end, we had more fun with me trimming and painting their nails the evening before the event.

Our beautiful teen babysitters came over in the afternoon to fix up the girls' hair. They planned the hair dos in advance, talked about them for a week, and brought fresh flowers to put in their hair. The teens just came from a wedding, so they were dressed up fancy too. It was so delightful to see this big sister/little sister duo fix up the hair of my own big sister/little sister duo.

We had a brief photo session after our princesses were dressed for the ball...

The girls turned heads the moment we walked in to the hotel ballroom. The staff from the American Heart Association greeted us with great cheer. We were introduced to a few key folks at the event. It was entertaining to be in a room filled with successful cardiologist and neurosurgeons, their lovely wives, executive folks from hospitals and insurance companies, as well as board members of the AHA....yet Jersey #2 stole the spotlight and kept it for the entire evening. She was more interested in the menu and the table decorations than she was in their names and credentials.

The girls could hardly wait to sit at the table and check out all of the parts of the place settings. That was a lot of forks! They got to drink water out of wine glasses! I let them start eating their salad a little early, so I could school them a little more about princess etiquette at fancy dinners.

There was a wedding reception taking place in the ballroom adjacent to the room we were in. Their wedding-polka music was so loud that it disrupted some of the early speeches. It made a great ice breaker, through. Shortly after I was introduced to the stage, the wedding music ended, and I had everyone's full attention. I was quite surprised by how much Jersey #2's story and pictures captivated the audience. This group of folks experiences such things from a business or career standpoint, so Jersey #2 instantly brought a personal component to their work. At the end of my speech, Jersey #2 joined me on stage. She smiled and waved, and literally stole the hearts of the crowd.

I enjoyed the fancy dinner, but the girls were not impressed. The waiter asked if they might like a fruit cup instead of the salmon. They ate their salad, devoured the fruit cup, and cheered at the sight of the dessert, which was some sort of cake/cheesecake combination with berries in it. They had a second helping from the bread basket too.

At the end of the program, Jersey #2 was called back on stage to receive flowers. It was a surprise to her, and she was thrilled...

Folks started approaching our table just to meet Jersey #2 and her big sister. The girls received numerous compliments on their beauty, their dresses, their smiles, and Jersey #2's amazing recovery. Her chest wound was slightly visible under her dress, so many folks told us if they shared a scar like that too.

While the band was setting up, Jersey #2 decided to start dancing on her own. She was too nervous to go out on the dance floor in front of the stage, so she twirled around on the floor near our table. The Emcee of the event soon joined her. He is also a heart disease survivor, a member of the AHA Board, and often does publicity work for them. He shared Jersey #2's zest for life...

When the music started, The Emcee and Jersey #2 tore up the dance floor! That was an incredible amount of energy from two heart disease survivors. Jersey #1 was more shy and nervous, so I had to practically drag her to the dance floor to get her to take that leap. She quickly warmed up, dancing with me first.....then joined her sister, the Emcee, and another man who had been sitting at our table. The girls danced and twirled for every song, while I chatted, back at the table, with the 2nd man's wife. It turns out that he is also on the Board for the AHA, and is an executive with an insurance company. His wife says that even though they attend many events like this, he is not usually much of a dancer. I am guessing that is part of why he wanted to dance with Jersey #1....he could relate to her desire to have fun, but her fear of getting out there on the floor.

After they wore out the gentlemen, my princesses continued to dance with each other...

We had a blast. We did not get home until 10pm. Jersey #2 was quick to tell everyone that she was getting to stay out WAY past her bedtime. The event organizer asked if she could call us for other fund raising events. It will be interesting to see what publicity adventures are in our future.

Friends

We enjoyed even more birthday excitement this weekend. Jersey #3 was invited to the pirate-themed birthday party of his friend from Awana Cubbies...

I will admit that I was thrilled to drive clear across town to take him to this birthday party this afternoon. It was a HUGE milestone! I had to work hard to contain my excitement, so that I would not embarrass him and damage his social progress.

The birthday boy is Jersey #3's very first friend...

Jersey #3 became friends with this child entirely on his own. They were in the same Awana class for 2 years in a row. Toward the end of the first year, they started to talk to each other and run around and play together. Half way into the second year, Jersey #3 was talking about his friend constantly...looking forward to seeing him at Awana....and asking to have his friend over to play. I have been over-joyed by the fact that my severely introverted, socially awkward son made a friend.

Moms usually spend more time cheering for crawling and walking milestones. With Jersey #3, making a friend is a much larger feat. This child of mine who came out of the womb with stranger anxiety. Who was attached to me like Velcro throughout his infant and toddler years. Who shed streams of tears from the anxiety of being asked to participate in a preschool-level class, sport, or activity. This child of mine has a friend.

Would it be inappropriate of me to start turning cartwheels right about now?

Happy Birthday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO "THE REFEREE"

The older children helped me bake his birthday cake. Nana (The Referee's Mom) sent a box of goodies...cake decorating supplies, Star Wars themed party decorations, and gifts for The Referee.

The Referee took the day off from work. The birthday celebration was a blast.

I don't know if it was meant to be a gag gift or a practical gift, but the ear/nose hair trimmers, from Nana, had us all laughing hysterically....

The Referee has been complaining about how he is becoming an old man whose nose hair and ear hair is growing like crazy. Receiving the trimmers as a birthday present brought him big laughter.

Watching him open the trimmers and use them immediately.....followed by his dancing around the house showing us that his nose and ears were hair-free....brought big laughter from the rest of us.

Time to Let Go

I love this picture...

It reminds me of the joy we felt in the midst of such horrible pain.

This was the day we lost our innocence about life. The day when the worst that could possibly happen, happened.

In this picture, we are smiling at our firstborn daughter. What a gift we were given.

The problem is that she is dead.

Stillborn.

I am holding her lifeless body. We are admiring her beauty and all her tiny features that were a unique blend of the two of us. For that very brief moment in time, we were a family.

And then we had to let go...

Let go of the dreams, and the plans we had for her and for us as a family. Let go of her body to be handed over to the authorities who handle remains of the deceased. Let go of the pieces of our hearts that were ripped out of us the day she died.

Tomorrow is the 10-year anniversary of her birth and death.

I think I am finally ready to Let Go...

I suggested to The Referee that I would like to go through the process of purchasing a grave plot and headstone, and burying Mackenzie's ashes.

I think I am ready to finally put her to rest. To let go of the remains of her body. To let go of the hope that things could have been different. To let go of the anger that things should have been different.

It has taken me a long time to get to this point of acceptance. 10 years. I tried to busy myself with other things (and other children) and deny having to face the full pain of such loss.

From the very start, I never wanted to let her go. I did not want to leave the hospital without a baby in my arms. I even wondered if stillborn babies could be preserved and kept, much like hunters preserve animals. I chose cremation over burial, so that I could keep her ashes. I announced that we did not necessarily feel we had a place to call "Home" where I would feel comfortable having her buried. I wanted to keep her with me.

I sense that God is preparing me for something lately. But, I realize that I must fully heal before I can fully serve in a capacity beyond my own strength.

I must let go of all things of this Earth, and live with an eternal perspective. As my living children continue to grow, I see firsthand that Motherhood is a season of life....and that season will one day be complete. My nest will empty. Eventually, I must let all of my children Go...

I also see clearly that we do have a place to call Home here. We have a church family and a community that we belong to. I am comfortable burying our daughter here in this town. Even if we were to one day move away, I feel at peace with her here, knowing this was the place where our family started, endured, and healed. We have a history here.

I called the graveyard and inquired about the process for burial. From a business standpoint, it all sound pretty straightforward. From an emotional standpoint, it is like jumping off a cliff into the unknown. Can I really jump and not have anything left to hold on to?

Yes.

Because it is not the cremains of her body that bring me joy. It is the footprints she left on my heart...

Growing Boy

Jersey #5 is learning to drink from a regular cup.
He is mighty proud of himself.

Batter Up

Jersey #3 played in his very first baseball game on Saturday.

It was quite a growing experience.

For the past couple years, he has happily worn his older sisters' baseball caps, and dreamed of the day he was old enough to have a baseball uniform of his own. He has a natural love for sports of all kinds, it seems. This summer baseball league is his very first chance to participate in an organized sport. Bad weather canceled the first game of the season. He missed the 2nd game, due to Jersey #2's heart surgery. So, he met his coach and his team on game #3 of the season schedule. (It is a very relaxed league, thankfully).

He was so excited to lay out his uniform and glove the night before. He woke up early Saturday morning and started getting dressed. He was ready!

And then, he started to get nervous.

He announced he was scared, while eating breakfast. He left his glove in the van when we arrived at the ball park. He walked slow across the parking lot, and even slower the closer we got to the field. By the time we reached the dug out, he had changed his mind and said he didn't want to play. I gave him a little pep talk about how much fun he will have and how long he has been waiting for this opportunity. Then, I took his hand and walked him up to meet his coach. He politely shook his coach's hand.

And then he clung to me and started to cry. It was a silent, scared cry, and I felt bad for him. He has come a long way in the past 5 years, but new social situations are still very overwhelming for him. He is an extremely introverted child. He enjoys solitude. He has no need expend the energy to convert strangers into friends. He prefers routine to his day. He enjoys being at home. Social interactions drain him.

Unfortunately, the Wii gaming system in our living room is just not enough of an outlet for his love of sports. So he knows, and I know that he has to learn to adjust to social environments, and other people, in order to play team sports.

I really surprised myself because I was not embarrassed by his behavior. I joke that he is the child who humbled me, because I used to take credit for the behavior of his friendly, very social, well-adjusted older sisters. Clearly my halo has fallen off and shattered! I know my priorities have changed, because I sense that difference in myself. But, I had no idea just how much I had changed until I was standing there, in front of the stands, with a scared, crying, 5-year old boy, who was saying he did not want to play baseball anymore. At that moment in time, I was not concerned with drawing negative attention from the parents in the stands. I was only concerned about helping my son.

I escorted Jersey #3 into the dugout and sat down with him on the bench. It was easy to do, because he was wrapped around my leg and went with me every step of the way. Once we were away from the coach and his teammates, I calmly instructed him to stop the crying and catch his breath. I gave him a moment to compose himself and then he looked up at me.

One thing that I have learned about raising boys is to keep my "lectures" short and concise. I put my hand on his shoulder and I assured him that it was Ok to be scared. I reminded him that he loves baseball and has been waiting a long time for this chance to play. I encouraged him to push through this fear and try his best. I explained that it was Ok if he missed the ball when it was time to bat, or if he had to chase after it in the field. That is all part of learning how to play the game. I assured him that his coach was nice and was going to teach him how to play baseball....just like he was teaching the other kids on his team.

By this point, the rest of the team showed up to the dug out to transition to their turn for batting practice at home plate. The coach introduced Jersey #3 to his team, and they said hi to him. Jersey #3 buried his head in my abdomen. I gave him a hug and repositioned him on the other side of me, next to one of his teammates. I showed him that the other kids were all wearing the same shirt, like him, because they were a team. That peaked his interest. The coach gave the order to line up for batting practice and the team filed out of the dug out. With another dose of encouragement from me, Jersey #3 got up and walked out on the field and stood in line.

I joined Jersey #1 in the stands. Her game was scheduled for the following time slot. The other children were home with The Referee, as we are still keeping a low public profile during this point in Jersey #2's recovery. I filled Jersey #1 in on what was going on with Jersey #3. She understood.

And then we watched the love of sports and the encouragement from the assisting Dads help Jersey #3 overcome his fear of the spotlight.

While he was standing in line for his turn to bat, one of the Dads helping the Coach was demonstrating to Jersey #3 how to swing the bat. Jersey #3 was listening, with tears still falling. He obeyed the instructions and stood at home plate when it was his turn to bat. He hit the ball on the Coach's first pitch. The Coach and his helpers were shocked! They could not contain their surprise, and their comments were very encouraging.

One of the Dads helping out exclaimed, "Boy! Look at that hit. You are a natural."

The Coach said, "Let's see you do that again," and threw a second pitch. That hit was even more impressive. The 3rd hit was a tipped foul. The assisting Dad fielded the ball and gave it to Jersey #3 to throw back to the Coach. Jersey #3 has quite an arm on him....to the point that he has been forbidden from throwing a ball in our house from the time he was about 15 months old. So, his throw yielded even more encouraging comments about his "natural" baseball talent.

By this point, Jersey #3 was smiling from ear to ear. The tears were gone. He was ready to play in his very first official baseball game.

He hit the ball on the Coach's pitch each time he was up to bat. (That is pretty neat, because this age group usually uses a tee to hit the ball). He ran the bases with determination. He listened to all of the coaching advice from the Coach as well as the parent assistants from both teams. He did not appreciate the umpire touching him to physically adjust his batting stance though. He is big on personal space, and would like strangers to keep their distance. He gave everyone a high-five when he completed his first run.

When the first inning was over, he ran to me in the stands and shrieked in delight....

"Mom! Did you see how good I did?"

He didn't care that his announcement was so loud and so excited that the other parents in the stands could not help but chuckle. He paused for a second when he realized he had just drawn a ton of attention to himself. Then, he jumped up and down and exclaimed,

"I LOVE BASEBALL!!!!"

Then he turned and ran back to the dugout, ready for the next inning.

And I continued to jump up and down on the inside, so proud of the way he was able to overcome such a social challenge.

Moving Forward

I am not sure if I should dare to say that I am starting to find a little balance to my life now. I hope to keep moving in this direction, because it is finally feeling a bit more stable.

I am not yet completing my to-do list, but I am actually reaching a point of marking items off the list. That is an improvement over my previous slow-motion week.

I think I am moving forward once again.

Jersey #2 has just completed her 3rd week of recovery following open-heart surgery. Quarantine restrictions have been lifted. She can go out and about in public once again. She is healing great. She gains more energy every day. She gets tired too, and we have to adjust our schedule for that. Since we were already in that mode prior to surgery, this still somehow seems easier. She is still restricted from swimming and contact sports, so it is a gradual re-entry into our former way of life.

Baseball, horseback riding, and vacation bible school (VBS) are filling up the calendar.

I am learning how to prepare more fresh vegetables in our meals, because The Referee is battling a food allergy of unknown source right now. As we try to pinpoint what he is allergic to, we appear to be shifting toward foods in their natural state.

We finally saved up enough money to buy Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University home study course. I have managed to watch all 13 DVD lessons in one week. I just can't believe how much we are learning about money management that we did not know before....and had never considered. It is so much more than just getting out of debt. Wow.

I am currently reading a book, along with participating in a Bible study at church, that are both helping me frame up the ways I need to grow as a mother. I am a work in progress.

The Referee and I actually managed to go out on a date Saturday night. We went to a movie. It was a celebratory date. It was the 18-year anniversary of our very first date, where we also went to a movie. 18 years seems like an incredibly long time to be together. I am not sure if we are more overwhelmed by the number, or by the flood of challenges we have endured during those years. Either way, it was a fun date night. I am glad we are together.

I have conquered the dishes, tackled two-thirds of the laundry, and mopped the dining room floor for the first time in 2 months. It is not enough to keep this home running smoothly, but it is progress.

There is a lot going on, so I hope to gain some momentum soon. Until then, I am going to just keep moving forward....

Maybe Next Week

Life is incredibly busy lately.

I find this amusing, because we are not even hardly scheduled for any activities this summer. Since I did not know what to expect with Jersey #2's recovery, I did not sign the kids up for much at all. Usually, we are hopping from one activity to the next. Right now, we are home a lot.

So why do I feel so busy?

Sometimes I think I am moving around in slow motion. Compared to the "crisis mode" we have been in for a while, there may be some truth to that feeling.

I'm sure part of it is the extra care-giving duties that I have acquired. Jersey #2 is on medications twice a day, and I have to monitor the progress of her wound healing, and I am always keeping a watchful eye for fever or other signs of infection. I had no idea such observation could be so mentally exhausting.

There are 4 other children to care for, which include a very active toddler, but that should just be normal life, right?

Still, I expected a lot more out of myself by about now. So, I am rather surprised by how busy I feel, how tired I am, and how little appears to be getting done around our home. There are always dishes and laundry piled up. I haven't even had time to blog this week. What have I been doing all day?

I am hoping to get my act together and get more accomplished. Soon.

Maybe I will find time to blog more next week.