I love being a bleacher Mom. I enjoy coaching too, but I really enjoy cheering on my kids while they play. During basketball season last winter, I met another Mom whose daughter played on the same team as my older girls. We had a blast chatting and cheering in the stands. There were times we became so excited and cheered so loudly that our daughters would stop in their tracks, on the court, and look at us like we had gone insane. It was fun!
This basketball season is a bit different. I still love to watch my kids play, and cheer them on. I am so impressed by how much they learn from season to season and game to game. The biggest difference this season is that Jersey #2 is struggling with the physical demands of such an aerobic activity. It is a challenge to the current status of her heart. When I am in the stands, cheering her on during her games, I find myself monitoring the color of her paleness. (I did not know pale came in so many shades before now). I worry about her getting hurt. I watch to make sure she is still smiling and having fun. I am constantly questioning if this is too much for her right now?
The struggle I am having with myself is about the decision to let her play basketball this season. I signed the girls up for the program before we learned that Jersey #2 needed heart surgery this year. I did not realize the degree of her declining health even at the time the season began. I do realize that aerobic sports is a challenge for her specific heart condition. I also realize that a 6-year old does not want to have to miss out on playing with her friends. I want to protect her health. I also want to protect her well-being.
I am on such unfamiliar territory, that I really wish there was a motherhood instruction manual I could refer to right now.
Normally, I pride myself on knowing my children better than anyone, and trusting my intuition about their needs and how to manage them. Lately, I just keep praying for some guidance, because I just don't know what to do about this. After the first game, when I realized that Jersey #2 was not able to keep up playing 2 periods in a row, I did talk to her coach. I requested that he only play her every other period, so that she has a rest period in between. She was getting too pale. She was losing her smile. She could not keep up. I assured him that I did not want to be a bother, so he could bench her more than play her if necessary to not disrupt his roster. Thankfully, he was an understanding father who was willing to follow my request to the letter.
I am trying so hard to protect her health without making a big drama out of her health. I don't want her to learn helplessness and become a perpetual victim. I want her to live the life of an active, happy child. Health & well-being. Aren't those two suppose to go together? Why am I struggling to choose one over the other?
The other night, I was finishing up dinner, and getting things ready for basketball practice. Jersey #2 caught me entirely by surprise when she asked if she could just stay home and rest. She explained that her body was tired, and she did not feel up for practice. I immediately answered yes, thankful that she is learning to listen to her body.
I also started to ponder if her health was deteriorating further than I realized.
A friend from church made a comment that really changed my focus. She reminded me that this was not something to cause me worry. This was an answer to prayer. I had been struggling with the physical versus psychological needs of my daughter, wanting to do all that was best for her.
Jersey #2 provided the answer I was seeking. She confirmed that yes, she needed a break from the physical demands of basketball. She removed my concerns about how that would make her feel, by choosing the option herself. It was her idea, not mine, so missing practice was not misconstrued as a punishment.
My basketball prayers were answered. What peace that brings to me!
There are only 5 more games left to this season. I told Jersey #2 that we would take it 1 game at a time, 1 practice at a time, and she can decide if she wants to play each one or not. She looked so surprised, and asked, "Really?" Yes. I reminded her to listen to her body and decide what she wants to do.
And then she smiled.
I love to see her smile.
The pressure is off for both of us. She can play as much or as little as she wants, and it is all Ok. We will make adjustments as we go along. I suppose that is how we learn to balance health and well-being.
This basketball season is a bit different. I still love to watch my kids play, and cheer them on. I am so impressed by how much they learn from season to season and game to game. The biggest difference this season is that Jersey #2 is struggling with the physical demands of such an aerobic activity. It is a challenge to the current status of her heart. When I am in the stands, cheering her on during her games, I find myself monitoring the color of her paleness. (I did not know pale came in so many shades before now). I worry about her getting hurt. I watch to make sure she is still smiling and having fun. I am constantly questioning if this is too much for her right now?
The struggle I am having with myself is about the decision to let her play basketball this season. I signed the girls up for the program before we learned that Jersey #2 needed heart surgery this year. I did not realize the degree of her declining health even at the time the season began. I do realize that aerobic sports is a challenge for her specific heart condition. I also realize that a 6-year old does not want to have to miss out on playing with her friends. I want to protect her health. I also want to protect her well-being.
I am on such unfamiliar territory, that I really wish there was a motherhood instruction manual I could refer to right now.
Normally, I pride myself on knowing my children better than anyone, and trusting my intuition about their needs and how to manage them. Lately, I just keep praying for some guidance, because I just don't know what to do about this. After the first game, when I realized that Jersey #2 was not able to keep up playing 2 periods in a row, I did talk to her coach. I requested that he only play her every other period, so that she has a rest period in between. She was getting too pale. She was losing her smile. She could not keep up. I assured him that I did not want to be a bother, so he could bench her more than play her if necessary to not disrupt his roster. Thankfully, he was an understanding father who was willing to follow my request to the letter.
I am trying so hard to protect her health without making a big drama out of her health. I don't want her to learn helplessness and become a perpetual victim. I want her to live the life of an active, happy child. Health & well-being. Aren't those two suppose to go together? Why am I struggling to choose one over the other?
The other night, I was finishing up dinner, and getting things ready for basketball practice. Jersey #2 caught me entirely by surprise when she asked if she could just stay home and rest. She explained that her body was tired, and she did not feel up for practice. I immediately answered yes, thankful that she is learning to listen to her body.
I also started to ponder if her health was deteriorating further than I realized.
A friend from church made a comment that really changed my focus. She reminded me that this was not something to cause me worry. This was an answer to prayer. I had been struggling with the physical versus psychological needs of my daughter, wanting to do all that was best for her.
Jersey #2 provided the answer I was seeking. She confirmed that yes, she needed a break from the physical demands of basketball. She removed my concerns about how that would make her feel, by choosing the option herself. It was her idea, not mine, so missing practice was not misconstrued as a punishment.
My basketball prayers were answered. What peace that brings to me!
There are only 5 more games left to this season. I told Jersey #2 that we would take it 1 game at a time, 1 practice at a time, and she can decide if she wants to play each one or not. She looked so surprised, and asked, "Really?" Yes. I reminded her to listen to her body and decide what she wants to do.
And then she smiled.
I love to see her smile.
The pressure is off for both of us. She can play as much or as little as she wants, and it is all Ok. We will make adjustments as we go along. I suppose that is how we learn to balance health and well-being.
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