Nursing Assistant

It is official:

I am a trained Nursing Assistant.

I did it!  I completed the intense 7-week training program, which included 2 weeks of clinical experience in a Nursing Home.  Not only did I pass each milestone along the way, but I got an A!  

I am proud of myself.  Looking back, it is hard to believe that I found the strength, the time, and the organization to complete such a task.  I had a lot of help to care for the kids, and we made it through the 7 weeks and lived to tell about it.  The kids are happy to have me home regularly again now.

I learned so much in 7 weeks:  I enjoyed learning how to take vital signs (blood pressure, pulse, respirations  temperature, oxygen saturation), how to care for a bed-ridden or immobile person (bed baths, transfers, feeding, changing, dressing, etc.), and how to communicate with a person who is not healthy.  The medical skills were fun.  I was excited to get my own stethoscope and gait belt.  I felt official in my scrubs.  

I am totally employable now.  I even have a letter of recommendation from my instructor.

To be certified, I need to take and pass the state exam.  I am in the process of applying for that.  It is not yet clear how long it takes to get the "next available" slot for testing.  

Regardless of certification status or pursuit of employment, this Nursing Assistant course was a pre-requisite for Nursing School.  This first step is a great one, in that it opens up many doors of opportunity.

The most important thing I learned from this course is that I belong in Nursing.  That is definitely the career for me.  My instructor and fellow classmates were full of praise and encouragement.  It was such a raise in my self esteem to be consistently told that my personality and natural gifts were ideal for this field.  I started to look at myself differently.  I started to look beyond the current level of crisis and stress in my life.  It was so refreshing to have something positive to focus on for a change.

I was pre-med in college, but did not get into medical school right away.  All throughout my pre-med coursework, I doubted myself.  I knew I enjoyed healthcare--and I really enjoyed volunteering at the hospital---but I did not necessarily enjoy my classes and coursework.  I earned a degree in Biology, and worked in biomedical research.  Even though I received excellent reviews each year, and praise from my boss, my heart was not in the work.  I was not passionate about it, like I am about caregiving.  I am good at science.  It comes natural to my way of thinking.  But, I flourish when I am helping someone and making their life a little better.  Ironically, as I was completing my last semester of college, and applying for jobs, I commented to The Referee, "I should have gone to Nursing School instead."  This Nursing Assistant training course really opened my eyes to the fact that Nursing is definitely the right career path for me.  All thoughts about what my "next career" (after the kids are raised) should be, are clarified now.  I am certain that I am on the right path.  

I also learned that I am content to go slowly toward Nursing School.  I enjoy being home with my kids.  If I had to return to work to provide for my family, I would.....and I would be grateful for the time I previously had at home.  But, since The Referee is providing so well for us, and encouraging me to continue at home with the kids, I am thrilled to get more time at home.  Since Jersey #5 is only 4, I hope to progress slowly through my pre-requisites before I enter Nursing School full time.

The nicest thing about working motherhood is the affirmation.  When I am at home full time, the daily tasks seem never-ending and often unappreciated.  They are important, just not often noticed.  But, in the working world, there is constant feedback on a job well done.  Praise is abundant.  I would go to class and learn a new skills, or receive a good grade on an assignment, and I would feel accomplished.  At home, later, it only took washing one load of dishes, and cooking dinner to make me feel like I was Super Mom!  Plus, if I was in class all day, and the kids were in care with friends all day, then no one was home to mess up the house all day!  The house stayed cleaner.  Every little bit of household chores I accomplished on school days felt like I was going over the top in my level of accomplishment for the day.  I can see why some Moms say they need to have some sort of career for their own well being.  It is such a big difference to receive positive feedback regularly.  Full-time-at-home motherhood does not have the luxury of evaluating our progress so soon.  We repeat the same caregiving tasks for years, not knowing how our children will turn out in the end.  At least with a career on hand, there is a sense of professional accomplishment, while we wait to see the end results of the quality of our mothering.  

Now that I have had such a self-esteem boost, and academic achievement, I am even more flattered when my kids express how much they prefer to have me at home.  I have a new sense of value.

      

A Team of My Own

I finally have my own team!

A 5-person soccer team.

When we start welcoming more children than the socially acceptable 2.1, folks will often comment about how pretty soon we will have enough for a basketball team....baseball team....or whatever sport seems relevant at the time.  I find that fun and amusing.

This Fall, all 5 kids are playing Upward Soccer.

Upward is played differently than most soccer programs.  It is Christian-based, with a strong focus on sportsmanship and Christ-likeness.  Competition is low key, and encouragement is high.  It is an excellent program for younger kids, or for kids who may not be real athletic by nature.  For our family, it is also wonderful because all 5 kids can play at the same time, as practices and games are at the same field.  

Another difference is that the Upward soccer program we participate in is playing games of 5 versus 5 players, and no goalies.  

To have my own basketball team, I would need 6 kids.  To have my own baseball team, I would need 9 kids.  Typically, to have my own soccer team, I would need 11 kids.  But, with this season's Upward Soccer, I can have my own team with just 5 soccer players!

How fun is that!

Technically, my children do not all play on the same team.  They are different ages, and they are placed on teams based on age category.  All have identical jerseys, though, because Upward uses reversible jersey's to distinguish between home team and visiting team.  So, really, I am just pretending they are my team.

My real team this season is a team of Kindergartners and 1st graders.  I signed up to coach.  Yes, I finally put the "Coach" back in "Coach Mom."  It has been a while.  I coached soccer when Jersey #1 was in kindergarten.  I am coaching again, 5 years later, when Jersey #4 is in kindergarten.  My how time flies...

Jersey #4 and Jersey #5 are both on my team.  I asked for permission to register Jersey #5 for soccer, even though he is not of kindergarten age, because I knew he would feel left out with all of his siblings playing soccer.  Plus, with his size, I knew he would not stand out oddly.  He enjoys the game of soccer, but definitely tuckers out faster than the other kids on his team, including his sister.

I am completely enjoying soccer season this Fall.

The weather is great for it right now.  (Although we can expect it to become much colder as the season progresses).

I enjoy washing an entire load of uniforms.  5 jerseys, 5 shorts, 10 socks, 1 coach shirt.

I have a whole bin in the hallway, dedicated to soccer gear.

We come home from practice/games and air out the cleats and shin guards on the front porch.  Decorating in soccer gear?  Why, yes we do!

I enjoyed playing soccer when I was a kid.

It is fun for me to see my own children enjoying soccer too.

Plus, I get to coach, and enjoy it with them.

I Laughed

On Friday afternoon, I laughed.

It was a great feeling.  A big, hearty laugh.  To feel that much humor and amusement.  To enjoy the topic of conversation, and the company, and the moment.  It was awesome!

I have been thinking about that laugh ever since.

Something changed inside of me when I laughed.

For a moment, I allowed myself to enjoy life again.  I put my guard down.  

It has been a while since I have felt that way.  Certainly, the first time this year.  Possibly the first time in a few years.

The impact that moment of spontaneous laughter has had on me has been huge.  On some academic level, I am sure it signifies an element of acceptance in the grieving process.  To be able to accept life the way it is, and to continue forward is a nice point to achieve.  To enjoy life again.  To have joy again.  It has been a while, and it feels good to feel that good again.

Personally, I love to laugh.  So, to finally achieve that ability again, was incredible.  I feel like I have conquered something.  Conquered sadness?  Conquered grief?  Conquered disappointment?  I have no idea.  But, all of a sudden, I feel like a warrior.  New doors and new emotions have been re-opened to me.  I do not fully know how to describe it, but I absolutely love it!

That element of laughter returning to my life has drastically improved my attitude.  

In an instant, I am Ok with the way things are going in my life right now.  Of course, it is not ideal.  But, it is still good.  I can live, and grow, and be.  I am no longer just trying to survive crisis.  

I can count my blessings again.  They are abundant.

My children were so surprised by my laughter.  They just stared at me with puzzled expressions.  A couple children asked me if I was Ok.  Jersey #1 even asked The Referee if I was Ok.  We both had to assure her that I was just fine, and that I was just laughing.  I laughed myself to tears, and that really freaked the kids out.  They are used to seeing me cry.  They were not sure what to do when I was crying and laughing simultaneously.  

Tears of joy.

It has been a long time since I have had those.

What a difference laughter makes.

Tunnel Vision

It probably would have made more sense if I had written all throughout my journey this summer.  There is so much growth happening in my life.  I don't always have the opportunity to sit down and put it all to words.

This summer was one of the busiest seasons I have ever faced.  That says a lot coming from me, because I know how to fill a calendar to the max.  I started out the summer with the plan of having a relaxing time, and a few activities.  The way it actually went was to go, go, go!  Looking back, I see that being THAT busy had a protective quality.  I was too busy to wallow in self pity.  I was too busy to think about all that I have lost this year.  I was too busy to spend much time in the depths of despair.  My maxed out calendar had me putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward without taking much time to stop and think.

All along the way, there were lessons and instructions to ponder.  Only, I did not have much time to ponder.  So, the lessons stacked up, one on top of the other.  I would hear a sermon, or Bible lesson, and think "ooh, that is good stuff!  I need to meditate on that some more."  But, there was not much time for delving into it, before our next activity.  The next thing brought about another lesson, usually something that added to the previous lesson.  I am totally impressed by the way God wove these life lessons together, piece by piece, throughout my incredibly busy summer.

My attitude was not very good through it all.  I would hear sermon after sermon about suffering, and causes of suffering, and such.  But, I would always moan and sigh about how trials stink!  Let's face it, when I am in the depths of pain and anguish, I relate better to Job's wife than to Job.  I am quick to cry out, "Why me, Lord!?!"  "This is NOT FAIR!"

Of course, my attitude was addressed during our Sunday School lesson on the book of Hebrews.  I understood the references about God correcting us like a parent corrects a child.  That makes sense.  I correct my children in love too.  But, that type of chastening goes hand-in-hand with our sins.  Knowing that God loves me enough to correct me has not been very comforting right now.  During that class, a list was generated, explaining the different reasons that we endure trials.  Although some folks prefer to focus entirely on the category of chastening being due to sin, there are actually other categories that are relevant.  One category is taking a stand for Christ.  Tough times come to those who boldly stand in their faith.  The category that jumped out at me the most during this lesson was the category that trials come to us for a lofty purpose of God.  Whoah!  That really built on the church camp lessons that it may not all work out for MY benefit, but it will work out for God's plan.  

Sure enough, the scripture passage above all the chastening like children stuff, is at the very beginning of Hebrews chapter 12.  The end of verse 1 and beginning of 2 encourages:

"....let us run with patience the race that is set before us, 

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith;"    

Verse 3 warns to consider all that Jesus went through, himself, to keep us from being weary and weak-minded.

The whole attitude adjustment came to me as we read verse 11:   

"Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, 

but grievous; 

nevertheless afterward it yieldeth 

the peaceable fruit of righteousness 

unto them which are exercised thereby."

With that verse I was struck by the awesomeness of God.  He gets it!  God understands!  Chastening is grievous, when it happens.  (And in my opinion, grieving sucks!)

I get it!  I understand!  AFTERWARD is when the point is made.  

These trials are miserable when we are in the midst of them.

But, the lessons learned, the ways we are changed, the "fruit" that emerges, is the good stuff.

The way to have a better attitude in trials and challenges, is to look forward.  I've been told to keep an eternal perspective, so that the trials of life here on Earth seem small.

To add strength to my new perspective, the author of the book of Hebrews goes on to comment in the last verse, that the point is to serve God, and remember that God is in control.  

As if that is not enough, Chapter 13, verse 6 adds, 

"The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me."

Step-by-step I see why I needed a better attitude about the trials in my life.  I am reminded that God is in control, and everything will work out for His purpose.  The focus should be to point others to Him.  With God on my side, I can courageously move forward through this mess I call my life, and not be afraid of what is coming my way next.  

The light at the end of this tunnel is not daylight.  It is an oncoming train.

This year's trials are not over.  I see that clearly.

Let's recap:  Rejected by my husband who blamed me for his chronic health problems.  Marriage destroyed.  Family broken.  Husband leaves the home to live alone, and I am an instant single mother.  Baby boy dies half-way through pregnancy.  Grieving SUCKS!  Husband goes numb from recent 3 generations of loss in his life---his grandfather, his father, and his son.  He is the last man standing in that line-up.  His eyes are opened to the fact that he is dealing with a very serious, chronic health issue, that is completely out of his control.  Thankfully, he is able to take responsibility for the way he tried to blame it on me, apologizes, and works to build a respectful relationship with me, which is a great benefit to our family as a whole.  He seeks treatment.  I work on forgiveness.  Just when I think there may be a glimmer of light in this horrifying situation, I am bombarded with the limitations of the illness, and the amount of crisis we are still in.  Financial crisis takes its turn to rise.  I take a hard look at my career options, and what my family needs me to do now.  (I won't even go in to how hard it was for me to let go of my career plans when my family needed me to be home, only to have that completely shifted again 9 years later...).  I think I see what direction I am suppose to go, and that gets tweaked to get me more employable, faster.    Even so, we are on the slippery slope to foreclosure and bankruptcy.  Once again, I am reminded about the limitations of this chronic illness.  The trials are not over...

Right now, I feel as though my life is in a tunnel.  I cannot see all around me.  I must just keep moving one step and a time, forward, and hope that I will eventually see daylight.

Being an optimist and a planner, it is really difficult for me to live in the moment.  I have not been able to make much for plans this whole year so far.  That has not improved.  Every time that something positive occurs, and I start to think we are in the home stretch now, I actually end up sliding a few steps back.  Every time that I think I have an idea of what path we are on, I reach a hurdle and have to divert.  It is not easy for me to relinquish control, but that is what I am being required to do right now.  

Let Go, and Let God.

"....let us run with patience the race that is set before us, 

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith;" ---Hebrews 12:1-2

My faith is being tested and grown.  Conveniently, my Pastor is doing a sermon series on spiritual growth.  Even the visiting missionaries seem to have my spiritual growth in mind.  It is a God thing.  The purpose is to point others to Christ.  

I have been so puzzled by that statement, because I think how in the world will others see the love of Christ in my suffering?  This makes no sense to me.

And then, I had a friend bless me with words that rendered me speechless.

She started out, during our visit, by saying to me that she has had the most awful, heartbreaking, difficult life she has ever known anyone to go through.  She thought surely no one has it worse than her.

....until she met me.

I laughed.  It struck me as funny.

The next day, I happened to see her again briefly.  She could not wait to re-iterate her point to me.  She told me that what she was trying to say is

"You are the only person who has been through worse than me, and you still think Jesus loves you!"

I looked her right in the eye and answered, "I know He does."

She smiled and said, "Exactly!  And, that is what you give me.  I need to know that in the midst of my trials, Jesus still  loves me.  And, you remind me of that."

I was speechless.

If I had an emotional response, I am sure I would have been flattered.  But, I was so much in shock that I was in a stunned silence.  In my heart, I was thanking God.  I get it now.  I see the Kingdom perspective a little more clearly.     

I still don't know where I am going, or how all of this is going to work out in the end.  But, step-by-step, I keep moving forward through the tunnel, waiting for the day when the light at the end of the tunnel is daylight, instead of an oncoming train.

Bible Bee

The older 3 children participated in the local Bible Bee yesterday.

2012 is the 4th year for the Bible Bee.

This was Jersey #1's 3rd year participating.  She was part of the 1st and the 3rd annual Bible Bee as well.   (The 2nd annual Bible Bee was in 2010, the year of Jersey #2's heart surgery, so we cut out most activities that year).

It was Jersey #2's 2nd year participating.

It was Jersey #3's 1st year participating.

Bible Bee 2009:

Bible Bee 2011:

Bible Bee 2012:

All 3 were in the Primary Division this year, which is for ages 7-10.  Technically, they were competing against each other.

Only, we did not do enough preparation and study to actually be competitive.  This summer was extremely busy for us.  It did not take long to get behind on the sword study and the verse memorization.  Before I knew it, we were WAY behind.  I tried to find bits of time to get the kids motivated to study for the Bible Bee, but that did not happen.  At one point, when the local director sent an email announcing the final date to withdraw from the bee, before the paperwork was all printed, I was tempted to quit.  I decided to stick it out, and told myself that we could still do well with some strong effort over these last two weeks.

That did not happen.  Our days were packed.  There was not enough time to focus, let alone cram.  All throughout this final week, I debated as to whether I should have the children participate and carry through with our commitment, or should I have them withdraw?

I wanted them to stick it out and give their best effort.

But, I did not want to push them into a situation where they would be so embarrassed by failure, that they had ill thoughts and feelings about studying the Bible.  

After many days of kicking myself for not letting it go earlier, and allowing us to get over-scheduled (again), I decided to just go with what we had.

I sat the kids down and had a talk.  I explained to them that in light of our extremely busy summer, I should not have insisted we also participate in the Bible Bee.  It was too much.  I admitted that I should have let go of that plan months ago, and taken the pressure off.  They were happy to hear that.

I then explained to them that it was too late to quit now, so we were going to go and participate.  We would go with the amount that was already studied, and let that be good enough.  I expected them to do their very best, with a happy heart.  I would not accept drama or grumpiness over their performance, or over getting competitive.  They agreed.

Next, I discussed a little deeper that ANY amount of study of the Bible is good.  ANY number of verses they memorized was a good thing.  We should not feel bad for the amount that was accomplished.  We should feel good for putting the effort into Bible study, because it is so very important.

But, I also explained that when it comes to competition and achievement, the level of effort, diligence, and preparation, are important.  If you want A's, you have to do A-quality work.  If you do C-quality work, you earn a C.  It is just that simple.

In the end, they were content to participate without the expectation of having to perform well.  We talked about how to handle the stress of not knowing the verses in the oral round, or not knowing the answers on the written test.  I anticipated that Jersey #3 would have some trouble with the actual reading and comprehending the written test, so I explained how to guess and select an answer on a multiple choice test anyway, instead of leaving it blank.  

I also told the children that I would not be signing us up for the Bible Bee next summer.  I was not going to require that of them.  

They all approached Bible Bee day with great enthusiasm.  The pressure was off, and they were going to have fun with the other kids.  They had a blast!

   

They had only memorized 20% of the list of verses, but they learned those so well that they received many points during the oral round.  Jersey #1 told me she was thankful I talked her into learning 1 more verse this week, because that verse was on the test, and she recited it well.

Jersey #3 was proud of himself for completing the written test quickly.  He did not really know many of the answers, but he was pleased to take a guess and fill in a bubble anyway.  

Jersey #2 took the whole thing in stride.

At the closing ceremony, the participants were given an opportunity to stand in front of the crowd and recite a verse.  My children declined that offer.  It was one of our agreements--I would not make them recite in front of the crowd at the end of the program.  They each took turns looking at me to see if I was going to make them recite, but I did not.  

Each participant received a medal, a certificate, and a goody bag.  It is fun to get things to take home at the end of a big day.

The participants who scored in the top 5, on the oral and written exams combined, received additional prizes.

Much to my absolute shock, all 3 of my children placed in the top 5!

They did WAY better than I ever expected of them.

At lunch, when Jersey #1 started calculating that she thought she could have earned 3rd place, I cautioned her to not expect to place this year.  She did not prepare well, and lost many points.

She earned 3rd place!

Jersey #3 earned 4th place.  

Jersey #2 earned 5th place.  She was initially upset that her younger brother scored higher than her.  I reminded her that in Bible Bee, points are lost when you repeat parts of the verse that you already said.  Right now, she is in a huge phase of repeating herself mid-sentence.  That carries over into her verse recitation as well.  It just doesn't have an effect during AWANA, like it does for Bible Bee. After she heard my explanation, she was no longer concerned over how her brother performed better.

As we talked about how each child did on their oral and written exams, I learned that although the children did not study all of the verses on the Bible Bee list, the ones they learned were recited accurately.  Even though they did not complete all of the components to the sword study, they all read the book of the Bible multiple times, and were familiar enough with the subject, to answer questions on the written exam.  (And, lucky for them, some of the other contestants were less prepared, or more nervous, or something).  

My fears that I was setting my children up for failure have been relieved.  I think we all learned some pretty good lessons through this experience.  I am most pleased with how joyfully my children participated in the Bee.

Now, they are talking about wanting to participate again next year...

NINE

Jersey #2 is NINE years old!

I fall apart at age 9.  It really hits me hard.  I had a tough time the year Mackenzie would have been 9 years old.  I was really emotional when Jersey #1 was turning 9 years old.  

Age 9 means that half of childhood is over.

Those 9 years sure fly by fast!

With Jersey #2, I am going back and forth.  I am shocked and emotional because half of her childhood is already over.  Then again, I am joyous that she has survived for half of her childhood!  (Her heart condition used to be fatal by age 5, not that long ago).  

The first 9 years of childhood are the ones where kids are more dependent on Mom.  I am quickly learning that the next 9 years are a steady stream of letting my kids gain their independence....and seeing how much they accepted my influence as they make their own decisions.  From my current standpoint, I would rather be back in the season where I had multiple kids in diapers, toddling, and napping.  The 9th birthday is a huge wake-up call to the fact that I have to let my children grow into pre-teens, teenagers, and young adults.  They are growing up.  No fair!

Sure enough, Jersey #2 has embraced being 9 years old.  She has already started to pay more attention to clothes, and friends, and listening in when adult are talking.  She has even taken to spending some time alone in her room, reading, drawing, or thinking.  There are positives too.  She is becoming more responsible for herself.  She is becoming more helpful.  She is learning to express her disagreeing opinions, without being rebellious or defiant.  She is starting to decide who she is, apart from her parents.  The journey is not over, of course.  It is just changing focus.  It also appears to be accelerating.

To celebrate her 9th birthday, Jersey #2 wanted to go to a nearby amusement park, for the day, with her best friend.  (and, the rest of her family could tag along too).

Thankfully, her friend was available for a day of fun like that.  It actually worked out that her friend was able to spend the night the evening before.  Jersey #2 was very pleased with the way her birthday celebration went.

For a gift, she asked for a Chemistry set.  The Referee and I could barely contain our excitement that one of our children was taking such an early interest in science.  We told her a chemistry set was indeed a possibility for a gift.  She then told us she wanted the Chemistry set so that she could explode stuff!

We found her a nice Chemistry set, and Nana added a lab coat, goggles, and beaker to go with it.  We started referring to Jersey #2 as our mad scientist.     

Granny & PawPaw sent her a check for her birthday.  That is part of their tradition.  At age 8, the grandchildren receive the birthday budget in money for them to spend how they wish.  Jersey #2 knew this money was arriving in the mail, and anticipated how early could Granny be.  When I took her to the bank to cash the check, she asked for the amount in $5 bills.  As we were walking out of the bank, she said she thought the stack of cash would be bigger.  Then she commented that she should have gotten her money in $1 bills instead, so that it would be a bigger wad.

We enjoyed pizza and ice cream birthday cake...

Then, spent the next day having tons of fun at the amusement park...

Rainbow Braces

Phase One of Jersey #2's orthodontic treatment has begun.

We are visiting the Orthodontist 5 times in 5 weeks.  What an adventure!

The first visit was for me to take a very large chunk out of our Health Savings Account, and pay a down payment for the treatment.  I will just pause for a moment and Praise God for that HSA!  We started this account two years ago, when The Referee began a job that offered one.  The first year, we did not fund it to the full extent we actually needed, and came up short.  (I think that lesson has plagued us for years---not really realizing the full extent of healthcare expenses we need to budget, and coming up short).  This year, we thought we were much smarter to plan for our expenses.  Not only did we think we had enough money coming out of The Referee's paychecks, and into the HSA, to cover our healthcare expenses, but we thought we had planned for a little extra.  Wrong!  We did not plan for orthodontics to begin this year.  (We also did not plan for me needing a root canal this year---what a VERY EXPENSIVE dental procedure to try to save a tooth!)

Such is life.

...at least for us.

But, we did have that extra in the HSA, so the down payment was made, and the monthly payment plan was set up.  And, the crown I need, myself, will have to wait until January, when it is a new HSA year of funds (an amount that we will be increasing during the next open enrollment).  I have finally learned to not add credit card debt anymore.  (Yes, Dave Ramsey has changed my life!)  

Money matters aside, Jersey #1 also had impressions made during that first visit, and various other measurements taken.  Spacers were fitted between her back teeth, to make some room between her molars to hold the bands that hold the expander.  She was briefed about how she could no longer eat sticky foods (caramel, Starbursts, etc), or else the spacers would be pulled out.

I was briefed that if her spacers came out before the week was up, she needed to return and get them replaced. 

Sure enough, a spacer came out.  She wiggled it out with her tongue.

On a Saturday night.

I just knew this was going to mess up the whole orthodontic schedule.

I was on the phone with the Orthodontist's office when they opened Monday morning.  Jersey #2 was given an appointment to return on Tuesday morning to have the spacer replaced.  Thankfully, her Wednesday appointment would not be affected, and the full schedule could progress.

Of course, every single one of these visits requires a very large dose of Amoxicillin to protect her heart.  (Antibiotic prophylaxis to prevent Endocarditis).  At least I remembered to talk to the Pharmacist in advance, and learned that the bottle could last in the fridge for 14 days, leaving me with plenty on hand for these unplanned dental appointments.    

The Wednesday appointment was a big one.  It was suppose to last 2 hours.  I secured childcare for my youngin's, so I could devote my attention to the appointment with Jersey #2.  This appointment involved more measurements, placing brackets around those molars, taking more impressions for the expander device (with the brackets on the molars), and adding braces on 6 front teeth.  

There was also a big discussion about how teeth cleaning habits had to be modified to accommodate the braces and expander.  Jersey #2 was given a big bag of goodies to get things started right now.  She is to brush her teeth 3 times a day (instead of just 2 times), and for 3 minutes at a time (instead of the previous 2 minutes).  Plus, she is to add a fluoride treatment at night.  The list of banned foods was increased to include hard foods and hard objects (no chewing on pencils), and excessive sugary drinks/foods (no soda or bubble gum).  

The dental assistant informed Jersey #2 that she could pick up to 3 colors of rubber bands for her braces each time she visits.  She knew she was getting 6 braces, so she was planning to pick 6 colors of the rainbow.  Her favorite color is still "rainbow."  So, I asked the assistant if she would be willing to do the rainbow for this first visit only.  I was prepared to throw in the "it's her birthday next week" comment too, but that was not necessary.  The assistant immediately agreed, then leaned in and told Jersey #2 that if she asked nicely, the other assistants would probably be willing to do the rainbow for future visits too.  

The Orthodontist commented that Jersey #2 is a "great patient!"  I found that amusing.  I suggested that she has had a lot of practice being a patient.  He agreed.  I let him know that she was intrigued by his office, and all the new procedures, tools, posters, and gadgets he had all around.  She is a curious child, so she was using any down time to peek around and check things out.  

She has also taken the baton for questions.  Typically, The Referee and I are the ones who ask a slew of questions about every treatment and procedure.  For this Orthodontic treatment plan, Jersey #2 is making the Orthodontist and his assistants explain every single tool and procedure, before they do it.  She is drilling them with questions, and I am just sitting back listening and observing.  She really is a great patient.  She has already learned some skills on advocating for her own health.  She also questions them further if a suggested treatment does not seem necessary to her.  When they went to take an additional impression of her jaw, she made them explain why they needed a 3rd, when she only had 2 jaws.  I don't think they are accustomed to having a child interact with them like that.  I have been totally impressed by the way they take the time to explain everything, with joy.  So far, it seems they are happy to share more details about their job, with their patient who has such an inquisitive mind.  

It turned out that the 2 hour appointment only took 1 hour.  Jersey #2 really is a great patient.  Her cooperation made a big difference in their efficiency.  She left the office smiling from ear to ear with rainbow braces.

 

Swim Team Awards

Jersey #1 missed the last swim meet and the swim team awards this season, due to our travels.  

The last swim meet was a district meet, where swimmers were attempting to qualify for finals.  The top 3 swimmers would advance to the finals meet.  We were very confident that she was not at any risk of making the top 3.  We are certainly proud of her achievement all season, but she was just not that fast.  Yet.  I chatted with her about it, and she agreed that the Navajo Nation Mission Trip was much more important.

The end-of-season awards potluck was scheduled right at the start of our church camp week.  Once again, we chatted.  Jersey #1 is much better at prioritizing her time and activities than I am.  I try to do all things, ignoring limitations.  She is smarter about picking between two activities that fall on the same date, without any drama or guilt.  I am amazed by this.    She chose church camp, and was not concerned about missing the swim team potluck.

It turned out that we had friends on the swim team, who were also joining us at camp.  They decided to attend the end-of-season swim team potluck, and arrive at camp a day late.  They were kind enough to pick up Jersey #1's awards for her.

It was no surprise that the coaches gave each player some sort of award.  This season, it was a certificate that was titled in a way that described the swimmer.  Jersey #1 received the "I Can Do This" award certificate, due to her willingness and determination to swim more events during the meets, and to learn new skills, such as diving off the starting block and the butterfly stroke.  It was sweet that her coaches recognized her good attitude about such things.

It was a complete surprise to learn that Jersey #1 also earned a trophy for being the "Most Improved" swimmer in her division.

When announcing the award, the Head Coach explained that Jersey #1 was a swimmer who started the first week of practice looking like she was going to drown after 3 strokes.  By mid-season, she was winning heats during meets.  

It was a dramatic improvement, but I did not realize it at the time.  That trophy, and the Coach's comments, really opened my eyes to how hard Jersey #1 worked and how far she progressed during this one swim season.  It was awesome.

I am proud.

  

Prison Lessons and FUN

We put on our orange, prison attire, and studied stories about Paul, in Ephesians chapter 3, while we were at church camp.  The theme was "I'm a Lifer."  A prisoner of Christ.  This theme came from Youth Frameworks, which seems to have special gift for reaching youth.

I learned so much during the adult lesson time.  The kids were in their own classes, so I was not having to keep track of them.  I could really listen and absorb the teaching that way.  It seemed so personal, of course.  (Most of the sermons and church lessons seem so personal to me these days.)  

Usually, when a person is struggling with why do bad things happen to good people, they are encouraged to look at Job, who was a righteous man who suffered horrible things at no fault of his own. But, that very question came up during our lessons at church camp, and we were studying Acts.  Chapter 16 of Acts, tells the story of Paul and Silas, and their experience of being wrongfully thrown in jail.  The teacher of our class, pointed out that Paul and Silas were doing what they were suppose to be doing.  They were not in the wrong place at the wrong time.  They were exactly where God told them to be, doing exactly what God told them to do.  Yet, they were wrongfully accused, wrongfully beaten, and wrongfully thrown into jail.  

In the end of the story, the jailer...and his household....came to know Jesus as Savior, because Paul of Silas were faithful and obedient to God.  It is a beautiful story.  The camp teacher explained that sometimes things have to happen to get us where we need to be, to do what God wants us to do.  He went on to say,

"It is not about you!"

Considering the circumstances of my life right now, it was shocking to hear those words.

I am so sick of hearing "it takes two to tango" or "there are two sides to every story" or "I will pray that you both have a change of heart."  There is usually this assumption that I have had a role that helped cause our broken family circumstances.  I have searched my life over, and I just cannot see a way that I could have done anything to change this outcome.  I am not suggesting I am perfect.  I just did not provoke the circumstance.  It is frustrating to be blamed for something that I cannot control.  I was really becoming discouraged...

Until that lesson at church camp.  Paul and Silas were joyful in their suffering, and continued to praise God.  They were not wallowing in self pity, or questioning where did they go wrong.  They were not questioning their faith because so many horrible things were wrongly happening to them.  They were praying and singing praises to God, to the extent that the other prisoners heard them. 

I know exactly what I do when bad things wrongfully happen to me.  I complain.  I feel woe.  I breakdown and cry about the unfairness of it all.  I question my worth.  I question my faith.  I question myself about what do I keep doing wrong to deserve this?  

I would do well to remember:  "It's not about you!"

It is not about me.

The teacher went on to explain, "It is not all going to work out for your personal benefit."

Whoah!  That hit me like a ton of bricks.

I do not know when or where I started to believe that if I was a faithful Christian, that God would bless me on my terms.  Life would work out well.  I would be healthy, wealthy, and have good things come my way.  That has not been my experience at all.  Quite the opposite.  It seems the more I grow in my faith, the more I face trials and crisis.  Looking at it from my own benefit, it is not fair!  But, looking at my experiences with eternity in mind, I am able to see that it is not about me.  It is not personal.

Ironically, those are the exact words my husband told me, repeatedly, when he moved out.

"It is not personal."

It took me 7 months to accept that the current circumstances of my life are not personal.  And, no matter how faithful I am.  No matter how much I pray.  No matter how much I try.  There is no guarantee that things are going to work out for my personal benefit.    

After I absorbed that lesson for a while, I started to question, "What now?"  What does God want from me then?  Where do I go from here?

Of course, the teacher made another comment that resonated with me.  He advised to start with what we know, and let God lead to the next thing.  Start with what I know.  Well, that takes the pressure off...  

That has really helped me get a better perspective in the weeks since church camp.  Of course, our Pastor decided to start a sermon series about growing spiritually.  My how convenient!  (But, that is another post for another day).  

  

There are not too many people who can wear bright orange and look good in it.  But, it sure made it easier to keep track of the kids.

I spent a lot of time keeping track of the kids.  They had a blast going and doing all of the fun activities at church camp.  Jersey #1 and Jersey #3 surprised me by going off the zip line.  That thing is 75 feet in the air!  Yikes!  There is so much fun to be had at church camp: