We put on our orange, prison attire, and studied stories about Paul, in Ephesians chapter 3, while we were at church camp. The theme was "I'm a Lifer." A prisoner of Christ. This theme came from Youth Frameworks, which seems to have special gift for reaching youth.
I learned so much during the adult lesson time. The kids were in their own classes, so I was not having to keep track of them. I could really listen and absorb the teaching that way. It seemed so personal, of course. (Most of the sermons and church lessons seem so personal to me these days.)
Usually, when a person is struggling with why do bad things happen to good people, they are encouraged to look at Job, who was a righteous man who suffered horrible things at no fault of his own. But, that very question came up during our lessons at church camp, and we were studying Acts. Chapter 16 of Acts, tells the story of Paul and Silas, and their experience of being wrongfully thrown in jail. The teacher of our class, pointed out that Paul and Silas were doing what they were suppose to be doing. They were not in the wrong place at the wrong time. They were exactly where God told them to be, doing exactly what God told them to do. Yet, they were wrongfully accused, wrongfully beaten, and wrongfully thrown into jail.
In the end of the story, the jailer...and his household....came to know Jesus as Savior, because Paul of Silas were faithful and obedient to God. It is a beautiful story. The camp teacher explained that sometimes things have to happen to get us where we need to be, to do what God wants us to do. He went on to say,
"It is not about you!"
Considering the circumstances of my life right now, it was shocking to hear those words.
I am so sick of hearing "it takes two to tango" or "there are two sides to every story" or "I will pray that you both have a change of heart." There is usually this assumption that I have had a role that helped cause our broken family circumstances. I have searched my life over, and I just cannot see a way that I could have done anything to change this outcome. I am not suggesting I am perfect. I just did not provoke the circumstance. It is frustrating to be blamed for something that I cannot control. I was really becoming discouraged...
Until that lesson at church camp. Paul and Silas were joyful in their suffering, and continued to praise God. They were not wallowing in self pity, or questioning where did they go wrong. They were not questioning their faith because so many horrible things were wrongly happening to them. They were praying and singing praises to God, to the extent that the other prisoners heard them.
I know exactly what I do when bad things wrongfully happen to me. I complain. I feel woe. I breakdown and cry about the unfairness of it all. I question my worth. I question my faith. I question myself about what do I keep doing wrong to deserve this?
I would do well to remember: "It's not about you!"
It is not about me.
The teacher went on to explain, "It is not all going to work out for your personal benefit."
Whoah! That hit me like a ton of bricks.
I do not know when or where I started to believe that if I was a faithful Christian, that God would bless me on my terms. Life would work out well. I would be healthy, wealthy, and have good things come my way. That has not been my experience at all. Quite the opposite. It seems the more I grow in my faith, the more I face trials and crisis. Looking at it from my own benefit, it is not fair! But, looking at my experiences with eternity in mind, I am able to see that it is not about me. It is not personal.
Ironically, those are the exact words my husband told me, repeatedly, when he moved out.
"It is not personal."
It took me 7 months to accept that the current circumstances of my life are not personal. And, no matter how faithful I am. No matter how much I pray. No matter how much I try. There is no guarantee that things are going to work out for my personal benefit.
After I absorbed that lesson for a while, I started to question, "What now?" What does God want from me then? Where do I go from here?
Of course, the teacher made another comment that resonated with me. He advised to start with what we know, and let God lead to the next thing. Start with what I know. Well, that takes the pressure off...
That has really helped me get a better perspective in the weeks since church camp. Of course, our Pastor decided to start a sermon series about growing spiritually. My how convenient! (But, that is another post for another day).
There are not too many people who can wear bright orange and look good in it. But, it sure made it easier to keep track of the kids.
I spent a lot of time keeping track of the kids. They had a blast going and doing all of the fun activities at church camp. Jersey #1 and Jersey #3 surprised me by going off the zip line. That thing is 75 feet in the air! Yikes! There is so much fun to be had at church camp:
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