Jury Duty Begins...

The courthouse gave me a wonderful Christmas present and moved me from the regular jury panel to the alternate list. That was a HUGE relief. As an alternate, I have to check the list every Friday, either by phone or internet, and see if my number is scheduled for the following week. Sure enough, my number was listed for today, the very first day of this jury duty commitment. We had the weekend to process this information.

Of course, today is the first day back into our life. We've been on a lazier schedule the past couple weeks, with my husband's holiday leave creating extra-long weekends. He ended up having to call into work and say that he would either be late, or absent today, due to my jury duty requirement. That is not a very smooth transition back into our "normal" routine.

It was completely out of the ordinary for me to have to wake up an hour earlier than usual, get showered, dressed, and leave the house before most of the family was even awake. Since it was cold, I also had to warm the car and scrape the ice off the windows. I can't even remember how long it has been since I've done that. I have not participated in the morning commute in our town for at least 6 years. I did not miss it.

I got started on the wrong foot when I turned into the employee parking structure, instead of the public parking structure. The entrances are less than a block apart, and I missed the sign. I realized my error after it was too late and I was already stuck in the lane where there was no where to go but forward....and I couldn't go forward without an employee badge. That was embarrassing. I pushed the panic button (some call button that had no audio response), and a security guard arrived to let me through the barrier so I could turn my car around and go over to the correct parking structure. He was cordial, thankfully.

I managed to park and find my way toward the courthouse. Going through security was a completely different experience first thing this morning, than it was the afternoon of jury orientation. The line was empty. The security guards were friendly, and even smiling. The courthouse is a completely different place early in the morning, before business gets rolling. The staff were smiling and welcoming. All throughout the building, men were gentlemen who opened doors or held doors for me everywhere I walked.

I was led to the juror waiting room. The regular panel sat in one room, the alternates waited in another. We all sat around and waited for each juror to show up. 12 jurors are required. If the regular panel has any of their 12 missing, then the alternates have to fill those slots for the day. We were handed a list of targets and witnesses and advised to make sure we did not know anyone on the schedule that day. Of the 8 alternates on the list today, 7 of us showed up. Of the 12 panel members, 10 showed up. We were informed that 2 alternates would be required for the day. The alternates were a friendly bunch. We shared small talk about how being called in the very first day was a bit more challenging than anticipated. Most expressed a desire to be dismissed.

One guy volunteered to stay. That left 1 remaining slot to fill. The juror coordinator decided to pick a number and have the person closest to her picked number be the other person to remain. She wrote her number on a piece of paper, and turned to us to guess. The game came to a quick halt with the first lady, because she guessed the number exactly. No need for the rest of us to pick a number also. I was internally amused because the lady picked the number that I was originally going to say....3. The two alternates were moved over to the room with the jury panel. The rest of us got our parking cards stamped, and we were dismissed.

I spent more time driving to the courthouse than I spent in the courthouse. I was pleased that I got to return home today. That was a big relief. That adventure completes my jury obligation for this entire week. The list for next week comes available Friday evening.

1 week down, 12 to go...

Homeschooling Curriculum

The kids & I have enjoyed a nice 2-week break from homeschooling. I have been spending a little time this afternoon, getting their lessons organized to begin again next week. I went online and browsed for some homeschooling organization ideas. I was quickly distracted by a couple reviews of the A Beka curriculum that we use. The nice thing about this distraction is that it clarified a little problem that I have been mulling over lately.

I have a nice circle of homeschooling friends. We share a variety of reasons for choosing to homeschool, along with a variety of methods to achieve our homeschooling goals. Our different styles are as unique as our families themselves. (Which is a really nice feature of homeschooling--we tailor it to fit our family). I usually enjoy chatting with other homeschooling Moms about their experiences and how they are educating their kids. Oddly enough, this school year, my curriculum choice has been brought under question a few times.

Some folks are a bit surprised that our family has been homeschooling for 2.5 years with the same curriculum. There are so many curriculum options available these days, that it is easy to become overwhelmed by all of the choices, and it is easy to switch to something else. The fact that we have not switched curriculum yet, seems bizarre to some of my friends, especially the ones who switch programs every semester. I have been described as being "faithful" to one curriculum. I have been asked how long do I really think I can keep using this same curriculum? I have been drilled with a series of "have you heard about such-n-such curriculum? (as if I just have no clue that there are other options out there!) I am most entertained by the folks who insist on telling me the criticisms of the curriculum we are using, or the places where they have heard this curriculum can be weak.

Since my husband and I do not give random people a vote in how we raise and educate our children, I tend to let the comments fall away on their own. I do not believe that there is a single best curriculum for every school, homeschool, family, or child. I just know that we found the best one for our family, specifically for these elementary grades. I am very pleased with our choice. The comments from others sent me pondering just why am I so pleased with our curriculum choice?

I have always just explained to all of the questioners that I started stressing about schooling options when Jersey #1 was only 18 months old. We confirmed our decision to homeschool when she was only 3. I took over a year to research all of the schooling styles and curriculum options. I even attended a homeschool convention the year before she officially started kindergarten, browsing all of the curriculum vendor tables, without purchasing a single thing. I took notes, made charts, weighed out the pros and cons, strengths and weaknesses of many options. I am a scientist by nature, so I enjoy collecting data and analyzing it. My husband and I had lengthy conversations about our educational goals for our children. Over time, I narrowed down the choices, until I found what works for us.

Reading those curriculum reviews today, reminded me of some the things that drew me to this curriculum. Some of the descriptions fit us perfectly--really organized, highly structured, Christian grounded, accelerated, advanced. I personally love how well-organized it is. The fact that it is workbook based is great for aiding the kids in becoming independent learners, and helps me school separate grades at the same time. The workbook pages are colorful and engaging. The material is introduced step-by-step. This curriculum fits our educational priorities because it gives a strong foundation in the core subjects of reading, writing, and arithmetic, in these early grades. In addition, it is very Biblically based (which is very important to me), and every subject points toward the Christian worldview. I have no concerns about meeting the education standards for each grade, because this curriculum tends to run a full year ahead of the public school curriculum.

Plus, did I mention it was organized? I have a passion and a gift for organization. It is absolutely essential for me to have a well organized curriculum, in order to school each of our children to their full learning potential....at the same time! We know our children are intelligent. We expect them to excel academically. We want to prepare them for success in college (and in life). That requires a strong foundation in the core subjects, structured study skills, and organization. Including verses, as well as references to stories from the Bible, helps impress upon our children that God's Word is relevant in EVERY aspect of their lives (even handwriting)!

I am well aware that there are many, many wonderful homeschooling curriculum resources available. I am at peace that I have found what works best for our family.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!

Am I ready for this?

It is almost time to put up a new calendar and ring in a new year. Friends & family have been sharing some of their reflections on the past year (and the past decade), and sharing their resolutions and goals for the year to come. I am usually right there with them. I love to flip a calendar to a new month. I love a fresh start. So, a new year is usually totally exciting for me.

This time, I am not caught up in the excitement of the new year. This time, I am stabilizing my footing, and bracing myself for the challenges that are getting ready to come my way. I don't have much of a clue as to what to expect. I am not even sure if I am equipped to handle it. It is completely out of my character to be this calm. Normally, I am a very sensitive, emotionally-driven person. I feel joys, I feel pains, I feel stress, I feel happiness, I feel life to the fullest. I don't usually fight the emotions, choosing instead, to ride the waves.

I still have those goals in mind and plans in place to become more physically and financially fit. I still have those areas of my life that I want to improve upon. The difference this time around is that those things are just not the dreams they once were. Those are matters of discipline.

I am facing a great challenge in the new year. My 6-year old daughter requiring open-heart surgery, shifts my focus away from resolutions, and onto readiness. I am no longer in dream mode. I am in discipline mode. This is new territory for me.

I have always said that it was a great blessing to me to have no clue about her heart defect during the pregnancy, or even at delivery. She was diagnosed the day after turning 2 months old, and her first open-heart surgery took place 3 weeks later. It is rather unusual that circumstances would happen so quickly, but it worked for me. I was in a shock-induced fog, and I liked it that way. I went through the motions, but didn't have much time to ponder and think.

This time around, the circumstances are VERY different. This time, I was given at least 6 months advanced notice of surgery. This time, I have a lot of time to ponder and think. This time, I do not have the luxury to hide out in a fog. This time, I have a 6-year old looking to me for guidance, support, comfort, and strength.

This time, I have peace.

I do not know what the outcome will be. I do not have much confidence that the medical prowess of the cardiology field is enough to harness the non-textbook style of my daughter. This time, I rest in the knowledge that I am giving her the best care possible in this world, but the results are up to God.

This New Year, it is not about my plans, it is about His plan.

God is working in my life. I grow through the trials. I bask in His blessings. This year, I know my focus needs to be on watching for where God is working, and joining Him there.

A resolution often dissipates after a month or two. The hand of God will carry me through the entire year, no matter what challenges I face. My job, is to remain in His hand.

Bob Who?

My husband and I struggle with communication. We have a classic "He said/She said" problem. I am convinced that my husband begins conversations in his head, and then shares them out loud when he is part-way through. I am guessing that he names the nouns during the time the conversation begins in his head. It is for sure that I never know who or what he is talking about by the time he starts verbalizing this thoughts. I am usually left asking him to define "that," "the one," and many other non-specified subjects of his conversations. I've grown tired of nagging him about this habit, so I recently started listing out a series of subject possibilities, so he can see just how unclear things are to me. My new method is not helping him learn a thing, but it is certainly making the problem more entertaining for me.

We had one such communication last night that had us rolling in laughter. We were in the mist of a conversation about career goals. My husband explains to me that eventually, he would like to have a career situation like Bob.

Like I know which Bob he is referring to. I know a zillion guys named Bob.

So, I asked him, Bob who?

Then, I immediately start listing Bobs.....Bob the Tomato? Bob the Builder? Bob, our friend from high school? Bob, as in Mr. Incredible? Bob, from the movie What About Bob? Bob Marley?

I would have gone on and on, except that the suggestion of Bob the Tomato made my husband laugh so hard he was gasping for air, and interrupted my stream of Bobs.

He answered me, Yes, he would like a career like Bob the Tomato when he grows up!

That sent me laughing so hard I was crying. I'm having to wipe the tears away right now, just to see the screen while I try to type this. That was funny!

It turns out that he was actually speaking of a man named Bob, who he used to work with a few years ago, who was very accomplished in his career goals. I will admit that it has been so long since I've heard that man's name, that he did not even make the first page of my list of Bobs.

So, I informed my husband that if he was going to be Bob the Tomato, then I want to be Madame Blueberry!

For the Love of Family

This is what happens when your Mom reads your blog, especially the posts about the challenges at the beginning of our financial journey to become debt free....

In hindsight, I probably should have explained to my Mom, in advance, that a blog was a personal journal with public viewing. It is not a cry for help!

All of a sudden, she was ready to send us money and food...whatever we needed. She asked me why I didn't tell my parents we were struggling, and ask for help? After a few phone calls of reassurance, an exchange of emails, and gratitude for all of her generosity, I thought I had convinced my Mom that we are not suffering or starving. She still brought a ton of food and gifts at Christmas time....some planned, and some "just to help." These T-shirts were to remind us to laugh when life got tough.

We are completely re-vamping the way we manage money, so that we can become debt free, build wealth, and be better stewards of the income we are blessed with. I was simply writing about the journey in my blog.

Rest assured, that we are making ends meet. We have food, clothing, shelter, utilities, and transportation...along with a steady income and insurance....the basics are all covered. We pay our bills on time and are current with all creditors. After that, we are tackling the messy financial mistakes. There is a learning curve, or else we would not be in the situation we are in. We had to change the way we thought about spending. We have to learn how to track and operate a working budget. We had to change our behavior patterns. We had to cut back and live below our means.

We have read different financial books and websites, and even attended a seminar. We like Dave Ramsey's style, so we are following his Baby Steps program. He assures his fans that folks will think we are crazy to be so intent on living debt free.

He did not warn me that I would scare my Mama!!!!

The Importance of Date Night

When a couple starts to have 1, 2....or 5 of these.......

The workload and busy-ness can distract us from this....

Kids prefer to be securely positioned in the middle of both parents...

Which immediately repositions the couple further apart from each other.

It is wonderful when a child is blessed with a Mom & Dad who love them very much, and they know it! It is important for people to mature to the point that our focus switches from self to child, when we become parents.

It is also important to remember that the marriage is the center of the family.

My Mom often advises that the best thing I can do for my children is to love their father. Parents face the challenge of staying connected as a couple, when it is so easy to be distracted with the needs and care of the children. Parenting is a big job when we are in the midst of it. But, it really is just a season. The couple starts out life together first. The season of parenting is in the middle. The couple will be alone again when the nest empties in the blink of an eye! It is so important to keep the marriage relationship strong during that season of parenting, so that the children will have a healthy, secure family to grow in. It is also important so that the couple will continue to grow strong together when the season of parenting winds down.

I did not start out with this knowledge, and quickly fell into the trap of focusing solely on our new baby and easily dismissing my husband. (I'm not talking about the early post-partum months that require so much grace to let the body heal, let the family adjust to the newborn, and let the newborn adjust to life outside the womb. I think we can all extend a little more patience with ourselves and each other during that time.) I'm talking about later, when the routine of our family began to flow well. It became real easy for me to focus ALL of my attention on my child while she was awake, and then focus the rest of my energy on me when she was asleep.

Early on, I did not understand the importance of date night.

I am certain that couples can find many, many ways to connect with each other that do not require a babysitter, dinner, and a movie. Date night is the term I use to remind me that we were a couple first, and I need to be careful to not lose focus of that. Date night is the reminder that there should be time that only includes me and my husband. It took me many years (and 3 children) to realize that it is Ok to leave the children with a babysitter and go out with only my husband. The fear that something tragic could happen while I was away is not a good enough reason to ignore a marriage.

Our home is not tragedy-proof just because I am there. Our marriage is not tragedy-proof when I am not there.

After realizing the error of my ways, I slowly started to schedule some dates with my husband. At first, they revolved around really important times, like our anniversary. The more I worked at it, the easier it became to enjoy that time away. (My husband certainly enjoyed it, as he never lost sight of the need to be a couple from the very start). I was also quick to make excuses as to why we couldn't hire a babysitter....because of a high maintenance child, or due to budget concerns.

When I finally came to the knowledge of the importance of making time with my husband a priority for our family and for our budget, we already had 4 children. It is rather difficult to find a sitter for 4 children! It is even more difficult to find a sitter for FIVE! We do not live near extended family, so that is not an option for us. With 1 or 2 children, it would have been rather simple to swap babysitting with another couple, and take turns having date nights. With 4 or 5, that is not such a popular idea!

We have been greatly blessed with some teen girls from our church who have been willing to double up together, and babysit our children. It is even sweeter that our children are so comfortable in their care. When we had 4 kids, we hired 2 babysitters at a time. When we had 5 kids, we hired 3 babysitters at a time. As the kids are growing older (and Jersey #1 is becoming helpful as a "junior babysitter"), we are able to hire 2 babysitters at a time again. Those girls have gifted our family with some free babysitting. In addition, we've added date night as a budget priority.

We have not worked up to a once a week date night by any stretch of the imagination. We are lucky to find the opportunity once every two months. It is a real treat to enjoy date night once a month. I am proud to say that we have been on 3 dates this month already....and planning 1 more!

Tonight, we were blessed with the gift of date night from another mother of 5. Her kids are all grown or near-grown, and she just loves children. She was willing to come over to our home and care for the kids, feed them snacks, play with their toys, rock the little ones to sleep, and cuddle with the bigger ones while watching movies. She has previously volunteered to help us out like this for hospital procedures, and other appointments. She has a servant's heart. She has set a great example for me on how to serve another Mom.

Moms need encouragement that they are doing a good job. Sometimes they need a sitter so they can run an errand or to an appointment. Sometimes they need a nap or a meal....

And, sometimes we need to be reminded that the joys of motherhood are enhanced when we remember to also be a WIFE!

A Very Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!

Christmas brings such sweet thoughts and memories to me. During my childhood, Christmas was a glorious time of year. My Mom worked hard to create family traditions, and I just love the memories I get to hold onto. I love Christmas plays, Christmas church services, Christmas cookies, Christmas cards, pictures, and annual newsletters, Christmas lights, Christmas trees, Christmas dinner, Christmas parties, Christmas gifts, the Christmas story, and did I mention Christmas cookies?! Christmas is a busy, social time of year, where we celebrate the greatest gift ever given (Jesus) and take the opportunity to spread love & joy to all of our friends, family, neighbors, and strangers everywhere. I love it.

This Christmas has been tainted with a shadow of fear that it may be our last Christmas with Jersey #2. I wanted all of the memories to be perfect. In the end, very little progressed according to my plans...but all of my desired traditions progressed...and it was the most wonderful Christmas!

This year, we took the time to decorate the house indoors and out. We let the kids take the lead on the decorations, based on what was most exciting to them. During the cold winter evenings, we stayed warm indoors playing games as a family. We laughed and we spent time together. We bought a few Christmas-themed movies to enjoy together. We baked Christmas cookies, and even managed to deliver a few to some home-bound friends. The kids helped wrap presents for their grandparents. We made Christmas cards for coaches and teachers. We sang Christmas carols at a nursing home. We attended Christmas parties.

We did not do these activities every day. We did them over time, little by little, along with all the regular activities of work, school, and household chores. We still dealt with sibling rivalry, messy bedrooms, illness, grumpiness, and sadness. Needless to say, we were not perfect. In the midst of our real life, we enjoyed the celebration of Christmas.

This Christmas was extra-special. One reason was that we relaxed about the "chores" of Christmas traditions, and let the kids lead us on the path of excitement. Another reason was that we stuck to our budget. An even better reason was that Granny & PawPaw came to visit...

Granny & PawPaw set up a new tradition of visiting the homes of their grown children for Christmas. This year was our turn for them to visit and enjoy Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, along with Christmas dinner, with our family. I am certain that our children were more excited about Granny & PawPaw's visit than they were about the presents under the tree!

In addition, Granny & PawPaw brought with them a whole truckload of gifts. They brought up gifts from them, gifts from Nana (The Referee's Mom), and gifts from our exchange with extended family. Plus, they brought us a cooler full of frozen meat, sharing the side of beef that PawPaw was given by his employer. They brought winter coats, hats, and gloves for all of the kids. They brought new PJs for the kids too. They brought PawPaw's famous apple pie, a box filled with various Christmas cookies, a huge fruit basket, and another pile of miscellanouse junk food and soda. I almost said that all we had to cover were the vegetables for Christmas dinner, but they actually brought up a container of chopped veggies and Great-Granny's famous veggie dip! They filled our coat closet, our fridge, our pantry, under the Christmas tree, and every counter space we could find. Who needs Santa Claus when Granny & PawPaw are comin' to town!

We had such a nice visit. Jersey #2 tried to beat PawPaw at a game of chess, but he showed her that his chess skills were still top notch

We ordered pizza for dinner on Christmas eve, played games, visited, and took some pictures. When Jersey #4 prayed the blessing before our meal, she thanked God for the pizza and for Granny & PawPaw!

Our family enjoys the tradition of opening gifts in the evening on Christmas Eve. We started the fun with PawPaw reading the Christmas story, from the Bible.

The children were so excited about each of their Christmas gifts. They received everything they ever wanted...and more. They were quite surprised that everyone knew just what they liked. Jersey #1 received an American Girl doll as her gift from Granny & PawPaw. She was completely shocked that her uncle gave her the book collection to match her exact doll, as his exchange gift. She asked, just how did he know?! We enjoyed a good laugh about how it was almost as if our family had communicated (via email) some of the gifts we were giving, to complement the other gifts.

I admit that I had a bit of a hard time realizing how much my girls are growing up. Elmo, Dora, and Princesses are being replaced by American Girl dolls, Barbie, and the Jonas Brothers.

At least Jersey #4 still enjoys baby dolls and ducks. We are not sure where her duck obsession came from, but she has loved rubber ducks and stuffed animal ducks her whole life. She also enjoyed feeding her new baby doll a bottle that looks like it empties when it is tipped upside down.

Jersey #3 danced and shook and spasmed with each and every train and train set he opened. At one point, we questioned if it was hazardous to his health to be that excited! This child lives, eats, and breathes Thomas the train. (and I admit that I like that--because I do not have to worry about Thomas the train being dressed properly, or inappropriately sexualized, as is a terrible problem with some of the popular toys for girls).

Jersey #5 had more fun with the box!

After all of the gifts were opened.....followed by a lengthy opening of the packaging, and putting toys together, the kids played themselves to exhaustion.

Since Granny & PawPaw wake up when it is still dark outside, some of the children attempted to keep that schedule. Granny keeps them smiling with cookies for breakfast (can we actually call it breakfast if the sun has not come up yet?)

Jersey #2 could not wait to use her Easy Bake oven. It took a little parental effort to get it up and running this morning. That was a lot of work just to attempt to cook a mini cake with a light bulb!

It was all worth it to watch her take great care to bake her first self-made cake. She ate the whole thing herself too, saying it was very yummy!

We enjoyed a lunchtime Christmas dinner together, before Granny & PawPaw had to get back on the road toward home. The Referee whipped up some delicious terriyaki steaks, with some of the meat Granny & PawPaw brought us, along with sauteed squash & carrots. I filled in the sides...mashed potatoes n gravy, corn, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and rolls. We had such a nice visit. We had such a fun time opening presents with the kids. We enjoyed celebrating Christmas together.

Our family enjoyed the best Christmas this year. It was filled with joy, not strife. The time spent together, having fun with our family, was perfect. I will carry the happy memories with me well into the New Year.

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. (Luke 2:14)

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas from the Home Team!

Christmas cookies

I had many helpers ready to make sugar cookies last night....

They took turns rolling the dough and cutting out shapes...

Waiting for the cookies to bake was the hardest part...

The youngest two decided they could handle the next batch on their own...

Frosting, decorating, and eating the sugar cookies was a great reward for all that hard work...

I set out with the goal to bake cookies to hand out to friends. It didn't take me long to realize I had miscalculated my abilities. I cannot bake, cool, frost, and decorate the cookies fast enough to satiate my own family, let alone anyone else. 1 husband and 5 children engulf a half-dozen cookies with every serving! Plus, my husband eats them plain while waiting for one to be frosted.

This year, I am either going to have to skip the thought of passing out plates of cookies to my friends.....or learn to bake in the middle of the night when everyone else is asleep!

Jury Duty

I'm currently waiting to hear from the juror coordinator, sometime this week, regarding my jury duty selection. I've been told that courthouse time runs very different than real world time, so this wait could get interesting.

I was summoned for jury duty. It is a little amazing that this is a first for me. I am not sure how I've dodged it for so long. At first, I didn't really mind being summoned. I sort of understand that civic duty. It sounded somewhat interesting.....in theory.

As the details unfold, I am no longer intrigued.

The summons gave me a date to report to the court house for orientation. That seemed Ok, as I also had a dentist appointment that day, so my husband was already prepared to take time off work to be home with the kids.

Next, was a questionnaire to fill out, asking a variety of personal details. This startled me a bit. I understand the desire to find a jury of peers, so they would need some information on me. I was a bit troubled by the level of information they were asking. I was downright appalled at the level of information they were asking after listing a note at the top of the page that stated that the information I provided would be available to all parties involved in the court cases. It was absurdly comical that they were actually asking me to provide very detailed directions to my house, along with the number and ages of my children, along with the name, career, and employment schedule of my spouse. Is it me, or were they actually suggesting that I give very specific instructions...to someone accused of breaking the law... on how to find me and my children at a time when my husband would be away at work? Maybe they were wanting me to provide detailed information on how to get to my house at a time when no one would be home???

No thank you.

At the bottom of the page, there was a small footnote that said I could place an asterisk in place of any answer that I would prefer to answer directly to the judge. I exercised that option for every question that I felt was too personal or dangerous to me or my family. I had no problem answering all the questions about whether I worked in the court system, or whether I had been involved in any court cases before.

The summons went on to say that jury duty is never convenient, so please consider serving at this time, instead of trying to be excused. There were two reasons for excuse...1 was medical (if you provided a note from your doctor)....the other was if you were a convicted criminal who did not serve your time (huh? Were they sending these summons out through the wrong courthouse database?)

I followed the orientation instructions to the letter. It told the exact place to park, where they would be able to validate parking. Unfortunately, that parking structure has a height clearance that is too short for my big van. Fortunately, I anticipated this, and borrowed my husband's car that afternoon. I walked from the parking garage to the courthouse with a slew of other jurors and then received the opportunity to stand in the security line with them.

It was rather amusing to me the level of schizophrenia that is involved at the courthouse. (I'm not speaking of mentally ill folks committing crimes.) On one hand, the summons thanks me for assisting the judge in my civic duty. On the other hand, it threatens me with police action if I fail to show up. I am told to arrive at a specific time....along with 300 other summoned citizens.....and the courthouse workers grow quickly annoyed by the congestion in the security line. The security process in itself made me question which side of the criminal line I was actually standing on! When the security guards started barking orders about folks needing to remove their belts before walking through the metal detectors, I was almost tempted to look down and see if I was actually wearing a prison jumpsuit! Were we there as common citizens "helping" out our judicial system.....or were we just potential criminals in the making?

I made my way to the jury orientation room and stood in the line to check in. The efficiency of the place just blossomed from that point. For the 300 citizens summoned to orientation that day, they had a whopping 150 chairs available, and about 80 additional chairs squeezed into a room that probably breaks fire code when all 300 of us were in it. We each stood in line to be greeted by the clerks and coordinators. We were handed a packet of papers and a pen. The purpose of the pen was to write down our juror number on the front of our packet.

After the judge gave a little pep talk as to the importance of the jury, he read the official summons and turned our attention over to the juror coordinators. A lady actually stood at the podium and read a roll call of every one of our 300 names. She then told us our juror number. The numbers were pre-determined before we arrived, and they did not change even if no one answered to the name in front of us, so I am still not clear as to why they did not just hand us a packet with our name and juror number on it from the start, and save all that read aloud time.

I was one of the lucky ones.

Out of 300 summoned citizens, the computer randomly assigned me to be juror number 4. Then, the jury coordinator took the first 36 jurors and placed each of us on 1 of 3 jury panels. I was placed on the first panel. A jury panel gets the privelage of serving 2 days a week, for the full business day, for the full 3 months of our service time. Serving two 8-hour days....16 hours a week for 3 months.....that is a part-time job! Honestly, who has the time and ability to drop their current life and pick up a part-time job at the courthouse?

Actually, they pay minimum wage, so folks who are out of work might consider volunteering for jury duty in order to pick up a part-time job.

The remaining 264 folks were placed on the "alternate" list, to fill in when the regular panel members need to be absent. They have to call every Friday evening, to find out if they need to show up for jury duty the following week.

The panel folks were gathered and taken to a court room for further details. Here, the jury coordinators asked us how this panel schedule would work for us. At least half of the panel folks explain why they can't just pick up a part-time job like this. Many of them suggest that they could manage 1 single day a week. That makes me wonder why they don't just set up more panels overall and schedule them 1 day a week, cutting back on a lot of the scheduling hassle.

A few folks mentioned they work out of town all week long, and return for weekends. That was where we were informed that we have the option to reschedule our jury duty commitment one time. After that, we are expected to serve the next time we are summoned. The current summons schedule ends before Jersey #2's upcoming surgery, and I can't risk being re-summoned during her surgery and recovery timeline, so I chose to stick this out.

As the caregiver of 5 young children, I do not see a way to pick up this part-time job at the courthouse. Even if I could find babysitters to work those two full days a week, paying them would cost more than I would be making. The Referee could alter his work schedule to fit in 1 day at home, but not 2. The committment is so big that it just does not make any sense.

The jury coordinator says she will do all she can to work it out for us. She says there are folks on the alternate list who would like to be on a panel, so she thinks it may all work out. (So, why didn't they just take volunteers for the panels first?) But, she needs time to calculate and will let us all know some time this week. I have no clue what I am going to do if they decide to keep me on a panel.

It will be interesting to see what my Christmas present from the courthouse is this week...

Food & Finances Friday--Year End Review

There are two areas in my life where I am attempting to really "mature," as much and as quickly as I can--Food and Finances. I have been on such a slow path in these two areas, as I have been slow to grow in the past. I decided to turn them into a weekly theme and share the details...hoping to help myself with personal accountability.

Lately, I've been reflecting over the events of this year. It seems as though we have come a long way already, AND there is still quite an uphill road ahead of us. We've made a lot of changes for the better. We've learned a few hard lessons. We are still paying the consequences of many hard lessons.

5 months ago, we shredded all of our credit cards, making the commitment to pay off all of our debts. We were full of excitement from the start, and used that energy to purge the excess junk from our home. We sold off a ton of stuff, and donated the rest. That initial energy surge was dampened by a major increase in our medical expenses....an increase that continues to give additional challenges to our monthly budget.

Upon review, I realize that I am rather pleased with how far we've come, and where we are standing right now. I am hopeful for the path we are on, and look forward to the day when we are living debt free.

The credit cards remain shredded and unused. The debt balances are decreasing each month. The decrease is slower than I would prefer, but still moving in the right direction.

We were hit with medical expenses beyond our capacity in October & November. That brought about awareness to the need to budget a much larger amount for the medical line item in our monthly budget. We now have that category budgeted higher/better.

When we got in over our heads in those medical expenses, we were forced to find a solution. Instead of returning to the credit cards, we weighed out the options of pursuing a loan through our credit union or pursuing a payment plan with the hospital. We chose to take out a signature loan for only the amount needed to cover those expenses, setting up payments to come directly out of each paycheck. That was a speed bump in our debt elimination journey.

We stuck to our budget for Christmas! That was a big accomplishment. I am quite amazed by how it became easier to only buy what was on the list when I was focused on staying within budget. I am already convinced that the presents under the tree will bring joy to the children without bringing buyer's remorse to the parents.

Our house looks so much bigger and open now that we've purged excess junk. It feels like we are living in a new home. We took the time to organize each room, so that everything has its place, and we are only keeping the items we want/use. Training the children to clean up after themselves is the current step of this journey, which is taking some time. I am also working on training myself to be more disciplined in my housekeeping routines. After getting rid of so much stuff, we are much more careful about the things we want to buy and bring home.

In the food category, we have made 2 major achievements this year. Both are beneficial to the finances too. First, we are not eating out regularly. Actually, we could be accused of rarely eating out these days! Fast food, picking up a pizza, or going out to dinner are no longer our first thoughts for meals. We eat at home. We pack snacks for car trips. We use up our groceries before they spoil. And, we save a ton of money that way. We are all healthier, and the adults are dropping weight. These are all very positive results!

Second, I have become the queen of crockpot chicken. We can buy a 2-pack of frozen whole chicken for the price of a single rotisserie chicken cooked in the store. I can put a frozen chicken in the crockpot first thing in the morning, add some water and a few seasonings, and have a pleasant smell in the house all afternoon and a delicious dinner in the evening. Each chicken provides 2 meals for our family right now. I add veggies and potato sides for dinner, or stuff things into a tortilla for chicken burrito variations, or make a casserole/enchilada dish that includes the chicken. (I have learned that everyone got tired of chicken soup quicker than my other chicken meals). I am amazed by what a chicken can do to feed a family!

I wish success would come faster. I see we still have a long way to go. Right now, I am trying to focus on just how much we have improved, and be confident that those improvements are moving us in the right direction.

Pride goeth before a Fall

A certain 2-year old recently taught me a lesson about pride.

For the past few weeks, I have been celebrating her quick potty training success. It has been rather exciting! I have been ready to dance in the streets in celebration of her strong-willed personality finally working in my favor! I've shared my excitement with all of my friends and family. I did not have to battle her on this one. I caught a lucky break.

Or so I thought.

There is an old saying, Pride goes before a fall.

It is an abridged version of Proverbs 16:18, right out of the Bible, which says, Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.

I am no biblical scholar, but I get this warning that pride leads to a fall.

And I fell.

We have 2 bathrooms in our house. The main bathroom is bigger, and holds kid stuff. It is the bathroom with the step stool, with the potty chair, with the kid sized seats that fit right on top of the toilet seat. It is the best place for the kids to use the potty.

Jersey #4 prefers to use the MY bathroom. It is a smaller bathroom right off the master bedroom.

It just so happened that I was using my bathroom at the exact time that Jersey #4 arrived and said she needed to go potty. I explained to her that I was using this facility, and she needed to go to the other bathroom instead. She argued. I re-explained. She closed the door and left.

So I thought.

Upon exiting the bathroom, I discovered Jersey #4 standing right outside the bathroom door, in a puddle. Instead of going to the other bathroom, she decided to just stand there and wet herself. I asked her why she wet her pants. She answered, "because I wanted this bathroom!"

We engaged in a little "lesson" about obeying Mommy, and cleaned up the mess. It appears I've still got my work cut out for me with this child.

So much for her strong will working in my favor.

Back in the Saddle

Our children had the opportunity to go for a little ride on a horse. They had a blast. I am so amazed by how quickly they gain confidence and trust in those rather large (but very friendly) creatures. The ranch workers have amazing skill to help the children relax and enjoy the horses and their horseback riding experience.

Jersey #3 practiced waving to me while the horse was in motion...

Jersey #2 is still a bit nervous, but asked to ride a second time

Jersey #1 loves horses. She is very comfortable in the saddle. She was given the opportunity to steer the horse entirely on her own, and loved it. She has been asking to take horse riding lessons.

I was most shocked when Jersey #4 climbed up on that big horse! She has only pet a horse before, and has been way too scared to ride....until now.

Jersey #5, on the other hand, can't wait to be big enough for his turn!

Santa Claus

We saw Santa Claus at a Christmas tree stand. I was a little surprised when Jersey #3 asked if he could go sit on Santa's lap. He even posed for a picture.

First it is rather odd that Jersey #3 would sit with a stranger. He normally keeps very firm boundaries with his personal space, and does not like to be touched. He will block other children from hugging him or wrestling with him, and he refuses to hold hands with others (with the exception being his parents because we require him to hold our hand while crossing the street and such things).

Second, this is the child who runs from Chuck E Cheese! He is not a fan of adults dressed up in kid-friendly character outfits. They tend to make him nervous. Except Santa, apparently.

Third, we do not give Santa much attention in our family. I was not taught to believe in Santa when I was growing up. As a result of her very broken family environment, my Mom made a decision to never lie to her children, and she stood true to that promise. My sisters and I knew that our parents provided the presents under the tree, and that the birth of Jesus was the true focus on Christmas. My Mom researched the history of Christmas traditions around the world, and taught us about the many celebrations. Living on a military base, we knew folks from many cultures, so we were able to see a variety of Christmas traditions amongst our neighbors. We were taught to be respectful of the traditions of other families and to not tell our friends the truth about Santa Claus.....as that was the responsibility of parents, not peers.

My husband received a "Santa Gift" each Christmas, even during college. This was the biggest (most expensive) gift under the tree. He could not recall any memories about believing in Santa or when he knew the truth. He was not set on any traditions....except 1: he liked receiving candy in his stocking.

We set out to create our own family traditions. We left out Santa Claus and kept stockings full of candy. For a few years, our children thought Santa Claus showed up at the company Christmas party where they had to pose for a picture in order to receive a gift. As toddlers, they were scared of him. As they got older, they heard stories about Santa in the cartoons and kid movies they watched. That was where I took the opportunity to explain to the children about the story of Santa Claus and the traditions around him. They understand Santa to be a character, much like Cinderella, Barbie, or Thomas the train. They have even met some of these characters in person, so seeing someone dressed up as Santa does not surprise them.

Our kids have been able to understand from a rather young age, that Christmas is not about receiving presents. It is about giving and loving, just like God loved us when he gave the gift of His own son to take the punishment for our sins, so that we could have the opportunity to spend eternity with Him in heaven. The children go around the house singing a song from Veggie Tales that includes the lines.....

"I can love because God loved me; I can give because He gave...."

Imagine my surprise, after thinking I've been doing well teaching the children the true meaning of Christmas, to see Jersey #3 taking such an interest in Santa. I let the scenario play out so that I could see what I was missing. Jersey #3 waved hello to Santa, and climbed up into his lap. Santa asked him what he wanted for Christmas. Jersey #3 leaned forward, reached around, and pointed to a bowl sitting on the bench next to them and said, "Can I have a candy cane?"

He observed other children receiving a candy cane from Santa, after they took their turn sitting on his lap and posing for a picture. Jersey #3 did not want to miss an opportunity to score some candy!

Jersey #2

As I was scrolling through my file of basketball pictures, it just dawned on me that Jersey #2 is literally wearing Jersey #2 this season. How cute is that!

Dessert

Our family enjoyed a big dinner at our church this weekend. It is an annual event where we invite missionaries to join us for a meal and fellowship and to share about their work. This year, the dessert table was nearly as full as the buffet tables. Our children were all smiles as they dove into all of that sugar.

Jersey #5 only sits still when he is eating...

It appears that someone (Jersey #1) got a little carried away with the chocolate fountain...

The love of chocolate runs deep in our genes...

Jersey #3 asked for a piece of the chocolate cake with peppermint frosting. The slices were huge, so I cut one in half for him, and handed over the other half to a friend who wanted a smaller piece. Jersey #3 quickly returned for more cake. I ended up serving him a total of 3 halves before I gave up and gave him an entire slice! He ate 2 1/2 slices of cake, after I thought 1 slice was too big for him!

Jersey #2 is happiest when she is eating dessert!