A Very Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!

Christmas brings such sweet thoughts and memories to me. During my childhood, Christmas was a glorious time of year. My Mom worked hard to create family traditions, and I just love the memories I get to hold onto. I love Christmas plays, Christmas church services, Christmas cookies, Christmas cards, pictures, and annual newsletters, Christmas lights, Christmas trees, Christmas dinner, Christmas parties, Christmas gifts, the Christmas story, and did I mention Christmas cookies?! Christmas is a busy, social time of year, where we celebrate the greatest gift ever given (Jesus) and take the opportunity to spread love & joy to all of our friends, family, neighbors, and strangers everywhere. I love it.

This Christmas has been tainted with a shadow of fear that it may be our last Christmas with Jersey #2. I wanted all of the memories to be perfect. In the end, very little progressed according to my plans...but all of my desired traditions progressed...and it was the most wonderful Christmas!

This year, we took the time to decorate the house indoors and out. We let the kids take the lead on the decorations, based on what was most exciting to them. During the cold winter evenings, we stayed warm indoors playing games as a family. We laughed and we spent time together. We bought a few Christmas-themed movies to enjoy together. We baked Christmas cookies, and even managed to deliver a few to some home-bound friends. The kids helped wrap presents for their grandparents. We made Christmas cards for coaches and teachers. We sang Christmas carols at a nursing home. We attended Christmas parties.

We did not do these activities every day. We did them over time, little by little, along with all the regular activities of work, school, and household chores. We still dealt with sibling rivalry, messy bedrooms, illness, grumpiness, and sadness. Needless to say, we were not perfect. In the midst of our real life, we enjoyed the celebration of Christmas.

This Christmas was extra-special. One reason was that we relaxed about the "chores" of Christmas traditions, and let the kids lead us on the path of excitement. Another reason was that we stuck to our budget. An even better reason was that Granny & PawPaw came to visit...

Granny & PawPaw set up a new tradition of visiting the homes of their grown children for Christmas. This year was our turn for them to visit and enjoy Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, along with Christmas dinner, with our family. I am certain that our children were more excited about Granny & PawPaw's visit than they were about the presents under the tree!

In addition, Granny & PawPaw brought with them a whole truckload of gifts. They brought up gifts from them, gifts from Nana (The Referee's Mom), and gifts from our exchange with extended family. Plus, they brought us a cooler full of frozen meat, sharing the side of beef that PawPaw was given by his employer. They brought winter coats, hats, and gloves for all of the kids. They brought new PJs for the kids too. They brought PawPaw's famous apple pie, a box filled with various Christmas cookies, a huge fruit basket, and another pile of miscellanouse junk food and soda. I almost said that all we had to cover were the vegetables for Christmas dinner, but they actually brought up a container of chopped veggies and Great-Granny's famous veggie dip! They filled our coat closet, our fridge, our pantry, under the Christmas tree, and every counter space we could find. Who needs Santa Claus when Granny & PawPaw are comin' to town!

We had such a nice visit. Jersey #2 tried to beat PawPaw at a game of chess, but he showed her that his chess skills were still top notch

We ordered pizza for dinner on Christmas eve, played games, visited, and took some pictures. When Jersey #4 prayed the blessing before our meal, she thanked God for the pizza and for Granny & PawPaw!

Our family enjoys the tradition of opening gifts in the evening on Christmas Eve. We started the fun with PawPaw reading the Christmas story, from the Bible.

The children were so excited about each of their Christmas gifts. They received everything they ever wanted...and more. They were quite surprised that everyone knew just what they liked. Jersey #1 received an American Girl doll as her gift from Granny & PawPaw. She was completely shocked that her uncle gave her the book collection to match her exact doll, as his exchange gift. She asked, just how did he know?! We enjoyed a good laugh about how it was almost as if our family had communicated (via email) some of the gifts we were giving, to complement the other gifts.

I admit that I had a bit of a hard time realizing how much my girls are growing up. Elmo, Dora, and Princesses are being replaced by American Girl dolls, Barbie, and the Jonas Brothers.

At least Jersey #4 still enjoys baby dolls and ducks. We are not sure where her duck obsession came from, but she has loved rubber ducks and stuffed animal ducks her whole life. She also enjoyed feeding her new baby doll a bottle that looks like it empties when it is tipped upside down.

Jersey #3 danced and shook and spasmed with each and every train and train set he opened. At one point, we questioned if it was hazardous to his health to be that excited! This child lives, eats, and breathes Thomas the train. (and I admit that I like that--because I do not have to worry about Thomas the train being dressed properly, or inappropriately sexualized, as is a terrible problem with some of the popular toys for girls).

Jersey #5 had more fun with the box!

After all of the gifts were opened.....followed by a lengthy opening of the packaging, and putting toys together, the kids played themselves to exhaustion.

Since Granny & PawPaw wake up when it is still dark outside, some of the children attempted to keep that schedule. Granny keeps them smiling with cookies for breakfast (can we actually call it breakfast if the sun has not come up yet?)

Jersey #2 could not wait to use her Easy Bake oven. It took a little parental effort to get it up and running this morning. That was a lot of work just to attempt to cook a mini cake with a light bulb!

It was all worth it to watch her take great care to bake her first self-made cake. She ate the whole thing herself too, saying it was very yummy!

We enjoyed a lunchtime Christmas dinner together, before Granny & PawPaw had to get back on the road toward home. The Referee whipped up some delicious terriyaki steaks, with some of the meat Granny & PawPaw brought us, along with sauteed squash & carrots. I filled in the sides...mashed potatoes n gravy, corn, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and rolls. We had such a nice visit. We had such a fun time opening presents with the kids. We enjoyed celebrating Christmas together.

Our family enjoyed the best Christmas this year. It was filled with joy, not strife. The time spent together, having fun with our family, was perfect. I will carry the happy memories with me well into the New Year.

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. (Luke 2:14)

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas from the Home Team!

Christmas cookies

I had many helpers ready to make sugar cookies last night....

They took turns rolling the dough and cutting out shapes...

Waiting for the cookies to bake was the hardest part...

The youngest two decided they could handle the next batch on their own...

Frosting, decorating, and eating the sugar cookies was a great reward for all that hard work...

I set out with the goal to bake cookies to hand out to friends. It didn't take me long to realize I had miscalculated my abilities. I cannot bake, cool, frost, and decorate the cookies fast enough to satiate my own family, let alone anyone else. 1 husband and 5 children engulf a half-dozen cookies with every serving! Plus, my husband eats them plain while waiting for one to be frosted.

This year, I am either going to have to skip the thought of passing out plates of cookies to my friends.....or learn to bake in the middle of the night when everyone else is asleep!

Jury Duty

I'm currently waiting to hear from the juror coordinator, sometime this week, regarding my jury duty selection. I've been told that courthouse time runs very different than real world time, so this wait could get interesting.

I was summoned for jury duty. It is a little amazing that this is a first for me. I am not sure how I've dodged it for so long. At first, I didn't really mind being summoned. I sort of understand that civic duty. It sounded somewhat interesting.....in theory.

As the details unfold, I am no longer intrigued.

The summons gave me a date to report to the court house for orientation. That seemed Ok, as I also had a dentist appointment that day, so my husband was already prepared to take time off work to be home with the kids.

Next, was a questionnaire to fill out, asking a variety of personal details. This startled me a bit. I understand the desire to find a jury of peers, so they would need some information on me. I was a bit troubled by the level of information they were asking. I was downright appalled at the level of information they were asking after listing a note at the top of the page that stated that the information I provided would be available to all parties involved in the court cases. It was absurdly comical that they were actually asking me to provide very detailed directions to my house, along with the number and ages of my children, along with the name, career, and employment schedule of my spouse. Is it me, or were they actually suggesting that I give very specific instructions...to someone accused of breaking the law... on how to find me and my children at a time when my husband would be away at work? Maybe they were wanting me to provide detailed information on how to get to my house at a time when no one would be home???

No thank you.

At the bottom of the page, there was a small footnote that said I could place an asterisk in place of any answer that I would prefer to answer directly to the judge. I exercised that option for every question that I felt was too personal or dangerous to me or my family. I had no problem answering all the questions about whether I worked in the court system, or whether I had been involved in any court cases before.

The summons went on to say that jury duty is never convenient, so please consider serving at this time, instead of trying to be excused. There were two reasons for excuse...1 was medical (if you provided a note from your doctor)....the other was if you were a convicted criminal who did not serve your time (huh? Were they sending these summons out through the wrong courthouse database?)

I followed the orientation instructions to the letter. It told the exact place to park, where they would be able to validate parking. Unfortunately, that parking structure has a height clearance that is too short for my big van. Fortunately, I anticipated this, and borrowed my husband's car that afternoon. I walked from the parking garage to the courthouse with a slew of other jurors and then received the opportunity to stand in the security line with them.

It was rather amusing to me the level of schizophrenia that is involved at the courthouse. (I'm not speaking of mentally ill folks committing crimes.) On one hand, the summons thanks me for assisting the judge in my civic duty. On the other hand, it threatens me with police action if I fail to show up. I am told to arrive at a specific time....along with 300 other summoned citizens.....and the courthouse workers grow quickly annoyed by the congestion in the security line. The security process in itself made me question which side of the criminal line I was actually standing on! When the security guards started barking orders about folks needing to remove their belts before walking through the metal detectors, I was almost tempted to look down and see if I was actually wearing a prison jumpsuit! Were we there as common citizens "helping" out our judicial system.....or were we just potential criminals in the making?

I made my way to the jury orientation room and stood in the line to check in. The efficiency of the place just blossomed from that point. For the 300 citizens summoned to orientation that day, they had a whopping 150 chairs available, and about 80 additional chairs squeezed into a room that probably breaks fire code when all 300 of us were in it. We each stood in line to be greeted by the clerks and coordinators. We were handed a packet of papers and a pen. The purpose of the pen was to write down our juror number on the front of our packet.

After the judge gave a little pep talk as to the importance of the jury, he read the official summons and turned our attention over to the juror coordinators. A lady actually stood at the podium and read a roll call of every one of our 300 names. She then told us our juror number. The numbers were pre-determined before we arrived, and they did not change even if no one answered to the name in front of us, so I am still not clear as to why they did not just hand us a packet with our name and juror number on it from the start, and save all that read aloud time.

I was one of the lucky ones.

Out of 300 summoned citizens, the computer randomly assigned me to be juror number 4. Then, the jury coordinator took the first 36 jurors and placed each of us on 1 of 3 jury panels. I was placed on the first panel. A jury panel gets the privelage of serving 2 days a week, for the full business day, for the full 3 months of our service time. Serving two 8-hour days....16 hours a week for 3 months.....that is a part-time job! Honestly, who has the time and ability to drop their current life and pick up a part-time job at the courthouse?

Actually, they pay minimum wage, so folks who are out of work might consider volunteering for jury duty in order to pick up a part-time job.

The remaining 264 folks were placed on the "alternate" list, to fill in when the regular panel members need to be absent. They have to call every Friday evening, to find out if they need to show up for jury duty the following week.

The panel folks were gathered and taken to a court room for further details. Here, the jury coordinators asked us how this panel schedule would work for us. At least half of the panel folks explain why they can't just pick up a part-time job like this. Many of them suggest that they could manage 1 single day a week. That makes me wonder why they don't just set up more panels overall and schedule them 1 day a week, cutting back on a lot of the scheduling hassle.

A few folks mentioned they work out of town all week long, and return for weekends. That was where we were informed that we have the option to reschedule our jury duty commitment one time. After that, we are expected to serve the next time we are summoned. The current summons schedule ends before Jersey #2's upcoming surgery, and I can't risk being re-summoned during her surgery and recovery timeline, so I chose to stick this out.

As the caregiver of 5 young children, I do not see a way to pick up this part-time job at the courthouse. Even if I could find babysitters to work those two full days a week, paying them would cost more than I would be making. The Referee could alter his work schedule to fit in 1 day at home, but not 2. The committment is so big that it just does not make any sense.

The jury coordinator says she will do all she can to work it out for us. She says there are folks on the alternate list who would like to be on a panel, so she thinks it may all work out. (So, why didn't they just take volunteers for the panels first?) But, she needs time to calculate and will let us all know some time this week. I have no clue what I am going to do if they decide to keep me on a panel.

It will be interesting to see what my Christmas present from the courthouse is this week...

Food & Finances Friday--Year End Review

There are two areas in my life where I am attempting to really "mature," as much and as quickly as I can--Food and Finances. I have been on such a slow path in these two areas, as I have been slow to grow in the past. I decided to turn them into a weekly theme and share the details...hoping to help myself with personal accountability.

Lately, I've been reflecting over the events of this year. It seems as though we have come a long way already, AND there is still quite an uphill road ahead of us. We've made a lot of changes for the better. We've learned a few hard lessons. We are still paying the consequences of many hard lessons.

5 months ago, we shredded all of our credit cards, making the commitment to pay off all of our debts. We were full of excitement from the start, and used that energy to purge the excess junk from our home. We sold off a ton of stuff, and donated the rest. That initial energy surge was dampened by a major increase in our medical expenses....an increase that continues to give additional challenges to our monthly budget.

Upon review, I realize that I am rather pleased with how far we've come, and where we are standing right now. I am hopeful for the path we are on, and look forward to the day when we are living debt free.

The credit cards remain shredded and unused. The debt balances are decreasing each month. The decrease is slower than I would prefer, but still moving in the right direction.

We were hit with medical expenses beyond our capacity in October & November. That brought about awareness to the need to budget a much larger amount for the medical line item in our monthly budget. We now have that category budgeted higher/better.

When we got in over our heads in those medical expenses, we were forced to find a solution. Instead of returning to the credit cards, we weighed out the options of pursuing a loan through our credit union or pursuing a payment plan with the hospital. We chose to take out a signature loan for only the amount needed to cover those expenses, setting up payments to come directly out of each paycheck. That was a speed bump in our debt elimination journey.

We stuck to our budget for Christmas! That was a big accomplishment. I am quite amazed by how it became easier to only buy what was on the list when I was focused on staying within budget. I am already convinced that the presents under the tree will bring joy to the children without bringing buyer's remorse to the parents.

Our house looks so much bigger and open now that we've purged excess junk. It feels like we are living in a new home. We took the time to organize each room, so that everything has its place, and we are only keeping the items we want/use. Training the children to clean up after themselves is the current step of this journey, which is taking some time. I am also working on training myself to be more disciplined in my housekeeping routines. After getting rid of so much stuff, we are much more careful about the things we want to buy and bring home.

In the food category, we have made 2 major achievements this year. Both are beneficial to the finances too. First, we are not eating out regularly. Actually, we could be accused of rarely eating out these days! Fast food, picking up a pizza, or going out to dinner are no longer our first thoughts for meals. We eat at home. We pack snacks for car trips. We use up our groceries before they spoil. And, we save a ton of money that way. We are all healthier, and the adults are dropping weight. These are all very positive results!

Second, I have become the queen of crockpot chicken. We can buy a 2-pack of frozen whole chicken for the price of a single rotisserie chicken cooked in the store. I can put a frozen chicken in the crockpot first thing in the morning, add some water and a few seasonings, and have a pleasant smell in the house all afternoon and a delicious dinner in the evening. Each chicken provides 2 meals for our family right now. I add veggies and potato sides for dinner, or stuff things into a tortilla for chicken burrito variations, or make a casserole/enchilada dish that includes the chicken. (I have learned that everyone got tired of chicken soup quicker than my other chicken meals). I am amazed by what a chicken can do to feed a family!

I wish success would come faster. I see we still have a long way to go. Right now, I am trying to focus on just how much we have improved, and be confident that those improvements are moving us in the right direction.

Pride goeth before a Fall

A certain 2-year old recently taught me a lesson about pride.

For the past few weeks, I have been celebrating her quick potty training success. It has been rather exciting! I have been ready to dance in the streets in celebration of her strong-willed personality finally working in my favor! I've shared my excitement with all of my friends and family. I did not have to battle her on this one. I caught a lucky break.

Or so I thought.

There is an old saying, Pride goes before a fall.

It is an abridged version of Proverbs 16:18, right out of the Bible, which says, Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.

I am no biblical scholar, but I get this warning that pride leads to a fall.

And I fell.

We have 2 bathrooms in our house. The main bathroom is bigger, and holds kid stuff. It is the bathroom with the step stool, with the potty chair, with the kid sized seats that fit right on top of the toilet seat. It is the best place for the kids to use the potty.

Jersey #4 prefers to use the MY bathroom. It is a smaller bathroom right off the master bedroom.

It just so happened that I was using my bathroom at the exact time that Jersey #4 arrived and said she needed to go potty. I explained to her that I was using this facility, and she needed to go to the other bathroom instead. She argued. I re-explained. She closed the door and left.

So I thought.

Upon exiting the bathroom, I discovered Jersey #4 standing right outside the bathroom door, in a puddle. Instead of going to the other bathroom, she decided to just stand there and wet herself. I asked her why she wet her pants. She answered, "because I wanted this bathroom!"

We engaged in a little "lesson" about obeying Mommy, and cleaned up the mess. It appears I've still got my work cut out for me with this child.

So much for her strong will working in my favor.

Back in the Saddle

Our children had the opportunity to go for a little ride on a horse. They had a blast. I am so amazed by how quickly they gain confidence and trust in those rather large (but very friendly) creatures. The ranch workers have amazing skill to help the children relax and enjoy the horses and their horseback riding experience.

Jersey #3 practiced waving to me while the horse was in motion...

Jersey #2 is still a bit nervous, but asked to ride a second time

Jersey #1 loves horses. She is very comfortable in the saddle. She was given the opportunity to steer the horse entirely on her own, and loved it. She has been asking to take horse riding lessons.

I was most shocked when Jersey #4 climbed up on that big horse! She has only pet a horse before, and has been way too scared to ride....until now.

Jersey #5, on the other hand, can't wait to be big enough for his turn!

Santa Claus

We saw Santa Claus at a Christmas tree stand. I was a little surprised when Jersey #3 asked if he could go sit on Santa's lap. He even posed for a picture.

First it is rather odd that Jersey #3 would sit with a stranger. He normally keeps very firm boundaries with his personal space, and does not like to be touched. He will block other children from hugging him or wrestling with him, and he refuses to hold hands with others (with the exception being his parents because we require him to hold our hand while crossing the street and such things).

Second, this is the child who runs from Chuck E Cheese! He is not a fan of adults dressed up in kid-friendly character outfits. They tend to make him nervous. Except Santa, apparently.

Third, we do not give Santa much attention in our family. I was not taught to believe in Santa when I was growing up. As a result of her very broken family environment, my Mom made a decision to never lie to her children, and she stood true to that promise. My sisters and I knew that our parents provided the presents under the tree, and that the birth of Jesus was the true focus on Christmas. My Mom researched the history of Christmas traditions around the world, and taught us about the many celebrations. Living on a military base, we knew folks from many cultures, so we were able to see a variety of Christmas traditions amongst our neighbors. We were taught to be respectful of the traditions of other families and to not tell our friends the truth about Santa Claus.....as that was the responsibility of parents, not peers.

My husband received a "Santa Gift" each Christmas, even during college. This was the biggest (most expensive) gift under the tree. He could not recall any memories about believing in Santa or when he knew the truth. He was not set on any traditions....except 1: he liked receiving candy in his stocking.

We set out to create our own family traditions. We left out Santa Claus and kept stockings full of candy. For a few years, our children thought Santa Claus showed up at the company Christmas party where they had to pose for a picture in order to receive a gift. As toddlers, they were scared of him. As they got older, they heard stories about Santa in the cartoons and kid movies they watched. That was where I took the opportunity to explain to the children about the story of Santa Claus and the traditions around him. They understand Santa to be a character, much like Cinderella, Barbie, or Thomas the train. They have even met some of these characters in person, so seeing someone dressed up as Santa does not surprise them.

Our kids have been able to understand from a rather young age, that Christmas is not about receiving presents. It is about giving and loving, just like God loved us when he gave the gift of His own son to take the punishment for our sins, so that we could have the opportunity to spend eternity with Him in heaven. The children go around the house singing a song from Veggie Tales that includes the lines.....

"I can love because God loved me; I can give because He gave...."

Imagine my surprise, after thinking I've been doing well teaching the children the true meaning of Christmas, to see Jersey #3 taking such an interest in Santa. I let the scenario play out so that I could see what I was missing. Jersey #3 waved hello to Santa, and climbed up into his lap. Santa asked him what he wanted for Christmas. Jersey #3 leaned forward, reached around, and pointed to a bowl sitting on the bench next to them and said, "Can I have a candy cane?"

He observed other children receiving a candy cane from Santa, after they took their turn sitting on his lap and posing for a picture. Jersey #3 did not want to miss an opportunity to score some candy!

Jersey #2

As I was scrolling through my file of basketball pictures, it just dawned on me that Jersey #2 is literally wearing Jersey #2 this season. How cute is that!

Dessert

Our family enjoyed a big dinner at our church this weekend. It is an annual event where we invite missionaries to join us for a meal and fellowship and to share about their work. This year, the dessert table was nearly as full as the buffet tables. Our children were all smiles as they dove into all of that sugar.

Jersey #5 only sits still when he is eating...

It appears that someone (Jersey #1) got a little carried away with the chocolate fountain...

The love of chocolate runs deep in our genes...

Jersey #3 asked for a piece of the chocolate cake with peppermint frosting. The slices were huge, so I cut one in half for him, and handed over the other half to a friend who wanted a smaller piece. Jersey #3 quickly returned for more cake. I ended up serving him a total of 3 halves before I gave up and gave him an entire slice! He ate 2 1/2 slices of cake, after I thought 1 slice was too big for him!

Jersey #2 is happiest when she is eating dessert!

Basketball Season Has Begun

Winter is here. For The Home Team, that means that it is basketball season! The girls have been practicing for a few weeks already, and games began today. Attending basketball games is a fun activity for the whole family. I sat on the bleachers with the younger kids....cheering, chasing Jersey #5 off the court, and taking Jersey #4 to the potty, repeatedly! During Jersey #1's game this morning, The Referee was the referee. That was his first referee experience for a basketball game. He says it is quite a bit different than being the referee for soccer.

This year, the girls are not on the same team. Their ages place them in different brackets, and on different teams. Jersey #2 has the additional adjustment to playing on a co-ed team, as there were not enough girls signed up to form their own league. Thankfully, her coach is the father of a daughter on the team, so he seems pretty good about treating the girls as fairly as the boys. I admit we were a bit concerned about that at first.

Another difference about the coed team is that there are more players than usual (because there are plenty of boys signed up to play). Each player plays half a game (versus the 3/4 of a game the girls are used to playing due to smaller teams). This is a great blessing in disguise, because it means that Jersey #2 is ONLY playing half a game. I have been struggling with the choice to let her play, knowing her heart is weak. We had her signed up before we knew she would need surgery now. We don't want to remove her from her activities and treat her like she is being punished for having a heart condition. So, her only playing half a game at a time is a really good compromise. I am going to stretch that even further and ask her coach to sit her out every other period, so that she plays one, rests one. She played 2 periods in a row today and was way too pale for our liking during that second one. She lost her smile for a while too, and that is a bad sign. After a few minutes of sitting on the bench, her color and smile returned and she left the game loving basketball!

Jersey #1 has the same coach that both girls had last year. We are excited about that. He is a great coach, and has an absolute love for the game of basketball. His enthusiasm is contagious! Jersey #1 really enjoys playing basketball. With her height and chicken legs, it seem like a good fit for her! She was very excited to have her Daddy ref her game. Normally they don't have parents ref their own child's game, but they were low on volunteers and he was trained and willing. He did a great job, and got the best seat in the house to watch Jersey #1 play!

Baby's First Haircut

I took the baby to get his first haircut.

He was such a big boy sitting in the big chair...

He started to get a little concerned as the haircut got underway...

Just what is she planning to do with those noisy tools?

Half-way done, and starting to protest...

This is NOT fun!

There are plenty of helpers trying to distract him...

All Done! A lollipop helps mend things...

Out of that chair, playing in the waiting area, full of smiles again...

I took the baby to get his first haircut. I left the salon with a handsome little boy.

Where's Mine?

We were driving down the road the other day, when I overheard my oldest 2 daughters having a conversation with one of their friends. They were talking about best friends, and each was trying to describe their best friend in a way that the other would know who they were talking about. Jersey #1 names a friend and describes her by saying, "she just got a new baby sister!"

I laughed at the way she described receiving a new baby into the family, as if her friend received a birthday or Christmas present. As if we could just buy one of those baby sisters at the store.

Last night, while the entire family was driving home together, the older 3 children were engaged in a conversation that included naming all of their friends and cousins who have recently been blessed with baby sisters or baby brothers, and those who will soon be blessed with babies in their families.

With a tone that implied she was feeling quite slighted, Jersey #1 demanded, "HEY! WHERE'S OUR NEW BABY?"

Cucumber Teeth

Jersey #3, lost another tooth this weekend. Our son. Our 4-year-old son. He is now missing 3 teeth. All are missing from the top front of his smile. This is SO not normal.

Normal would be a kindergarten/1st grade child losing a tooth. A 5 or 6 year old losing a first tooth. A bottom tooth. Bottom teeth first, along the same pattern that they grow in to begin with.

Normal would be a baby tooth being pushed out by the permanent tooth attempting to grow into its place. The baby tooth becomes loose, wiggles, and falls out. That is the way it is suppose to go.

Instead of normal, we get the experience of a 4-year-old boy wrecking on his bicycle last summer, and knocking his top front teeth loose. They could have firmed back up on their own. Should have. Would have. Could have.....IF he had left them alone. Instead, we have a son who just cannot stand the sensation of loose teeth in his mouth. His tongue wiggled them constantly. We would catch him wiggling them with his fingers while watching TV. Reminding him to leave his teeth alone has only delayed the inevitable. Over the course of the last 5 months, he has wiggled 3 of the original 4 loose teeth right out of his mouth.

Normal children would be self-conscious about their smile. The public comments, "Oh My! What happened to your teeth?" would be embarrassing. They would be concerned that their teeth did not look similar to their friends and peers.

Instead of the normal response, Jersey #3 is thrilled! He smiles for everyone and shows off his progress in wiggling out his teeth. He is proud of his bicycle story. He is proud of his smile. With only 1 top tooth in center remaining, he says that now he looks like Larry the Cucumber from Veggie Tales.

He ran immediately to dress up in the Larry Costume to show us.

There is a part of me that feels bad that my child will have this toothless smile for at least a couple years (because the permanent teeth on top do not grow in until around age 7). It is a little shocking to see so many missing teeth on such a young child, so he will continue to draw attention and comments. It is just not normal.

And then I look at that silly, toothless smile and it makes me smile. I see his eyes light up as he beams with pride, and I giggle. This is the child who humbles me. Just when I think I know what I am doing as a Mom, he throws me for a loop. He makes me question every priority I have. He brings me to my knees.....

Dear God, please give me the strength to raise this boy. Please give me the grace to not judge him as flawed. Please give me just a piece of his joy, so that I may see Larry the Cucumber in all the holes in my life!

I am blessed to be this child's Mom. God made him special...and He loves him very much!

Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

The inside of our home is decorated for Christmas. With 5 young children in the house, we tend to divert from the norm in our decorating style. We left off the lower third of the branches of the tree, left most of the breakable ornaments in storage, and opted to decorate the tree with more lights this year instead. The tree is definitely bright and colorful.

Excited children are a so much fun to be around. They are excited about every aspect of Christmas traditions. I had so much fun taking pictures of them having fun.

We started with the tree in the corner, and the kids dressed in festive shirts. Jersey #5 thought he might get hungry, so he is holding an apple in each hand...

Jersey #1 asked if she could hang the garland all by herself. She took such great care to do a good job. I figure in a few years, she will provide us with a tree worthy of a store window, instead of the modified-for-youngin's version that we use now.

A few years ago, a woman at a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) meeting, suggested to the group that we display a kid-friendly nativity set, for the children to enjoy. We've got 2 now...a Veggie Tales version, and the Little People version. They are a HUGE hit.

Last year, Jersey #2 begged to take the Veggie Mary and Veggie baby Jesus to bed with her at night (promising to return them to the scene in the morning!) She cherished them and played with them constantly. I had to search her room when it was time to put away the Christmas decorations. One of her Christmas gifts this year is a plastic nativity set of her very own. I can hardly wait for her to open it!

I have no idea what this little elf is up to...

Santa Baby is still holding an apple. He simultaneously snacked and decorated (or pulled the contents out of the storage bins and threw them on the floor, as the case may be).

Our train conductor set up the M&Ms train.

Here is our professional decorator hard at work. She takes her job seriously...

Jersey #2, on the other hand, preferred to BE a Christmas tree...

Food & Finances Friday--Family Photo

I love photos. I enjoy taking pictures of the kids to capture their childhood. I love a nice family photo. I try to make a point to get a family photo at least once a year. I normally prefer to go to a photo studio for our family photo. This year, I decided to cut costs and improve the budget by having a friend take a picture of our family, and then ordering photo cards from one of the cheaper digital print places online.

To keep it simple, we all wore jeans. The girls wore red shirts and the boys wore blue shirts.

We stopped over at our friend's house on our way to a birthday party. It really helped with cooperation from the older children to know that if they posed and smiled well, the photo session would go quickly, and then we could move on to the fun birthday party!

Trying to get 7 people to face forward and smile pretty is quite a challenge. Our standard protocol is to tell everyone to face forward and smile, because as soon as the baby is facing forward, the photographer will snap the picture!

Babies have a way of disrupting a photo session.

Jersey #5 looks as though he has a headache from trying so hard to sit still. Jersey #4 is not amused!

I said face the camera and smile. So where is Jersey #4 facing?

Jersey #3 & Jersey #4 are distracted, so Jersey #5 tries to break out of formation!

And this is what happens when Mommy forces Jersey #5 to sit back down in my lap....

Yes, the photo session is over when the baby starts to tantrum!

When Babies Sleep

Children are such precious little angels when they are asleep. When I was pregnant with my first child, my Mom advised me to be sure to peek in on my kids every night, after they are asleep, in order to be renewed with joy from just how wonderful they were. She said that the stress of the most trying day of motherhood could be melted away by the angelic face of a sleeping child.

Sleeping babies have nearly become an obsession in the mommy-world. I'm pretty sure the question, "Is your baby sleeping through the night, yet?" is one of the most frequent questions a new Mom receives. Parenting books seem to be categorized by their method and location recommended for getting a baby to sleep. When Jersey #1 was a newborn, I made the mistake of reading 2 different parenting books that had exact opposite styles. At the time, I had no idea that there were so many "expert" classifications for raising kids. Instead of realizing they were different styles, I became a wreck trying figure out which was the best. I wanted to do everything perfectly, which is why I was studying such things in the first place.

One method had me panicking because Jersey #1 was not falling asleep on her own, in her crib when she was sleepy, but still awake. The book claimed I would ruin her sleep habits for life if I did not train her how to soothe herself to sleep right from the start. The other book criticized the use of a crib in the first place, or even the thought of putting the baby down at all. I tried to make sense of the opposing advice. I tried putting her down in her crib to fall asleep. She disliked the idea greatly. I refused to let her lay there and cry, as THAT concept was completely unnatural to me. I figured I would rather fail as a mother, and ruin her sleep habits for life, than to leave my newborn baby screaming alone in a crib, when it is my nature as a mother to bring comfort to my child.

I was not set on the family bed as our standard, either. Something was not settled for me with the co-sleeping concept.....are we talking temporary or permanent? It seemed to me that there would have to be a point when the child would leave the family bed. Surely, parents are not living in the dorms in order to co-sleep with their kids. College sounds like an extreme example, for sure, but my question was just when exactly does co-sleeping end? It seemed to me that at some point it would need to end, and the child would need to learn to sleep on their own. Since I wanted to do everything perfectly, I wanted to know when was the perfect time for a child to learn to sleep in their own bed, on their own.

I was a mess because my natural response ran contrary to the advice in both parenting books. I was essentially failing at two of the most popular parenting methods! My natural response was to hold my newborn in my arms, both night and day, and respond to all of her needs and wants. But, I also wanted her to develop healthy sleep habits, and eventually sleep in her own bed. One method explained that I would ruin her for life if I didn't sleep train her by 8 weeks old. The other method explained that I was heartless for wanting to "cage" her up alone in a crib at all. I was a double failure as a mother!

My husband shrugged off all of the parenting advice in any of the books, and said, "We do what works for us." I wish I would have had his response from the start. I certainly have it now.

Jersey #2 was a completely opposite baby than her sister. I decided that I would have felt much better about my parenting choices if I had been lucky enough to read the corresponding book for each child. Jersey #1 fit one method really well, Jersey #2 fit the other. I decided that those authors must have only dealt with kids that fit their style, or maybe they only had 1 kid, so they thought there was only 1 style. Jersey #1 enjoyed being strapped on to my body, and co-sleeping. Jersey #2 slept on her back, on her own, in her bassinet from the beginning. She was uncomfortable in bed with us....she wanted her space! My husband joked that I should write a parenting book, since I realize that not all children are the same!

Five kids later, and I still don't fit any of the popular parenting methods. I've learned to accept the "We do what works for us" approach instead. Since I am a scientist by nature, and not a parenting expert, I began to hypothesize and collect data about sleep habits. Then it hit me--Nature vs Nurture! Of course! It is the age-old debate. Do our habits come from genetics or from our environment? Well, the parenting methods I was reading were focusing on Nurture....how parents can create the environment that will help babies sleep. But, one of the things that I love about medicine/human biology is that both genetics and environmental influences play a part. The combination of influences creates so much variety in our lives. Even though our 5 children come from the same 2 parents, they have many differences in looks, personalities, and behaviors. So why would I ever believe that the same parenting method was going to work equally well with each of them?

I laugh at myself now, for even trying to find the perfect method for helping my babies develop healthy sleep habits. Considering how different my husband & I are with our own sleep habits, which one would I say was perfect? As a baby, I loved to sleep. My Mom has documented in my baby book that I slept 12 hours a night, and napped 4 hours during the day, napping until kindergarten! My husband, on the other hand, requires very little sleep, and has a hard time getting his mind to shut down long enough to get some rest. He likes to fall asleep with the television on, as background noise to take his mind off the thoughts in his head. His Mom recalls that he was the last to bed, and the first awake, and he gave up his nap way too soon!

It is no surprise that our children are a mixed combination of the two of us. Their sleep preferences are a mix as well. Jersey #1 takes after me the most. She likes her sleep. She also napped until she was 4 years old....and will still take a nap on random occasions. Jersey #2 is just like her Daddy. She is last to bed and the first awake. She gave up her nap before she was 2 years old. Jersey #3 required more assistance getting to sleep than his siblings. He lacked self-soothing skills from birth. We chose to teach him to take a pacifier, and to rock to sleep. He likes to have his head rubbed....he will put his head in my lap and lay across the pew at church, and falls asleep when I rub his head. When Jersey #3 was 2-3yrs old, he was a dedicated napper. He took a nap everyday after lunch, without fail. He would take himself to his bed and fall asleep. One day we had friends over to play, and he promptly left the group at nap time and put himself to bed...even though kids were there playing in his bedroom! (One of the Moms asked me HOW did I train him to do THAT...but the truth is that I didn't, it was just his style). Jersey #4 is a night owl. She likes to stay up late and sleep in late. She gave up the pacifier at 9 months old, and gave up her daily nap before she was 2. She currently naps 1 out of every 3 days. Jersey #5 loves to be rocked to sleep by his Daddy specifically. They have a routine of sitting in the recliner, watching a movie, and rocking to sleep. The Referee is often the first one to sleep! Jersey #5 has been so easy-going and naps daily regardless of location (even if it means falling asleep in a shopping cart). He will nap in the car, in the stroller, in my arms, in his bed, on the couch...motion gets the best of him...when he gets tired, he sleeps.

What works for us is to set the goal that each of the kids gets enough sleep to meet their physical need. We want them to be comfortable and relaxed in their own beds. We want them to learn to fall asleep on their own, and to return to sleep if they wake in the night. We want them to develop healthy sleep habits. Plus, I want to get some sleep too! Instead of following one of the popular parenting methods, I simply keep our sleep goals in mind for our kids, and then guide each of them towards those goals at their own pace....accepting that each child is different.

We have better results with rocking our babies to sleep, and training our toddlers to fall asleep on their own. When the kids stop enjoying rocking to sleep....when they start to wiggle and try to get down out of our laps....we know it is time to try a different bedtime routine. Jersey #1 used to enjoy watching Elmo on TV when she was a young toddler. We could dress her in her PJs and let her sit on the couch and watch an Elmo episode, and she would be fast asleep before it was over. We would carry her to her bed, and she would sleep 12 hours. Watching TV keeps Jersey #2 awake. She will stay up until the program is over. So, that method did not work for her. When Jersey #2 was a toddler, we started training the girls to fall asleep in their own beds at night. They shared a room. We started reading bedtime stories and letting them rest in bed and read. Reading books in bed is one of my favorite bedtime routines. The entire household is peaceful when the kids are in their own beds reading books until they fall asleep. The Referee still enjoys falling asleep while watching TV. So, when I am sick or needing some rest, he will let the kids watch a movie with him in the living room until they fall asleep, while I go to bed. Jersey #2 will watch the movie until she is tired, and then will join me in my bed, or go to her own bed to sleep.

Our family is also known for playing musical beds. We start out the night with everyone in their own beds.....and then we do whatever it takes to get sleep! We will sleep in the recliner to help elevate a congested child. We will turn the living room into an infirmary to watch the kids with fevers and vomiting. Our bed turns into a family bed when there are bad dreams, bedwetters who have soiled their own sheets (but they must put on a pull-up before sleeping in our bed), or any need for extra warmth or comfort. (Jersey #2 likes to sleep against my lower back when she is cold and having trouble maintaining her body heat).

Since we have siblings sharing bedrooms, we also make accomodations when one of the kids falls asleep before the others. There have been nights that we let Jersey #3 & Jersey #4 fall asleep on the couch, because their baby brother is already asleep in their bedroom. We carry them to their beds after they are asleep. When the children are going to bed at the same time, we leave the light on until they are asleep, or ask for it to be turned off.

What I really like about our "we do what works for us" method of sleep training our kids, is that it is so peaceful & relaxed, and everyone gets sleep. Healthy sleep habits should start with peaceful sleep. There is no crying. There are no trantrums. There are no punishments. There are full bellies (after a bedtime snack), comfort items (pacifiers, sippy cups, plush blankets), relaxing entertainment (rocking, movies, Leapsters, and reading books), companions (siblings sharing bedrooms eliminate the I'm-scared-to-be-alone struggle), and the comfort of knowing that Mom & Dad are always available when they need us.

Thankfully, I now have the experience to know that babies do not have to learn to fall asleep on their own by 3 months old. Co-sleeping makes breastfeeding a newborn much easier! A crib is not a cage. Placing my baby in a crib is a great way to keep them safe (especially when older siblings and pets are around). A baby swing and a recliner are great investments for times when baby is congested and needs to be elevated to breathe (breathing is a requirement of peaceful sleep). If I start the habit of rocking my baby to sleep, I will NOT be rocking them to sleep forever. Screaming is not a requirement for learning self-soothing or for learning healthy sleep habits. Some children (Jersey #2) do not sleep for a 12 hours stretch at any point in their life....10 hours at night is Ok too. Some children (Jersey #1) can sleep through a natural disaster without waking, but other children (Jersey #3) require a fan or other white noise to keep from waking too easily. Some children (Jersey #5) can sleep anywhere...including sitting in a shopping cart....but other children (Jersey #4) prefer to sleep at home.

I love sleep. I want it to be a positive thing for my children too.

Pale & Tired

We have often joked that Jersey #2 is the cutest face of heart disease...

She is cute. She was a very pretty baby girl right from birth, and she is a very pretty girl as she continues to grow up.

Lately, this pretty face has had me troubled. She has become so pale. She is showing some darkening under those big, blue eyes. Her little body is so skinny because her heart is working so hard she is having trouble holding onto calories.

Lately, she has been having trouble keeping up with her regular activities. She has been complaining of feeling tired. She takes breaks from playing to sit a few minutes. Even though I know this behavior is expected, due to her current cardiology status, it still catches me by surprise. Jersey #2 is normally our most active child. She loves to run and dance and play, It is hard to see her sit, tired, and sunken.

It is even harder to see her break down and cry. She has had a few episodes in the past month or so, where she has just started crying for no apparent reason. We run through the list of possibilities, asking her if she is sick, or hurting, if she is worried about something, or sad....but she responds that nothing is wrong, and she doesn't know why she is crying.

Well, last night, I had a rude awakening to the source of her tears. Her poor little body is just exhausted. She tries to keep going and can't. So, the tears flow.

Last night, The Referee and I were both battling that stomach bug the kids had a couple days ago. It hit us before dinner, giving us no time to cancel our evening activities. The Referee had his Tae Kwon Do class to teach. I had to take Jersey #1 to her basketball practice that runs at the same time. I'm the Team Mom, and I had the snack roster ready to bring to practice. The Referee sat during his TKD class and let his higher belts run the activities in his place. I strapped the youngest 2 kids into the double stroller and watched basketball practice with a plastic bag in reach. We were a mess.

When we got home, I went to bed and tried to not move, in an attempt to keep my stomach from exploding. The Referee relaxed in his recliner, and let the kids lay in the living room and watch movies until they fell asleep. That is not our typical bedtime routine, but we were desperate for rest. Jersey #2 chose to lay in bed with me, instead of watch movies. She was tired, and needed sleep. Movies keep her awake. She was so exhausted and tearful, that I kept asking her if she was going to puke. I was certain that she had to be sick too.

She kept assuring me that she was not sick to her stomach. She did not know what was wrong. She just kept telling me she was so tired. I cuddled with her and rubbed her back, and watched her closely. She had such a hard time falling asleep. She was so fitful during her sleep. She was whining and crying even in her sleep. And that is when it hit me that she is doing too much, and her little body just can't handle it right now. She is too exhausted.

That day I had taken the kids to the science museum. We were all good and tired by the time we returned home. After dinner, she participated in Tae Kwon Do class too. I finally saw the connection that the days when we have such large activities going on, she has a breakdown by bed time. This did not used to be a problem, but now she is having trouble keeping up.

After talking to The Referee about my observations, we decided that we will reduce our activites to only 1 per day. On days where we have more than 1 thing scheduled, we will drop something. I am going to work on adding more down time into our days as well. Jersey #2 gave up her nap as a toddler, but I wonder if a little quiet reading time after lunch might help her rest more.

In preparation for her upcoming surgery, I was already planning to reduce activities in general. I am not signing up for anything new. I didn't want her to feel like she was being punished by being removed from her activities in order to have surgery. So, I figured letting the current activites run to completion, and then not starting new ones would simplify our schedule by May. That alone is a big transition for our family, as the kids and I are involved in many, many activities and are accustomed to spending a lot of time with friends.

It looks like now is the time to reduce our activities much, much more. On the bright side, we've got an organized house now, so it might be nice to start spending a lot more time having fun at home. Being out of the public realm more should also cut down on germ exposure. We are trying to keep her healthy through the winter, so that she is strong enough to endure surgery in May.

The cold, hard reality is that if she tries to push her body beyond her heart's capacity, the body's response will be to pass out. I'm hoping to wise up real fast, now, before anything like that ever happens! No activity is worth that risk.

Puke Bugs

Yesterday was one of those wild-n-crazy days of Motherhood. Two of my children were sick with stomach bugs, taking turns vomiting about every half hour. Every time I turned around, I had a mess to clean up and a sick little one to comfort. I accomplished very little in terms of household management, but I certainly tripled the size of the laundry pile. Ugh.

I converted the living room into an infirmary. I worked with the kids to teach them how to go to the toilet to puke. I ran a lot of warm baths (which helped with cleaning up the kids, but also helped to distract them from repeatedly asking for more to drink when their tummies needed some rest).

Jersey #3 seemed much better after a half-day of rest.

Jersey #4, on the other hand, caused me much more concern. She continued to vomit over the course of 8 hours. She was very pale. Then, she started to run a low fever. She sent me researching how long she could go on before needing to see the doctor, and what were all the signs of dehydration in a 2-year old. Had she not started to improve by bed time, I would have been making a late-night call to Granny....who is the queen of handling kids and vomit! (I personally put her through the ringers with my allergy to Ragu spaghetti sauce when I was a kid....until we figured out what I was allergic to).

Thankfully, by bedtime, this little gal was able to hold down some very dilute apple juice...

Sick children can certainly get Mommy's adrenaline flowing! I am always so thankful (and exhausted) when they regain their health.