Free

Jersey #2 is Free.

Free from heart medications. (She took her very last aspirin today).

Free from activity restrictions.

Free from complications due to her heart condition.

Free to grow.

Free to enjoy life.

Free to run and play.

Free to be a kid again.



She has come so far in just 6 months.



In May, she was here...


Now, she is here...

PRAISE GOD!

"Rump" roast

The kids helped me prepare a nice ham dinner today. My plan was to serve some for lunch, serve it for dinner, and use left-overs for packing sandwiches in our lunch for work this week. The preparation was fun. I enjoy cooking with the kids.

We sat down to a lovely lunch of chopped ham, baked beans, and corn. And milk, for those growing bones.

Jersey #1 brought up the conversation of which animal's meat we were eating. This sparked a huge discussion about which animals are used for our various meat products we eat.

Jersey #2 sent us all into a fit of laughter when she announced,

"This is the best meal ever....because I am eating a pig's butt!"

Never a dull moment...

Thankful

Pastor's sermon at church today was focused on being Thankful. It was such a treat to hear all the things that members of our church are most thankful for.

Going into the Thanksgiving holiday, followed by the biggest Christmas shopping day (Black Friday), I admit that my heart has not been focusing on being thankful. I have been focusing on being busy, and financially depleted. As we read through Psalm 100, I realized that this is one I need to memorize, to keep my attitude in check.

Just to drive the point home, we also sang "Count Your Blessings" as one of the service hymns. Yes, God, I am listening. Let my grumpy heart be changed, and a new attitude emerge.

Psalm 100

¹Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.

²Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing.

³Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

⁴Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.

⁵For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.

Count Your Blessings

Words by Johnson Oatman, Jr., 1856-1922
Music by Edwin O. Excell, 1851-1921

Verse 1

When upon life's billows You are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged Thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings Name them one by one,
And it will surprise you What the Lord hath done.

Chorus:

Count your blessings Name them one by one.
Count your blessings See what God hath done.
Count your blessings Name them one by one.
Count your many blessings See what God hath done.

Verse 2

Are you ever burdened With a load of care,
Does the cross seem heavy You are called to bear.
Count your many blessings Every doubt will fly,
And you will be singing As the days go by.

Verse 3

When you look at others With their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised You His wealth untold.
Count your many blessings Money cannot buy,
Your reward in heaven Nor your home on high.

Verse 4

So amid the conflict Whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged God is over all.
Count your many blessings Angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you To your journey's end

Piggy-Back

This is how Jersey #5 likes to sit at church....riding on The Referee's back.

Priorities

Life is busy.

The house is messy.

The stack of "important" paperwork is piling up.

I put it all aside and enjoyed a wonderful morning with my kids.

We had to get up early to take The Referee to work. We went to our homeschool co-op classes. Then, we bought lunch at the McDonald's drive-thru. Not a very typical day or meal situation, but we made the most of it and enjoyed many stories and laughs. It was a great "off" day, if I do say so myself.

A friend posted on Facebook about feeling overwhelmed. One of her friends posted a portion of a poem that caught my eye. So, I Google'd it. It really fit my day....and my priorities right now...

Song for a Fifth Child

By Ruth Hulburt Hamilton, 1958

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth

empty the dustpan, poison the moth,

hang out the washing and butter the bread,

sew on a button and make up a bed.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?

She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue

(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due

(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo

but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.

Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?

(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,

for children grow up,

as I've learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.

I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

Hot Topics: Depression

Depression is one of those illnesses that are socially uncomfortable to discuss. It reminds me a lot of the reaction to grieving. Folks just don't know what to say, and usually are not very helpful with the odd comments they come up with. Much like grieving, I find the most comfort in folks who have walked in depression footsteps before. As the saying goes, "It takes one to know one."

Unfortunately, Depression has challenged our marriage many times over.

There are many classifications of Depression. It seems that the therapy world is working to identify even more classifications, in order to specialize treatment. Working with human beings and their combination of physical and behavioral details is rather difficult. That is one reason why Depression seems so tough to conquer. I do not have any expertise in Depression. I can only share from my experiences. This post is not medical advice, as I am not a health care provider.

I'm sure that most folks understand "the blues," having a down day, or feeling slightly melancholy. I handle such days by taking a day off or taking a break from my usually busy schedule. Those are the days when ordering pizza covers dinner. I skip chores, and spend more time participating in relaxing activities. Going to bed early helps restore my mood by the next morning.

Unfortunately, I have also experienced Depression that required medical treatment. Some things require more than a day off, or a longer night's sleep.

Post-partum Depression: just over a month after giving birth to our firstborn, I started showing signs and symptoms of Post-partum Depression. The boldest symptom I had was random, unprovoked crying outbursts. I would walk across the room and just start crying, for no reason at all. I also had trouble sleeping at night. My concerns were dismissed by friends and family, because I was also grieving. So, I was assured, that it was just part of grieving. Thankfully, our family doctor knew otherwise. He understood grieving. He said I had the classic symptoms of Post-partum Depression. Thankfully, it was quickly treated with a few months of taking an antidepressant, at night, that also had a sedative side-effect. Post-partum Depression is caused by those wild hormones, and improves when the body chemistry gets back into balance.

*The difference between the grieving symptoms and the Post-partum Depression symptoms was the "random" component to the crying. During grieving, I would cry when thinking about my daughter, my experience, and my heartache. With Post-partum Depression, my body was crying on its own, without sad thoughts provoking it.

Spiritual Depression: Unfortunately, Depression is often misunderstood in Christian circles. Some folks sincerely believe depression is a matter of a lack of Faith. Their advice is to pray, and spend more time with God. Christians are suppose to understand the amazing gift of salvation we have received, so we should only have joy everlasting, right?

Most forms of Depression are related to chemical imbalances in the body. It is not a matter of Faith. It is a matter of physical health. Of course, God can heal us from all such afflictions. But, we are also stewards of these bodies and need to take care of them.

That much being said, I have also experienced a Spiritual Depression. Medical interventions may help with certain symptoms, but do not fix the core of the problem. In my case, I dove into Depression when my second pregnancy ended in an early miscarriage. I was beyond sad. I was done with grieving. I quit. I spent more time with God at that point in my life than ever before. I was in constant prayer......begging God to take me out of this world. I did not want to be a Mother who had no living children. It was way too painful for me. I thought I had served my time grieving a stillborn daughter. I could not stand to endure the grief of losing my second child to miscarriage. I lived in a very dark place, deep within me. I stayed in bed most of the time. I finally called the doctor for help, with the gentle encouraging of The Referee.

My doctor understood my need to hold a living, breathing baby in my arms. He got me. He treated me with an antidepressant that was safe enough for pregnancy. He advised me to take the med, go through the motions of my life, and not worry a bit about the med when I get pregnant again. Throughout my entire pregnancy with Jersey #1, the doctor assured me that I would be just fine as soon as that baby was in my arms. The antidepressant helped me endure the details of my life, like going to work and shopping for groceries. It helped with some of my physical symptoms. It did not restore joy. I stopped taking the antidpressant the week Jersey #1 was due. It was not safe to take for breastfeeding, so I stopped it when that bottle ran out. I knew if I needed it after her birth, the doctor could prescribe something that was safe for breastfeeding.

God restored my joy. God answered my plees to be taken Home. He said NO. Not yet. I had a greater purpose, and I needed to trust Him. So, I grudgingly went through my life, expecting to be in chronic grief. I did not instantly recover when Jersey #1 was placed in my arms. I was in shock. I did not believe she was alive. I just knew that she would be taken from me at any moment. I took her home, and took care of her every need, and braced myself for the moment I would lose her too.

I still remember the exact day that I won that spiritual battle. Jersey #1 was 4 weeks old. The Referee was at work, and I was still home on maternity leave. I looked over at that precious baby girl, napping peacefully on the bed next to me. I was hit, like a ton of bricks, with the realization that Motherhood was a calling, a RESPONSIBILITY. Not only was I given this blessing, but I was expected to follow God's instructions to train her up in the way she should go....to teach her about God and his love for us. My life was instantly changed. My heart was instantly changed. My attitude was instantly improved.

In that instant, my heart was full. Full of love. Full of purpose. Full of joy.

Thankfully, I have not suffered with Depression since.

Unfortunately, I still suffer from Depression...

The Referee battles Depression. His symptoms seemed so very different from my experiences, that we missed it for years. Sadly, the last 3 years of our life together have been most awful. We could not figure out why none of the marriage resources we sought, were helping our relationship. The Referee was suffering with undiagnosed depression, and we just did not recognize it. A year ago, when I was certain that all hope was lost for our marriage, a friend gently asked if my husband had ever been evaluated for a "chemical imbalance." She gently commented that the symptoms of depression were different in men and women. She explained that a missionary who had visited our church that summer taught her the difference, when he shared about his own battle with depression. I made the suggestion to The Referee in passing, as I was taking the baby to change his diaper. Minutes later, The Referee told me that he took the suggestion and went online to research it more. He took a quiz about depression on one of the medical websites, and after 4 questions it flashed a screen saying he should seek medical attention immediately. Yikes.

That evening, we called our Pastor & his wife over to meet with us. They explained all they understood about depression, and more about the advice of the missionary who visited. They armed us with prayers, support, and resources. For the first time in many years, we actually felt a sense of relief about the strains in our marriage. We had turned over every stone between us, so it made sense that our problem was actually outside us. It is crazy how comforting that piece of information can be.

Unfortunately, The Referee's depression battle is H.U.G.E. Thankfully, he is determined to conquer it. He desires to be healthy, and to have a healthy family. So, he is doing all he can to win. He has an incredible support network on his side. Our family physician is managing the antidepressant medications. A Christian counselor/life coach is providing therapy, literature resources, and guidance. Our Pastor & his wife are practically holding our hands each step of the way. Friends, family, and our church family continue to offer prayers and support as well. The path is uphill, but it is certainly easier to hike in a group, than alone.

The Referee suffers with Double Depression. (I tease him that he is such an over-achiever that one type of depression is just not enough for him).

Dysthymia is chronic depression. The symptoms are less severe, but linger longer. Folks can usually function adequately, but they always seem unhappy. The counselor suggested that The Referee has probably been suffering with dysthymia since adolescence. It certainly explains a lot. Dysthymia is thought to be caused by chemical changes in the brain involving serotonin, a neurotransmitter that aids in coping with emotions. Antidepressant medication in the SSRI category (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) have helped tremendously. The Referee shocked me one day, after taking the meds, when he announced that he didn't think he was actually a pessimist! That was life changing, for sure.

Major Depression (Clinical Depression): The Dysthymia was identified after The Referee sought treatment for his Major Depression. Unfortunately, Dysthymia complicates Clinical Depression, because when life resumes to "normal," that "normal" is still low. Men express depression differently than women. Some of the Depression symptoms that The Referee has expressed are fatigue, low mood state, grumpy/unhappy, withdrawal and isolation, angry outbursts, and insomnia. I now see clearly that when he starts to have insomnia....staying up all night, or gets very little sleep for multiple nights in a row, he is on a downhill turn in his depression. The withdrawal and angry outbursts have been most damaging to our marriage. The behavior itself is bad enough, but the fact that it is so random, irrational, and out-of-character, has been most damaging. Being married to a man who appears randomly angry and periodically acts like he doesn't really care, is quite tough on a sensitive gal like me. I started to question which of his changing views about me were actually the truth. Now that my eyes are open to his Depression illness, I am able to see that things really aren't has personal as they once appeared. Now that The Referee realizes that those symptoms are related to his Depression, he is much more careful to turn to Depression help, instead of taking his emotions out on me.

We have noticed that The Referee appears to have episodes of Major Depression due to job stress. Job lay-offs, and the instability of some of the funding of his jobs has been a major source of stress for him for years. Some situations cannot be prevented. But, now that we realize how important it is for him to identify himself with his career, The Referee is being much wiser in his career path and employer selections. I am pleased to report that it looks like he chose a good company recently, resulting in his work situation starting to stabilize. I predict that as he settles into a stable job, his stress will begin to decrease, hopefully helping his depression become more manageable.

Managing Double Depression requires a lifestyle change. The Referee has to set strict boundaries for himself for a sleep routine, and making sure he is eating regularly. Daily exercise is very helpful. He makes himself go through the motions of things he knows is important in his life, even if he doesn't feel like it. He gets up and showers, goes to work, goes to church, teaches Tae Kwon Do class, and participates in family activities, whether he wants to or not. Emotions can be deceiving. So, he is learning that moving forward through the tasks that are previously deemed important, helps him stay afloat. He is also learning to give himself regular breaks to withdrawal. Right now, he gets an evening off, when I take the kids to AWANA, where he has no responsibilities for a few hours.

Finding the right balance of medications and therapy is a great challenge when battling depression. There are many classes of meds. There are many types of therapy. There are tons of books and websites filled with information. It can be overwhelming. But, finding something to help with the battle is SO much better than doing nothing at all. In addition to finding a medical provider and counselor you trust, finding a friend who has walked through the valley of depression can make a world of difference in the support you need to win the battle.

For the sake of yourself and your loved ones, I beg you to seek help if you suffer with Depression. Ignore the comments from people who know nothing about the illness. Find support from folks who do know. There is hope. Life really is better outside of the pit of despair.

Duh!

We have had some pretty complicated conversations with Jersey #4 lately...


As we are walking across a store parking lot, holding hands...

Me: "I noticed you have been really quiet today, Jersey #4. Why is that?"



Jersey #4: "Because I don't have anything to say."


Well, that was a short conversation. We sure have that Mommy-daughter bonding thing down.


Jersey #4 walks through the living room stark naked, carrying her clothes toward the hamper in the kitchen. She was suppose to be getting dressed in her PJs for bedtime.

The Referee: "Jersey #4, why are you naked?"



Jersey #4: "Because I took my clothes off."

Well, Duh!

Little Warriors

Our 3 Little Warriors tested for their next ranks in Tae Kwon Do class tonight. They all did great.

Jersey #3 earned his yellow belt.

Jersey #2 earned her blue stripe.

Jersey #1 earned her first red stripe.

We treated them to new uniforms just in time for their test. They were out-growing their old uniforms. Plus, there were some cool color options available.

Jersey #2 took a hit to the middle of her chest during a sparring match that caused The Referee and I to both gasp. She said it hurt. But, she is doing well. I have to keep reminding myself that her cardiologist assured us her sternum is as strong as it is ever going to be. She is cleared to participate in Tae Kwon Do, as well as any other sport or activity. Since Tae Kwon Do is such a big family tradition for The Referee's family, we do not want her to miss out on it. But, such injuries worry us anyway.


Here is a photo of the proud Daddy, who also happens to be their instructor...

Jury Duty Strikes Again

I was required to report for jury duty this morning.

I did not have a good attitude about it at all. For starters, I had already filled out the paperwork to be exempt, when the summons first arrived. I have already served on Grand Jury this year, so I was suppose to be exempt for 2 years. Instead, I was repeatedly called by the automated message system, telling me to report. I attempted to contact the juror office, and could not find a living human being to speak to. My phone messages were not returned at all.

I did not get home from work until 1am. I had to report for jury duty by 7:45am. That is not enough sleep. I do not appreciate sleep deprivation.

The Referee had to coordinate working from home, on his new job, so that he could be home with the kids. We had no idea if this was going to be for the morning, or for the day, or what was at stake in our schedule. I have to work at 4pm, so I feared if I was stuck there all day, I would be late for my new job. Does jury duty leave even cover 2nd shift? It was all a big mess.

At 8am, I learned that there were only 3 reasons a person could be excused from jury duty at this point, but I did not fit any of them. I am younger than 70 years old, and I was not active duty military. I forget the 3rd reason, but it did not apply.

I was informed that my prior Grand Jury service did not qualify me for exemption, because it was a STATE Grand Jury, and this trial jury service was FEDERAL. Really? There are categories set up that can make me have to participate in jury duty for nearly half of the same year like this?

At this point in the process, I was considered part of a jury panel. A trial was scheduled. We had to go before the judge and attorneys for jury selection for this specific trial. Only the judge could dismiss me now.

I was quick to raise my hand when the judge asked if serving the next 3 days on a jury would be a burden for anyone. Me! Me! Yes, it is a burden for Me!

I explained to the judge that I was the primary educator of my children, as we homeschool. The state stipulates that only parents or legal guardians can homeschool. So, in order for me to attend jury duty, my husband would have to be home with the children. He just started a brand new job, and has no leave.

The judge asked me if I could re-arrange my schedule and school during off-peak hours? Really? Should I re-arrange my homeschool schedule so that I can then hire a babysitter while I go to jury duty? Childcare costs are not reimbursed by the court. Instead of saying those thoughts that were on my mind, I respectfully replied that I also started working a new job, and I work 2nd shift. I explained that I am usually sleeping early in the morning, instead of reporting for court. The judge nodded in agreement and answered, "I see."

Thankfully, the judge really did "see" my burden. I was not selected for the jury. I was dismissed by 11am, giving The Referee a chance to return to work for the afternoon.

Church Service Blessings

Today, one of the children's Sunday School classes provided the praise and worship music during the morning worship service at church. Jersey #1 and Jersey #2 were part of this group. Jersey #2 sang at top volume. The kids also took turns reciting Bible verses between songs. It was beautiful.

I smiled.

I cried.

I took pictures.

I thanked God for such a blessing and an answer to prayer.


When Jersey #1 was only a preschooler, I admired some of the musically-talented families in church, and loved the ways they were able to praise God with their talents. I have no musical talent whatsoever. But, I wanted my children to have the experience of standing before the church congregation, and sharing music in praise to God. Just in case any of the kids end up having some sort of musical talent, I wanted them to at least have the comfort of knowing how to share that talent. There was no way they were going to learn from example from me. I worried about how my lack of ability might hinder my kids from being able to share their potential ability. God fills in where I fall short.

Once again, the desires of my heart were given to me.

The Sunday school teacher decided to have the children learn some praise songs and perform them for the church. It was her idea. She coordinated the entire thing. She had no idea this was a desire of mine, from at least 5 years ago.

For a few months now, the children have been practicing their Bible verses and songs. We play the CD every time we are in the car. They sing to the top of their lungs. I love it.

Today was the big day. The entire class stood before the church and sang. It was beautiful.

My heart is overflowing with joy at this wonderful gift I have been given.

More Dental Photos

And, for the record, the big kids went to the dentist too...

Jersey #1 is a pro. Except that whole x-ray thing. She has a very strong gag reflex, which makes x-rays a challenge.

Jersey #4 was not going to participate at first. But, after watching her big sister, Jersey #2 make it look like fun, she decided she wanted to get her teeth cleaned too. She also wanted to wear the cool sunglasses...

Jersey #3 cooperates, and then he doesn't. Poor kid. He is over-sensitive, and perceives any strange sensation as pain. He kept wiggling and saying "ouch" when the hygienist was only polishing his teeth. He also breathes through is mouth, which makes dental visits adventurous...

Jersey #2 brings the party with her....even to the dentist. She fully cooperated, inspired her younger siblings, overcame her gag reflex well enough to get x-rays, and also cooperated for a full-mouth panoramic x-ray (now that her 6-year molars are all in).

First Dental Visit

Jersey #5 had his first dental visit this week. He has accompanied his older siblings before, but this was his first visit where his teeth were cleaned and examined too.

Big brother, Jersey #3, showed him how it works. Jersey #5 was more interested in assisting the hygienist with his brother, than participating in his own care.

He gladly accepted a new toothbrush, and decided to take that Big Chair for a spin...

The chair was better used as a jungle gym...

When the time came for his cleaning, he preferred Mommy's lap over the chair...

Much to my surprise, he actually participated in a full cleaning and fluoride treatment...

He is very possessive of that new toothbrush. He shows it off to everyone in the family and says, "MINE."

It Works For Me: Cereal Mix

Cereal Mix is one of my favorite kid snacks, for our busy, on-the-go family.

I buy 2 different bulk boxes of cereal: one box is sugary-sweet, and one box is usually something "healthier" (as far as boxed cereal can be considered healthy).

I then take a bag out of each bulk box and pour half of each bag into a gallon-sized zippered storage bag (or my plastic cereal container).

After the two types of cereal are added, I zip the storage bag and shake to mix up the cereals into a blend.

Cereal for breakfast consists of this blend.

Cereal divided into little snack baggies make great breakfast or snacks on the road.

Cereal blend works as an easy toddler snack.

A gallon-sized bag of cereal mix makes a great snack for kid classrooms and activities when it is our day to bring snack.

The cereal blend can be easily adjusted to resemble more of a trail mix, with nuts, M&Ms, coconut, pretzels, raisins, or granola.

Hot Topics: Vaccines

When I was a kid, I do not recall childhood vaccines being much of a hot topic. They seemed standard issue. I only knew of a few families in school who chose to not vaccinate, usually based on religious practice. I did not notice any problems with either side of the topic.

Now that I am raising my own children, I see all kinds of issues being exposed in the vaccination debate. There are so many advantages to vaccines, and so many concerns about them, that it is enough to make a parent's head spin.

Scientifically, I think vaccines are one of the most amazing medical discoveries of all time. I find immunology to be fascinating anyway. So, a means to combat virus attack, is just awesome.

Unfortunately, some of the business practices and ethics in developing the vaccines has been called into question, especially in recent years. Parents are starting to question if all of these vaccines are even necessary. Unethical research practices have damaged trust in the companies who manufacture the vaccines. The marketing tactics cause us to question if the government thinks vaccines are a public health benefit, or just a money-making business? With the increased focus on allergies, the contents and side effects of vaccines are being questioned.

From a public health standpoint, vaccinations are a wonderful thing to the health and well-being of the public at large. They prevent the spread of deadly viruses across the masses. Public health looks at a benefit versus cost comparison. The benefit is the number of lives protected/saved, compared to death by disease. The cost is the number of lives harmed or lost by side effects of the vaccine. From a public health standpoint, the benefits of the vaccines are huge for the majority of the population. The negative outcomes of vaccines affect only a small minority of the population.

Parents do not always appreciate recommendations from a public health standpoint. I for one, find those statistics to be very frustrating when I am trying to figure out what is the best medical choice for our family. Even though negative outcomes are low for the public at large, if those negative outcomes are happening to MY family, they are HUGE!

For the most part, the vaccine debate appears to be centered around public health versus family health. Some families do not want to risk any negative outcomes, regardless of what is best for the general public. Folks pushing for the best public health outcome, seldom respect the position of families who are looking at their own specific situation first.

I respect both ends of the polarized debate, and I am thankful for the freedom to make informed decisions. I see where folks are getting their information and why they are choosing the side they are on. I just don't agree much.

I really do not understand how folks can dismiss the benefits of the Pertussis or Polio vaccines. There are people who are not quite to retirement age who live with paralysis or crippling due to polio. Its damaging effects are still active in our communities. The Referee and I have had a mild case of Whooping Cough (Pertussis), and I would not wish that on anyone. It was so awful and ruined more than 6 weeks of our life. The fever and coughing eliminated my ability to breastfeed Jersey #4, so she weaned much younger than desired. The Referee had his work ethic called into question, as he was missing work and not performing well during that time. It is hard to look professional when you are coughing and miserable like that. I can completely understand why infants die from that disease, as you cough so deeply that you stop breathing and can't catch a breath. It is a scary feeling. I was not certain we would survive.....and that was the *mild* case. I thank God that my children were vaccinated against Whooping Cough at the time that it hit our household. Thankfully, they remained healthy.

I do not think there is a need for a Chicken Pox vaccine. That vaccine appears to have been created so that parents would not have to be inconvenienced/home from work because their children are home sick for the week it takes to endure the disease. There have been so many complications with that vaccine. Now, there is an increase in the number of folks fighting Shingles, which comes from the same virus. It seems we have just traded a childhood illness for an elderly adulthood version.

The new Rotavirus vaccine is another one that strikes me as bizarre. Rota virus causes some nasty diarrhea that in turn causes profound dehydration. It is one of the common reasons infants and toddlers are hospitalized. From a public health standpoint, it makes sense to vaccinate against it and cut down on the need for so much hospital care. From a family standpoint, if I am home, caring for my own children, then I have the ability to assess my child's hydration needs, in addition to needs for baths, cuddling, and rest. It seems unnecessary to put my child through the risks of vaccine side effects (which an older version of the vaccine had a pretty dangerous one of twisting the bowels, so it was removed from the market), for an illness that simply requires focused mothering until the body can fight it off.

The feud about whether or not vaccines cause autism is a big one. The number of recommended childhood vaccines have greatly increased in the past couple decades. The number of children diagnosed with autism has simultaneously increased. Some parents are adamant that their child did not start exhibiting autism traits until vaccines were administered. Research studies continue to report that there is no link. So, the heated debate continues.

One of the things that I appreciate most about the vaccine/autism debate is that it is getting a lot of attention. Parents are becoming more aware of the business practice of vaccinations, and are starting to study and research the vaccine benefits, costs, and contents. I am hoping that the autism voices will one day grow loud enough to encourage alternate vaccine options. The specific vaccine in question in the autism debate is the MMR vaccine (measles, mumps, rubella). I personally, would like to have an ethical alternative to this exact vaccine.

The R (rubella) portion of the MMR vaccine is derived from the cell line of aborted babies. This practice goes against my core values. Abortion is murder of an innocent life. I value life. As much as I appreciate the benefits of vaccinations, I cannot support giving my children a vaccine that involved the murder of other children.

I would like to vaccinate my children against measles, as that is another big disease that I would like to prevent. I am on the fence about Mumps. I am not convinced the Rubella vaccine is necessary, and I certainly despise its unethical origin. Unfortunately, the company who produces the MMR vaccine in the USA does not currently sell the 3 parts individually. It is all or nothing. Plus, they are increasing marketing 4 parts to that vaccine, by including the Chicken Pox vaccine with it. (Right now, it is still possible to get the Chicken pox version separate).

It is the unethical practice of using cell lines from aborted babies that helps me understand and respect families who choose alternative vaccination schedules, or even refuse to vaccinate at all. It is wrong that my pro-life value is trampled in order to protect the health of my children. The Rubella vaccine, the Chicken Pox vaccine (Vericella), and the Hepatitis A vaccine are all derived from cell lines of aborted babies. So, I want nothing to do with those vaccines. In addition, I have lost respect and trust for the developers and manufacturers of those vaccines, which makes me want to question any other vaccine they offer. So, I am hoping that the autism advocates will create a big enough voice to force the vaccine company to make some changes....hopefully in a more ethical direction.

Every family is different in their values and priorities for their health. The Referee and I laugh at ourselves for the ways our choices have changed through the years, based on the needs of our family. Prior to Jersey #2's birth, neither of us had ever received a flu shot, and neither of us had ever had the flu. Our family rolled up our sleeves, and immediately took a flu shot that winter...when our family physician recommended it....as a means to help prevent Jersey #2 from catching the flu while she was also recovering from her first open-heart surgery. We made certain to get a flu shot every year, at the start of the winter, to help give her some "herd" protection.

Two years ago, Jersey #2 and Jersey #4 both caught the flu, in spite of our vaccine efforts. Healthy Jersey #4 progressed through the flu illness at the textbook rate. Jersey #2, on the other hand, gave us quite a scare that the flu could take her life. She kept a fever longer. She fought the upper respiratory symptoms longer. She dropped 10% of her body weight. I took her to see a doctor 3 times during that 1 illness. It was a scary experience, that clarified exactly why her medical team did not want her to catch the flu. We did not regret a single flu vaccine.

When the H1N1 (swine) flu took the world by media storm, I was really torn about whether or not to trust that vaccine. Thankfully, I did not have to make a choice in the matter. The virus reached our state long before the vaccine did....and then it swept through our family like wildfire. Thankfully, it was a very mild form of the flu. It was no where near as difficult to endure as the seasonal flu the girls had experienced a couple years prior. Since Jersey #2 was facing her next open-heart surgery, we did take the risk of giving her the Tamiflu antivirulent after her first symptoms emerged. The irony is that after questioning the safety of the vaccine, we turned around and readily tried the experimental antivirulent medication for her. (Yes, parenting is full of tough choices). The medicine worked wonders, and her flu experience was much easier than the rest of the family, and tremendously better than her past illness.

With her new, fully-functioning heart valve, Jersey #2 is no longer in the high-risk category for flu complications. This year is the first year of her life where our family can pass on the seasonal flu vaccine. It is a wonderful milestone. It is also temporary, so our choices will change as that valve wears out.

Looking at the great vaccine debate, I can take sides with both sides: I am in awe of the miraculous power of vaccines to fight viruses and keep our population alive. Yet, one of the greatest privelages of being a healthy individual is to be able to choose to decline recommended vaccines, and trust our body's immune system to go to work for us instead.

SMILE

I absolutely adore this stage of childhood: mismatched grins.

The sporadic fun appears with the loss of that first baby tooth, usually somewhere in kindergarten. From there, it is a roller coaster of dental fun....teeth fall out...teeth grow in.

Those permanent teeth are so much bigger than the baby teeth too. At first, it is a shocking sight to see.

The missing two front teeth are my favorite. I love to see those smiles. I love to hear the sound of the air passing through the empty space as the kids talk. I find this whole phase to be quite entertaining.

Down the road, I know it will be important for the kids to have a nice full smile of straight teeth. Braces will most likely be necessary to accomplish this goal.

But for now, I am totally enjoying this time where missing teeth and mangled smiles are C.U.T.E!

Public Service Announcement: E. coli

Two months ago, I started working a med tech job at a clinical laboratory. I trained on the urine bench. I like my job. I find microbiology to be fascinating...and gross...at the same time.

The urine bench is where urine cultures are processed. Patients provide a urine sample (pee in a cup) to their healthcare provider. A quick, dip-stick test can detect the presence of bacteria in the urine sample. If bacteria are present, the urine can be plated for further testing. Plating consists of streaking the urine onto a petri dish that contains the agar that nourishes the bacteria and encourages its growth. The plates are incubated at body temperature for a day, giving the bacteria time to grow.

My job is the next part of the process. I receive urine culture plates and have to screen them for growth. I report if there is no growth at all. I report if the growth on the plate looks like normal flora....the normal bacteria found in the human body, which is typically in low levels and balanced proportions. I report if the plate is contaminated with many different organisms...which is typically caused by not following the collection procedures for a "clean catch." I report the quantity and description of any bacteria I see growing on the plate.

It is important to identify the bacteria that is invading a person's urinary tract, and to also determine which antibiotics will treat it. Thankfully, there is a big, fancy machine that does that part. My job is to set up some colonies, from a pure culture of bacteria, into a tube of broth for the machine to use. When the machine has completed its task, I then double check its work and finalize the report.

It did not take me long to realize that one-third of my job duties can be eliminated by better hygiene practices on the part of the public at large.

So, I would like to make this Public Service Announcement:

Ladies, please wipe from front to back!

It may sound silly, but it is really important. Let's be careful to teach this to our daughters, so that they will follow this instruction too.

One of the most "popular" bacteria growing on the urine culture plates is E. coli (Escherichia coli). E. coli is a common bacteria in our digestive tracts. It is found in feces.

Wiping from back to front brings fecal material toward the opening of the urinary tract. So, it is easy for the bacteria to get into the tract, set up shop, and go to work causing painful infection.

Always wipe from a cleaner area toward a dirtier area.

So, wipe from urinary opening toward fecal opening (vagina toward anus).

Such a simple, hygiene practice would greatly reduce the number of bacterial infections in the urinary tract.

*These images of E. coli growing on petri dish plates were borrowed via the internet from:
Wikipedia and Scienceprofonline.

Blessed and Thankful

I am most thankful for my children.

I am blessed with 5 children here on Earth, and 2 children in Heaven.

These children have clarified my priorities.

These children have altered the course of my life.

These children have shaped my character and my values.

These children make me laugh.

These children test my patience.

These children exhaust me.

These children make my days rather unpredictable.

These children bring me joy.

I am so blessed.

I am so thankful.

I thank God for the privilege of being the mother of these children.

Busy

Life is busy right now.

Very busy.

Friday was a whirlwind, and today does not look much better...

Friday:

• Take The Referee to work (because his car is still not running).
• Homeschool Co-op classes in the morning (I teach the 2-year old class)
• Picnic lunch and park day after class (clothing exchange and jog-a-thon included)
  
• Drop off dental prescription at the pharmacy, with new insurance card (it took me 3 days to get to the pharmacy!)
• Stop by the house to bring in the farm co-op delivery and use the restroom
  
• Pick up The Referee from work
• Drive Home (again).
• Run through the house, changing clothes and packing my dinner.
• Go to work

Saturday

• Attempt to sleep 8 hours
• Complete a few cuddles with the kids, a few chores, and a few emails, while The Referee is away at the men's prayer breakfast at church.
• Thankful The Referee picked up my dental prescription from the pharmacy!
  
• Take Jersey #1 and her friend to work at the AWANA fundraiser for a couple hours
• Return home
• Change clothes and pack dinner
• Go to work

The good news about all this busy-ness is that it is not crisis! We chose these activities.

I am blessed to be busy by choice this weekend.

And I am grateful to be setting the clocks back and hour tonight. I could use an extra hour to help me manage this busy weekend.

Outtakes

In the midst of every attempt to capture a great family photo, come memories and images that are not-so-perfect.

Absolutely hilarious (to me).

But certainly imperfect. Because, that is exactly how we are...

2-year olds can be SO cooperative...

Attempting a "couple" shot is not so easy when Jersey #2 is accustomed to the spotlight...

We are not sure why Jersey #4 stood frozen, like a robot, for many of the pictures. This one was snapped right after I told her that she could relax, and did not have to freeze for pictures...

Did I mention that Jersey #2 likes the spotlight?

It Works For Me: Junior Babysitters

I love sleep.

I am one of those folks who require at least 8 hours of sleep to fully function. Actually 8.5 hours is my ideal. If I could pick, I would sleep from 11pm to 7:30am. That would be a perfect sleep schedule for me. Perfect seldom happens in my life.

Motherhood has taught me that I really can function on less sleep, if the priority is great enough. Well, of course, caring for my babies is a great enough reason to get less sleep. I have experienced various levels of sleep deprivation due to newborns and sick kids through the years.

So, I thought that I could manage on less sleep due to my new job. It would only be a couple hours less on the nights I was working. So, I figured it would be Ok. I could still function.

Wrong.

The first Friday night I worked late, I had big plans for the following Saturday. I attempted to get only 6 hours of sleep, and then go about my busy day. It did not work. I ended up with a monstrous headache. It took me 2 days to recover from that headache.

Considering the job was suppose to enhance our life, not hinder it, I needed a new plan. There is no way I am going to function with headaches from lack of sleep.

This week, I decided to try setting an alarm to wake me up 8 hours after I go to bed, regardless of the time. It is working great to get 8 hours of sleep a night (sometimes still interrupted by the kids). I am feeling better physically with that system.

A big challenge is to alter our family's schedule to allow me to get enough sleep to function. When I work Friday & Saturday evenings, The Referee is home the following days to manage the morning routine with the kids. When I work Sunday and Monday evenings, The Referee leaves for work early the following mornings.

I needed a solution to be able to sleep in a little longer on Monday & Tuesday mornings, even though the children would be awake and ready to tackle the day. As I weighed out my need for sleep, versus my responsibilities, an idea emerged...

Junior Babysitters

The older 3 kids are already fully capable of preparing bowls of cereal or frozen waffles for breakfast. The older 4 kids can operate cartoons on Netflix. My bed-wetters can already manage changing from Pull-ups to underwear first thing the morning. Everyone can brush their own teeth. For the most part, I only supervise the morning routine.

So, I decided to enlist the help of my older kids to allow me to sleep longer in the mornings. Older kids are often a great help with younger siblings. In moderation, helping with younger siblings teaches older siblings how to care for others, and basic parenting skills. In excess, being dumped with care of younger siblings can lead to much resentment.

I do not want my older girls to resent caregiving tasks. My solution is to pay them for babysitting. Those 2 mornings, Jersey #1 and Jersey #2 are responsible for serving their youngest two siblings breakfast, including milk to drink, and helping them clear their spots at the table when the meal is over. (Jersey #3 is responsible for himself). They watch their younger siblings to make sure they are staying safe. In return, they receive extra pay in their weekly allowance/commission.

Since they admire the teens that we hire for occasional babysitting, they are thrilled at their new "Junior Babysitter" role. Jersey #3 is proud to be independent in this scenario. Jersey #2 is more thrilled by the increase in pay. Jersey #1 likes the slower-paced mornings, since we also adjusted our school day to start later.

I am amazed by how well this system is working. I am able to sleep in an extra hour or two those mornings, to get the sleep I need. The kids enjoy their relaxed mornings. (Our house is already kid-friendly, so they have free roam indoors.) So far, I have only been woken due to Jersey #5's soiled diaper status. I wake refreshed and ready to tackle the day. The kids greet me with pride of their job well done.

What a team!

Hot Topics: Halloween

Do you "do" Halloween?

I had to stifle a laugh when I was asked this question at AWANA last week. It just came across as funny to me at the time. But, I fully understood the deeper message written in the simple question.

Halloween is a tough holiday for Christian families.

There are so many ways to have fun. Kids love candy and dressing up in costumes. Many Americanized Halloween traditions involve kid-friendly activities.

But, historically, Halloween is a dark, pagan holiday. Its roots are not kid-friendly.

Sincere Christians are divided on how to handle Halloween. I understand their struggle. Is it Ok to participate in the fun? Or should we be turning away from the evil-rooted holiday entirely? I have heard excellent, intelligent, Biblical teachings on this topic, which landed across the spectrum. I appreciate the churches who hold community outreaches on Halloween...for the safety of the children...and also because of the way that they shine the love of Christ on such a dark date. I completely respect the differing decisions my friends have made for their own families on this subject. I certainly do not have the answer.

A few years ago, I really struggled with what to teach my own children about Halloween, and how to participate...or not. I want to live a life that is honoring to God. So, of course, I do not want to celebrate evil.

All of the Halloween traditions I experienced as a child centered on the kid-friendly activities. To denounce that for my own children, seemed to only punish the children. Adults don't care if we miss getting to dress up, go to parties, or receive candy that day. How do I explain to my own children that Halloween is such an evil holiday, when all they see are pumpkins and candy?

I did not have the answers. So, I decided to just start with honesty.

When Jersey #1 was 6 years old, and Jersey #2 was 5, I explained to them that Halloween was not a Christian holiday. I told them about some of the traditions I enjoyed as a kid (which were some of the same they had enjoyed in previous years). I explained some of the darker traditions that they had not experienced, and some of the original history behind Halloween. Jersey #1 listened intently to all that I was saying. Then, in a single sentence, she summed up what became our family's approach to Halloween...

"Mom, we don't worship those evil things. We are just a family who likes candy."


Now, why didn't I think of that? Things are so much clearer through the eyes of a child. Jersey #1 boldly shared her new Halloween knowledge with total strangers. While waiting for an oil change for our vehicle, she informed a man that Halloween was not a Christian holiday. This man...who obviously knew exactly what she was saying...did not skip a beat. He answered her frankly, "No, it is not. But, you can still do fun things that are not evil." She smiled in return and said, "Yes, like eating a lot of candy."

Thanks to that wise, sweet 6-year old, I am now at peace with how our family handles Halloween.

We certainly "do" Halloween...

My goal is to give my children the knowledge that God's ways are better than what the rest of the world has to offer.

We do not live in darkness on Halloween.

We buy pumpkins from fundraisers that support Christian ministries, taking the time to discuss what each ministry is doing for the community...

We spend time together as a family, decorating and carving pumpkins, because time together is so important to build healthy, strong relationships...
(there is even a nice lesson about how we are like a pumpkin: God picks us up, cleans out our sins, and sets us up to shine light into the world)

This year, we delivered jack-o-lantern pizzas to some elderly folks in our church, to bring them a meal and check on their health and well-being...

The kids dressed up in bright, fun costumes and went to a trunk-or-treat carnival event at a nearby church. They were able to dress up, play games, eat candy, and enjoy fellowship with other Christians in our community...

In the end, what I have learned about life so far, is that Christians can share the love of Christ any day of the year, regardless of how the dates on the calendar are classified by the world...

We choose to live a life full of Christian traditions.

We also enjoy celebrating secular holidays...even ones that may have dark histories.

We do not worship evil things. Our children know the difference.

And, yes, we are a family that likes candy!

Election Day 2010

Good Morning. It's time to vote! The 1st Tuesday in November: Voting Day in the USA.

I voted.

I make a point to study up and vote in every election. That is a hard-fought freedom in this country, that I do not want to lose.

It is easy to become negative about elections. Many folks look forward to the election just to put an end to those annoying political advertisements on the radio and television. The amount of junk mail that has filled my mailbox has doubled in the past month, due to all those political flyers, letters, and postcards. To be honest, I find it weird that the flood of information about the candidates comes out in the last month, when money (or the lack of) has already reduced the number of candidates on the ballot.

I would prefer more options on the ballot, and less junk in the mail and on TV.

Regardless of the many faults that can always be found in the system, I still think it is important to exercise our right (and privilege) to vote for the candidate we think would be the best fit for the job.

We take our children with us when we vote. I want them to learn the process when they are young, so that they are not overwhelmed by the unknown when they are grown. More importantly, I want them to understand that I value my freedom to vote. I hope they will learn from my example and also value their freedoms.

The actual activity of taking children to a polling place is a challenge. It is important that I am already familiar with the ballot and its contents before I show up, because children will prove to be a distraction. I explain to the children that the "voting place" is a lot like a library. They need to be quiet so that everyone can concentrate on what they are reading. The Referee tends to hold the least cooperative child (usually the youngest), and I tend to take the remaining children with me and explain the process along the way.

Most of the polling places are staffed by elderly volunteers. I find that generation tends to ADORE children. Our children are often given candy lollipops or stickers, which just add to the fun of going with Mom & Dad to vote. They are complimented up one side and down the other.

This time around, I am glad that the volunteer was sitting in a chair when we approached. She first saw me and 3 kids walk up to the doorway, and she struck up conversation about how blessed I am. She continued to talk and talk about the kids, making me wonder if I was suppose to continue standing there until she directed me, or "seat" myself to fill out the ballot. A 4th child joined us, and her eyes widened. She was in mid-sentence telling me that she could not have handled 3 kids. So, when The Referee joined us in line, with Jersey #5, the volunteer put her hand to her chest, leaned back in her chair, and took a big gasping breath. For a split second, I thought she might be having a heart attack. It turns out, she is just dramatic. For a woman who claimed she could not have handled 3 children of her own, she sure delighted in our 5. She blessed us with comments about how wonderful it was that we had so many children, and how we were going to get to spend all our money on grandchildren in a few decades. Her smile as she shared her thoughts, lit up the room. Clearly, we were speaking to a woman who enjoyed being a grandmother.

Realizing that this woman was not going to stop talking, another volunteer approached to encourage her to let us enter the room with the tables. I scanned the room and found a "booth" at the end of an aisle, where the children could sit on the floor next to me while I voted, without taking up the space of another booth. I instructed them to sit down quietly while I voted. The Referee sat at the booth next to me, with Jersey #5 in his lap. Jersey #5 proceeded to distract us with his attempts at exploring the polling location.

He almost triggered the mechanism to fold up one of the portable booths, but one of the volunteers caught him in time. That man was so amused by Jersey #5. He commented to me that Jersey #5 must be my "rebellious one." He could not contain his chuckle. I am always so intrigued by men who enjoy the antics of little boys. It is as if they remember some of the "trouble" they used to cause, or something, and it brings them joy to see it in another child.

We filled out our ballots and let the kids watch us feed them into the tally machine. Then, we waved to all the volunteers and thanked them as we left.

I used to stress about the outcome of the elections. I wanted my candidates to win. I used to feel a sense of impending doom if an opposing candidate won instead. I used to stress about what consequences would result. It has been real easy to get discouraged about the operations of the government in recent years. My entire perspective changed after a specific sermon from our Pastor. He reminded us that God is in control. He is fully capable of changing the hearts of our government officials. I have a visual image of God's ability to turn the hearts and focus of the government as easily as turning a hand palm-side up or palm-side down, through the air.

So, now, I focus only on the part that I can control.....and I rest knowing that God is in control.

I educate myself on the candidates and issues. I exercise my right to vote in each election. I pray for discernment. I vote my values. I vote with confidence.

I proudly exit the polling location...

appreciating that I am a free American...

influencing the government with my values...

knowing that I do not have to depend on the government to make my life better, because God is on the throne!

NaBloPoMo

I actually have a handful of writer friends, so I was vaguely aware that November is a BIG month for writing.

It is National Novel Writing Month. People push themselves to write-write-write, with the goal to complete a novel in one month. How cool is that?!?!

I did not realize that there is a similar encouragement for blog writers too. It was mentioned on a friend's blog, and I had to go Google it to learn what it was:

NaBloPoMo: National Blog Post Month. Write a blog post every day for a month. You can sign up on the NaBloPoMo website, and possibly win prizes for participating.

I am actually intrigued by the whole thing.

I used to write blog posts 5-6 days a week. Then, I started working outside the home...and life got real crazy real fast. My blog posts were barely arriving a week apart. I attempted, a few times, to get back on track. I always fell off the track. Now, that life is mellowing out a bit, I am hoping to get back into posting, because I certainly enjoy the writing.

So, I wonder, if NaBloPoMo might be just the thing to encourage me to get back in the swing of blogging again....

If I understand correctly, one of the rules is to post daily. I sometimes like to write in advance when I have a chunk of time, then schedule posts into the future. I think I am going to try more of a "daily thoughts" this month, and see how it goes. That will be new to me. It reminds me of journaling. But, it will also allow me to get these family memories in type, instead of just being in my head.

This sounds like fun to me. Bring on November...