I need direction.
I do not know which way I am suppose to go in many areas of my life right now.
And, I am no good at waiting on God's timing.
Instead, I am impulsive.
And undisciplined.
Some people are thinkers. Some people are feelers. I am a do-er. I want to DO something about it. Immediately.
I want to take action. I do not want to wait.
Yet, in all the areas that I am currently struggling, one thing is crystal clear: I am still waiting. Waiting for direction.
At first, I thought this was really nice, because I am not living in crisis mode anymore. All of those big challenges (like my 6-year old having open-heart surgery) are resolved. Life is good. I can stop and breathe. I can rest.
Well, I breathed and I rested and I re-organized the kids' bedrooms and painted the kitchen, and I completed those tasks I wanted to complete this summer. And then I started wondering where I should focus now? What path do I take?
Since the answers were not coming to me very quickly, I decided to take a step. It seemed like a big one. But, that road has not led anywhere yet. It hasn't exactly closed either. It froze.
So, I started considering another area of interest. I was met with an instantaneous closed door.
And, then, little nuisances started to pop up. I've been handling them one at a time, but my attitude has been bad. I don't want to deal with them. I want them to go away so that I can focus on something BIG!
I continue to ponder and pray.
Tonight, I broke out my Experiencing God, workbook from that Bible study our church did last Fall. It really opened my eyes to understanding direction from God, when we did the study, so I was hoping my notes might open my eyes tonight.
Well, sure enough, my book fell open to the pages where I had gone hog-wild with the highlighter and wrote a bunch of notes in the margins. The biggest note: "Wait for a direction from God."
The study goes on to explain that it is difficult for Christians to wait on the Lord. But, if we start doing before we have clear direction from God, then we are usually wrong. (Yep, that sounds like me. Wrong.)
And then my notes go on to explain that one of the reasons God has us wait, is to develop our character and our relationship with Him, in order to prepare us for our next assignment. (Yes, I am feeling quite embarrassed at my immaturity, now).
God will tell me what I need to know to make the necessary adjustments to take that first step of obedience.
And, the answer is: DISCIPLINE!
Ugh. I am not a very disciplined person. I fall behind in my studies. I don't eat, sleep, or exercise regularly. I haven't yet acquired that routine of completely washing 1 load of laundry per day, or washing up the dishes every night. I am often late....for just about everything.
I know we have to remain disciplined in our financial matters in order to eliminate debt, and fund our future goals. I know I need to be disciplined in household chores in order to manage my home and train my children. I know I need to go to bed on time, wake up on time, eat regular meals, exercise regularly, just to maintain health and fitness....and be able to arrive to appointments on time. I know I need to be in prayer and Bible study daily. I know that most of the clutter in my life is self-imposed by lack of discipline.
So, here I thought my problem was that I was stuck in the "hurry up and WAIT" mode.
Instead, I see that I am in the "Keep Moving Forward" mode. Day by day. One foot in front of the other. One step at a time. It is a slower pace than the chaos we have been living, in the recent past. It is more methodical. It is more like the tortoise, and less like the hare.
Well, that is not very exciting.
But, it works. I know this. All of the things that are on my heart that I just know I am suppose to accomplish with my life, can be achieved if I will learn discipline.
Of course, I would much rather just have everything fixed instantly with a strike of lightening.
It appears that my character is in need of some development. Financial freedom can be achieved through discipline. Fitness can be achieved through discipline. A clean house can be achieved through discipline. Spiritual growth improves with discipline. Holding my tongue can be achieved through discipline. Patience can be achieved through discipline.
It is time to set up some disciplined boundaries in my life and keep moving forward...
I do not know which way I am suppose to go in many areas of my life right now.
And, I am no good at waiting on God's timing.
Instead, I am impulsive.
And undisciplined.
Some people are thinkers. Some people are feelers. I am a do-er. I want to DO something about it. Immediately.
I want to take action. I do not want to wait.
Yet, in all the areas that I am currently struggling, one thing is crystal clear: I am still waiting. Waiting for direction.
At first, I thought this was really nice, because I am not living in crisis mode anymore. All of those big challenges (like my 6-year old having open-heart surgery) are resolved. Life is good. I can stop and breathe. I can rest.
Well, I breathed and I rested and I re-organized the kids' bedrooms and painted the kitchen, and I completed those tasks I wanted to complete this summer. And then I started wondering where I should focus now? What path do I take?
Since the answers were not coming to me very quickly, I decided to take a step. It seemed like a big one. But, that road has not led anywhere yet. It hasn't exactly closed either. It froze.
So, I started considering another area of interest. I was met with an instantaneous closed door.
And, then, little nuisances started to pop up. I've been handling them one at a time, but my attitude has been bad. I don't want to deal with them. I want them to go away so that I can focus on something BIG!
I continue to ponder and pray.
Tonight, I broke out my Experiencing God, workbook from that Bible study our church did last Fall. It really opened my eyes to understanding direction from God, when we did the study, so I was hoping my notes might open my eyes tonight.
Well, sure enough, my book fell open to the pages where I had gone hog-wild with the highlighter and wrote a bunch of notes in the margins. The biggest note: "Wait for a direction from God."
The study goes on to explain that it is difficult for Christians to wait on the Lord. But, if we start doing before we have clear direction from God, then we are usually wrong. (Yep, that sounds like me. Wrong.)
And then my notes go on to explain that one of the reasons God has us wait, is to develop our character and our relationship with Him, in order to prepare us for our next assignment. (Yes, I am feeling quite embarrassed at my immaturity, now).
God will tell me what I need to know to make the necessary adjustments to take that first step of obedience.
And, the answer is: DISCIPLINE!
Ugh. I am not a very disciplined person. I fall behind in my studies. I don't eat, sleep, or exercise regularly. I haven't yet acquired that routine of completely washing 1 load of laundry per day, or washing up the dishes every night. I am often late....for just about everything.
I know we have to remain disciplined in our financial matters in order to eliminate debt, and fund our future goals. I know I need to be disciplined in household chores in order to manage my home and train my children. I know I need to go to bed on time, wake up on time, eat regular meals, exercise regularly, just to maintain health and fitness....and be able to arrive to appointments on time. I know I need to be in prayer and Bible study daily. I know that most of the clutter in my life is self-imposed by lack of discipline.
So, here I thought my problem was that I was stuck in the "hurry up and WAIT" mode.
Instead, I see that I am in the "Keep Moving Forward" mode. Day by day. One foot in front of the other. One step at a time. It is a slower pace than the chaos we have been living, in the recent past. It is more methodical. It is more like the tortoise, and less like the hare.
Well, that is not very exciting.
But, it works. I know this. All of the things that are on my heart that I just know I am suppose to accomplish with my life, can be achieved if I will learn discipline.
Of course, I would much rather just have everything fixed instantly with a strike of lightening.
It appears that my character is in need of some development. Financial freedom can be achieved through discipline. Fitness can be achieved through discipline. A clean house can be achieved through discipline. Spiritual growth improves with discipline. Holding my tongue can be achieved through discipline. Patience can be achieved through discipline.
It is time to set up some disciplined boundaries in my life and keep moving forward...
Oh, we are very much alike. I too am a DO-er. I often get the cart in front of the horse.. running out in front of Steve and God. Waiting is hard. And being disciplined to wait and be patient is a challenge. May God give you the strength to do what you know you should do in the moment.
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