A Good Report

I received Jersey #1's report card in the mail today, showing her progress for the 3rd quarter of this school year.

This report card was one of the biggest sources of encouragement to me.  It gave me feedback that the areas of educating my children, that I deem to be most important, are actually being achieved in our homeschool.  

Jersey #1 is in 5th grade this year.

We enrolled her in a program that offers enrichment classes to homeschoolers.  She takes History, Literature, and Science classes in this program.  She attends class 1 day a week.  The level of study is not too difficult, but the amount of work involved to complete those studies, has been a learning curve this year.  There are quizzes, tests, papers, discussions, presentations, note taking, and projects galore.  It was definitely an increase in workload and intensity, compared to how we homeschooled the younger grades.  5th grade seems like a good year to begin this level of academic demand.  I am pleased with the way Jersey #1 has progressed through this program and this school year.

When sending out report cards, the teacher gives the grade earned for each subject, along with a short note about the strengths and weaknesses of the student.  The mention of areas that needs improvement is always worded so graciously.  It helps me to see what areas of her studies need more parental oversight.

For the 3rd quarter, Jersey #1 earned an A in each subject, History, Literature, and Science.  

Of course we were proud of her academic achievement.  We do not require that our children earn all A's, but we do require that they give their best effort.  Jersey #1 was determined to be an A student.  I am proud of her for working at that level, and achieving her goal.

The note of feedback from the teacher was just as exciting.  

First, her teacher wrote that Jersey #1 reads very well.  This was actually the first thing we focused on when we began homeschooling.  Reading is such an important skill.  A person who can read well can learn anything.  Gaps in formal education can be filled by reading up on a subject of interest.  Reading enables a lifetime of learning.  I specifically work with my children to help them become strong readers....at their own pace, of course. 

Second, her teacher wrote that Jersey #1 has a good grasp of Scripture.  Praise God!   This is what matters most.  Teaching my children about God, and having them see me live out my faith, is the top priority.  I want my children to develop and grow in a relationship with God.  I specifically choose extra-curricular activities that will support and enhance what I am teaching my children at home.  Taking my children to church, playing Upward sports, participating in a Christian homeschool co-op, and AWANA are some of the resources that I seek to help reinforce the values that I am teaching.  AWANA is specifically important, because I utilize it as a sort of "Bible curriculum," for our homeschool.  (My requirement is that our children have to complete 1 AWANA book per school year.  They usually choose to do much more than that, because there are many prizes and incentives, within the club, for doing so).  The children memorize a ton of Bible verses in the AWANA program.  It is incredible.  It is also the best way I can see for helping my children navigate life.  The truth about what is right and what is wrong is written in the Bible.  As the children memorize scripture, they have the truth right there in front of them, in their minds.  As we discuss behaviors, attitudes, and choices, it becomes natural for them to pull those Bible verses forward and apply them to their lives.  It is a process that occurs over time, with dedicated study.  I am so pleased that Jersey #1 is growing in this process.  

It is gratifying to receive feedback that implies we are on the right track.  I am so proud of Jersey #1.  I am also so pleased to hear how she is achieving the academic goals we set for her.

This may be her report card, but it certainly provided me a progress report about the methods and goals we are pursuing in our homeschool journey.  The feedback was very encouraging!

          

Thyroid

My Doctor called me the morning after my postpartum checkup.  I asked him how he was doing, and he answered,

"I am great.  My thyroid levels are not low like yours."

He was trying to be witty.  I laughed.  What I really wanted to do was get up and start dancing!

It turns out that the reason I am so freaking exhausted day in and day out, is not because I have 5 kids.  I am exhausted all the time because my thyroid gland is not working very well.

There is no treatment for exhaustion from 5 children.

There is treatment for an under-active thyroid!  Hallelujah!!!!

My self-medication method of treatment for the past 7 years has been Mountain Dew.  Tons of sugar and caffeine.  Not healthy.  Mountain Dew contributes to weight gain, which is another symptom of the sluggish thyroid.  I just assumed my weight struggles were because I could not give up the Mountain Dew  without falling to the floor in a puddle of tears, and feeling as though I needed to spend the whole day in bed.  

It is a self-defeating cycle.  I woke up tired every morning.  I depended on Mountain Dew to wake me up, and give me the energy to keep going throughout my day.  I told myself that my exhaustion was from raising young kids, and my weight gain was from drinking Mountain Dew all day.

It never dawned on me that I might be dealing with a health issue instead.  

When I was being discharged from the hospital after delivering Titus, the doctor informed me that my blood work showed that my thyroid levels were low. The first thought inside my head was, "is this why I have so much trouble losing weight?"  The doctor explained that since I was not complaining of any of the symptoms, they were not going to start treatment that day, but that they wanted me to tell my family doctor so he could follow up on it.  

I have friends who fight Grave's disease, and have various battles with their thyroid gland.  Their symptoms are rough, and I would not want to travel that road.  This information is really not good news. 

I mentioned the details to my family doctor, and he explained that thyroid levels vary quite a bit during and around pregnancy.  He suggested that we test it again at my postpartum checkup, and see where I was then.

At home, I did some research on the symptoms of a low thyroid, and that is when I had my eye-opening realization that this is probably something I have been dealing with for a while, and certainly recently.  I have always blamed my exhaustion on the stresses of life.  I have always assumed my weight struggles were due to soda pop and poor genetics.  A friend recently commented to me that she could not understand why I was overweight, considering how active I am.  Her comment really came to mind when I was researching thyroid function.

By the time I went in for my postpartum appointment, I was expecting the levels to still be low, and treatment to be advised.  It all made sense after I studied it, and put the pieces together.  The part of my research that I liked the most was the part where the effects of low thyroid (exhaustion and weight gain) would start to reverse about 2 weeks after treatment was started.  That sounded so promising to me, which is why I was rather excited to get that call from my Doctor.

My Doctor called in a prescription for me and I picked it up at the pharmacy on my way to the gym that evening.  In conversation with a friend at the gym, I received some great advice about how to take the medication.  It has to be taken on an empty stomach, with a full glass of water, and then do not eat for at least 30 minutes.  My friend suggested I keep the medication and water in my bedroom, and take them in the wee hours of morning when I get up to use the restroom, before returning to bed.  Then, by the time I wake up for the day, I will be able to eat breakfast and go through my day.  

I followed that advice.  The first day, I took the med and drank an entire water bottle of water at 6am.  I was not expecting much to happen at first.  The medication information says it takes 2 weeks to have a noticeable effect.  Well, I know that I am really lucky that medication works very well and exactly as intended in my body.  But, I had no idea that I would see results as fast as I did.  

By 7:30am, I had to get out of bed because I was SO alert!  Only an hour and a half after taking the first dose of this medication, and I was ready to tackle the day with gusto!  I texted my friend and told her that I hoped this was not a placebo affect, or that the med would taper down over time, because I was already feeling so good!  I was not exhausted at all.  It was quite a shock to go through my whole day and not feel the desire to take a nap.  I actually researched the medication again, to make sure the pharmacy gave me the right thing, and didn't give me speed by mistake!  It was just that big of a difference!

The absolute best part of this thyroid treatment medication is how alert I feel each day.  It is as if my brain has been turned back on.  I can fully function in my life.  I can go about my business all day long, and not need a nap.  I will joyfully take this medication every day for the rest of my life, just to continue this feeling of being awake and capable.  

The second best part of this treatment is the weight loss.  I dropped 4 pounds in the first 8 days of treatment!  I imagine that my body's metabolism is ramping back up to normal, which makes a big difference.  Another big difference is that I do not feel the need for soda pop, since I am so alert.  I am certain that not adding those empty calories is also helping encourage weight loss.  

I decided to use this to my advantage, and began cutting back on my Mountain Dew intake immediately.  I used the method of cutting my intake by half, every few days.  It ended up that I did not suffer with caffeine withdrawal at all.  Sugar was my addiction, and I had to be careful to not replace the sugar decrease with other sweets.  I am very pleased to report that I have not had any soda pop at all for the past 3 days.  I am still a bit surprised by that, myself.  Soda has been such a big part of my life for so many years now, and all of a sudden it has become completely irrelevant.  

I am hoping that this treatment will continue to work wonders.  I am so pleased with its effect so far.  

Seven!

Jersey #3 is SEVEN years old today!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

It is hard to believe that the infant who was so insecure, and so high-maintenance, has grown into this sweet, confident, happy boy.  Jersey #3 lights up the world with his enthusiasm and joy.

The birthday tradition at our house is for me to set up the dining room table with decorations and presents after the kids are asleep the night before.  The birthday child wakes up to a birthday wonderland.  

We also eat cake for breakfast.  The birthday child opens presents, and then we sing the "Happy Birthday" song, and eat cake.  It is great fun, and the kids really look forward to these few times a year that we eat cake for breakfast.  This year, Jersey #3 chose a cheesecake.  (He got to choose a smaller cake for his actual birthday, because we are hosting his party next weekend).

We also bought whipped cream to go on top of the cheesecake.  It was the spray kind of whipped cream.  It tempted some children to tilt the can and spray whipped cream right into their mouths...

Jersey #3 had a blast today.  I gave him the day off from schoolwork, and he was permitted to enjoy his new sports equipment and video games all day long.  Granny & PawPaw got him a bat, glove, and baseballs.  I got him a couple games for the Wii and for his DSi.  His "big" present that he requested this year was an MP3 player.  I even let him pick out the color (he chose green).  

Even though he won't admit that he likes new clothes too, Jersey #3 was more than willing to try on his new jeans, shirts and shoes, that he received from extended family.  Granny knows that Jersey #3 prefers to wear denim.  He chooses jean pants or jean shorts every day, so she got him a new pair of jeans to go with his new t-shirts.  He looked quite handsome...

The Referee has this great tradition of taking the birthday child out for lunch on their birthday.  It has been really sweet in years past when he would take a long lunch break from work, and show up to take the birthday child out to lunch.  The kids all love this one-on-one time with Dad.

Now that he is no longer living with us, The Referee works out visits with the kids.  Sometimes it is individual visits and sometimes it is a visit with the whole herd at once.  The one-on-one time and lunches out are not as unique as they were before, but the children still look forward to getting a visit with their Dad on their birthday.  The tradition has grown to include an opportunity to pick out a gift from Dad too.  This year, Jersey #3 asked if they could go to a movie instead of out to lunch.  It worked out that they were able to go see Star Wars: The Phantom Menace in 3D.  I thought that was totally adorable, considering how much The Referee loved Star Wars when he was a kid.  

I was delighted when The Referee sent me this picture from his phone, of Jersey #3 at the theater, wearing the 3D glasses...

  

How fun it is to celebrate turning 7-years old!

Trains

Last year, my formerly-obsessed-with-trains son informed me that he was no longer into trains.  He said he liked Mario instead.  Super Mario Brothers had replaced Thomas the Train.   

It is true that he has become quite the video game champion in recent years.  (Let's just say that the college guy who works at the gym's arcade childcare program looks forward to my son arriving during his shift, because they provide an element of competition to each other.)

Let me take a moment to add that even though I am not really a fan of video games myself, I am pleased that the Mario Brothers are fully dressed.  Thomas the train was always dressed modestly too, so I did not have to worry about such things like I do with the popular characters for girls.  (Such as when did Tinker Bell undergo breast augmentation?)  

It took me a while to reach this conclusion, but I decided it was time to get rid of the train table and majority of the train stuff.  Trains have been a huge part of our life, due to Jersey #3's obsession, for the past 4 years.  His younger brother does not seem as interested.  Although he likes trains, Jersey #5 loves cars instead.  Keeping with my major spring cleaning goal this month, it was time to let go of the train stuff. 

I told Jersey #3 to build me a big oval track in our living room, and then we would put that amount of track into a container, along with a few handfuls of his favorite trains.  We made a real nice container of train items to store on a shelf and bring out randomly.  I decided to sell off the rest of the train stuff.

Jersey #3 had a blast putting train track together.  For a kid who was no longer "into" trains, he sure enjoyed himself with the task.  I have a feeling that when I bring out the train bin once in a while, he will still enjoy building tracks and running trains along.

Leap of Faith

I was originally thinking I would give myself a full year to grieve and heal and mend, before considering any other life changes.  

But, I continue to have a prompting to take another leap of faith right now.  

I am going to pursue that Nursing career that has been on the back burner for years.  

When Jersey #2 was born with a heart condition, I had to come to grips with the fact that my medical school dreams needed to be halted, so I could be home to provide her care.  (Ironically, I wanted to be a Cardiologist).  When we decided to homeschool our children, I had to entirely abandon the idea of becoming a Doctor.  I comforted myself with the idea that I could still work in the field of medicine one day, by becoming a Nurse Practitioner.  The plan in the back of my head was to go to the community college and get on the slow track, once my kids were old enough to be home alone or with each other.  The Associates of Nursing (RN) program is 4 semesters long.  A Bachelor of Nursing program can often be done online after that, at many universities.  By the time I would pursue the Master's training to be a Nurse Practitioner, the kids would be grown.  It wouldn't matter how old I was as I was pursing this "next" career, because my heart's desire is to go on medical mission trips.  I can do that as a Nurse, even when I am a grandmother!  

I have been considering the details of life as a single mother, and how to provide for my children.  My previous employment was in bio-medical research laboratories, and clinical testing laboratories.  It was interesting work, but very low pay.  

I realize that Nursing is a really good career for single motherhood.  A family can live on a Nursing salary.  There are many options for a flexible schedule, to work as few or as many shifts as are needed.  Even if our basic needs continue to be provided, I can work part-time to supplement the budget to allow for more schooling and extra-curricular opportunities.  Best of all, medical insurance is a benefit of most Nursing jobs.  

The prompting to look into it was so strong, that I stayed up way too late one night, researching the information on the computer.  I was really encouraged by the details.  My previous Biology degree gives me majority of the prerequisite courses already.  I have to repeat 3 lecture classes, and possibly 1 lab class,  because my coursework is considered too old and outdated.  There are 3 other prerequisite classes that I have also had previously, that may or may not transfer.  So, I would only need to take 3 to 6 classes to complete the prerequisites to apply to the program.  The wait list to enter the training is approximately 2 semesters to a full year after that. 

Add the detail that majority of those classes have an online option.  I could take the prerequisites now, while still being home with my kids.  I was really encouraged when a family at church offered to help me with the kids for the classes I need to take on site.  This family is going to teach enrichment classes, in their home, so that my children can be learning while I am at class, 2 afternoons a week.  

At age 11, children can stay home alone.  At age 12, children can take the Red Cross babysitting course and be responsible for the care of others. 

In the amount of time it will take me to complete the prerequisites and wait out the application process, my children will start turning 11 or 12 in succession.  That means we can get through the 4 semesters of Nursing school, without having to depend fully on others for childcare.  

It won't be easy, but it certainly seems possible.

When I started to mention the idea to friends, I received a lot of encouragement.  One friend commented that she thought I would do well with the academic distraction right now, instead of dwelling on the emotional challenges in my life.  I think that is a good point.  

I am thinking this is the time to embrace academics.  I am blessed to be able to homeschool the children still, so I will make education our top priority, and set the example myself.  

It is a big leap...

Ready.  Set.  Go!

  

Permission to be Happy

Life keeps going.  I am a survivor.  I have not let the struggles, pains, and heartaches keep me down.  

But, I still don't like it.  I really don't like having to deal with the things that I am dealing with.  My life was suppose to be different than this.  I did not sign up for this.  I did not want this.  I wanted better.

The difference in me now, is that I have embraced radical.  The worlds of my friend ring true.  This is a radical way for me to live out my faith.  

I never would have chosen this path for myself.

But, since I am here anyway, I am going to make the most of it.  

I trust God.

I am certain that He will make something good come from all that seems so bad right now.  I just don't have a clue what He has in store for me.  I suppose that is where faith comes in.  

By nature, I am a planner.  I like to think about the future, plan for the future, dream about the future, and plot the course it takes to reach my goals.  

Right now, I don't have the means to plan the next day of my life, much less the future.  For the past few years, my life experience has been that everything I have can be uprooted and disheveled in an instant.  That experience is even more true now.  The lifestyle I was working toward has been demolished.  I have no way of knowing what tomorrow will bring.

I do have some certainties though.  God loves me.  God is in control.  His grace is sufficient.  I can trust Him.  Regardless of all that is bad in my life, God is good.

I have finally let go of the struggle.  I stopped trying to make sense out of the trials in my life.  I am learning to let go of the aggravation about not getting what I want.  I have stopped taking the hardships personally.  I am not being punished.  I have certainly been mistreated.  I am definitely being challenged.  My faith has been tried.  

The great thing about faith is that even though it may falter, it will not fail.  God always holds up His end of the relationship, and will never allow me to lose my faith entirely.  In my darkest moments, he picks me up and carries me through.  God has been so patient with me as I have spent the past few months crying, yelling, complaining, and crying some more.  

As I've gotten all of the crying and emotional turmoil out of my system, I've wanted to be happy again.  But, how can I be happy when circumstances in my life are so terribly wrong?  How can I be happy when my womb is empty?  How can I be happy when I have no companion to share the ups and downs of life?How can I be happy when the budget is so low that we have had to cut out most of our extra-curricular and curricular activities?  How can I be happy when none of these priorities show a glimpse of getting any better?

I suppose, that is where faith comes in.

I can be happy because God is good.

I see my life with new eyes now.  I have given myself permission to be happy, even in the midst of all that is wrong in my life.  I see the many, many blessings that I have.  I am quickly learning to be content with just my basic needs being provided.  I am able to rejoice much more when I am blessed with anything above those basic needs.  My appreciation for all that I do have is stronger.  

I do not know what the future will bring.  I know that God is in control.  He will supply all my needs.  I trust God.

I do not know if I will ever be blessed with any more children.  When the opportunity arrived (even before I was emotionally ready), I donated all of my baby items to a charity to supply foster families with the things they need to raise foster children.  I have a heart for fostering, and always wanted to be a foster parent.  I have also wanted to adopt children.  It seems strange to me to feel so strongly about this, yet to not have the means or stability to pursue it.  It has been huge for me to be able to give this desire to God, and leave it in His hands.  God knows my heart.  He has already blessed me with 8 children, 5 who are still living with me on Earth.  He knows I will welcome more.  For now, I must be content to pour all of my love and efforts into the 5 children God has currently entrusted into my care.  I am certainly blessed with this handful of delight.   

I do not know what our marriage and family will look like in the future.  I am lonely.  Even though I am strong enough to live alone and raise the children on my own, I still miss the partnership and companionship that marriage provides.  I had no intentions of going through life on my own.  Since divorce has not been pursued, I continue to wear my wedding ring, consider myself married, and do not allow outside relationships.  I try to keep my mind and heart open to reconciliation.  I am hurt and angry that I have been betrayed, and rejected by my own husband.  It has been very difficult to let go of those emotions, not act upon them, and let God handle it.  I continue to pray for healing for myself, for my husband, for my children, for our marriage, and for our family.  I have 5 young children to raise, so dating is not a priority right now anyway.   I simply ask God to bring a companion into my life in His timing.

Right now, I have a job to do.  I am raising and homeschooling 5 wonderful children.  My husband is providing for our food, clothing, shelter, and transportation, so our basic needs are being met.  I am thankful for that.  I am very thankful to still have the opportunity to be home with my children, and to homeschool them.  The emotions and heartaches are easier to manage, when I get to spend my days with my kids.  My children bring me joy.  They live life to the fullest and enjoy everything.  Plus, they keep me super busy!

Slowly but surely, I am finding healing.  I appreciate that the children and I are safe and comfortable in our current arrangement.  I appreciate that I get to have this time with them, while they are young, because I know the nest will empty all too soon.  I appreciate the love and care of my friends and family.  I appreciate that my husband is still willing to provide for us, even though he has decided to not live with us. That is a huge blessing.  

God is Good!

Exercise Some Patience

I told Jersey #3 to "exercise" some patience.  

He immediately dropped to the floor and began doing sit-ups.  

I laughed so hard that I had to wipe tears from my eyes.  I started laughing all over again as I tried to explain that exercising patience, is not like PE exercising.  Oh my!

Some days I am pretty certain I had children for my own entertainment.    

Why Buy Toys?

It appears that I should have been purchasing packages of plastic cups instead of toys...

Perry the Platypus

It could be said that we have gone a little crazy for Perry the Platypus.

Our family loves the cartoon Phineas and Ferb.  I am not much of a fan of television, but I can enjoy watching this show with the kids.  It is totally unrealistic, but we find it very entertaining.

Even the evil scientist, Doofenshmirtz cracks us up.  We call each other such names as "Doofen-Dad," or "Doofen-Jersey #4."  

Finding the Perry the Platypus clothing has just rocked our world.  Jersey #5 would wear this shirt every day if I let him.  I have to sneak it away and wash it, so that he will put on a clean shirt.

Sometimes it is the little things that can be so much fun!

New Outfits From Granny

It is fun to get new clothes.  Granny & PawPaw bought these outfits and sandals for the kids, in their Easter baskets.  This is what the kid wore to church Easter morning.  I had to capture  photo quickly, while the clothes were still clean and new-looking, because that doesn't last long around here...

On the Hunt

The kids enjoyed a couple different egg hunts this year.

The first was at a park, with our homeschool co-op.  The ladies who organized that event did and awesome job hiding a zillion eggs all over the park.  Each kid was told to collect 20 eggs (to make sure everyone got some).  Our kids had a blast. 

Jersey #5 did not reach 20 eggs before he decided to stop and check out what was inside those eggs.  He was too curious about the contents of the eggs, to care about reaching the maximum limit.

Jersey #3 made me proud.  He found 3 boys from his previous co-op classes, and they decided to hunt together.  As soon as the announcement was made that they could begin, the four boys ran off toward the eggs.  Jersey #3 found the first egg, picked it up, and immediately handed it over to his friend.  That friend's Mom happened to be watching.  She approached me to tell me what my son had done, and how impressed she was with him.  She says usually the kids are thinking about collecting the eggs for themselves.  She was amazed that Jersey #3 gave up his first egg for his friend.  He has such a kind heart.  What a kid!

We also enjoyed an egg hunt in our own backyard on Sunday afternoon.  I used the eggs that the kids' gathered at the co-op egg hunt, and filled them with jelly beans.  Our puppies were so curious about the new "toys" in the backyard, that they started to hunt them even before the kids could get outside.  The puppies would steal and egg, eat the candy out of it, and then replace the egg in a new location.  They were easy to spot because the egg was open.  Silly puppies.  It added a new element of competition to the egg hunt to have to race against the puppies as well as the siblings.

We add an element of education to our "prize egg."  

All of the eggs are filled with candy, except 1.  The prize egg is the empty egg.  Inside the empty egg is written, "Empty.  He is risen!"  As Christians, that is the whole point of our Easter celebration:  the tomb is empty!  God is SO powerful, HE conquered death.  This is the exact thing I want my children to learn and realize.  Incorporating an empty egg into our egg hunt, helps even the youngest of children understand the concept of empty.  They will build on this to an understanding of why it is so important that Jesus did not stay dead.  He rose from the dead, and we have an opportunity to spend forever in heaven with Him!    

Jersey #3 found the empty egg this year.  He was so excited!