13

The Referee and I are celebrating 13 years of marriage today.  

Happy Anniversary!

13

Is that number lucky or unlucky these days?

Either way, I'll take it.  And many more....

Marriage is a lot of work.  It is tough to share a life with someone.  It is easier to be selfish.  Yet, we desire companionship.  What a strange struggle.  I believe in marriage.  I believe the overall journey is totally worth it.  Marriage is the core of the family.  It is important.  Sometimes I have to remind myself not to focus on the immediate challenge, but to realize that there is a bigger picture unfolding.  Each anniversary represents a milestone in our life together.  It has been a full life so far.  I think that may be why we look so young in our wedding photo....and feel so much older now.  I have a collection of pictures that prove to me that the years are passing, and we are certainly filling them up with memories together.

Baby Referee

Baby Coach Mom

We met and dated in high school...

We became engaged in college...

We stood before friends and family and committed to sharing the rest of our lives together.

We managed to get a wedding photo in front of this home-made balloon arch, mere seconds before a big wind gust picked it up and carried it off...

We started a family....

...and buried our firstborn (who arrived stillborn)...

(We lost our 2nd child to early miscarriage.)

We joyfully welcomed Jersey #1 into the world...

We celebrated Jersey #2 surviving her first open-heart surgery...

We made big career changes, and traveled to Europe...

We welcomed a bouncing baby boy (Jersey #3)...

Our family grew some more...and then there were FOUR:

Jobs were lost.  Health issues arose.  Jobs were found.  And, we were blessed with a handful:

We certainly have our hands full...

As we took Jersey #2 for her 2nd open-heart surgery...

...we were reminded once again that it is better to have our hands FULL than empty!

There is never a dull moment....

And, we like it that way!

When we said "I do," we did not realize we had signed up for life in a 3-ring circus.  

13 years later, I am certain that the words to our song still ring true:

"I'm Happy To Be Stuck With You!"

Grandparents

So far this summer, the children and I have made 6 road trips to the town where their grandparents live.  We do not usually get a chance to visit each family member, with each visit.  But, I did make a point to seek the opportunity to fit in at least 1 visit....and 1 photo opportunity...with each grandparent.  I cherish these photos.  They are a snapshot in time.  I never know when (or if) I will get another chance at such a photo opportunity.  

All 4 of our children's grandparents are alive and well.

PawPaw & Granny:

Nana:

Grampa:

3 Generations

The Referee and I each have 1 living grandmother, giving our children 2 living great-grandmothers.

Great-Granny:

Great-Grandma:

Our children are blessed with lots of grandparent love (and spoilin').

Kid Clothes and Kung Fu Panda

 

We have been packing this summer full of fun.

We took our kids to see the new Kung Fu Panda movie at the theater.  We loved the first movie, and were really looking forward to seeing the sequel.  

We still laugh over our experience taking the older kids to see the first Kung Fu Panda, at the theater.  We went with our Pastor and his wife.  Jersey #2 left a lasting impression.  In the middle of the movie, the main character makes a reference to being hit in his "tenders."  Jersey #2 (who does not appear to have an "indoor voice") turned to her Dad and exclaimed,

"Tenders.  He doesn't have Tenders.  Dad, what are Tenders?  Do I have Tenders?"

Our Pastor and his wife did their best to try to stifle their laughter, but they enjoyed the commentary immensely.

The Referee did his best to quiet Jersey #2, saying her Mom would explain it later.  He was totally embarrassed.

The sequel was wonderful too.  The kids were older this time.  We only had to take 1 bathroom break.  It was nice.

Previously that morning, while the kids were attending Vacation Bible School with friends, The Referee and I enjoyed a breakfast date.  Then, we decided to go to a department store and look for T-shirts.  Knowing we were planning a trip to visit Thomas the Train, I was looking for T-shirts for the kids to wear.

I was really disappointed to realize just how messed up the kids clothing section really is.  It appears that department stores would like the children to grow up MUCH faster.  There were no Thomas the Train shirts in any size larger than toddler sizes.  I know many early elementary-aged boys who love Thomas, so I am surprised that there are no shirts in their sizes.  

While looking in the older boy sizes, I found Kung Fu Panda T-shirts on sale.  Knowing we were going to the movie that afternoon, I thought it would be fun to surprise the kids with matching shirts to wear.  Unfortunately, that plan also backfired, when we realized that Kung Fu Panda T-shirts did not go beyond size 7.  (In general, kids sizes tend to broadly follow kid ages).  All of the older boy shirts were TV themes that seemed to be more of a high school or college interest.  A sales associate asked if we needed help, so I told her what I was looking for.  She informed me that there were no shirts with that character in the larger sizes.  She then went on to explain that they tailor the characters to the interest of kids of that age range.  I informed her that MANY boys ages 8-10 are fans of Kung Fu Panda, so the store was quite inaccurate in its selections.  

The Referee asked if we would have any luck finding Kung Fu Panda shirts in the girls' department.  I immediately laughed and informed him that the clothing in the girls department follows the same theme:  love, peace, and look-at-my-butt!  The girls department is totally disgusting with its sexualized clothing for school-aged girls.  There are no fun characters at all.  It was no surprise to me why there was no one shopping in that section of the store, and all the shelves and racks were full.  Most parents do not want to buy that trashy clothing for their daughters. 

In the end, I skipped buying any Thomas the Train t-shirts, because we still had toddler sized shirts at home.  I bought the younger 3 kids a Kung Fu Panda t-shirt from the boys section.  We bought the older girls a guitar t-shirt from the boys section.  T-shirts in the boys section are much better made, with thicker material, and more material to cover their bodies.  The store probably has no clue how much sale they actually missed from me.  I would have bought 5 train shirts, and 5 Kung Fu Panda shirts.....if they had actually been available.  Then, I would have been back for guitar shirts for another occasion.

The kids were thrilled with their new shirts.  They do not realize my struggle to keep them dressed in age-appropriate, modest clothing, so that they can be free to be children for as long as possible.

Prodigal Blogger

Hello.

It's been a while.

I seem to have taken an unintentional break from blogging. Life became WAY too overwhelming, and something had to give. It is a bit ironic that it was blogging that gave, considering one popular reason for blogging is to gain personal growth through journaling.

Then, when I decided that I really missed blogging, emailing, scrapbooking, and such ways of communicating about this season of motherhood, I was a bit lost as to how to get restarted.

I am not interested in debating parenting styles or baby product preferences. I do not have a pregnancy to journal. I do not have a book or a product to sell. I have no skill to teach. I don't think I am hip to anything that is popular right now.

So, is there even a purpose for my blog?


Nope.


And, I am Ok with that.

After much pondering on my own, and questioning my husband (who claims to be the biggest fan of my blog), I have comfortably come to the conclusion that there is no point in reading my blog. It has no value to the general public.

But, it is a lot of fun for me to write....and quite amusing for my husband to read. We do not have any answers. We have a cluttered house, entertaining children, wild puppies, and a crazy schedule.

We are thriving in chaos.

And I love it!

I am hoping to carve out time to blog more about it.

I uploaded a new profile picture.

It's a start.

FLIP

The kids have been hangin' around at the park, picking up new skills this summer.

Jersey #2 and Jersey #3 learned how to do a front flip over a bar.

This is something that The Referee and I remember doing when we were kids, playing on the schoolyard at recess. I could do a few things on the bars, but I was more timid about being airborne or flipping over my own head. I had friends who flipped and flew like trapeze artists.

Our children appear to take after me more in this area. They are much more cautious about heights, being upside down, and free fall. I am fairly certain that their future careers will not include a trapeze.

Knowing that they had the size and strength to flip over the bar, I coached them through their initial fears. Jersey #3 let go of the bar, and fell on his head with the first attempt. It took a bit to get him to try again. It helps that the kids trust me, and obey my instructions. They were willing to let me walk them through the steps, holding them at first, until they built the confidence in their own ability.

It was fun to watch them develop this new skill. I love to see their faces light up, with huge smiles, as their confidence grows and pride emerges.

It didn't take long for them both to start trying to flip faster and faster. What a thrill!



Jersey #1 was not going to be outdone. She was determined to show her younger brother and sister that she could flip too.

We've got bit of a competitive nature around here.

As we were leaving the park, Jersey #3 thanked me for teaching him this new "trick." Later, The Referee complimented me on the way I coached the kids through the learning and practicing process. I was already basking in the joy of watching the kids master a new skill. By the time we returned home, my head was swollen with pride, and barely fit through the front door! Ah, the joys of motherhood!

From Princesses to Super Heroes

There is a strange thing happening in our household.

Our "castle" is transitioning from a place to hold the Royal Ball, to a place that is under attack.

We have enjoyed many years of princess dress-up fun. There were times when Jersey #1 was only seen in a Cinderella dress (carrying a wand), even to church and while grocery shopping. Jersey #2 loved to dress up too, but often chose a different Disney princess, or made up her own version and called herself, "Princess Jersey #2."

We still have children in the dress-up fun ages. But, they are not interested in being princesses. They want to be super heroes.

Cinderella has been replaced by Iron Man.

I have a lot to learn about the Justice League and the Marvel Heroes. The boys are still correcting me on each of the characters.

At first, I was sad to see combat replace dancing. Jersey #5 warmed my heart to the idea, when he informed me in his cute little toddler voice....

"Don't worry Mama, I'll shoot the bad guys. You'll be Ok."

Growing Boys

Our boys are busy learning new skills lately.

Jersey #3 learned how to blow a bubble with his bubble gum.

He asked me if I would teach him how. So, we each got a piece of Bubble Yum and went to work on that important lesson. I was impressed by how he sat next to me and worked at it until he got it. He did not complain. He did not quit. It took him about 12 minutes to get that first bubble. He was so proud.

Jersey #5 decided that he was tired of having to have a sibling drive him around on the battery-powered vehicles at PawPaw & Granny's house. He figured out how to take one for a spin on his own. Clearly, a 2 year old should not be able to drive those things. It turns out, he handled it quite well. So, Granny encouraged him to drive the quad runner, so he could control the steering wheel a little easier. He did pretty well going around the yard. He did have an accident. He crashed into the side of the kiddie pool, then called for PawPaw to come rescue him. I am thankful to have many more years before he can get behind the wheel of a car.

Fitness Flop

I joined a gym this month.

When my "baby" turned 2, I was embarrassed to realize that I was still carrying 4 pounds of "pregnancy" weight. Oops.

Clearly, I did not make fitness a priority during the 8 years I was birthing 6 babies. Clearly, I am overdue for some serious exercise. Unfortunately, I have not been running as much now that my weekends are spent working in the lab.

So, when my work sent out an email talking about job perks, I snapped to attention when I saw the discount gym membership. There is a location near my house. It even has a "supervised playroom." That means they will keep the children from hurting each other, but they are not running a diaper service. My kids all fit within the age requirements.

The last time I joined this gym, Jersey #3 was a year old. He did not cooperate, even with his sisters there. I would start an aerobics class, and barely make it into the warm-up before the staff had to come get me because my toddler was hysterical. So, I gave up on that. This time, though, the kids are much more cooperative.

We turn heads as we parade into the gym, in the middle of the day when it is mostly college students and elderly working out. So far, the whole experience has been good. I sign the kids into the playroom. They play, color, and watch a movie while I take a group fitness class. Then, I pick them up and they race me to the van. It is all so smooth that I thought I would go workout 5 days a week.

Well, my body thinks otherwise.

So far, I have made it 2 days each week. It takes me 2 days to recover. I know I am out of shape. I know I am older. But, I am still shocked at the way my body is revolting against me.

For starters, squats in the gym are a great exercise.....until I try to sit on the toilet the next day and my thighs refuse to work properly.

My husband commented that I was holding myself with such great posture after just 1 day at the gym. I had to admit to him that my posture was so good because I could barely move from all those sore muscles. Let's just say that my abs are used to being relaxed, not flexed.

I am not sure how long it takes to adjust.

I certainly enjoy the feeling of working my muscles again though. I was an athlete once. I kinda miss it. Here's hoping I can find a piece of that athletic life again this summer.

Happy Kite Day

May 12th was Kite Day.

I had no idea such a holiday existed before.

This year we celebrated it.

My Mom (aka: Granny) surprised me with a gift and a cake for "Kite Day" this year. It was so sweet.

She knew I had a rotten Mother's Day, and she wanted to help. When I visited her on May 12th, it was already past Mother's Day, so she went searching on the internet for a holiday to celebrate in its place. She found Kite Day.

Then, she went shopping for a kite.

Later, I flew a kite with the kids. It was fun.

I think that was the best Kite Day celebration ever!

It definitely was more fun that my Mother's Day this year.

The children did their best to make the day special. They are sweet. They colored me pictures and cards, and gave me hugs all day long. We went for ice cream sundaes in the afternoon.

I was pretty sad and hurt on Mother's Day this year. The Referee went out of his way to ruin the day for me. Initially he had simply forgotten that Mother's Day was arriving. After that, it didn't take him long to resent the expectation that he should do something nice for me.....and lead the children accordingly. In no time, he had convinced himself that it was ok to ruin the day for me, in anger. When he goes wrong, he goes strong, which is no fun at all.

Thankfully, I am blessed with children, friends, and family who treat me well, so I know full well that The Referee is in error when he acts this way, and I do not deserve it. A sweet Kite Day celebration is a great example of how I have loved ones who lift me up when I am down.

I also have a husband who is smart enough to apologize BIGGER than he offends. When The Referee came to his senses, he realized that he should not have ruined Mother's Day like that. He surprised me with a sincere apology and a very nice gift...

the dining room table set that I have been admiring for over a year...

We have been using a folding table, and metal chairs, in our dining room for too long. It was suppose to be a temporary solution until we finished saving up for this table that I wanted. I have saved for the table 2.5 times, and each time I get close to being able to buy it, another expense takes priority, and I have to start all over.

We do not typically give gifts this expensive. Our budget does not work that way.

So, this gift was personal. It was big. It was something that I have been wanting for a long time. The Referee was wise to melt my anger with such a gift. Forgiveness came much easier when anger is melted away like that.

The icing on the cake was that The Referee mopped the dining room floor, and assembled the table. He had the dining room all cleaned up, with the beautiful table in place, waiting for me when I returned home from work.

Better late than never...

Happy (Belated) Mother's Day!

Dental Blessings

I took the kids to the dentist this morning. It was time for their every-6-months cleaning.

I am thankful to have found such a wonderful pediatric dentistry to bring my thundering herd. They are sweet, kid-friendly, and provide excellent treatment. They schedule 3 kids at once and 2 kids to follow, so I can take everyone in the same visit. The working environment must be great too, because some of the hygienists, and the office manager, greeted us when we first visited 7 years ago....and are still there each time we visit.

But, I will openly admit that I still feel stress about taking them to the dentist. We have terrible teeth genetics. This is mostly due to my gene pool, for sure. Even though I fully understand that there is a great balance between genetics and environment in any health issue, I still anticipate being accused of poor parenting as the culprit of the numerous cavities.

It is a silly insecurity that is not even founded in truth. My kids teethe on toothbrushes as infants, and brushing is a regular routine in our household. The older children are able to fully explain to the hygienist about their brushing habits, which are always answered with praise. I am confident that I am teaching them good hygiene practices. Yet, I still wait to be accused of failing in this area.

Our pediatric dentist has never suggested that the kids' dental issues are a result of lifestyle or parenting. He actually points out which things are "defects" and which things are genetics. He usually shrugs off most cavities as a result of those "deep grooves." That is the same thing dentists told my parents about my teeth. Apparently, we have groovy teeth.

I sat in the waiting room, watching the kids play, bracing myself for the adventure ahead.

Much to my surprise, this was probably the easiest dental visit I have ever experienced with the children. All 5 of them blessed me with their cooperation. The older 3 were cavity-free! I practically skipped out of the building when we were done, because I was that thrilled.

I was concerned about Jersey #3 because his dental visits have been pretty intense for the past year. He had a stressful experience getting fillings, and followed that up with poor cooperation for his next cleaning. I bought him a battery-operated toothbrush to help mimic the sensations of getting teeth polished at the dentist, in an attempt to help decompress his sensitivities. I had a talk with him yesterday, to try to brace him for the visit and what to expect. I explained that he needed to be still in the chair and not wiggle, and he needed to cooperate instead of yelling. I was amused by his response as he informed me,

"No problem, Mom. I am SO over that now!"

I suggested he could talk to the hygienist and mention when something was bothering him, but that he could not holler. He agreed that he could handle it.

And he did handle it. He talked constantly with the hygienist and asked about every detail of the cleaning. He did not holler. His body language was tense, and it was obvious he had to work extra hard to keep still, but he cooperated. I was so proud of him!

Jersey #1 participated in the cleaning with ease, but still gagged at the attempt at getting bitewing x-rays.

Jersey #4 was nervous, but she was determined to do as well as Jersey #3. She is so stubborn and independent like that. I made her siblings stay back and let her handle herself on her own. She did not want their advice, or them sitting on the chair with her, or anything. She is a big girl too.....even if she did insist on wearing tap shoes with her outfit.

Jersey #5 took it all in stride. He is so mellow. He followed all the instructions, climbed into that big chair, and picked his own toothpaste flavor. He opened his mouth when asked, and was rather still for a 2-year old. He didn't complain or fuss at all.

Jersey #2 was a superstar. She has had 2 heart surgeries, a cardiac MRI, and doctor visits galore....so a dental cleaning was no challenge for her. She laid back in that big chair, completely relaxed, with pig-tails draping to each side. She informed the hygienist about the process, instead of the other way around. Her cleaning was complete in record time. It helps that she is missing a few teeth right now too.

After the cleanings, the Dentist made his rounds from child to child, updating me on their status....

Jersey #1 has a gum defect, which he recommends watching right now, but may require a visit to the periodontist in the future. It appears some of her gum did not attach to the permanent tooth properly as it came in.

Jersey #2 has 4 loose teeth. The tooth fairy will need to stop by the ATM here soon. Her big front tooth is technically "in the range of normal." The dentist said that he would not call it "odd-shaped" (like I called it), and says he is not worried about it at this time.

Jersey #3 has some tartar build-up between his lower front teeth. The dentist went to check it out further, and discovered those teeth are loose. So, instead of treating them, he will let them fall out naturally. That will be a first---natural tooth loss. Jersey #3 has 3 missing teeth from a bike accident. Today I learned that the permanent replacements will take longer to come down. Instead of filling the hole left behind by baby teeth falling out, his permanent teeth will have to break through the healed hole, more like cutting baby teeth. That should be fun.

Jersey #4 has some small cavities in the grooves of her teeth. Not much she could have done about that. She is pretty cooperative, so they expect to be able to fill them with ease.

Jersey #5 has a handful of small cavities, in the grooves of his teeth. I knew this already, as the dentist was waiting to treat until his 2nd molars emerged (so he could fix those too if necessary). I dreaded the suggestion of treating him under general anesthesia due to his young age. I was pleased to hear the dentist say that the cavities were small and should all be fillings (not caps), so he thinks this can be done in-office. Jersey #5 was so cooperative for his cleaning, that the dentist thinks it is worth a try to see if he will cooperate for fillings the same way (with the help of laughing gas). That is great news!

I was full of smiles and relief as the kids picked out their new toothbrushes and goodie bags. That was one dental visit that did not zap my confidence.