Black Belt

The Referee tested his very first student for the rank of Black belt in Tae Kwon Do, tonight. It was awesome!

She was awesome...

I am so very proud of both of them...

Tae Kwon Do was such a big part of The Referee's childhood. His Uncle ran a TKD school, and allowed The Referee to attend for free. He trained up to the rank of 2nd degree black belt. Then, he went off to college and moved out of town. 12 years passed before he returned to the martial art. He was never drawn to a new school, for some reason.

Then, one Sunday afternoon, The Referee got caught up in some light saber battles with a few of the kids and teens at church. He was having so much fun, that he asked if they would be interested in learning some REAL fighting techniques. That is when he admitted that he was martial arts trained, and could technically train others. The idea was a hit. After receiving permission from the church congregation, he started up a Tae Kwon Do class, using the church fellowhip hall as his Dojang. He specifically set up his class to be for self-defense, fellowship, and fitness. Class opens and ends in prayer. He did not join any official martial arts federation, so that there is no governing body, above our church. At first, I questioned if it was allowed to not be members of an organization, and would the ranks be legitimate. It turns out, that yes, it is. The Referee has sought counsel with his Uncle and a couple other Black belts who own(ed) martial arts schools, and all tell him he is on the right track with the way he runs his class.

That was 4 years ago. The class began with church members, and then opened up to the homeschooling community. The training is free. Students only have to pay for their testing materials and uniforms. They meet one evening a week and workout. Our older 3 kids are part of the class now too. It is really neat to see the fathers who come and workout with their kids. There have been quite a few occasions where the kids will eventually out-rank their Dads, because Dads often miss classes due to working late or business travel. It is harder to get the Moms to participate, me included. I have not yet jumped into that class, but I am happy to go each week and cheer them on. It is fun. It is really neat to see the progression of skill. It has been amazing to see this fine young lady train for her black belt. She started with the original class, 4 years ago. She took breaks for health and injuries. The Referee took a break. The class took breaks around the church schedule. But, in spite of those random breaks, she was able to go from no martial arts training 4-years ago, to earning a Black belt in Tae Kwon Do tonight. Impressive!

Fun With Grandparents

Jersey #1 was able to spend a week with at Granny & PawPaw's house. This is a tradition that my Mom started the year Jersey #1 turned 5. That summer, Granny announced to me that she thought Jersey #1 was old enough to spend a week with her grandparents during the summer. Granny hoped to continue the tradition with all of her grandbabies (starting at age 5), for as long as possible. Now that Granny & PawPaw have 10 grandchildren, we joke that a week with each one will consume the entire summer. The solution has been to pair up some of the cousins who are the same age and play well together.

Spending a week at Granny & PawPaw's house is an exciting time for the kids. They look forward to their turn every summer. Our children also gain the benefit of an evening out with Nana (The Referee's Mom). She lives in the same town and will pick up the visiting grandbaby and take them out to dinner and shopping or something special like that.

Granny took lots of pictures to show us what Jersey #1 was up to during her week's stay.

She learned how to play crouquet...

She baked a cake...

A visit to the park...

A visit to the indoor bouncer place...
Lounging in the pool...

Clothes shopping...

After raising 3 daughters, Granny is an expert at pretty hair...

There was also a game with a series of clues that led Jersey #1 all around the house...

PawPaw taught her how to knit...

A visit with Great-Granny too...

A craft project...

Shopping for a new outfit from Nana...

Our children are blessed to have such amazing grandparents. What precious memories are made each summer.

A Day of Firsts

We experienced many "firsts" out at the Ranch yesterday....

Jersey #5 rode a horse for the first time. He was a sight to see, too. He was standing in line with all the other kids, trying to put on a helmet. A Ranch volunteer caught eye of him and asked if he wanted to ride too. I was about to explain that he was too young, but my comments were lost in the wind of Jersey #5 rushing past me to get through that gate! The Ranch volunteer held out her hand and he took it and walked with her.....not even looking back to see his Mama with her mouth hanging open. Well, I recovered quickly, and raced through the gate with camera in hand to capture this momentous occasion of my fearless toddler on a horse.

He did not smile. He did not laugh. He did not fuss or cry. He simply took the entire experience in stride. The volunteer lifted him up on that horse, and he grabbed onto the saddle. He went around and around the corral, showing no emotion. I called out his name and got him to look at me and give me the slightest smirk for the camera. Other than that, he was serious. He was focused. He was intense. He cracked me up. (I did not realize he was this much like his Daddy). When his turn was over, he walked away and waved goodbye to the volunteer and the horse. And then he smiled. He was mighty proud to get his turn to ride.

Next came Jersey #4. She had not desired to ride a horse this entire season at the Ranch. She preferred to look at them, maybe pet them, but not ride. The evening before our visit, she mentioned that she would like to ride this time too. I told her she could. When it was time to put on a helmet and get in line for a turn, she was hesitant. Well, seeing her baby brother push past her to take a turn on that horse must have removed all doubt.....she was determined to get her turn just as soon as that gate opened again!

I was highly entertained by the sight of my pink princess cowgirl, dressed in her pink clothes, pink boots, and pink helmet...being assisted by the "pink lady" volunteer at the Ranch. Those two were a sight to see.

For the first time since learning about this Ranch, I actually had a nervous thought about safety when I saw Jersey #3 on the horse. He was eager to ride. After going around the corral a couple times, the Ranch volunteer asked Jersey #3 if he wanted to learn how to hold the reigns to steer the horse.

Well, Jersey #3 was totally excited to try that. Unfortunately for the horse, and for my nerves, Jersey #3 was SO excited that he was just a tugging and pulling, and going crazy with those reigns. To be honest, I would not have been surprised if that horse stood up and dropped my child off its back!

Thankfully, that horse was extremely patient and understanding. So was the Ranch volunteer. Apparently they have encountered impulsive 5-year old boys before. I'm pretty sure that horse looked at me as if to say, "Don't worry, he will eventually learn." I know the Ranch volunteer reassured me with something to that effect.


As if the morning was not exciting enough, Jersey #2 was able to get back in the saddle again. At just 9 weeks post surgery, she could not wait for her turn to ride. She had been coached by one of the volunteers at a previous visit how she could stand on a bucket and lift herself into the saddle, mostly with her legs, when the time came that she was cleared by her doctor to ride again. That would eliminate the Ranch volunteers from doing any lifting under her arms, or any motion that might cause her pain. She was empowered with that coaching, and could not wait to try it out. It worked! She heaved herself into the saddle, and away she went.

Coincidentally, she was able to ride the very horse that she had the opportunity to paint last month. Such a sweet horse too.

I also received the opportunity to meet my very first real, live vocal anti-homeschooling individual. He was a journalist who was planning to do a story on the Ranch. Until that morning, I had only heard stories of such boldly negative folk. He was real excited to chat with Jersey #2 about her experiences at the Ranch, until he learned she was homeschooled. After that, he didn't want much to do with her, and she didn't want much to do with him. She is a good judge of character. He floored me when he made a comment about how homeschoolers lack proper social skills. He learned such a fact from his ex-wife, who apparently met 1 single homeschooler, who was a quiet kid. (The sweet Ranch owner quickly interjected that many homeschoolers come out to their Ranch, and her experiences with them have been positive.) I held my tongue, hoping that his bias from meeting me would not sour his ability to write a good story about the Ranch. As I was driving home that day, I could not help but marvel at the experience. Wow, such people really do exist. Before that day, I had only heard of them through stories and on the internet.

One of his questions (did I do any equestrian lessons with my children prior to our Ranch visit), reminded me that I did intend to do a horse lapbook with my older girls this summer. We have been so busy learning about all things Cardiology, that it completely slipped my mind.

So, at least I can walk away from that crazy "first" with thankfullness for that educational reminder....from a guy who detests homeschooling.

Couch to 5K

I am sore this morning. The Referee and I started learning to run. We are seeking to improve our fitness level. Get in shape. Lose weight. Etc.

I do not think I even had a fitness level before. Well, not entirely, because I was real active in sports in high school. But, I'm not in high school anymore. Either is my fitness level.

I am not a runner either. Actually, whenever the topic comes up, I usually joke that I don't run...even when chased!

But, then, I happened upon this Couch to 5K program on the internet. If I understand it correctly, the program was designed by the folks at Cool Running. So, I hope I am crediting the right folks.

The idea of the program is to get people off the couch and regularly running at the level of a 5K (about 3 miles), in just 2 months. The program starts so basic, that the first week is mostly a walk and jog routine.

I will admit that I tried to start the program a few months ago, and failed miserably. I was shocked to learn I no longer had the coordination to run, jog, or get my body moving as fast in reality as it moves in my mind. Second, I have a need for some major bra support, and that was a painful lesson to learn. Thirdly, I also need good arch and ankle support, because weak ankles and poor coordination do not go well together. I have always been a klutz, and I do not see that improving much.

But, as the months went by, and I continued to workout to my walk-at-home DVDs, I gained a little improvement to my movement. I also found good supportive shoes. And, when I accidentally stumbled upon an extremely supportive bra, my life was changed forever.

As The Referee and I discussed health and fitness, I mentioned the Couch to 5K program for him as well. We decided to work the program together.

The first night we ran, we took turns running (jog/walking) around our neighborhood, with one of our older daughters riding their bicycle next to us. It did not take long to realize that would not be a very safe option. A couple days later, we drove over to nice park that has a big field with a sidewalk "track" around it. We took turns jog/walking the track and supervising the kids on the playground equipment. That environment is wonderful.

Sadly, my fitness level is so low that I am taking 2 weeks just to complete the 1st week level. The program is divided into 9 weeks. On week 9, we run 3 miles, 3 times that week. At first, that was hard to imagine. Now, it seems possible.

For the 1st week, I went 3 times to work out, but I was unable to keep up the walk/jog pace for the full 20 minutes. After the 2nd time I went to work out, my ankles and shins were really sore. I skipped the following evening and went to bed early instead. I think my body was in shock. The rest helped. I can already tell my ankles are getting stronger.

Last night, I went to work out for what would normally be the first workout of week 2, but is instead the 1st workout of me repeating week 1. I am stunned at how much my ability to jog has improved already. I was strong for the first half the workout. I am amazed. I am no longer whining about being so out of shape that I can't even complete week 1.....now I am inspired to actually keep going. Wow.

Even though I never wanted to be a runner, I am drawn to the idea because of it being an efficient way to keep in shape. I know many folks in their 40's who are maintaining good fitness by running a few days a week. I see how it works.

Focusing on fitness instead of weight loss is so much more fun. I did not lose a single pound the entire first week. The Referee gained 2 pounds, I think. He was bummed. I was encouraged because I was already starting to feel better, and my clothes were fitting better somehow. The Referee agreed that was true of him too.

Starting a couple days ago, the numbers on the scale are now dropping daily. It is small drops, but it is drops. I will take it!

....But....I am not ready to discuss my addiction to Mountain Dew! I am going to need a whole different program for that.

Blast From The Past

I just can't help myself. I am totally excited over some of these pictures I borrowed from The Referee's cousin at the anniversary party last weekend. She put together a beautiful slide show of photographs of the family through the years. I hardly have any photos from The Referee's childhood, so I jumped at the chance to copy the files she had.

The Referee...

Us together....
I was tan from lifeguarding in the first picture. The cap-n-gown picture is from our college graduation. The family photo at the end was taken a month before Jersey #2's first open-heart surgery....before we knew about her heart defect.

And this picture of our older 3 kids is one of my favorites. Jersey #1 was 3 years old. Jersey #2 was 21 months old. Jersey #3 was 1 month old. I have not been able to re-create this pose with all the kids, now that there are more of them and they are older. Pudgy cheeks and dimples. I love it!

I just love to look at photos of my family. It is so neat to see where we are and how far we've come.

Don't Walk Away

My mind has been circling around and around on one topic lately: walking away. I have to make my peace with it, so that I can get some sleep tonight. So, I am going to try writing it out.

I really don't think walking away is the answer.

As a mother, I cringe at the popular child rearing advice to put a child in the crib and walk away.

This has been recommended as a way to sleep train an infant, or away to discipline a toddler. I've even heard that it is the "pediatrician-approved" method of handling a trantruming child in a grocery store. Just walk away and let them tantrum. Walk away and send a clear message that you do not approve of their behavior.

It sounds cruel to me.

I think it sends the message that love is conditional. That a mother will only love you and care for you when you are behaving a specific way.

I would much rather be in the throes of chaos with my children, teaching them, training them, disciplining them, and letting them know that I love them no matter what. I do not expect my kids to be perfect in order to get my attention and affection.

I want my kids to know that there is no mistake big enough to remove my love for them. I am here for the long haul.

I attribute this passion to my Christian world view. God's love is unconditional. He chastises us, punishes us, and lets us suffer the natural consequences of our actions, but He does not walk away from us.

We are known to walk away from Him, though. That seems to be a human response. It is even taught: walk away to calm down so that you do not over react in a tense situation. Sounds like good advice? It is certainly good advice to control our anger and not resort to violence. But, is walking away the only way to accomplish that self-control? Do we take this walking away concept too far? Do we walk away as a way to punish our loved ones?

I can't stand it when my husband walks away from an argument with me. He may be utilizing that advice about taking space to calm down. But, it always feels like he is walking away from our relationship. Walking away from his commitment. Removing his love from me.

Is that what a child feels when we leave them alone in their bed as a punishment for misbehavior?

Walking away from my children or walking away from my spouse seems to inappropriate to me, no matter what the trouble. But, I realize that it is easier to consider walking away as the relationship broadens.

Walking away from extended family due to a dispute is appropriate, right? We will just call that good boundaries.

Walking away from our church, after being hurt by a fellow church member is acceptable, right? We can just hop on over to a new church that hasn't offended us (yet). Or, if we have church hopped multiple times, maybe it is best to just walk away from church in general. They are all the same. Filled with people who misbehave.

What I am reminding myself of tonight, is that my love for others should be unconditional. It should not be based on their behavior. I should love them no matter what. That is the love of Christ. That is what is lacking in so many relationships.

Since I view walking away as body language for removing love, then I had better stay put. Be there for the long haul.

Stay. Love.

Don't Walk Away.

Water Fun

July is filled with summer heat. Now that Jersey #2's surgery incisions are healed, we are keeping cool with some water fun.


(Yes that is Granny having a water fight with her grandbabies!)

Precious Family Photos

We took a little day-trip yesterday to visit the town where The Referee grew up. Most of his family still live there. His paternal side of the family were gathering for an anniversary party for his grandparents, who are celebrating 60 years of marriage this month. His family is very efficient in their gatherings. They arrive, eat, take pictures together, view a sideshow of family pictures, then leave. Some stayed behind to clean up. The entire event barely lasted 2 hours. There was no hanging out playing board games, or basketball, or even telling jokes, or a drunken brawl. It is so much different than any of my own family's reunions. I am glad we were able to attend the party, because we were able to see some folks we don't see very often, and especially because I managed to get a few precious family photos while we were there.

This is a picture of The Referee's father, and our children. Jersey #4 and Jersey #5 were meeting their grandfather for the first time...

Thanks to The Referee's quick thinking, I was able to get a 4-generation photo too. It is such a rarity that they are all gathered in one location at the same time, that this is only the 2nd time I have been able to take such a photo in the 5 years of Jersey #3's life. This photo contains the oldest son (Jersey #3) of the oldest son (The Referee) of the oldest son...

And thankfully, when parents fall short in their responsibilities sometimes, God fills our needs with other loving folk. This is a picture of The Referee with his Uncle and Aunt, who have been big influences throughout his life. They tell me stories of babysitting him when he was young, and training him in martial arts as he grew up. This Uncle is the only man in The Referee's family who was willing to hug him, and look at pictures of our daughter, Mackenzie, after she was stillborn, and try to comfort him in his grief. He also demonstrated ways to honor your father, in spite of pain and bitterness about what should have been. He speaks politely of The Referee's father, or he holds his tongue. He inquires about The Referee's life, listens intently like he actually cares, and smiles and cheers every achievement. The Referee is relaxed when he is around this Aunt and Uncle, and laughs whenever he shares stories about growing up around them...

Movie Night

We took the kids to the movie theater last night, to see the new Toy Story 3 movie. We have been big fans of Woody, Jessie, and Buzz Lightyear, so there was much excitement about this movie.

With the size of our family, and the price of entertainment, going to the movie theater is a very RARE treat. We don't even average once a year. We usually only go for the most exciting movies. I had earned 2 free adult admission passes from donating blood for the past year. Jersey #5 is still free, since he is under the age of 3. So, we only had to purchase 4 child tickets. Splurging on popcorn/soda packs at the concession stand ended up costing a little more than we paid for the tickets!

I am not sure if it was because the quality of the animated movie was that great, or if it was because the kids are all at easier ages, or maybe a combination of things, but this was the absolute best movie theater experience we have ever had. It was a real treat. I only had to get up from my seat one time to take Jersey #2 and Jersey #4 to the restroom. They were so eager to not miss the movie, that they ran to the restroom, conducted business as quickly as possible, and ran back to their seats. The kids sat in their seats and held their snack packs, and enjoyed the entire movie. Even Jersey #5 was enthralled. He only stood up from his seat a couple times, but did not wander off. He just stood and watched the movie, then eventually climbed onto The Referee's lap until the end of the show. We had a blast.

There were a few preparations that took place to help things run smoothly. The younger 3 kids had a restful afternoon, including the boys taking a good nap. We ate dinner before going to the theater, and finishing their dinner was the requirement before popcorn and soda would be allowed. This cut down the complaints about hunger pains or tummy aches. We had the kids all use the restroom as soon as we entered the theater, before they received any concession treats. (We also visited the restroom immediately after the movie, before heading home). This cut down on random, repeat trips to the restroom while the movie was playing. We chose an off-peak time to visit the theater....an evening that is not as busy, a couple weeks after the movie was released....to avoid the crowds. We staggerd our seating so that The Referee and I were next to Jersey #5 and Jersey #4, to help hold their seats down. They do not weigh enough to control the seat from folding up with them inside. Purchasing individual snack packs gave each child an equal amount of snacks, to cut down on the temptation of competition and greed over a shared, limited resource. Plus, we planned, saved, and prepared for the costs, so that The Referee and I were not in shock at the cash register. (Ok, we are still a bit shocked by movie theater prices in general, but we had the expense covered in our budget.)

The movie was fantastic. The suspense and drama captured the younger kids' attention. The sad story line of changing relationships as Andy prepared to go off to college, had Jersey #1 visibly crying. (She is a sensitive child who cries at sad movies, just like her Mama). Buzz Lightyear in Spanish mode had Jersey #2 laughing continuously. The children could not wait to come home and reenact parts of the movie with their own Woody, Jessie, and Buzz toys.

What a wonderful family movie night.

Dental Blessings

This is what Jersey #4 looks like following dental work. The left side of her mouth was quite numb.

(My sister jokes that Slurpees must have healing powers for our family....because that is what the kids are often pictured with after medical and dental procedures. It is funny that they all seem to ask for a Slurpee after a procedure where they have had to have empty stomachs. They drink them down quickly, rehydrating, and settling their tummies too.)

Taking Jersey #4 to the dentist this morning was a huge deal.

Huge.

I was very worried about her cooperation.....or, really, her lack of cooperation.

We have a fantastic pediatric dentist. This is a good thing too, because we also have terrible teeth genetics. So, we spend a lot more time with our pediatric dentist than most folks experience. Our pediatric dentist really wants the kids to learn healthy teeth care, in a positive environment. His office is kid-friendly in its design and decor. There are prizes, gifts, and goodies a plenty there. The hygienists are the most patient people I have ever met. They take great care to show the kids all the tools and instruments and sounds before they experience them in the big chair. The hygienists are also very organized. They have every single tool ready to go, so that the dentist can work as efficiently as possible. The level of teamwork among that staff is incredible.

When a very young child needs dental work, our dentist will do the work at a day surgery clinic, with the child under general anesthesia. This is what we have been through with both Jersey #2 and Jersey #3, for different reasons. The benefit is that the child does not remember the procedure, and does not develop a fear of the dentist. For older kids, who can be more cooperative, there are levels of conscious sedation medication to help them relax and be drowsy for procedures.

Jersey #4 was 3 years old when her dental needs were discovered. She had a fairly large cavity that needed attention, as well as a smaller cavity on a different tooth. The good news was that she only had the two problems to deal with, not a whole bunch like her siblings. The bad news was that she was still too nervous to sit in that big chair, even after visiting twice for cleanings.

The dentist recommended attempting to treat her in the office, instead of the surgical option. It is better to avoid general anesthesia if we can help it. Her age and ability to cooperate was there, but her willingness to cooperate was the concern. The dentist hoped that giving her sedation medication prior to the procedure might help with her cooperation. I agreed, because we want the least invasive methods possible.

The problem is what to do if she refuses to cooperate in the midst of the procedure. If the dentist was already started into the work on her teeth, she would need to be restrained so that he could complete the work. This was something I had to understand and agree to before choosing the in-office procedure.

Restrained. That is the big topic that comes up in any conversation about pediatric dentists. There are a few in town who are known for having parents authorize restraints, even for lack of cooperation for cleanings. The idea of restraining a child to a dentist chair brings up images of torture, as well as a lasting fear and hatred of going to the dentist. I have always advised my Mommy friends to avoid any dentist who does not let you go back with the child for cleanings and procedures. And to avoid any who require you sign a restraint agreement from the beginning of a routine cleaning visit. I have never thought restraining a child at the dentist was a good idea...

...Until I was put in this position of restraint versus general anesthesia, for minimal dental work. Wow. Just when I thought I knew it all, I am always thrown for a loop.

Ultimately, I agreed to attempt the in-office procedure. I agreed to the sedation medication in advance of the procedure. And I agreed to allow Jersey #4 to be restrained, if she refused to cooperate in the midst of the procedure.

I rationalized the decision with the fact that our family has been going to this same pediatric dentist for over 6 years. This is the first restraint recommendation he has ever mentioned to me. I know his goals of the least invasive, least traumatic procedures possible. Trust is already established there. I inquired about the method of restraint, and learned they would use a blanket to wrap Jersey #4 like a papoose, so that her arms could not flail. The hygienist was also quick to point out that they would work very hard to re-earn Jersey #4's trust, so that she did not despise going to the dentist. I was glad they had a plan to help her overcome the trauma of such an experience. Unfortunately for Jersey #4, this decision was being made a month prior to Jersey #2's open-heart surgery, so being swaddled like a papoose in a dentist chair, just did not have as much traumatic weight.

Knowing that Jersey #4 is not a very forgiving child, my biggest fear was that she would develop a hatred for going to the dentist. I did not want that for her. That was the most troubling side effect of the entire decision.

I tried to prepare Jersey #4 in advance. As I went over her teeth...brushing them myself, after she brushes them first....I talked to her about going to the dentist and sitting in the big chair. Three days before her appointment, I started explaining to her that the dentist needed to fix her tooth. I started to prep her for what to expect. I prayed for cooperation from her.

When I woke her up this morning, I told her it was time to get dressed and go to the dentist. I assured her she was a big girl and she was going to do great sitting in that big chair and opening her mouth. She replied, "No, not today."

We are doomed!

As we drove over there, I debated with myself as to how to approach this boundary with her. Do I go the positive, cheerleader, encouraging route? Or do I go the firm, this-is-the-limit-and-you-must-obey route? Jersey #4 is a VERY strong-willed child, so I had to pick my battle carefully and prepare for war. She would pounce on any wishy-washy response from me.

I chose the cheering path. I approached the entire experience from the perspective that I believed she was a big girl and she could handle this. It is the same approach I take with Jersey #2, for all of her medical experiences. It can be hard, because I am sensitive to their fears, and I want to cry for them. But, any catering to their fears gives them the false impression that they can get out of the procedure, so that makes the battle worse. So, I stood firm in my position that Jersey #4 could handle this. I praised her and encouraged her every step of the way.

I took a step back and let Jersey #4 interact with the hygienists first, so that I could gauge her level of cooperation. Much to my surprise, she was a trooper. She answered their questions, and followed their instructions during all the vital signs readings. I praised her for being such a big girl. She picked out a movie to watch, took her medicine (looking at me to make sure she really had to drink all of it), and settled right in. The medicine worked great on her, and she became quite loopy about 10 minutes before they called her back for her procedure.

With her new-found boldness at the dentist, I let her follow the hygienist down the hall, and I walked behind them. I did not direct Jersey #4 at all. She was listening to the hygienist and following all the instructions. She climbed up into that big chair, no problem. I praised her and covered her with her blanket, and handed her the stuffed animal we brought. I scooted my chair close by her side, and patted her leg and told her I would be right beside her the entire time. She relaxed and cooperated just fine.

The hygienist asked me if Jersey #4 was always so polite and cooperative. I nearly fell out of my chair laughing at that description. Um, no, quite the opposite. I shared that this was the first time Jersey #4 had ever even sat in the big chair, so I had been preparing for her to be restrained. The hygienist was as surprised by my answer as I was by her question. Are we even discussing the same child?

Jersey #4 was cooperative for the dentist too. He was very efficient in his work, so it did not take long. All of my worries about restraining her were unnecessary. She didn't even so much as cry or complain, so restraining her was not even considered. There was only one time when she did not respond to the dentist's request. He reached over and turned down her level of laughing gas. She was not responding to him, because she was falling asleep. When the procedure was over, they continued to give her pure oxygen to help wake her up. She took a nap in the chair instead. She even snored. She was quite relaxed. When she woke up more, she picked out a couple prizes. She was still fairly loopy as we were leaving, so I had to hold her hand as we walked out to the van. She has not taken many medications in her 3 years of life, since she is a pretty healthy kid, so those meds had a strong effect on her.

I praised her heavily for how good she did at the dentist. The dentist and all of the hygienists praised her too. She left with a big smile on her face. It was obvious she was mighty proud of herself. I am so proud of her too.

Kitchen project

I planned a frugal kitchen remodeling project for the 4th of July weekend. The Referee had an extra day off from work, giving us 3 full days to work on the kitchen.

This is what our kitchen looked like BEFORE...

I have never been very happy with the kitchen from the time we first moved in, over 4 years ago. Other than replacing appliances, it has not had much care over the years. The cabinets are old and narrow, and there are not many of them. I like the look of wood cabinets, not white. There is not much counter space either. The one long counter is too far away from any electrical outlets to be able to hold small appliances. The floor tile is old and coming unglued and broken in spots. And, I won't even begin to explain how dirty and cluttered the kitchen always seems to be.

At least 4 times a year, I browse home improvement websites, trying to figure out how to remodel the kitchen. The cost is usually so high, that it has not yet fit into the budget. Then, just over a month ago, a friend posted pictures on Facebook of the work her family has been doing on their new home, and it included painting walls in the kitchen red. I had not considered such an idea before. She also had white cabinets. Her pictures gave me the idea to paint the walls of our kitchen red, and repaint the cabinets white. I already had red dish towels and accents, so the color scheme was perfect for my taste. After discussing the idea with The Referee, we decide that we could repaint the kitchen and also re-tile the floor with the vinyl sticky tiles, all in one weekend. We decided to replace the cabinet handles too. That should spice up our kitchen a bit and make it nicer to use until we really can afford a complete overhaul kitchen remodel.

We went out earlier in the week and shopped for paint colors and cabinet knobs. I decided on a paint swatch color I liked, and went back and bought the paint so we had it in advance. Then, the kids and I started wiping down the cabinets and walls...

I decided to start painting Thursday evening. I am glad I decided to start early, because I immediately discovered a paint problem. The paint in the can was NOT the color I had selected. Instead of ruby red, it was orangy. The Referee took it back to the store and learned that they had just switched over their paint formulas and were having great difficulty creating the red in their swatches. Folks had been returning cans of red paint for 2 days. They gave him another color that was suppose to be real close to what we wanted. It was purplish.

After trying another store, I came home with a pinkish red colored paint that did not work either. Friday morning, The Referee went to a 3rd store with our original swatch in hand, and asked if they could mix up the color we wanted. They did. It was perfect.

I started painting Friday afternoon. I had one wall complete by the time The Referee returned from work. The kids were happy to help too...

Actually, the kids were SO eager to help, that I learned it was much easier to stay up late in the night and paint while they were asleep. I finished all of the red walls and started the white trim before going to bed at 2am.

Even though I had the paint supplies covered....and, I thought I had the kitchen blocked off well enough to keep the kids and the dog out....Jersey #5 managed to "help" early Saturday morning, without supervision...

His work looked more like graffiti to me. He also sampled the paint while he was at it. When I caught him, I asked him what was he doing. His answer, "I paint." He was proud for a split second....until everyone else's gasps and reaction gave him the clear message that he was in trouble. The Referee took the paint roller out of Jersey #5's hand, and everyone stood frozen to see what I was going to do. I grabbed my camera and took a picture. It wasn't funny to me at the time, but I thought that surely it would be funny later.

It was a little setback to have to redo the red on that wall. I had quite a bit of pink to work through before the wall looked uniform red again. We finished the white cabinets after that. A new coat of paint made those cabinets look new again. Changing out the cabinet handles for painted red knobs was a fun improvement. We also replaced a few outlet covers to make them all match.

We saved the flooring for Monday. The kitchen floor had vinyl tile on top of former tile. The original tile was secured to the cement floor base real well. The top layer of tile was coming up and breaking off in places. The Referee scraped the top layer off the whole floor so that we could lay new vinyl tile over top the original. There were a few corners of the kitchen that revealed that maybe there were even other layers of tile in the past. As he was working around the free-standing cabinet, he got the idea to try to lift it up a little so I could scrape the bits of tile that were stuck under it. When he did this, I questioned if that cabinet was even secured to the floor. It took both of us to move it, but it did move. It was not secured to the floor at all. Well, THAT discovery opened up new ideas for the lay-out of the kitchen.

It also opened up wall space that needed red paint. And floor space that was missing a layer of tile....

We decided to move that cabinet over to the wall so that it would make better use out of that wall space and be closer to electrical outlets. It also opened up the space between the kitchen and dining room, making the kitchen seem much bigger than before.

After painting some more, scraping old tile, and laying new tile, we put the cabinet in its new location and arranged the small appliances on the countertops.

The completed kitchen project has totally amazed to us all. It does not even look like our old kitchen. It looks so different...

I find that washing dishes, cooking meals, and washing laundry is so much nicer in our "new" kitchen.

Happy Anniversary

We have been married for 12 years....

We celebrated our anniversary in a variety of meaningful ways.

We purchased ourselves Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University home study kit. We shredded our credit cards and vowed to live debt free and within our means almost a year ago. We are hoping that the FPU class will help us learn even more about managing our finances better.

We rolled up our sleeves and worked on a "frugal" kitchen remodel project that included repainting the walls and cabinets, and re-tiling the floor.

We took our friends (who also happen to be our Pastor and his wife) out to dinner last night. We wanted to thank them for all of their help over the past few years. They have both intervened on behalf of our marriage, and mentored us to conquer the challenges. I firmly believe that their willingness to speak up to remind us of God's design for marriage, and the responsibilities of husbands and wives, in such a loving way, is one of the biggest reasons we are able to celebrate our anniversary this year. Their suggestion that we consider a visit to the doctor, instead of a visit to the lawyer was pivotal. When a spouse is suffering with depression, it can destroy a marriage. Thankfully, that biological challenge is easy to treat. Good friends are ones who will speak up when they see the warning signs. I am forever grateful to them both. This year was one of the happiest anniversaries we have ever celebrated, because we have hope for a brighter future together.

Since our Wedding Anniversary also falls on the 4th of July holiday, we enjoyed a church picnic and fireworks too.

There was lots of food....

Water fun on the slip-n-slide...

and FIRE....I mean, fireworks!

Well, actually, we saw a real fire too. Some other folks in the neighborhood accidentally set some weeds on fire with their fireworks display. Thankfully, they had a hose nearby and put out the flames quickly. We were able to see most of the fireworks displays from around the entire city. It seems that this year was one of the best displays ever.

Happy Anniversary to US!

Happy 4th of July to all!

Toddler Tantrum

This adorable little fella can throw the biggest fits for the strangest reasons.

The other day, Jersey #5 came to our bedroom at 5am. I noticed his diaper was soggy, so I changed him. He then climbed into our bed, where The Referee was still asleep. I went to use the restroom before returning to bed.

As I approached my side of the bed, I saw that Jersey #5 had positioned himself exactly center on my pillow, on my side of the bed. He had a mischievous smirk on his face as he watched me approach. I told him to scoot over to the middle of the bed, so I could lay down too.

He said "No."

I nudged him a little.

He resisted my nudge and yelled "No" even louder.

Um, yeah, well he is a toddler and I am a Mom. I simply scooted him over with my hands and proceeded to climb back into bed.

Jersey #5 started to scream, and tried to roll into me to take my spot back. It did not work.

He then spent the next 2 minutes pushing against me while screaming and thrashing, attempting to get me to move.

I told him to be quiet.

He yelled more.

The Referee told him to be quiet.

Jersey #5 continued to yell.

I informed him that I had the solution to his problem....this was MY bed. And, he has HIS bed. If he didn't like it he was welcome to go sleep in his own bed.

He continued to scream and tantrum, and push against my back.

I scooped him up and carried him to his own bed. I reminded him that if he wanted to be loud and scream and tantrum, he could do that in his own bed, but I was going to sleep.

I returned to my bed and settled in.

Jersey #5 continued yelling while climbing back out of his bed. He was very MAD. He did not appreciate the limit I just set. He started to calm as he was walking down the hall to our room. I warned him that he had better be quiet or I was taking him back to his own bed.

He was still fussing (but much quieter than before) as he climbed into the middle of our bed.

As he nestled his head onto the pillow, I patted his back and said, "Shhhh..."

He quieted down immediately, and fell asleep within a couple minutes.

He slept in an hour extra that morning.

He woke up smiling and cheerful.

Apparently he thought it would be fun to have an early-morning power struggle with Mom.

Sometimes I am highly entertained by the gall of toddlers.

Wedding Anniversaries

On the 4th of July, The Referee and I will celebrate 12 years of marriage!

I was recently asked if I chose that wedding date so that The Referee would be less likely to forget. It is a common joke. I hear it almost every year.

I have commented that at least we always get our anniversary off from work, since it is a national holiday and all.

My Mom jokes that it is one way that you are sure to see fireworks on your wedding night.

In reality, the story behind the 4th of July wedding date is not that exciting. It just so happens that the Saturday of that particular holiday weekend, the year we were planning to wed, was actually the 4th. So, we went with it.

The story behind choosing the 4th of July weekend for our wedding goes a tiny bit deeper--it is a fairly common wedding weekend in both of our families. The vast majority of our relatives have that weekend off from work, regardless of the nature of their jobs. It is the best time of year to gather the most family members together in celebration.

Today, the 1st of July, The Referee's grandparents celebrate 60 years of marriage!

On the 3rd of July, my parents celebrate 36 years of marriage!

On the 4th of July, The Referee and Coach Mom celebrate 12 years of marriage!

THAT is a family legacy worth celebrating.