Weight!

I need to vent.

Brace yourself.

I joined a gym and started exercising regularly.  I need to lose weight.  I really wanted to lose my "mother's apron" (that wimpy flap of tummy fat that is the result of many, frequent pregnancies, and 2 c-section surgeries.....and the fact that I did nothing to improve my tummy region between each such event). 

I did not struggle with weight or fitness issues in high school because I played sports.  One winter, during swim season, our swim team was required to participate in step aerobics classes at the gym, while our pool was being super-treated with chemicals.  I had a blast.  I learned that I really enjoyed step aerobics classes.  That is a fun way to "dance" without actually knowing how to dance. 

Knowing this history about myself, I decided to try out some group fitness classes when I joined the gym.  I like group fitness classes.  I am a social creature.  I like being around other people, even if they are strangers.  I like following a work-out routine.  I like the upbeat music.  I like having a class to attend, as a way to schedule a workout.  

I was not prepared for just how out-of-shape I am.  The first couple classes, I was certain that my body would never recover.  I actually laughed at myself when I went to get into the push-up position, and my arms gave way, dropping me to the floor.  My body simply refused to boost myself up after that.  I could only lay splat on the floor and giggle.  For most of the exercises, I could not rely on my abdominal muscles to support my body in any way.  I had no abs to speak of.  Actually, I think I found my rib muscles (intercostals) before I fount my abs. 

Unfortunately, I did not lose weight.

I gained.

At first, I told myself that I was simply building muscle, and muscle weighs more than fat.  Eventually, that muscle will kick in and help burn calories.  I know I build muscle easily, so I believed myself at first.

3 weeks of working out 3 times a week, and I gained 12 pounds.  I was SO discouraged I was about to cry.  I was actually in the middle of an aerobics class when I said to myself that this was clearly not working.  It was that same class that I also realized I was able to do more of the routine, and I was able to do more push-ups.  So, I told myself that clearly my fitness was improving.

My clothes were also getting looser.  I was pleased by how much my lower tummy was tightening up too.  That was a huge indicator for me that things were going in the right direction.  But, I was still so bummed about the weight gain.  I joked about throwing the scale out the window, at first.  Then, I had a meltdown.  I was so discouraged that The Referee actually went and looked up information on the internet to see if he could help me.

He learned that it is quite common to gain weight in the first 3 weeks of working out....especially for women.  (That is so unfair!  The Referee can do 1 set of crunches and drop 5 pounds.  I go to aerobics classes for 3 weeks and gain weight.  Did I mention it is not fair!)  He encouraged me to keep going, convinced I was about to turn a corner. 

I felt better with that knowledge, and decided to stay the course and wait for the muscle to kick in and help me out.  Just to make sure I was not eating more now that I was working out, I started watching my portions more, and adding salads.  I gained 3 more pounds.

4 weeks of working out, and I had a net gain of 15 pounds.  Honestly, I would have totally given up, if it wasn't for how good I felt, and how much I could actually see my stomach shrinking.  I decided my scale must be broken.  I bought a new one.

My scale was not broken.  The new scale actually weighed me a pound heavier than the old scale!

5 weeks of working out, a new scale, drinking more water, adding salad to my packed lunches for work, and a net gain of 16 pounds.  I was a prime candidate for a pity party.  The only thing keeping me from sinking into a state of despair was the fact that my abdomen was visibly shrinking.  It really is a good thing that my body tackled the "mother's apron" first, because that was the part that was plaguing me the most.  Plus, I had more strength to play with the kids.  So, I knew the workouts were helping.

I was having a hard time.  I started to doubt if my abdomen was actually shrinking, or was it a figment of my imagination.  The scale doesn't lie.  And, I was worse off.

I decided to put my body to the test:  denim

I went shopping for blue jeans at a department store.  I did not order jeans from an online store that specializes in plus-size women's clothing.  I went to the mall.  It was a make it or break it moment.

I made it.  I got my proof.

I dropped an entire pants size!

This is huge for me.  I went on a bit of a shopping spree.  Well, a shopping spree for me (which means everything was on sale).  I bought 2 new pairs of jeans to wear to work, a pair of jean shorts, and 2 shirts.  Everything was a size smaller than I previously wore.  The jeans and shorts were button/zip too....not elastic waist pull-up pants.  That is huge.  That was proof that the workouts were working, and my flabby tummy was definitely shrinking.

I still have no clue why my weight went up.  It did at least plateau at the 6-week point.  I am thankful for that.

The icing on the cake for this ironic misery I am enduring occurred last week.  Life got out of hand, causing me to miss my gym workouts.  

I went 8 days straight without entering the gym.

I dropped 2 pounds!

I don't know if I should laugh or scream.