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Jersey #3 is 6 years old today!

Happy Birthday Jersey #3.

It is shocking to realize he has grown so much, so fast.

It is also shocking to realize that life with him is getting so much easier as he grows up. I hope this trend continues.

Jersey #3 shot into this world like a rocket. The medical term is "precipitous delivery." The reality is that he was born way too fast for his own good. He struggled to transition from womb to world. As he grows up, there are still points where he struggles to adjust to the ways of the world.

Jersey #3 is the child who humbled me. When I was raising 2 daughters with easy-going personalities, friendly dispositions, and enjoyment of social situations, I thought that it was my amazing parenting skills that made them so easy to manage in public. I loved them greatly. They adjusted to situations well. I thought there was a connection there. I actually thought that mothers of clingy, hysterical children must be doing something wrong to allow their children to act that way.

God has a way of decreasing our pride issues. In my case, he blessed me with Jersey #3.....a very high maintenance, clingy, unsocial, boy who became instantly hysterical if anyone else (other than his parents) tried to hold him or care for him. Jersey #3 lacked self-soothing skills of any sort. He tried to nurse his way to comfort...24 hours a day. He barely slept for any length of time at all. He drained the energy, the life, and the pride right out of me, until I was forced to drop to my knees.

I dropped many activities and stayed home with my children more, the entire first year of Jersey #3's life. He refused to go to any form of childcare, even with me on the premises. So, I dropped MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). I dropped Bible studies. I dropped Christian Women's Luncheons. I did not join a homeschool group. I only went places where Jersey #3 could cling to me like Velcro.

The standard advice I was given was to just leave him....just lay him down and let him "cry it out"....and eventually he would learn to accept that I was not abandoning him. Eventually, he would learn the schedule. Eventually, he would learn to sooth himself. That advice did not settle well in my soul. I caved to the "wisdom" anyway, at first. I took him to the childcare at MOPS. He screamed hysterically to the point that other Moms were going to the nursery to make sure it was not their child who was so upset. The same sweet, veteran Moms who assured me that he would adjust to their care with time and consistency, eventually just brought him to me because he was so hysterical and could not calm down until he was safe in my arms again. At another event, after I walked into the nursery to find him screaming hysterically, alone in a crib, being ignored by the caregivers, I finally accepted the conviction that he was not going to cry his way to comfort. He needed his mother's comfort. That was the turning point for me where I realized that I needed to go against the conventional wisdom and trust my own intuition to do what was best for my child. Jersey #3 needed to be soothed, and then taught to soothe, on his own developmental time line. It was my job to meet him where he was, give him what he needed to grow, and keep encouraging him in the right direction.

So, the child who humbled me also gave me the greatest confidence in my mothering skills. The moment that I let go of the rules for the "right" way of doing things, I was free to just be the best Mom to my own children, regardless of the viewpoints of others.

He took longer than the standard developmental timeline. But, Jersey #3 eventually learned to sleep through the night (at age 15 months). He eventually accepted a teen babysitter for temporary care (at 11 months). He eventually joined a group activity with his peers, without clinging to Mom (at 3 years old). He eventually put himself to sleep in his own bed, for his naps (at 2 years old). He eventually potty trained (at 3.5 years old).

He has yet to learn how to go longer than 2 hours, during the day, without some sort of meal or snack.

Jersey #3 continues to be a hearty eater. He breastfed well. He took a bottle well. He did not care about the source of his breastmilk, just as long as the food kept coming his way. We started him on baby cereal at 3.5 months of age, earlier than any of his siblings, after trying every other idea our pediatrician suggested. He was consuming 52 ounces of breastmilk per day by 2 months old. He was milk fat. He was cute and chubby. Even when we started solids, he acted as if jars of baby food were about as filling as water. By 5 months of age, we were blending meat and potatoes for this boy. He had no issue with texture. He did not gag. He ate food right from a spoon as if he was born with that skill. Then, he smiled and cooed, and sang with contentment. We fed him anything and everything that we were eating at mealtime.

As long as he was in close proximity to his parents, and being fed heartily, Jersey #3 was the happiest child. He has a joy for life. His smile brightened the world. His insecurities waned slowly but surely. He eventually emerged out from his shell, and began to interact socially, with folks who knew him his whole life.

Jersey #3 taught me the meaning of "All Boy." It was an adjustment to have a son. He was rough and tumble, dirty, and thought most objects should be projectiles. He loves cars, trains, cowboys, and sports. Now that he is older, he is addicted to video games.

Jersey #3 is impulsive. He does not think through the consequences of his actions. He took a tricycle down a climbing mountain at a park, wrecked, and knocked 3 teeth loose. It is challenging to take him to the dentist, because he associates all sensations in his mouth as pain. He even says, "ow" when his teeth are being polished.

It seems that the major social differences between Jersey #3 and his older sisters lessened as he approached kindergarten age. Those first 5 years of raising a boy versus girls were very different. Over time, the gaps began to close. Jersey #3 eventually made a friend. He eventually started enjoying being around his peers. Then, he asked to invite a bunch of friends over to his house for his 6th birthday party. (His very social Mom was super-duper excited about this!)

He continues to eat every 2 hours or less. He continues to be a joyous child. Sometimes his emotions still get the best of him, and he needs guidance to calm back down. Sometimes he wants to play with friends at the park, and sometimes he wants to stay home and wear his pajamas all day. He is still impulsive. He is still "All Boy." He is still quirky. He continues to remind me that motherhood is a calling. He continues to bless my life.