I recently read "Born to Win," by Dr. Kevin Leman, as part of our family goal of reading 50 books this year. It was one of those books that just caught my eye in the store. I am a firstborn, so it intrigued me. Plus, it was on sale.
I liked this book so much, that I am excited to check our more of his books on relationships and birth order. It is a fascinating subject.
I was surprised to learn that he defines firstborn, not just in terms of actual birth order. He includes a "functional firstborn" as the first born of an opposite gender, as well as the first born after an age gap.
It is neat to see the way he lists all the advantages to being a firstborn, and all of the hindrances when things get out of balance. I could see so many traits of myself there....the good and the bad.
There were three components to this book that helped me out tremendously.
1) He constantly points out how the world requires folks of all birth orders. We need to appreciate our differences. Different strengths complement each other's different weaknesses.
2) Judgment: one of my greatest weaknesses is the critical eye and negative thoughts and judgment of others. I have learned to hold my tongue through the years, but I have not learned to stop the critical thoughts. I can find fault in anything, immediately. The opposite side to that trait is that I am defensive. I am braced and ready to stand up to the fault-finders criticizing my life. I knew I struggled with this problem. I did not realize it was considered related to being firstborn. This, of course, is one of the firstborn traits being out of balance, and a detriment.
3) Parenting: This book has really opened my eyes to ways that I respond to my kids and ways I can improve. There are traits of firstborns that can be encouraged in children of any birth order. I see where I need to reduce my critical eye and encourage my kids more. I was also pleased to see that I am on the right track to celebrate the uniqueness of each of my kids.
I liked this book so much, that I am excited to check our more of his books on relationships and birth order. It is a fascinating subject.
I was surprised to learn that he defines firstborn, not just in terms of actual birth order. He includes a "functional firstborn" as the first born of an opposite gender, as well as the first born after an age gap.
It is neat to see the way he lists all the advantages to being a firstborn, and all of the hindrances when things get out of balance. I could see so many traits of myself there....the good and the bad.
There were three components to this book that helped me out tremendously.
1) He constantly points out how the world requires folks of all birth orders. We need to appreciate our differences. Different strengths complement each other's different weaknesses.
2) Judgment: one of my greatest weaknesses is the critical eye and negative thoughts and judgment of others. I have learned to hold my tongue through the years, but I have not learned to stop the critical thoughts. I can find fault in anything, immediately. The opposite side to that trait is that I am defensive. I am braced and ready to stand up to the fault-finders criticizing my life. I knew I struggled with this problem. I did not realize it was considered related to being firstborn. This, of course, is one of the firstborn traits being out of balance, and a detriment.
3) Parenting: This book has really opened my eyes to ways that I respond to my kids and ways I can improve. There are traits of firstborns that can be encouraged in children of any birth order. I see where I need to reduce my critical eye and encourage my kids more. I was also pleased to see that I am on the right track to celebrate the uniqueness of each of my kids.
I read his book The Birth Order Book and enjoyed that too. He has some great insights. LOVE that you have set a goal to read 50 books this year. That's awesome. We love books. I can't seem to get enough of them. I'm reading some really amazing books right now ... I listed them on my webpage, if you're interested! ;-)
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