Exhausted

I think this picture sums up how we all feel after such an exciting, fun-filled weekend.

A visit from Granny & PawPaw. A birthday party. Easter. We had a lot going on.

Plus, there was getting the house ready for the party beforehand.....and The Referee having deadlines for a big project at work this week, and a big homework assignment for school.

Oh, yeah, and I also went to work in the lab this weekend too.

Yep. We are utterly exhausted. I predict it is going to take a few days to recover.

SIX

Jersey #3 is 6 years old today!

Happy Birthday Jersey #3.

It is shocking to realize he has grown so much, so fast.

It is also shocking to realize that life with him is getting so much easier as he grows up. I hope this trend continues.

Jersey #3 shot into this world like a rocket. The medical term is "precipitous delivery." The reality is that he was born way too fast for his own good. He struggled to transition from womb to world. As he grows up, there are still points where he struggles to adjust to the ways of the world.

Jersey #3 is the child who humbled me. When I was raising 2 daughters with easy-going personalities, friendly dispositions, and enjoyment of social situations, I thought that it was my amazing parenting skills that made them so easy to manage in public. I loved them greatly. They adjusted to situations well. I thought there was a connection there. I actually thought that mothers of clingy, hysterical children must be doing something wrong to allow their children to act that way.

God has a way of decreasing our pride issues. In my case, he blessed me with Jersey #3.....a very high maintenance, clingy, unsocial, boy who became instantly hysterical if anyone else (other than his parents) tried to hold him or care for him. Jersey #3 lacked self-soothing skills of any sort. He tried to nurse his way to comfort...24 hours a day. He barely slept for any length of time at all. He drained the energy, the life, and the pride right out of me, until I was forced to drop to my knees.

I dropped many activities and stayed home with my children more, the entire first year of Jersey #3's life. He refused to go to any form of childcare, even with me on the premises. So, I dropped MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). I dropped Bible studies. I dropped Christian Women's Luncheons. I did not join a homeschool group. I only went places where Jersey #3 could cling to me like Velcro.

The standard advice I was given was to just leave him....just lay him down and let him "cry it out"....and eventually he would learn to accept that I was not abandoning him. Eventually, he would learn the schedule. Eventually, he would learn to sooth himself. That advice did not settle well in my soul. I caved to the "wisdom" anyway, at first. I took him to the childcare at MOPS. He screamed hysterically to the point that other Moms were going to the nursery to make sure it was not their child who was so upset. The same sweet, veteran Moms who assured me that he would adjust to their care with time and consistency, eventually just brought him to me because he was so hysterical and could not calm down until he was safe in my arms again. At another event, after I walked into the nursery to find him screaming hysterically, alone in a crib, being ignored by the caregivers, I finally accepted the conviction that he was not going to cry his way to comfort. He needed his mother's comfort. That was the turning point for me where I realized that I needed to go against the conventional wisdom and trust my own intuition to do what was best for my child. Jersey #3 needed to be soothed, and then taught to soothe, on his own developmental time line. It was my job to meet him where he was, give him what he needed to grow, and keep encouraging him in the right direction.

So, the child who humbled me also gave me the greatest confidence in my mothering skills. The moment that I let go of the rules for the "right" way of doing things, I was free to just be the best Mom to my own children, regardless of the viewpoints of others.

He took longer than the standard developmental timeline. But, Jersey #3 eventually learned to sleep through the night (at age 15 months). He eventually accepted a teen babysitter for temporary care (at 11 months). He eventually joined a group activity with his peers, without clinging to Mom (at 3 years old). He eventually put himself to sleep in his own bed, for his naps (at 2 years old). He eventually potty trained (at 3.5 years old).

He has yet to learn how to go longer than 2 hours, during the day, without some sort of meal or snack.

Jersey #3 continues to be a hearty eater. He breastfed well. He took a bottle well. He did not care about the source of his breastmilk, just as long as the food kept coming his way. We started him on baby cereal at 3.5 months of age, earlier than any of his siblings, after trying every other idea our pediatrician suggested. He was consuming 52 ounces of breastmilk per day by 2 months old. He was milk fat. He was cute and chubby. Even when we started solids, he acted as if jars of baby food were about as filling as water. By 5 months of age, we were blending meat and potatoes for this boy. He had no issue with texture. He did not gag. He ate food right from a spoon as if he was born with that skill. Then, he smiled and cooed, and sang with contentment. We fed him anything and everything that we were eating at mealtime.

As long as he was in close proximity to his parents, and being fed heartily, Jersey #3 was the happiest child. He has a joy for life. His smile brightened the world. His insecurities waned slowly but surely. He eventually emerged out from his shell, and began to interact socially, with folks who knew him his whole life.

Jersey #3 taught me the meaning of "All Boy." It was an adjustment to have a son. He was rough and tumble, dirty, and thought most objects should be projectiles. He loves cars, trains, cowboys, and sports. Now that he is older, he is addicted to video games.

Jersey #3 is impulsive. He does not think through the consequences of his actions. He took a tricycle down a climbing mountain at a park, wrecked, and knocked 3 teeth loose. It is challenging to take him to the dentist, because he associates all sensations in his mouth as pain. He even says, "ow" when his teeth are being polished.

It seems that the major social differences between Jersey #3 and his older sisters lessened as he approached kindergarten age. Those first 5 years of raising a boy versus girls were very different. Over time, the gaps began to close. Jersey #3 eventually made a friend. He eventually started enjoying being around his peers. Then, he asked to invite a bunch of friends over to his house for his 6th birthday party. (His very social Mom was super-duper excited about this!)

He continues to eat every 2 hours or less. He continues to be a joyous child. Sometimes his emotions still get the best of him, and he needs guidance to calm back down. Sometimes he wants to play with friends at the park, and sometimes he wants to stay home and wear his pajamas all day. He is still impulsive. He is still "All Boy." He is still quirky. He continues to remind me that motherhood is a calling. He continues to bless my life.

Date with Mom

Jersey #4 and I finally made it out for our "Mommy Date."

I have been wanting to start a tradition of doing something fun with the kids one-on-one, the month of their birthday. I like the way that The Referee takes each kid out to lunch for their birthday. It is such a sweet tradition. I had to hurry up and figure out something for Jersey #4 and I to do together, because her birthday was in March, and Jersey #3's birthday is fast approaching.

Jersey #4 had received some money for her birthday, so I decided to take her out shopping, just the two of us. We had a blast.

Jersey #4 talked my ear off the entire time we were out. I did not realize that she narrates her entire day. As we walked from the van to the store, she took my hand and chatted about the things that she saw. She pointed out birds, cars, signs on store windows....everything was fascinating to her.

At the store, I explained how much money she had to spend. I was impressed by the way she spotted things that she knew her siblings would like. She knows them all so well. She took her time looking at every aisle in the toy section, and finally settled on a mermaid style doll that could go in the bathtub.

We stopped at the snack shop on our way out the door, and I opened her doll while we ate a pretzel with cheese. Jersey #4 loves dolls. She "swam" that mermaid all over the snack shop, and all the way to the van.

She thanked me at least 10 times for letting her buy a new doll. She is such a grateful child. She enjoyed having Mommy all to herself for a few hours. I enjoyed getting to know her even more.

Fun at the Park

I have been so busy lately that I almost skipped the picnic at the park with our homeschool group this week. While I was there, having fun with the kids and capturing the day on camera, I was so thankful that I made the effort to go after all. I think that was just the recreation we needed. Our schedule had become too serious. We enjoyed breaking out of the routine, and spending some time in fresh air and sunshine.

The kids were excited to show me their new skills. Jersey #1 can jump and reach the bars on her own. Jersey #3 can climb down the fire pole. Jersey #4 can pump her legs to go higher on the swing.

It was hard to capture a photo of Jersey #2 in action. That girl does not stay still for long. Yes, it is ironically funny that she is our heart patient, yet she has the most energy of all of our children (when her heart is working correctly). She stayed busy with her friends, and her wild imagination.

We packed a picnic lunch. I have been so together lately, that we are out of bread, and ended up using hot dog buns to make peanut butter & jelly sandwiches. The great part is that my kids do not think of it as Mom let us run out of bread.....instead, they think I am just cool and creative with their lunch!

Our homeschool co-op is known for their very organized classes and activities. The first time we attended a park day, I was shocked to see so many children playing at the same park. It was as full as a school yard at recess. Our children have a blast at co-op activities, and have plenty of friends to play with. This picnic was one of their best events. There were games and activities for all ages.

Craft time: (Yes, Jersey #3 is a Lefty)

Egg Hop game:

Sack races:

Egg-on-a-spoon relay:

Jersey #5 took this game very seriously. He did not want his egg to fall off the spoon.

Walking backwards with their eggs on a spoon

This day was so nice it made me excited about warmer weather, and looking forward to summer activities. Having fun with my kids is one of my favorite parts of motherhood.

Ouch!

This kid is a mess of bumps, bruises, and scrapes lately.

He and gravity are just not getting along very well, it seems.


I am not sure if it is because he appears to be going through a very fast growth spurt in height recently. I think that could be throwing off his balance and coordination.

Or, maybe, it is because he keeps trying to keep up with his older siblings and thinks he should be able to do a lot more than he really can.

Or, maybe he could just be a klutz. (If this were the case, he certainly gained that attribute from his Mama).

Whatever the source of the problem, the reality is that I am spending a lot of time cleaning (and kissing)"boo-boos" and applying band-aids. That is just for the big things.

Jersey #5 tends to brush off the little injuries.

I realize there is a whole school of thought that tells parents to not react to a child's injury....that if we don't gasp or make it into a big deal, then they won't register the level of pain and over-react. I have heard the stories of parents who cheer and clap when their child takes a hard tumble, so that the child does not get upset. They are so proud to share the story that their child learns to react with a smile instead of a cry.

I actually find that little psychology experiment to be rather disturbing.

I prefer to teach my children to listen to their bodies, and address problems according to their body's needs. Kids are pretty resilient. They know when an injury requires more than a kiss. They know when it is time to get back on the playground, or sit in Mommy's lap and regroup. I watch their cues in order to know how to tend to their needs.

Some kids are more dramatic than others. So, I also remind them that trips and tumbles are part of being a kid, and learning new skills.

Jersey #5 and I have a nice little "tumble routine" now.

He trips, falls, or otherwise hurts himself.

I ask "Are you Ok?"

He answers....1) "Yes, I Ok." Then, he gets up brushes his hands across his shirt, then runs off to play......or 2) "No. I hurt." Then, he cries and comes to me with open arms for some assistance.

We've got the communication part down.

Now, we just need to figure out the coordination to keep him on his feet a bit more.

Big Sister Training

The kids and I went to a picnic event with our homeschool co-op today. It was a beautiful, sunny day to picnic and play at the park.

There were organized games, including a relay race for the older kids. Divided into 2 teams, the kids had to race across the field, pushing a sock doll in a stroller, all while carrying an umbrella. They were suppose to "keep baby out of the rain" by holding the umbrella over the baby, and pushing the stroller at the same time. They turned the corner around an orange cone, and then raced back to their next teammate in line. If the stroller tipped, or the baby fell out, they had to stop and re-adjust everything before they could begin again.

I laughed hysterically. It was a fun game. The kids had a blast. But, I laughed so much just at my own daughters, and how they approached the game. Their personalities certainly came through when it was their time to race.

Jersey #1 was stunning. She has some mad stroller skills, that is for sure. Being the big sister to 4 younger siblings, certainly gave her an advantage. She pushed that sock baby in the stroller with one hand, and held the umbrella with her other hand. She raced ahead of the other team, and nearly gained a half-lap. She maneuvered that stroller with one hand as if it only needed one hand. She even turned the corner without so much as a tip or stumble.

Meanwhile, the other team had serious trouble keeping that stroller upright, keeping the umbrella in their hands, and even keeping the baby in the stroller. Either sock baby or umbrella were toppling to the ground every few steps. It was highly entertaining to watch the children attempt to maneuver all of these items together. Watching the other children struggle, made me realize just how skilled Jersey #1 is at "stroller driving."

For her turn, Jersey #2 took hold of the stroller and umbrella and steadily pushed it along the field. She did not run. She walked. She was slow. I think the other team lapped her even. As I was taking pictures, I called out to her with some encouragement....

"run, Jersey #2!"

"Go, Jersey #2, Go!"

"Honey, this is a race!"

She continued to walk and push her stroller, steady as can be. She did not drop the umbrella, or tip the stroller, or topple the baby. She kept a slow-n-steady path to the finish line.

Later, when the game was complete and we were moving on to other activities, I asked Jersey #2 if she realized the stroller game was a race. She said she knew that. I suggested that she was suppose to run in the race, so that her team could go faster than the other team.

Her very serious, matter-of-fact answer caused another parent to bust out laughing uncontrollably, while my jaw dropped open...



"Mom, I was keeping the baby SAFE and out of the rain!"

Homeschool Convention

I had the pleasure of spending the weekend at a homeschool convention.

Convention is this fabulous weekend-long event, filled with seminars, information tables, and curriculum vendors....all of them there to encourage & support homeschooling.

I will admit that I went to my first Homeschool Convention an entire year before Jersey #1 was in kindergarten. We were not even an "official" homeschool yet, but I was excited to attend convention. I had been forewarned that the curriculum vendor wing would be overwhelming. There are zillions of wonderful curriculum, and every vendor is excited to share why their product is so great. That first year, I made a point to window shop only, and not purchase any curriculum until I knew full well what we wanted to use. Now, I take advantage of the free shipping and discount offers available for curriculum ordered at Convention. This year, the A Beka rep even gave me an ink pen and a reusable shopping bag when I placed my order. I teased that their gifts were actually intended for advertising!

My favorite part of Convention is the seminars. I love to attend seminars. It is totally my thing to sit in an auditorium and listen to an entertaining speaker who encourages and inspires, and makes me think. A meal, an entertaining speaker, and a chance to discuss it afterward is my idea of a good time. Some of my favorite dates (before kids) with The Referee included dinner and tickets to see a comedian perform. Some of my favorite dates (after kids) with The Referee include ordering pizza and watching an entertaining speaker on DVD.

Homeschool convention doesn't include food. But, it certainly brings incredible speakers for seminars. Every couple hours, there is a choice among 5 or 6 different speakers. I fill the bulk of my time at convention going from one seminar room to another. Even though the main topic of each seminar has something to do with homeschooling....and is very directed at a homeschool family audience....I find that their encouragement branches into other areas of my life also. One year, a common theme of the seminars I attended pertained to strengthening marriage, which was very helpful. One year, a common theme was encouragement that homeschooling works, and the kids do well. This year, I was surprised to see the common theme for the seminars I attended to involve organizing time to reduce busy-ness. I certainly need to improve in that area.

I come home from convention each day, so uplifted that I feel as thought I am walking in the clouds. I usually want to talk really fast and share all my new thoughts and ideas with The Referee. This year, he was sick in bed for most of the weekend, so he was a captive audience (so to speak), LOL!

I took some time to browse the vendor tables more this year too. I am ready to branch out into some other curriculum options for some subjects, and was eager to ask questions and learn more. I am wanting to try History and Science in "unit study" style, teaching all of our children the same units at the same time. I also want an additional math curriculum for Jersey #2. I found one that will give her some independence to forge along at her math whiz pace. I received a ton of great information.

One of the seminar speakers gave a handout with a list of books that she recommended reading. This excited me too, because it gives me a direction to go for more books to read on subjects that pertain to me right now.

I was almost too busy to even sign up to attend convention this year. Considering how encouraged I feel after attending, I am so grateful that I went. I am hoping to use this momentum to make a few "improvements" in our homeschool, and in our home in general.

Short-sale Adventures

We were oh-so-close....

...and yet so far.


We thought we were on target for an approval of our offer for that house that is in short sale. Instead, we received a casual counteroffer from the bank that owns the home.

It wasn't even official paperwork.

It was an email to the Seller's Realtor. The bank dragged the sellers through a paperwork obstacle course, in order to consider selling their home "short" of the amount owed on the mortgage. It looked like every piece of paper had been received and screened, and an approval was on its way. Our Realtor was ready to order the housing inspection and move the process along. Our lender had locked in a great interest rate and was ready to move us toward closing. We were only waiting on that official word, saying that the bank accepted our offer. Instead, the Seller's Realtor received a 2 sentence email that read,

"The listing price is too low. It needs to be (insert amount that is $15K higher than we offered)"

What?!? Seriously? The Realtors were shocked. They discussed it before they even told us. Our Realtor called me and prefaced her announcement with, "We have never seen this before. They are asking for more than the list price." She then suggested we talk it over, and let her know what we wanted to do.

We talked it over. We said NO WAY! We were not paying more than the list price on the house. In the current market where homes are foreclosing all over the place? That is silly. That house has been on the market for months, and we were the only offer. There is no competition here. Foreclosure auctions are not even getting better prices these days.

Knowing this sale was a short sale, we had already offered to pay for all inspections for closing. So, we told our Realtor that we were not going up $15K. We asked her advise as to whether we simply tell them no.....or do we counteroffer with a $5K increase and have them pay some of the inspections and fees for closing.

Our Realtor later emailed us a copy of the email exchange between the Seller's Realtor and the bank. It was absurd. The Seller's Realtor told the rep that the buyers find the price increase unacceptable. The bank rep responded that as soon as the Seller's Realtor received a higher offer, they would proceed with the short sale.

So, it sounds like the bank is not willing to accept our offer.

The part that was entertaining was the way that the Seller's Realtor attempted to be logical with them. He tried to point out that there were NO other offers on this property. When the sale price was higher, there were very few showings. When the sale price dropped, there were no offers. When the sale price dropped again, we were the only offer.

We knew this short sale process could bust at any point. It is still shocking to learn how these banks operate. I actually feel sorry for the sellers. They have been so close to foreclosure and thought this was going to be a way out. They were diligent to provide every piece of paper the bank requested. It is sad that the bank waited until after the sellers jumped through all the hoops, just to announce that they were not going to accept our offer after all.

(The Referee went online and learned that this particular mortgage company is known for mistreating sellers this way. They have a reputation for buying mortgages in foreclosure, stringing the sellers along, then foreclosing anyway.)

We have processed the reality that this house will probably not become our new home. We are giving them a few days to hash out their emails and figure out which point we consider that we have an "official" no.

To add to our housing adventure, our next-door neighbor put their house on the market to sell a week after we did.

We are starting to wonder if these are signs that it is not time to move yet. Time should bring more clarity...

Twin Haircuts

We have a running joke in our family, regarding how much our children look alike. We say that we make 3 models:

1)Boy
2) Girl
3) Jersey#2

Jersey #2 is a unique kid. Her intelligence, her wit, and her vibrant personality stand alone. She is our dark-haired child. She has big medical issues. She is one-of-a-kind. We like her like that.

Our boys look a lot alike, especially with their shaved-head haircuts. Many folks mix up their names, especially if they knew Jersey #3 as a toddler, because Jersey #5 looks like a repeat of him.

Jersey #1 and Jersey #4 look just like The Referee's Mom, their Nana. Jersey #4 looks like a repeat of Jersey #1. My Mom mentioned that they will probably look like twins when they are grown, because they favor each other so much.

Jersey #1 took the twin idea a step further when she requested a short hair-cut. This came as a surprise to me, because she had just told me that morning that she wanted to grow her hair out.

She looks good in the shorter, "bob" haircut. That is the same haircut I tend to keep the girls in while they are younger, because it seems to help their hair thicken up and grow healthy. (I like long hair, but I do not like thin, stringy, "long" hair). When they get old enough to choose short or long....and all the care that goes with each decision, I let them choose.

Jersey #2 has been growing her hair long. She looks adorable in pony tails and braids.

Jersey #1 likes the idea of long hair, but she likes the shoulder-length style of her Nana's hair and also Jersey #4's hair. She is lucky to have 2 relatives who can model hairstyles so she knows what will look good on her too. I reminded her of how cute a colorful headband looks on her with that shorter haircut. Ah accessories! She loves accessories. So, she decided she wanted to cut her hair to look like Jersey #4's.

We call them hair cut twins.

The boys thought that was a funny name, so they stood for a picture to show me that they are haircut twins too.

Jersey #3 loves to have his head rubbed. It relaxes him. He likes getting his hair buzzed, because then everyone likes to rub his head and feel his soft, short hair.

Automatic 5 Blessings

My blogging schedule has been very random for months now. This troubles me, so I aim to fix it. I had originally planned to blog as a way of capturing stories of my family as I progress through this season of motherhood. A blog would be much more up-to-date than the scrapbooking albums that I am so behind on. Lately, everything is behind.

I am trying to revamp my priorities in life these days. I am way too over-extended, way too busy, and quite overwhelmed. It is easy to complain. It is easy to grow negative.

The other night, I was in the midst of a whiny-discussion about my woes with The Referee, when I caught myself saying, "We are not in a crisis here. We chose all of this ourselves."

Oh, that certainly puts things in perspective.

Last year was a really tough year for our family. We had to deal with many stresses that were outside our control. The only thing we could control was our attitude and response. We survived well.

This year, we are very exhausted. It is easy to think we feel the same as last year, but it is not true. This year, the things we are spending our time on, worrying about, working for, are all things we chose. We chose this. We can unchoose it. (I don't think unchoose is a real word).

My bad attitude has been humbled even further, when Jersey #2 announced that she likes to count her blessings. In Sunday School class every Sunday, she announces the number of blessings she has had in the previous week. Her classmates are relieved that she does not name them all. She numbers them. I've noticed that the amount is usually well over 7 thousand. Throughout the week, she constantly points out her blessings. Sometimes she even points out mine....

"You are a very blessed Mommy because you have 5 children."

"That is an automatic 5 blessings every day."

So true.


That should be my blogging mission statement. Start with the 5 automatic blessings I wake up to every day....and share their stories and pictures.

Just the thought of that focus brightens my day already!

For Sale

We have officially taken a flying leap...

Our house is on the market to sell.

I am not exactly sure what to expect. The amount of work that went into getting our house and yard cleaned up and organized just to let the Realtor enter and take pictures was huge. The signing of paperwork for the Realtor, and her listing the home was very simple by comparison. Now, we wait....

We wait to see if there is any interest in the house at all. We wait to see if there are any offers. We wait to see if we are on the right track or the wrong track with our housing situation.

We are also waiting for news on the house that we are seeking to purchase. Just over a month ago, we made an offer on a house that was a hair away from foreclosure. It is in short sale. The sellers are asking their mortgage company to accept our offer, which is short of the amount they owe on the property. Short sales take time. So, we wait...

Patience is a virtue.

But, not a virtue that I possess.


This whole experience is very odd to me. It is not a crisis. We are in no rush. Actually, most of the events are completely out of our hands. There is not much to even worry about. Does this mean I might be gaining some patience? Weird.

I can see that there is some sort of lesson here. I just don't know what that lesson is. The Referee and I are growing. We are communicating, weighing options, processing information, and making decisions together. We have not had such joint effort in a long time, if ever. It is strange. Nice strange, but definitely out of the norm for us.

I know God is in control. He does not need me to micromanage things.

I can't wait to see how this story unfolds. The parts I have experienced so far have been fun.

The house we are trying to buy, was on the market over a year ago. Our friends who live just up the street from it mentioned that we should buy it and become neighbors. I laughed off the idea, because we were not in the market to buy a house at all. I didn't even look at any details of the house.

I have driven past the house many times, and saw the "For Sale" sign out front. I was not phased.

Something changed one day in January. I drove past that house to take Jersey #1 and Jersey #2 to our friend's house, and all was well. A couple hours later, when I drove past again, the sign out front caught my eye. The top of the sign had been changed. Instead of reading "For Sale," it said, "4-Bedrooms."

That afternoon, I got on the computer and looked up the house information in the real estate directory. The price seemed VERY low for that neighborhood. There were other homes in that same neighborhood priced at least 20% higher. Otherwise, I noticed the home had a lot of features we say we want in our next home--2 living areas, a smaller yard, and a garage, specifically. I assumed something must be wrong with it, to be priced so low.

The following week, when I met with my friend and asked her what was the scoop on that house, and why was it priced so low? She explained that it was in foreclosure, and the owners had moved out of state with a job change. They had tried to sell it, tried to rent it, and that did not go well. Her face lit up when she asked if we might be interested in it. Initially I brushed off her excitement by saying that we were not actually looking for a house at this point, because other bills would need to be paid before we could even consider asking for a mortgage. She told me she and her family would be praying about it.

It was February before I finally mentioned the house to The Referee and told him about it and about the details our friend knew. We took a look at our financial situation and ran some numbers. We decided to tackle a couple more bills before even contacting the Realtor about the house.

The next day, The Referee had an idea about how readjust our finances and pay off two more of our smallest debts. We jokingly call it his "out of the box" thinking. I love making those final payments and shading the debts off my spreadsheet. Our debt snowball is really rolling now!

We took a second look at our finances, and talked about the opportunity again. Do we dare take out a mortgage on a new house before selling our current house? Do we think our house will sell well at all? Are we remembering all the expenses that are involved in moving and re-hooking up utilities? Yes.

I emailed our Realtor and gave her the information about the house and asked her to give us the "inside" scoop on the status of the house.....and if it was even worth going to the bank and asking for another mortgage.

She emailed back and said that house was in short sale, not yet foreclosure. She said she had experience with short sales, and they take longer to process, but were not necessarily bad. Financially, the house was a good deal. She said she would go see it in person that afternoon and email me some pictures.

She actually called me from the house, because she was so pleased with it as a nice house for our family. She described the details and emailed me pictures. She said it was definitely worth going to the bank and seeing about a loan. So we did. That evening, the Realtor called me to say that the sellers had just decreased the listing price THAT DAY! They had no idea we were interested, and they are desperate to sell it. The decreased price was the exact price The Referee and I had talked about offering.

The loan adviser called me the next morning and said we were in good shape for a loan, and she only needed minimal paperwork to verify income. I admit I was a bit surprised by this information. Part of me was expecting the bank to say no to another mortgage, which would put an end to this pursuit immediately.

That weekend, we arranged with our Realtor to go see the house, in-between some of the kids' basketball games. I was shocked when both The Referee and I loved the house right from the start. (That was not the case with all of the homes we looked at prior to buying the house we currently live in). It really is a nice home. It was clear that it had been well-taken care of until this recent year when it had renters and sat empty. It would only take some cleaning and painting, and very minor repairs to restore its original beauty and functionality. It was a great fit for our family.

After contacting the seller's Realtor, our Realtor explained that the house was a hair away from foreclosure, so we should put our offer in right away. There was no one else making an offer, but our race was against the foreclosure. We collected the paperwork for the bank loan and got that ready for The Referee to FAX first thing in the morning. I emailed the loan adviser and told her the FAX would be coming, and we wanted an approval letter as fast as possible.

The Referee and I had a big discussion about this endeavor. We researched short sales and learned about how much they require time and patience. Short sales can bust at any point along the process. We decide that we are not getting our hearts set on this house. The odds were against us getting it, if it was that close to foreclosure anyway. We were not in a hurry to move, but were seeking this great opportunity. If it fell apart, we would be fine, because we already have a home. We have plenty of time to let the short sale process unfold, since we do not need to move.

We signed the offer paperwork, and waited on the bank. The loan adviser called me the next morning, and explained that it was going to take 2 or 3 days to get the approval letter. This same lady who was telling me on Friday that we were all set and in good shape, was now telling me Monday morning, that we needed more assets, and she couldn't understand my income (due to the shift differential I get for working evenings). I calmed her down by explaining my paycheck to her, answered her questions about our assets, and then said Ok we would wait on the letter.

I figured it was a no deal already, if the loan status had changed. I emailed the Realtor and The Referee and gave them the update. I was visiting with friends and sharing the story, when the loan adviser called again. Less than an hour had passed from our first phone call that morning. This time, she was cheerful and informed me that she was emailing me the approval letter immediately. She did not tell me what suddenly changed. My friend joked that maybe she just needed a cup of coffee first.

The Realtor sent the offer letter to the Seller's Realtor. Little did we know, they went back and forth all day long, sharing the details of the short sale process.

Late that same evening, our Realtor forwarded an email from the Seller's Realtor, saying that it was too late: the house was already in foreclosure, and an auction date was set. Ah, well. We tried. We decided it just wasn't meant to be at this time.

Much to our surprise, our Realtor called the next afternoon. The status on that house had changed, and the mortgage company decided to postpone the auction and look at our offer. We were ON again! How exciting!

An entire month went by, and we heard nothing about our offer. The internet was right, short sales take time. Our Realtor said that the Seller's Realtor kept assuring her it still looked good. We were growing doubtful. We passed the time by Spring Cleaning our own house and getting it ready for the market. We decided to go ahead and list it, and see how it did on the market, while we waited for the short sale process.

In the meantime, the neighbors noticed another Realtor at the house, taking pictures. It turns out that person was an independent broker who was taking pictures for the mortgage company while they assessed the value of the home compared to what was owed on the mortgage, compared to our offer. It made us wonder if it might be headed for auction afterall.

The Realtor came over last weekend to take pictures of our house. As we signed the listing contract with her, I was a bit overwhelmed by the idea of trying to keep our house clean and decluttered for showing for the next 6 months. Yikes.

After a long weekend of work, yard work, housework, and paperwork, The Referee and I had an interesting chat about how we pack our life. We decided we need to look at things differently. We usually say, "Can we do this?" We need to start saying "Should we do this?"

We decided that we have done all the hard work in this housing process. An offer is on the table. Our house is on the market. Six months from now, we will either have a new house or not. We will either sell our house or not. We are in maintenance mode right now, and that is good. In the meantime, we keep working, schooling, purging junk, and paying down debts. We thought we had it all figured out.

This morning, our Realtor forwarded an email from the Seller's Realtor which explained that they had made it through another step in the process. The auction that was set for today had been postponed. They had been meeting with a "screener" at the mortgage company so far, and now they were dealing with an actual closer/negotiator. It looks like we might be closer to an approval on our offer soon.

I am not sure how "soon" is defined in a short sale. It is a lesson in patience, for sure.

This Doctor

This Doctor is the most wonderful Family Physician in the world. We claim our beloved Dr. S as part of our family.

The Referee and I met this Doctor 2 months after we were married. He has been our family physician, obstetrician, and pediatrician ever since.

I am certain that this Doctor was hand delivered to our family, by God. When The Referee and I were first married, we had to name a primary care provider for our new medical insurance. I picked the clinic right next door to my workplace, and called to get appointments to establish us as patients there. This Doctor was not suppose to be there. He was the director of a different clinic, across town. His clinic was under construction, and he had relocated temporarily. Since he had just relocated his practice, he had room to accept new patients. There was not another physician in that entire clinic who was accepting new patients. I wanted a woman doctor. There was not a single woman physician accepting new patients in that entire medical network in town. I spent hours calling clinics and our insurance company to learn this. Each time I called the clinic, I happened to get the same receptionist. He was patient with me as he looked up each and every doctor on my list, only to tell me they were not accepting new patients at that time. He repeatedly suggested Dr. S. By the 3rd phone call, he was going into great detail about how wonderful this physician really was. He even shared that Dr. S was his doctor too. Finally, at my wits end, I surrendered. I called our insurance company and learned that Dr. S was in our provider network. I called the clinic again, and scheduled appointments with him.

We liked this Doctor from the moment we met him. He smiles. He sings. He has a passion for helping people. He has a gift for guiding people through their healthcare decisions, without judgment.

Yet, when I became pregnant with our first child, I tried to seek out a female doctor at a Women's clinic. I was disappointed to learn that the obstetrics process at the clinics I called was quite lengthy. It was going to be 2 months before I could get a pregnancy test....and I would already be in the 2nd trimester before I even met an obstetrician. That was not the level of care I wanted for my first pregnancy.

Frustrated, I called the clinic and asked for guidance. Not only was I told that I could walk right into the lab that morning and get a pregnancy test on my own, but the nurse who gave me the positive result informed me that Dr. S delivers babies, so there was no need for me to find a new obstetric doctor. The icing on the cake was that he had a cancellation and was able to see me that same afternoon. He celebrated our growing family, and made the excitement of that first pregnancy even higher. From that moment on, I never considered looking for another physician.

This Doctor is open and honest with us about our health. This Doctor tells us the truth, even when it is bad news. This Doctor held our hands as we grieved the death of our firstborn. He made sure to be there for the labor and delivery, staying the entire night at the hospital, just to deliver our stillborn daughter himself. He braced us for what we may face. He admits when he does not have the answers and has to do more research. He finds joy in the routine and in the rare experiences that we bring.

This Doctor was the only physician who admitted to us that Jersey #2's heart murmur did not sound very normal to him. He was diligent to follow up with tests and specialists until we had answers. He called to ask how we were handling the shocking news of her heart condition. He advised us to "go with it" and follow the steps laid out by her Cardiologist.

This Doctor managed every one of my pregnancies. He "caught" our first 3 daughters the moment they entered the world. He claims an "assist" on Jersey #3, as he ran into the room right as Jersey #3 was flying into the world. (He had a suspicion labor was going to go fast).

This Doctor answers phone messages and emails, letting me manage our family's health needs outside of his clinic too. He is calm when I called up with bleeding scares during pregnancies. He always advised me to go to the hospital "so we can see what we are dealing with."

This Doctor came to the hospital outside his regular schedule, just to be the one to circumcise our boys. I asked him if he would be the one to do the procedure. I also asked if I could be there both times. It was funny to watch his "team" of residents scramble at the sight of him at the hospital on the weekend like that, offering to do the procedure for him. It was also funny to hear his colleagues tell me that they doubted he would arrive on his day off, just for that. He always arrived, just as he said he would.

This Doctor celebrates every time our family grows. At every postpartum check-up, I would ask him how things looked in terms of having more children. I would share with him some of the negative comments I received from others. He always answered, "Go for it. I'm ready!"

We joke that we are stalking this Doctor. He has changed clinic locations twice. We have followed him each time.

This Doctor spent hours talking with me about vaccine safety and ethics when our concerns arrived. We always said that if anyone was going to change our minds about a parenting decision, it would only be Dr. S. We respect his wisdom that much to reconsider our own position. It turns out, he respects our parenting choices as well.

This Doctor is Pro-Life. I am confident that he would do everything in his power to save the lives of our children.

This Doctor finds joy in the bold personalities of our children, much like we do. He shares stories and laughter at our parenting (mis)adventures.

This Doctor even takes the time to pose for a picture with our thundering herd.

AWANA Games

AWANA Games is a half-day of fun and competition. Teams of kids from AWANA clubs around town meet up in a gym and compete against each other in a series of games that include running, bean bags, balloons, tug-of-war, and noodles. They are many of the same games that are played at AWANA each week. The kids have a blast.

This year, we had 3 kids participate in AWANA Games. Two participated in Sparky Games, and two participated in T&T Games. Does it seem odd that we made 4 participants out of 3 kids? The answer is that Jersey #2 was able to participate in both events. Being a 2nd grader, and a younger sister, has its privelages. 2nd graders (the oldest Sparky's) can "play up" to help form more participants for the T&T games. Since her older sister was signed up for T&T Games, Jersey #2 was recruited too.

Last Saturday, we loaded up the whole family and went to the Games.

This was the largest AWANA Games event we have attended. It seems more and more churches are offering AWANA. More and more clubs are participating in Games. We saw many folks we already knew, from various other kids programs around town.

There were 4 circles set up in the gym. Each circle had the ability to hold 4 teams. Our kids were on Green teams. The AWANA colors are Red, Blue, Green, and Yellow.

I managed to get at least 1 good picture of each kid participating in a game event.

At the end of the Games, awards were given. There was a 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th place for every circle.

For T&T Games, Jersey #1 was on a 1st place team. Jersey #2 was on a 3rd place team...

For Sparky Games, Jersey #2 was on a First place team, and Jersey #3 was on a 2nd place team. They also received a patch for their AWANA vests.

Sometimes there are clubs who do not have enough players to form an entire team. When that happens, kids are recruited from one team to another to help out. For T&T Games, Jersey #2 was recruited to help another club. The incentive for being a good sport about switching teams is that the player receives the awards for the team they are on, AND for the team they came from. In this case, Jersey #2 received the 3rd place awards from the team she was on, and the 1st place awards from the team she belonged to originally. Getting double awards just made her day!

Jersey #4 was a restless spectator. She looked for every opportunity to leave the stands and go to the restroom, or to seek a snack from the concession stand.

Jersey #5 started was a happy spectator originally. He clapped. He cheered. He climbed up and down the bleachers, pointing out each of his siblings.

But, a few hours later, he was a sleepy spectator, unable to endure the entire event. He fell asleep on the bleacher, mid-clap, and had to be carried to the van when Games were over.

We Like To Eat

Recently, all of my children have been asked what foods they like to eat. Their answers certainly fit their personalities and differences.

When our family doctor asked what her favorite foods were, Jersey #1 gave him a full explanation:

"I love bread. I eat a lot of carbs. So, my Mom reminds me to eat some vegetables and protein so that I don't get a tummy ache. If I only eat a bunch of bread and drink Dr. Pepper, it makes my stomach hurt."

The doctor confirmed that Mom is right, and she needs protein and vegetables too. He also praised her for having a good grasp on nutrition.

Jersey #2 and Jersey #4 had well-child check-ups this week, and the doctor asked each of them what was their favorite thing to eat.

Jersey #4 answered: "bread....and milk."

The doctor looked up at me and saw the surprise on my face. I was certain she was going to say powdered sugar donuts. He assured me that bread and milk were good favorites for a 4-year old.


Jersey #2 answered: "strawberries."

This is so true. The child can eat an entire quart of strawberries in one sitting, without sharing. Strawberries never go to waste at our house. She made the doctor laugh when she told him that she likes to eat all the strawberries and not share with her siblings.


As I was driving home from the doctor's office, I was pondering food. The kids were telling the truth about what their favorite foods were. The part I was pondering was the fact that if ever asked what MY favorite food is, I always answer: cheeseburgers.

I prefer cheeseburgers. My daughters prefer bread, carbs (bread & pasta), and strawberries.

Hmmm. Is it any wonder why they are slim and I am overweight? I think I might see a connection here.



Jersey #3 made us laugh when he announced that ALL food was his favorite.

That is so true. He has not mentioned a single food that he does not like. He is always hungry. He eats every two hours, and has since birth. He tells me every day that the meal I just served him was the best "lunch" ever. (Yes, every meal is lunch, according to Jersey #3).


Jersey #5 was asked by his AWANA teacher what was his favorite food. He answered: "Cheetos and bananas."

It sounds like he likes to snack.

Hot Topics: Pacifiers

I was at the dentist the other day....completely on my own, without any children in tow....and happened upon a conversation about pacifiers. The office had a news show on the television, and a segment came up about some celebrity's child who was caught in photographs with a pacifier in her mouth. She was 4. This was apparently newsworthy.

I was appalled. A pacifier at age 4 is national news? Wow. There must not be much going on in the world, if this is the sort of thing that people are getting upset about. Sure enough, experts were brought in to discuss this breaking news topic. One expert was a Mom who never let her children go near a pacifier. One expert was a physician, who was going to give us all the appropriate response to pacifiers. One expert was a Mom who did not think pacifiers were much of a problem. Judging from the way the newscasters were acting about the subject, I knew that last Mom was going to get eaten alive on this program.

Thankfully, I missed the rest of the segment, as the dentist approached and was getting ready to work on my teeth. His hygienist could not resist sharing her thoughts on the subject while they got things ready. Her comments made me wonder if she even had any children.....or if she had even been around any children. I know that I knew a whole lot more about parenting before I ever had any children. The more kids I have, the less I know about what is best.

The hygienist began to explain to me that children should not use pacifiers after their teeth come in, because it could move their teeth out of alignment. I stared in awe, wondering if she knew what age teeth arrived in a baby's mouth. That would really limit pacifier use, if the arrival of teeth were the limit. I tried not to laugh as I thought about the number of times I have seen a toddler hold their pacifier to the side of their mouth, using their teeth. Kids can get really creative with the combination of teeth and pacifiers.

I didn't say anything. I just listened. I am really not passionate about pacifiers. Some parents like them, some don't. Some kids like them....some kids REALLY like them....and some kids don't. I really can't see where the world is going to come to an end if a child does or does not take a pacifier, for whatever length of time. There are so many choices that parents have to make for what is best for their children. Adding more rules, fears, and stigmas is not helping grow great parents.

When the hygienist was finished giving me her report on the damage that pacifiers do to teeth, she turned to the dentist for affirmation that she was correct. I really had to work hard to not bust out laughing at his response. This man has been around the block a few times. He has seen it all. He simply said that he has not recalled ever putting a person in braces because they took a pacifier. He knew of some thumb-suckers who moved their teeth. Some. He said that some people have teeth that move easily and some people just have crooked teeth.

Then, he added that if a child was already showing signs of crooked teeth....and already going to need braces....then you may as well let them have the pacifier and enjoy themselves, because that need for braces is in their future regardless.