Horse Fun

Our family received an opportunity to visit Galloping Grace Youth Ranch this weekend. It was such a treat that they could fit us in again before Jersey #2 has to go for surgery. It was an additional treat to be able to visit on a Saturday, because The Referee could join us to see the kids having so much fun with horses.

Each of the kids demonstrated a new skill today.

Tim, the awesome ranch volunteer, was able to get Jersey #2 up on a horse again. She told me before we arrived that she didn't think she wanted to ride. She told Tim that she just wanted to walk the horse around. I encouraged her to show her Dad how she can sit on a horse. She finally agreed. After the initial fear of going up on the horse, she started to relax in the saddle.

It was just a matter of time before she was glad she decided to ride. She quickly became real comfortable in the saddle, and started waving to me. She was comfortable enough to ride, so Tim led the horse around the corral nearly a dozen times, because Jersey #2 was having so much fun.

Jersey #3 was excited to get to hold the reins. He quickly became distracted by the reins, and almost forgot to go through the balance drills.

Look Ma, no hands!

Jersey #1 shocked us by riding a horse without someone leading it around the corral. I had no idea she could do that. The ranch volunteer explained to me that she told Jersey #1 she could give it a try the next time she visits.

She learned how to use the reins to steer the horse.

She had a blast! A love of horses is growing deep in this child.

She still says she will have to hire someone to clean the stalls, when she gets a horse of her own. Her response to the work station was "Yuck."

Her siblings, on the other hand, think those kid-sized rakes and shovels are neat!

They worked hard to clean the corral...

....until Jersey #5 discovered the water.

He actually sampled some of the horses' water before I could stop him. Yum.

Play Ball...or NOT!

Baseball season has begun....

Fierce winds whipped around our house all Friday night and into Saturday morning. I was hoping the weather would be more cooperative at the baseball field.

No such luck.


We froze.

It was so cold and windy that most of the players on Jersey #2 & Jersey #3's team did not bother to show up for the game. We never met the coach either. Another parent spoke with the umpire and the coach of the opposing team. The league decided to leave the decision up to the coaches and parents, to decide if they want to play or call the game for the day. Since the team did not show up, their game was called.

This was Jersey #2's first....and probably last....baseball game of the season. I am not sure how soon baseball fits in with the recovery timeline. She was only slightly disappointed. She was too cold to question it much.

Jersey #3, on the other hand, was pretty upset. He is finally old enough to officially play sports, so this game was a big "first" for him. I think he would have played in snow, if given the chance. He wears his ball cap and jersey almost daily. I had to reassure him that there will be another game for him to play in a few weeks....and he could practice while he is at Granny & PawPaws house.

We made our way against the wind to go watch Jersey #1's game. The older kids were brave enough to play, and the parents were brave enough to freeze in the stands.

While we watched the pre-game practice, The Referee decided to take the freezing younger 4 children back to the van. We were parked at the other end of the field, so they could technically watch the game from the van. Jersey #5 decided to nap instead.

It was hard to make out the teams, due to all of their layers and jackets. They played 1 inning and let all of the children take a turn at bat, before calling the game.

Jersey #1 was more pink than her coat by the time the game ended.

She did take her turn at bat, and hit the ball on the first pitch...

AWANA Awards

We have officially wrapped up another AWANA year.

I love the AWANA program. It provides a fun way to learn God's Word. I like the program so much, that we use it as our primary Bible curriculum in our home school. Just in the Sparks division alone (kindergarten-2nd grade), the children memorize 107 Bible verses total. Those verses are located in the 3 original books....1 book per year. When our children complete the book for that year, they move on to additional workbooks, filled with even more Bible verses to memorize, and fun activities to complete. Every completed book earns patches, pins, candy, and prizes.

Memorizing scripture is the primary focus of AWANA, but the program is ran like a "club," complete with games, crafts, stories, and snacks. The children have a blast. Their club uniform is a vest that holds all of their patches, pins, and ribbons.

This year, the AWANA Club our children attend, started up a Puggles program. Puggles is the 2-year old class. Their uniform is a blue T-shirt. Their lessons are based on all the things God created. They receive a colorful card each week, so that they can review the lesson for that week. Jersey #4 loved Puggles. She especially enjoyed all the songs that had hand motions to them.

The Cubbies program is the preschool class for 3 & 4-year olds. There are 2 books in Cubbbies, which are completed over the course of 2 years. The children say 1 Bible verse per week. Jersey #3 completed his 2nd year of Cubbies, and is ready to advance to Sparks next Fall. His favorite part of AWANA was snack!

Jersey #2 is in her 2nd year of Sparks. AWANA re-tooled their Sparks program by spicing up the look of the books and tune of the songs. They organized the new program to follow the Bible chronologically, which has been a really nice improvement. Jersey #2 is in the first class of the new program. She completed Sparks WingRunners this year.

At the awards ceremony, she also won the "High Performance" award, because she was the student who said the most verses and completed the most number of books in her class. She did not pay that award much attention. Instead, she proudly showed off her new Bible that her teachers gave each student, as a year-end gift.

Jersey #1 completed the 3rd year of Sparks this year. She is in the last class of the old Sparks program. The 3rd year of the old program is called "Climbers." (It has actually been nice for our family that our girls are in different programs, because that has helped cut down on competition between them).

Jersey #1 also said the most verses in her class this year, and completed the most number of books. Her teachers awarded her with a "Star Performer" trophy.

I managed to get action shots of the girls going up front for their Sparks awards. I am not sure how I always managed to catch them looking away from my camera...

AWANA takes a break for the summer, and resumes in the Fall, following the calendar for a standard school year. Next year, all 5 of our children will be enrolled in AWANA, so I told The Referee that we should make AWANA night our "date night!" Jersey #1 will advance into the TnT (Truth in Training) program (for 3rd-6th graders). Jersey #2 will be in Sparks StormChasers (2nd graders). Jersey #3 will be in Sparks HangGliders (kindergarteners). Jersey #4 will advance into her first year of Cubbies. Jersey #5 will be in Puggles.

I love AWANA.

The Most Vulnerable

A few years ago, I was suffering with terrible nightmares. After seeing a few images and programs on television about vehicles catching fire at gas stations, evil-doers holding folks hostage at gunpoint, and various home intruder assaults, I was a wreck. The actual details of those events were traumatizing enough, but my internal struggle was a little different. I needed to find the answers to a very important question...

If I ever found myself in such a dangerous situation, which of my children do I try to save first?


I wrestled with this dilemma for months. I could not sleep. I could not let it go. I know firsthand that when tragedy strikes, it is easy to beat yourself up with a whole series of "what if's." What if I had done this instead....could I have prevented the tragedy??? A person can go crazy with the what if's, but a mother can reach a point of never forgiving herself, if it is her child's life at stake.

What if my vehicle caught fire, and I started unstrapping kids to rescue them, but fail to rescue them all before the vehicle explodes? Do I start in the middle row or the back row of the van? Is there a more efficient way to rescue 3, 4, (and now) 5 children? Will I ever be able to forgive myself if my rescue attempt fails any of my children? Will I be able to go on to mother the living children after making such a huge mistake?

I actually completely avoided filling my van up with gasoline in the heat of the day, for many months. I would fill up in the early morning, when I was alone with no children in tow, or else I would ask my husband to gas up the van for me.

My mind raced through scenarios constantly. I mentally practiced unstrapping my children from the vehicle. I mentally practiced words of comfort to my children in a hostage situation. I exhausted myself worrying about this subject. And then I prayed.

I do not believe there is a way to emotionally prepare for a tragedy, but I was able to see the logical solution to my stress. The answer arrived through a comment from a car seat safety inspection station that we attended in the past. Prior to Jersey #2's birth, we took our newly-purchased minivan to the car seat safety event to have the infant car seat properly installed. An off-duty state police officer was there, actively receiving training on properly installing children's car seats. He later told us that he and his wife were expecting their first child, so car seat safety had become a very important topic for him now. He went to great lengths to make sure he was installing our infant car seat to exact specifications. A supervisor from the car seat safety organization was observing his technique, and checking off his work as he followed the checklist.

Our minivan had 2 rows of passenger seats. The middle bench was off-set so that it lined up with the driver's side window seat and the middle seat of the last bench. We had Jersey #1's car seat in the space that placed her in the center of the van. The center is considered the safest seat in the vehicle. As the officer went to put the infant car seat into the van, he had a second thought about moving Jersey #1's car seat over to the window seat. He turned to his supervisor and asked, which seat goes in the center?

The answer to the car seat question has helped me logically organize my tragedy response thoughts....



The most vulnerable child.



Since a newborn is more vulnerable in a car accident than a toddler, the infant car seat was placed in the center space of the van.

When I am pulled in multiple directions in motherhood, it is most logical to prioritize the most vulnerable child first.

Right now, I am emotionally torn. I am getting ready to take Jersey #2 out of state for medical treatment. My other 4 children will be staying with my parents while I am away. My mind races to the possiblities that any of the 4 may end up sick, hurt, or in danger. What if something happens to them while I am away? (I know that my parents will take great care of my children, so that is not the issue....but even in my care, illness and injury can occur....so this is a global concern). Will I fail one of my other children if something terrible happens to them while I am out of state with their sister?

Emotions are important to the quality of my life, but they can also be deceiving. Emotions can make a mother feel inadequate. This is the point where I have to force myself to face the logic of the situation.


I need to be with my most vulnerable child.

Hand Washing

I did not used to be one of those germ-a-phobic Moms, not even with my firstborn. When friends would ask if they should visit if their child had a runny nose, I would answer that we are not afraid of germs at our house. We eat well, sleep well, play outdoors, and wash ourselves...so we cover the basics for overall good health. Plus, natural immunity is a good thing, right?

Um, yea, well that way of life has just gone right out the window. For now.

We take Jersey #2 out of state to a big-named Children's Hospital one week from today. She will undergo open-heart surgery 2 days after our arrival. Yikes.

I am hoping to keep her as healthy as possible both before and after surgery. I am taking 2 approaches: 1) quarantine ourselves away from the public, and 2) frequent hand washing.

I've been working with the kids on proper hand-washing technique. It seems to be the best way to combat the common spread of germs from person to person. We will have to be diligent with hand washing after Jersey #2's surgery also. It may take a couple months just for her wound to close. It may be 6 months to a year before her body finds its new normal.

I think Jersey #5 might have misinterpreted my hand-washing lesson just a little bit.

Although I did emphasize using soap and water, I did not suggest shampoo or the bathtub faucet.

I appreciate his enthusiasm.

Diaper Grief

Brace yourself. This blog post is going to sound crazy. I know it is nuts. I have been talking with my husband about this off and on for a few days now, and he continues to roll his eyes and stifle laughs. So, I know I am off my rocker with this one. But, I need to work through it, so I am going to write about it anyway. Consider yourself warned.

I think I am grieving the end of my favorite diapers.

Last week, I posted a note about my disappointment with the "improvements" that Pampers has made with their Swadders & Cruisers diaper line. I was disappointed. I was complaining. I thought I was doing it in a funny way.

Friends let me know that I was not alone in my lamenting. A quick Google search showed me that there are many, many folks who do not like the new diaper style. Some are furious and fighting the company publicly. Others, plan to switch brands and move on.

I was planning to just switch brands and move on. My "baby" is 19 months old already. I can move him into Pull-ups now, if I wanted. I can try him out in other diapers. We are really only talking a series of months (possibly greater than 12 months) before he is potty training anyway. He is a toddler. I am at the end of my diapering life anyway.

Even though I dealt with the sudden diaper rash problem, I thankfully did not deal with the chemical burns, blisters, or other traumas that some parents report. Some children are more sensitive than others. My 3-year old wears the diapers at night with no problems at all. I know just enough about business strategy to realize that the company reached a plateau in their profits, and needed an image change to booster sales. I have nothing personal against the company or their business decisions. I think it was a dumb decision. And, I think they are not handling the public outcry very well. Other than that, it is not personal, it is just business. Companies make good or bad business moves all the time.

But, man, am I disappointed! The entire world has just lost a superior product. It is gone. There is nothing to replace it. Nothing comes close. I know many Moms who are happy to share the diapers they like to use, and their reasons for using them. There are all kinds of online discussions about brand, size, cost, character, and comparison.

It is all just apples and oranges.

All of the other diapers on the market are like comparing apples. Red, green, yellow, sweet, tart, crisp....Pampers Baby Dry, Luvs, Huggies, Fisher Price, Up&Up, and the warehouse brands....thin, cheap, plastic...functional. They are all close enough to the same thing, that it really doesn't matter.

And, now, we can just add Pampers Swaddlers and Pampers Cruisers to the list. The "improvements" have only succeeded in making them just like every other diaper on the market. Some folks will like them, and some will not, and it really doesn't matter. A disposable diaper is a disposable diaper, and there really isn't much to compare and contrast anymore.

The Pampers Swaddlers and Cruisers that I have been using for over 6 years now were oranges. There was nothing else like them on the market. There was no comparison to other diapers. They were a superior product. (I have only now just learned that this is because they owned the patent on the mesh insert that was in their diapers, which kept moisture off little bottoms and absorbed better). I actually better understood the position of Moms who use cloth diapers instead of disposable, because I was attached to Pampers Swaddlers with THAT level of intensity. Apples and oranges.

Now that Pampers has gone and changed their superior product to compare to all of the inferior products, I am hearing about more and more folks who felt the same way I did. Pampers just lost an entire base of loyal folks who have not switched diaper brands in years. We all just throw up our hands and say, "oh well, I guess I'll buy the cheapest diapers now, because they are all pretty much the same." There is no more quality in the disposable diaper industry. Sad.

It is just a diaper. So why am I so upset about this?

That is what I have been mulling around in my head for days. I realize now, that it is not about the diapers....it is about superiority.

I am hitting the ground after my fall with superiority. I've been falling for quite a while now. I've posted before about how I keep finding myself in situations where my parenting choices are required to change...often to the opposite extreme. I've laughed. I've cried. I've been embarrassed. I've been frustrated. I've been amused at the irony. I've dealt with it and moved on.

But, I have always had my diaper idol to hold on to. I have always had that "superior" product that I have used for years. The diapers were my last stronghold.

Not any more. (We are not suppose to be holding on to false idols anyway.)

None of MY parenting choices are any better than those of my peers.

It is true that I must constantly make choices and decisions for the care and well being of my children. I am responsible for their nurturing and training. Motherhood is an awesome responsibility, and I take my job very seriously.

But, MY choices are to be what is best for MY children....for the children whose care God has entrusted ME with.....not for everyone else's children. What works for me may not be the best choice for another family. What works for me with one of my children may not even be the best choice for another of my children. And, as soon as I start to feel superior on any level with my choices, then I am in the wrong. As soon as I start to think that I have found the "best" product on the market...As soon as I think I have found the "best" way to care for a child...I should know better. There is no "best" for everyone.

And apparently, I have not been quick enough with this lesson, because it keeps repeating in my life.....right down to the choice of diapers I use.

I am actually thankful, now, that Pampers has made such a terrible mistake. I don't wish any ill will on the company itself. Their blunder was large enough for me to see that I don't need a superior diaper. I don't need a superior anything. I need to cast off the things of this world. Cast off the products, brands, labels, and philosophies. They are distractions that cloud my judgment and my focus. I should not be following a company, an author, a brand, or a movement.

I need to remain humble. Open to growth. Open to guidance. Open to being molded into the mother that God intends me to be.

Horses and Heart Friends

HORSES! The kids received the opportunity to go horseback riding this morning, at Galloping Grace Youth Ranch.

It was a magical place. We had so much fun.

Plus, Jersey #2 was able to spend some time with her "heart friend." In addition to being the owner of the ranch, Cowboy Max is dear to our family because he has also been through the experience of open-heart surgery to replace a valve. Last Fall, when Jersey #2 was enduring a series of medical tests to prove her need for surgery, she mentioned to me that she was praying for a "heart friend"...someone who had scars from heart surgery too. A few weeks later, we met Cowboy Max at the pumpkin stand fundraiser for the ranch. We knew nothing about him at the time, except that he had the amazing ability to help Jersey #2 overcome her fear of heights and sit in the saddle of a horse. We learned about his heart experience a couple months later, and Cowboy Max said he would be honored to be Jersey #2's "Heart Friend." When the ranch scheduled our session this morning, they paired up Cowboy Max and Jersey #2, specifically.

Jersey #2 was VERY nervous about sitting in the saddle, on top of that big horse. Max's wife, Michelle, was there to help support Jersey #2 and encourage her. In the end, Jersey #2 was proud of herself for getting on the horse and taking a couple steps.

Jersey #1 could hardly wait for her turn to ride. She has been fairly comfortable in the saddle, and has had a variety of random horseback riding experiences through the years. She begs us to buy her a horse.

Jersey #3 first said that he was not going to ride a horse today. But, he quickly changed his mind when he saw the horses, and when he saw his older sisters riding.

The kids put on their cowboy boots and hats, just for the occasion...

Jersey #5 was pretty excited to see the horses. I had to stop him from attempting to enter the corral a couple times. He is not quite old enough for the ranch program, so he is trying to patiently wait for his turn to ride...

He made good use of the sawhorse steer while he waited...

In addition to riding horses, the kids participate in a service project to learn about the work on the ranch. Today's work station involved scooping horse poop in one of the corrals. Much to my amusement, the children had a blast scooping poop....

They took the job seriously and worked hard...

Jersey #2 said that scooping horse poop was a dream come true! She had the ranch volunteer laughing at that one. When she said that all her dreams come true, the ranch volunteer responded that Jersey #2 must set very realistic dreams.

Jersey #1 was not near as excited about the poop-scooping part of horse care. She has now decided that when she gets a horse of her own, she will pay Jersey #2 to scoop its poop!


The kids were able to enjoy a little play time out at the ranch too. After a hard day's work on the ranch, it is always fun to go down the slide....

...and visit the ranch saloon....
(which is really a wooden playhouse for the kids).

Gifts from the Heart

We have been blessed with a tremendous outpouring of support from our friends and family. Jersey #2...and her tender heart...have been on everyone's mind. I am encouraged each and every time someone tells me that she is in their prayers. It is such a comfort to know that our family is not facing this challenge alone.

We have also been blessed with many, many gifts. Our church family took up a love offering in March to help us cover the cost of our travel expenses. In addition to the money they gave us, 2 men donated their airline ticket awards from their business travel, which covered all 3 of our airplane tickets to travel for Jersey #2's surgery. It brings us so much relief to know that our travel expenses are covered, so we can focus all of our attention on Jersey #2.

Following the lead of our church family, we have also had family and friends send us money to help with our expenses. People have been so generous, and we are blessed.

In addition, folks have been giving a variety of thoughtful gifts.

One family sent Jersey #2 a personal DVD player, to help entertain her on the airplane and also while recovering in the hospital bed.....

A family friend gave Jersey #2 a bag full of arts and craft goodies, toys and clothes....

My sister gave Jersey #2 a bag full of Little Mermaid goodies, because Jersey #2 says the Little Mermaid is her favorite princess...

Granny has Jersey #2 covered from head to toe in Rainbow apparel, because Jersey #2 loves rainbows...

A Great-Grandma gave Jersey #2 money to pick out some toys. She chose toy hamsters and a housing set for them...

Nana took Jersey #2 shopping. She picked out a Monopoly game, a couple movies to watch in her new DVD system, and a Skittles purse...

Granny & PawPaw gave Jersey #2 a travel-sized M&Ms pillow and blanket set to take with her for travel and for surgery. They spoiled her with a bunch of new clothes and pajamas. Granny picked out a music box that plays, "What a Wonderful World." Jersey #2 loves music. She already knows the words to the song.

We plan to play this music box for her while she is heavily medicated after surgery, in the ICU. Familiar music can be such a comfort. Granny gave Jersey #2 a crib toy that played music when she had her first heart surgery at 2 months old. She enjoyed it so much that even the nurses turned it on repeatedly for her, if they saw it had turned off. She rested better when the music was playing. I suspect it covered up some of the hospital noises too.

A friend took the time to fold 1001 Origami Cranes and strung them together for Jersey #2. Based on Japanese tradition, these cranes are wishes for health and prosperity...

My sister's church has a ministry where the ladies gather to make quilts. Jersey #2 was the recipient of one of their beautiful quilts, and all the prayers that were offered up by the church members. The quilt has hearts on it...

In addition to the quilt, each sibling was given a little teddy bear that is holding a tiny quilt...

Thank you all for such wonderful gifts. Our hearts are warmed by the compassion we have received.

Child Life

I asked the Pediatric Cardiologist how we go about preparing a 6-year old for open-heart surgery. Jersey #2 had her first open-heart surgery as a 2-month old infant, so some things were easier. Now, she is old enough to understand some of what is being talked about, and she has concerns and questions of her own. I wanted to do all I could to prepare her for this medical experience.

It turns out that opportunities are available to those who ask. The Cardiologist explained that the hospital has a Child Life Program where there are Child Development Specialists available to talk with a child about medical procedures, at the child's developmental level. She recommended we make an appointment for Jersey #2, and also for her older siblings who might have questions about what their sister is going through.

I took the older 3 children to the hospital yesterday afternoon. It was our last official day of school too. I thought it was quite appropriate that we take a hospital-related field trip that day, since the pending surgery in May is the reason we worked so hard to complete the school year by the end of April.

At the Heart Clinic, we met up with the Child Development Specialist, and also the hospital's Pediatric Social Worker. I am already in contact with the social worker, because she heads up the parent mentorship program I help with. She wanted to observe the Child Life interaction with my kids, so she can see how it works, to be able to recommend it to other families.

I asked them to pose for a picture afterward, because I am a blogging, scrapbooking Mom...

The Child Development Specialist won favor with the kids immediately because he brought them gifts. He gave them each a little stuffed "Buddy" doll and let them decorate it to their liking during our visit. He also gave each child a blank book to draw in, a blank journal to write in, and a bag full of hospital-related goodies. The bag included a surgical cap, gloves, an empty syringe, and a band-aid.

He also lent us a few books he was able to find about children going to the hospital. Jersey #2 can read, so the books are real helpful for her understanding.

After dispensing the gifts and spending a little time getting to know the kids, the Specialist opened a binder and went through a series of slides that told a story of a child who was going to the hospital for surgery. Each page talked about a part of the process, and included colorful pictures. Jersey #2 read along, and chatted with him about the contents of the story. She is very experienced with medical visits, so she added a lot of detail, which let us all know where she was in her understanding of her medical situation.

When they got to the part about what the doctors look like dressed up for surgery, Jersey #2 informed him that doctors wear masks and gloves to keep from giving us their germs. She explained that if doctors gave us their germs, and made us sick, then they would have to do more work. The adults in the room had a big laugh over that.

The way that the kids decorated their buddy doll allowed me to see where their thoughts are focused. Jersey #1 decorated her doll to be a twin to herself. She even added the horse picture on the front of her doll's shirt...

Jersey #2 decorated her doll to have a broken heart. I was advised that this can be a good conversation opener to talk to her more about her feelings about having surgery...

Jersey #3 decorated his doll to have a red, bloody spot at the heart. He told me that his doll fell on the concrete outside the hospital and that is how it got hurt. He then spent the visit trying out all of the surgical gear on his doll. He pretended to perform surgery on his dolls' heart while his sisters talked.

When he completed his surgery, he placed the band-aid from his bag onto his doll, over the space with the bleeding heart. He was very proud of himself for fixing up his dolls' heart.

The social worker asked him if he was going to be a doctor when he grew up. His immediate answer was, "No. I am going to be a train conductor."

He did enjoy testing out the anesthesia equipment...

Upon returning home, Jersey #2 and Jersey #3 spent much of the afternoon dressed up as surgeons, repairing every doll, sibling, and stuff animal in the house...

I am so glad that I asked for assistance in preparing Jersey #2 for her upcoming surgery. The Child Life Program was wonderful. They offered many resources to teach the kids in a positive way.

I was also given an extra dose of encouragement from the Social Worker and the Child Development Specialist, that I was preparing Jersey #2 at an appropriate level for her age. My approach of answering her questions and talking about things as she brings them up is working. I also see that I am finding a good balance in the level of the detail that I share with her. Their compliments were a boost to my confidence.

Jersey #2 has a healthy understanding of her situation and what she is facing. She is focusing on the positive aspects, and is rather upbeat about the surgery. It is amazing to see how she is taking it all in stride.