This week marks 5 months that I have been working at my lab job outside the home.
Personally, I think it stinks.
I do not enjoy being a "working" Mom. For sake of argument, yes I know that all Moms work. Moms work hard. But, what I am saying is that I do not like the type of work that constitutes employment outside the home. It is challenging to balance work and home. It is a struggle to meet the needs of my family. It is exhausting. Instead of finding balance, I feel like I am simply failing at more things right now. I am spread too thin, and there is not enough of me to go around. My heart goes out to single Moms and to Moms who feel as though they have to work and have no other choice. That really stinks.
I like the lab. I like the job. I like my coworkers. I like the fact that it is giving us an income to pay those hospital bills and our consumer debt. My job is a blessing to my family in the way it is helping us meet our financial goals. Returning to the lab has helped me see what direction I would like my career to go, once my children are raised. It is not the job itself that troubles me.
Motherhood is a season. A short season. You don't get a re-do. It is so much easier to be home with the children than it is to be juggling a job and the children. It is not easier work. Actually, being home with children is a lot harder, and more exhausting. There is no sick leave. There are constant interruptions. Working in a busy medical lab is definitely a "break" compared to being a stay-at-home Mom. But life is easier when Mom is at home, caring for the children and the home. I have grown to enjoy that simpler life.
That was the first thing The Referee and I noticed when we made the decision that one of us needed to be home with our kids. At the time, we were both working full time, in our respective careers. We were attempting to balance marriage, parenting, and career all at the same time. It was challenging. Along came Jersey #2, oxygen, heart surgery, and the realization that she was not going to be safe in a daycare setting. Our priorities shifted. I had such clarity that the needs of my children trumped my career goals. The first thing we learned as I started staying home with our children is that 1) there was NO WAY I was going to get bored and 2) the ups and downs of life were simpler and easier to manage with me at home. A child could get sick, and it did not disrupt our schedule. I was home to take care of her. The Referee was able to work and build his career. We no longer had those battles over whose job was more important that day--who got to go to work and who stayed home with the sick child. The level of stress and chaos decreased significantly.
That lesson is confirmed again, as I am back in the workforce right now. This time, we thought we were smarter about it, because daycare is not an issue. I work when The Referee is home. The Referee works when I am home. There is always someone to care for the kids, sick or well. But, life is still chaotic. The parents are exhausted. The commitment of 2 full time jobs is intense. I do not know how families do this as a way of life. For me, this is temporary, and it is still kicking my butt.
I work in a field that is predominantly women. So, I started asking them about how they did it....how they found balance. I was shocked to hear them all tell me that they hated it. Not one of my coworkers enjoys being away from her kids. All of them tell me that they are exhausted and feel as though they are not meeting the needs of their families. It is truly sad to know they struggle with this too. Then, there are the older ladies whose kids are raised. They do not share positive stories about working when their kids were young. Instead, they are stuck questioning themselves and wondering if their kids might have turned out better if they were home with them more.
The Referee comforted my emotions when he shared with me his opinion. He said that he has no idea why some of his coworkers want their wives to work. He said that after having me at home for the past 7 years, the double-income way of life seems awful. Money just can't buy the simpler way of life that we enjoyed. We miss out on a lot of family time as we juggle two jobs.
He also reminded me of why I took this job in the first place: money. When you work solely for money, it is the hardest work to accomplish. The passion is missing. So, we sat down and looked at our budget, our family, and our priorities. We agreed that my working outside the home should be temporary....and as temporary as possible. We started with a 2-year plan. We are now looking at ways to cut that timescale down. The Referee inspired me when he mentioned that if we paid off our consumer debt, it would free up enough of our budget to feel as though we had my income without me actually working. That helped. That fueled me.
To be able to live financially free AND be home with my children, would be the most awesome way to live.
So, we tightened our budget even further, and I work my hours with gusto. Last payday I mailed the final payment to the Children's Hospital that treated Jersey #2. Our first debt eliminated! Oh what a feeling! We are on our way.
...on our way to bringing me back home as soon as possible.
Personally, I think it stinks.
I do not enjoy being a "working" Mom. For sake of argument, yes I know that all Moms work. Moms work hard. But, what I am saying is that I do not like the type of work that constitutes employment outside the home. It is challenging to balance work and home. It is a struggle to meet the needs of my family. It is exhausting. Instead of finding balance, I feel like I am simply failing at more things right now. I am spread too thin, and there is not enough of me to go around. My heart goes out to single Moms and to Moms who feel as though they have to work and have no other choice. That really stinks.
I like the lab. I like the job. I like my coworkers. I like the fact that it is giving us an income to pay those hospital bills and our consumer debt. My job is a blessing to my family in the way it is helping us meet our financial goals. Returning to the lab has helped me see what direction I would like my career to go, once my children are raised. It is not the job itself that troubles me.
Motherhood is a season. A short season. You don't get a re-do. It is so much easier to be home with the children than it is to be juggling a job and the children. It is not easier work. Actually, being home with children is a lot harder, and more exhausting. There is no sick leave. There are constant interruptions. Working in a busy medical lab is definitely a "break" compared to being a stay-at-home Mom. But life is easier when Mom is at home, caring for the children and the home. I have grown to enjoy that simpler life.
That was the first thing The Referee and I noticed when we made the decision that one of us needed to be home with our kids. At the time, we were both working full time, in our respective careers. We were attempting to balance marriage, parenting, and career all at the same time. It was challenging. Along came Jersey #2, oxygen, heart surgery, and the realization that she was not going to be safe in a daycare setting. Our priorities shifted. I had such clarity that the needs of my children trumped my career goals. The first thing we learned as I started staying home with our children is that 1) there was NO WAY I was going to get bored and 2) the ups and downs of life were simpler and easier to manage with me at home. A child could get sick, and it did not disrupt our schedule. I was home to take care of her. The Referee was able to work and build his career. We no longer had those battles over whose job was more important that day--who got to go to work and who stayed home with the sick child. The level of stress and chaos decreased significantly.
That lesson is confirmed again, as I am back in the workforce right now. This time, we thought we were smarter about it, because daycare is not an issue. I work when The Referee is home. The Referee works when I am home. There is always someone to care for the kids, sick or well. But, life is still chaotic. The parents are exhausted. The commitment of 2 full time jobs is intense. I do not know how families do this as a way of life. For me, this is temporary, and it is still kicking my butt.
I work in a field that is predominantly women. So, I started asking them about how they did it....how they found balance. I was shocked to hear them all tell me that they hated it. Not one of my coworkers enjoys being away from her kids. All of them tell me that they are exhausted and feel as though they are not meeting the needs of their families. It is truly sad to know they struggle with this too. Then, there are the older ladies whose kids are raised. They do not share positive stories about working when their kids were young. Instead, they are stuck questioning themselves and wondering if their kids might have turned out better if they were home with them more.
The Referee comforted my emotions when he shared with me his opinion. He said that he has no idea why some of his coworkers want their wives to work. He said that after having me at home for the past 7 years, the double-income way of life seems awful. Money just can't buy the simpler way of life that we enjoyed. We miss out on a lot of family time as we juggle two jobs.
He also reminded me of why I took this job in the first place: money. When you work solely for money, it is the hardest work to accomplish. The passion is missing. So, we sat down and looked at our budget, our family, and our priorities. We agreed that my working outside the home should be temporary....and as temporary as possible. We started with a 2-year plan. We are now looking at ways to cut that timescale down. The Referee inspired me when he mentioned that if we paid off our consumer debt, it would free up enough of our budget to feel as though we had my income without me actually working. That helped. That fueled me.
To be able to live financially free AND be home with my children, would be the most awesome way to live.
So, we tightened our budget even further, and I work my hours with gusto. Last payday I mailed the final payment to the Children's Hospital that treated Jersey #2. Our first debt eliminated! Oh what a feeling! We are on our way.
...on our way to bringing me back home as soon as possible.
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